Mosfilm Studio The Circle Creative Association After 17 months and 7 days had
passed, the ark ran aground on the
highest of Ararat’s mountains. And after the third dove returned with
an olive branch in his beak, Noah threw
open the doors, stepped out onto the
grass, spread his arms towards the sun and proclaimed - “ASSA”!
- ASSA? ASSA!
It is the only word carried to us from those ancient times. Its strength and its purity is passed
down to some of us. Screenplay by
Sergei Livnev and Sergei Solovev Camera operator Pavel Lebeshev Production Designer
Marksen Gauchman-Sverdlov Composer Boris Grebenshikov Sound Ekaterina Popova Assistant Director Victor Trakhtenberg Costume designer - Irina Ginno Make up Designer - Irina Sarkisova Editor Vera Kryglova Sergei Bugaev
Also known as Afrika Tatiana Drubitch Stanislav Govorukhin In a film by Sergei Solovev ASSA PART 1 One morning, I was calling
and calling a girl. The phone rang … and rang. And suddenly a small boy
crawled out from the handset. He was no bigger than
a match box. Even smaller. I was so frightened. I asked him…
Who are you? H-e-e climbed into a glass, Got drunk, and answered,
Jumping on the couch I am Banaban-boy.
Tu-tu-tu. Hello! Banaban-boy.
Tu-tu-tu He crawled onto my old couch and told me he was an orphan. He had had a daddy Bananan, But now only mummy-telephone is left. And soon he will go far aw-ay-ay. Can’t wait for a taxi. And then I thought, it’s not easy to sit and do...
Tu- tu- tu Hello Bananan boy! Excuse me.
Have you seen Bananan boy? No! - Hello!
- Bananan boy isn’t with you is he? No! Hey, listen up black guy! Hey! You haven’t seen
Bananan-boy have you? No, isn’t he with you? No. Mind you, hang on a
minute, let me check. He’s not here. Yes, he’s here! Hello, Bananan-boy! How many you say fit here? 120 containers beneath.
And more on top. On top?
How many more on top? Almost half. And what would the tonnage be? I don’t know. I’d need to calculate. Understood. And you say, in winter,
it is almost empty here? Almost always. Well, thank you. I’d need to calculate. I’d need, need to calculate. If, all of a sudden, your friend
turned out to be not your friend and also not your enemy, well... 812 by 3, how much is that? Have you heard yet,
will we dock at Yalta? No. I don't think so. What are you? A Major? - A Major.
- Why? Why what?
It’s a standard army title. Why not Lieutenant? Comrade, it is hard for me
to answer questions. I am sea sick.
I’ve puked all over this boat. Let’s go. You could even dress
up as a Generalissimo. You freak. Go and look for your cell. Don’t even say it. What cell? We should be kinder
to one another, Comrade. Sit down and don’t you dare drink more. - Got it?
- What? What do you mean drink? What! N. Eidelman “The Edge of Centuries”
Publishing house “Idea”. March 10, 1801
Midday, St-Petersburg It seemed that today Emperor Paul’s
grandest dream had come true. The Court and Tsar were spending their
first night at Mikhailovskoe Palace among the damp walls and stones still
fogged up by moisture. For some reason, the Tsar didn’t feel
the joy he had expected. Perhaps it was the cold or perhaps a
heavy premonition or perhaps the silence of the courtiers or the sullen faces of his wife
and sons – who knows? Who knows..? Mum! Mum! Mum, come on! Honestly,
how long can this go on for? Mum, I’m not a child anymore. No. The boat can’t come in to dock. A storm. Mum, what South? It is snowing here.
In port… I am telling you, I will spend
the night in port. That’s it. Oh God! What now? What? Excuse me. But we can’t understand why an intelligent person
should spend a night in port. May we introduce ourselves? This is my friend Vitya. Why are you embarrassed? Perhaps you’re embarrassed
because he is black. It means nothing. He is our black man,
a Soviet, a Socialist. You might say that in front of you
is a new kind of black man, not Michael or
Joe, you’ll observe, but Vitya. He is a direct descendant of
the detente. Ordinary Vitya. - Hey, you are really Vitya, right?
- Yes, Vitya. - Not Michael or Joe?
