Atlantic Rim Review

huh hello creepy is that you thank you for choosing the big giant head he cares about you creepy reception is terrible someone keeps trying to sell me information about your big giant head or something it's Mississippi you've been down here before what did you expect the Star Trek Hollow Network no if we're doing that there's a high possibility of you answering the phone while naked anyway what's this about me reviewing atlantic rim it's an atlantic rim why wouldn't you review it Asylum films are what helped make you famous on YouTube yeah thing I can't review Atlantic rim because I haven't watched any of the Pacific Rim movies yet so you can keep that excuse going that's not the point look it wouldn't matter anyway because I do not own a copy of Atlantic Rim and there is no way that I'm spending good money to go out of my house and so you got me atlantic rim say what you will about Amazon but the timing of their delivery system can be downright uncanny yeah but it only seems to work like that once movie I don't want then you'll do the review you know your fans have been clamoring for it okay fine but I'm not taking one this dirty alone this thing was almost too much for the new mst3k not going to be dealing with that kind of horror all by myself see you in a few I look forward to the fresh batch of hate mail from your viewers oh my brother Dean a personality of the best hair and by popular demand we are going back to the show's roots by covering an asylum film Atlantic rim is a movie by the asylum aliens invade mankind fights back you're going to have to open the case and play the movie at some point decker hey let me take this at my own pace okay yes about what I figured also known as from the C Atlantic Rim released in 2013 around the same time as Pacific Rim way three days prior while the DVD case proudly declares aliens invade and mankind fights back that's not even remotely close to what happens in the movie there are no aliens there is no invasion there's monster people get in giant robot suits to beat it up in between mounts of binge-drinking sounds like your kind of movie honestly well I'm all for monsters and giant robots and drinking but somehow I don't think that it's going to work all mixed together kind of like moonshine and Jim and antifreeze brings you well Decker to be more specific Atlantic Rim follows the adventures of red and his friends and the convenient giant robot division of the military after the Atlantic coast is suddenly attacked by monsters they must mobilize to send the threat back where it came from the Pacific Rim where hopefully their agents can get them guest appearances in a better movie can I bring us a better movie to review all they're at it at this point I'll take some of the newer works by full moon meaning you're willing to cover their ripoffs of Twilight I never mind let's take a look at Atlantic Rim and get this job over with if this were a rim job I could close my eyes and think of London or Japanese women anyway let's take a look at Atlantic Rim and see the asylum take another genre I love just to [ __ ] it up we open on an advertisement for a big oil which quickly goes horribly wrong as we find out that there's been a teensy tiny oil spill there are certain things that you generally don't do on purpose not unless you're a Captain Planet villain I really don't want to see what Asylum would do with that show like they could make it worse actually now moving on that was a fifteen million dollar machine down there what would you tell impress sweet Jesus man what happened you just have a three-car pileup in your throat where immediately greeted with the kind of quality that asylum made itself known for such as throwing in a [ __ ] ton of sound effects over dialogue that the editing studio decided they didn't want in the film as well as characters in a soundstage masquerading as a submarine cockpit smashing buttons at random as soon as something goes wrong the second time the crashing sound effect greets us though it's enough to shake the entire oil rig and that's because no that's Carl he's on vacation from Florida now come on where's the lady from earlier shouldn't she be asking it's not a monster are we dead it's just Mardi Gras given the kind of stuff that can go on during that festival though I get the confusion this backdrop for the opening credits establishes yes alcohol and partying exists with that taken care of we cut to the base and introduce the biggest named actor in the film and likely where most the budget went general Hadley played by Graham Greene who you might recognize from Dances with Wolves as the role of kicking bird Mardi Gras also serves an excuse to cut down on how many people he has here to talk to as the meeting room houses only Sheldon geese played by Stephen Marlowe as well as the NASA Nichols Margaret played by Nicole Dixon and stone played by Nicole Shipley no one knows what caused the oil rig to disappear but nicole has an idea he felt this would be a good opportunity to move project Armada into its first live field test just so happen to be designing giant [ __ ] battle robots for a while and the best way to see if they can really do the job is an investigative rescue mission in the middle of the ocean okay this woman reminds me of a kid looking for any plausible excuse to pull her toys out so she can play with them giant robots remember wouldn't you I can see the point she does mention that they tried a rescue sub route but after 15 minutes that up and disappeared too so honestly what other choices they have but to send untested mech warriors out that cost half a trillion dollars to produce of course these mechs need pilots and only a select few are trained to do so such as red here played by David chachi who is out and about drunk off his ass in the middle of the day along with this teammate stacy played by jackie moore squid yeah dude what anything look like that what'd you say you heard me well now that we've seen our protagonist and establish he's a hard-drinking soldiered we got to see how much of a badass he is a random civilian who just so happens to be competing for the Rue Bourbons biggest lush trophy oh honey you do not want me to answer that question the legend of drunken bastards is interrupted by the call of duty however so they join up with a third member of their squad Jim played by Anthony Chris they suit up and get ready to mech suit up in their own personal giant [ __ ] battle robots Jim with the green sword Tracy with blue and red is oh yeah no bother they drop in the ocean and get ready to search I mean as this thing where everyone's hot for no specific reason and Tracy almost dies from no air but whatever error it was never come again so [ __ ] it they march forth on the ocean floor and you guys picking this up what happened down here [ __ ] if I know you aren't showing us anything really neither have I I've got damn near 100 dives and seen countless pictures of others and believe me when I tell you this I've never seen anything like this before you already showed us what the [ __ ] you're talking about calm down if they did show it you would just complain about being able to see the strings they actually do get a glimpse of the movie monster swimming away so red decides to chase after it like he's a dog going after a stick or something however this is a search and rescue just because they are in giant battle robots that would be extremely useful in a fight against some random budget kaiju that doesn't mean they're higher-ups actually want them to do this so they pull the plug sort of the bosses deactivate Tracey and Jim's mechs but red who is rushing closer to the shoreline in shallower water is somehow out of range his plan is to stop the monster before it reaches the beach by running past it and getting to the beach first [Applause] [Laughter] red does battle with the beast from about 800 or so fathoms and actually the fight isn't bad I mean it is bad it's the asylum you expect bad but for the asylum this surprisingly has some entertainment value to it Red's laser beam of death does tons of damage to random buildings but never mind that he does eventually pin the creature down allowing another random character Spitfire played by Jared cohon to blow it away with a missile so the people are saved most of them Steven you just saved most of Beach City yeah laser didn't go well you should know you were there just how much did this guy drink is this a story element thing do they have to be shit-faced before the robots will work for them asylum film remember that's not likely although while red wastes some running time describing the fight we just saw with considerably less spectacle some army guys drive up informing the man he's under arrest for disobeying orders I guess no good deed goes unpunished or evil deed considering the slaughter of innocent civilians Hey until EDF makes me fail missions for blowing up the entire city just to kill one spider I really don't care the one among them who does have an actual moral compass seems to be Jim as we take a break from the story were actually interested in to watch him complete a side quest rescuing a little girl from a burning building way to go super fly not the best shot to try and end on a positive note it's plenty positive none of them have to watch anymore of this movie RIT is locked away for like an afternoon because he's also informed that he has been invited to a party in celebration of that badass victory today I'm getting mixed messages here Tracy's invited to but Jim has that heart of gold and insists on instead spending his time helping the Red Cross with disaster relief so while red spends his nights a s--t yet again we finally moved the plot forward when Sheldon points out that there happened to be at least two eggs of these creatures in the sea the world's fastest Easter egg hunt if the egg is vibrating believe me you don't want to know where they hidden it somehow they are still caught off guard though because the egg hatches instantly releasing a monster that destroys several Navy vessels and gets ashore far faster than the other one searching for it isn't going to be much of a problem though because it's headed directly for the military base our heroes are holed up in Red however has managed to find his way back into the cells since the party so the others have to figure out what to do as either we go in them suits and get red or wee-wee done what do you want to do the suit's away bread then the box naturally robots are a little expensive for the asylum so no matter how useful they would be they're avoided as much as possible why unless there's an achievement associated with doing it I'll rescue red in two minutes with him chewing gum and a toothpick it'll let my gamer score yeah well Jim will see your toothpick and chewing gum and raise you a hammer dad well the [ __ ] followed around red for 50 minutes Jim's clearly a much better protagonist I've been asking myself that for a while now actually so the three of them are now together and able to suit up for battle except they don't instead they get picked up in a car while the monster is bombed from above and great explosions of gore and glory which makes me wonder why they didn't just try that outright but then we clearly see it escaped into the ocean so [ __ ] it good enough question answered they beat the monster and can go drinking to celebrate thank you or what did he blow up the guys competition probably there is some attempt at subplot here evidently Tracy and red or a couple but Jim and Tracy had a fling at some point it almost looks like there's going to be some kind of drama that matters going forward but then we get a call informing them that the monster we clearly saw get away and not die actually didn't die and indeed just got away it's headed for New York now and the only ones that can stop it are these three well them and of course what about the nuclear option Admiral strategy monster is attacking New York City no problem just blow up New York City hey does that or does that not solve the monster problem and he wonders why the cops kept stopping us every five feet when we were in nando yeah the Admiral obviously doesn't want that and besides NASA has some new tricks up its sleeve they have brainwave controls for the mechs now allowing them to pilot the machines with the power of their mind as if it were their own bodies not entirely tested but when has that ever had negative connotations in a movie with that they take off and fly forward to save New York however Sheldon has his own secret strategy takes time we implement the Trojan horse nukes is it nukes its news isn't it hold up they're piloting the mix using their minds now is that right yes well I put this joke off for as long as I could [Music] swooping in to save the day our heroes close in on the monster and by that I mean Jim and Tracey stand back well we get to watch red go solo against the thing for about three rounds again after he runs out of ammo and goes toe to toe with nonspecific please don't sue us giant lizard we find out that their brainwave controls have the adverse effect of causing them pain when their robots get hit as opposed to us who experience pain from watching this oh I felt pain as soon as I saw the DVD box thanks for that again creepy also there's one more thing they kind of sort of forgot to mention before the robots at melee weapons I have no idea why Nicole won didn't bring this up earlier especially as everyone was complaining about ammo but the point is now they can really bring the fight to the Beast and again this is surprisingly entertaining also surprise surprise Sheldon launched emit but that's not really important anyway and that makes it look like a floppy ass fish how after playing how much EDF you're still complaining about physics bugs using that handy-dandy nuke that they just so happen to have now read grabs the big bad and hauls ass for outer space considering they had that kind of power with the mech suit all along this means they could have just shipped the monster into space are you trying to apply logic to an asylum film no but I know how much this stuff bothers you so I'm trying to put that discrepancy in your head so it'll keep you awake at night again thank you therefore happy ending the monster is launched at Newton space and read crashes down to earth in that ultra heavy machine which means he's completely fine yay we say the four of us could all a local drinking establishment and get four shots of tequila sure this is a change of pace I know I feel like binge drinking after this and that was Atlantic Rim sweet [ __ ] I have got to get my mail sorted by a bomb squad or something so what are we looking at here chemical weapons biological weapons medieval weapons Asylum films I'm out just when I thought I was out you [ __ ] pulled me back in its the asylum you know what you're getting into when you go asylum unless you're one of those poor bastards you mistook this for the Pacific Rim and boy that's some buyer's remorse the thing is this particular one was bad but there were a couple of bits to like about it as far as the CGI effects go these weren't too terrible I mean we've all seen far superior a particular node is the film this movie was ripping off but there's also been far far worse from studios with far more credible reputations compared to the asylum so there's that much at least unfortunately those CGI is pretty sparsely used in this movie I mean it's everywhere but there's more than a few situations where the options seem to be kinda low in CGI spectacle or guy sat in a room lit by a light of one of three colors and more often than that we got the latter I really don't care if the characters are seeing something that blows their minds I'm seeing people with shocked expressions and nothing else not to mention the major inconsistency when it comes to characterization honestly Atlantic Rim feels as though it's following the wrong people around red takes up so [ __ ] much screen time a lot of gems exploits sound awesome yet we learn about them happening off screen or after the fact and Tracy has so minuscule development aside from serving his love triangle fodder to the two male characters that she might as well not have been in this movie at all at the end of the day Atlantic Rim is background entertainment is really nothing worth getting too invested in from shallow characters to a shallow plot but to its credit the movie doesn't really piss me off with what it's trying to do or say and honestly I was pleasantly surprised that the CGI fights had some spectacle and entertainment value to them especially towards the climax so to me Atlantic rim somehow comes in at a whopping two army guys standing in the corner screaming about wanting to use nukes for 25 minutes out of five not sure that saying a film didn't offend or outrage you quite as much as you expected it to is high praise and yet I can't think of much more to say about it it's bad of course it's bad this is an asylum film it makes all the classic mistakes of an asylum film and yet manages to not make those mistakes quite as badly as the asylum normally does if you want to watch a good version of this film watch the Pacific Rim movies or as an alternative watch the mst3k episode of Atlantic Rim for a far superior and much more entertaining romp by itself Atlantic Rim can't do much more than be moderately less awful than some of its predecessors coming in at two giant robots that had their Duracell batteries taken out before the monster fight could begin out of five thank you all for watching hi Ventura shadow and robots reminds me of my childhood it's been a year since I've seen a decent movie that had a giant robot in it at least one that was made more than ten years ago well won't matter if you send it to me now I've already got the whole month of March set aside for other better plans so thank you all for watching I have a Decker shadow and remember were the Power Rangers the hell was that oh just something for you to look forward to in the near future good night everybody I still haven't said the send-off line thank you for watching next on I remember giant fighting robot should be you for something more important than search and rescue like employing of entire [ __ ] cities with giant laser beams of [ __ ] okay is that the Power Rangers [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [ __ ] now

Channel: Decker Shado

Views: 108,433

Keywords: Decker Shado, atlantic rim, mockbuster, pacific rim, the asylum, science fiction, sci fi, review (media genre), movie review, review

Id: ln-5fZ0uF24

Length: 22min 40sec (1360 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 04 2019