- I’ll tell you a worse story. Some foreigner was caught in Leningrad. He was transporting a suitcase
full of snakes into Russia. - I am sorry what is your name?
- Alika. - Strange name.
- Nothing strange about it. It’s a stupid name, that’s all. My mother wanted to call me
Alexandra and my father – Lika. They compromised and
came up with Alika. Crazy.
Like any compromise, by the way. They call this the Black sea. Here is accommodation
Here… hospitality. - Mum, relax, they’re with me.
- Mar’ Antonovna, hello. - Hello, Vitya!
- Hello. Look what a great lodger
we have brought you. Just for one night. Because
of the storm. At our table, everyone is welcome. We don’t see colour or creed. Come in.
The bed is clean, the sheets are fresh. Down duvet, TV. - All for 3 roubles.
- Thank you. Give me your shirt,
I will wash it for you. - Me?
- No, not you. You are welcome - Here.
- OK, thank you very much. The Moor did his job.
The Moor can leave now. Come on! Stop picking at food. - I am drinking milk.
- I am drinking milk. Come and eat something.
I left food out for you on the table. Always picking at food. You already have gastritis…
you are heading for an ulcer. Earth of mine, country of mine… Most favourite of mine. Mama. Stars. What are you doing? - Look, a cat.
- Bring her here. Her eyes glow in the dark. You and your friend are a funny pair.
You could perform in the circus. Who is black in his family?
His mother? His father? His father.
He was a national hero in Angola. I pity his dad. He died under torture. And what is your name? Bananan? - Was that your song?
- Mine. - Doesn’t want to drink.
- I actually work - as a night watchman at the theatre.
- Drink. Drink. We have an excellent hall there.
You can record, listen, delete, record again. We can compose
something together if you want. On Goethe’s way from
Schwarzvbalburhausen to Grilingsvilinger… In Germany, understand,
a city’s importance is in inverse relation to the length
of its name… The mighty poet was forced to stay
in a small tavern for three weeks. - What is it for?
- You will light our way. He went for a walk in
the picturesque surroundings of this completely uninhabited locale… It is not catching fire And, returning to the tavern,
discovered to his amusement, that the only representative
of the fair sex was the idiot maid
of the Tavern’s master. Mute and deaf and a cripple, she was indifferent to
the great Romantic’s ardor. For three weeks this Niobe,
a creature whose face signalled inbreeding, remained cold
to the great Goethe’s ardor. But it is her we should thank for the magical and unrequited love That runs through the entirety
of that genius play “Faust”. The flame is too weak.
It won’t light the way. Don’t say that. If we all light
a match, it will illuminate half the sky. - What is this?
- The theatre. - Who is playing?
- Good, kind people, only they are very small. - Can you remember lyrics?
- I think so. The lyrics are difficult. Keep learning. You need to say “No” three times. Then “Six”, then the word “Female” - What is this?
- A Japanese computer, a Yamaha. It’s cool. Do you like it? A new object appears
in my field of vision. A new object appears
in my field of vision. I will call you ‘Miss’.
I will call you ‘Miss’! - Is that a cupboard?
- No! - Maybe it’s a table?
- No! - What is your number?
- Six. - What is your sex?
- Female. I’ll call you, ‘you’!
I’ll call you, ‘you’! ‘You’! A new object appears
in our field of vision. A new object appears
in our field of vision. We’ll call each other ‘you’! Where did you find this piece of junk? Germans left the car
before they retreated. What Germans? What retreat? The retreat of 43. Three generations have
remodelled this car. I’ve put in a super new engine.
It’s a dream. Not a car. Why are you in such a rush?
Who came in on the boat? - Prince Hamlet?
- Hamlet. Hurry up. - Don’t cry, baby! All is ze normal! Will you check if there is a reservation under my name, please? Yes, you are registered in room 301. Has Andrei Valentinovich Krimov arrived? Yes. He is in 302.
He checked you in. Here you go. Take it, I’ll wait for you here. Hi Mashenka! I am already in Yalta. Nothing. Arrived without mishap. I feel great. No nausea. I’m taking a pill. Did dad leave a message for me? Yes. Yes. I understand. If there is any news I will tell you.
Love you. Bye. Andryuisha, darling, I’m a fool,
forgive me, I overslept. - Oh, I was so worried.
- I didn’t know what to think. - Where did you sleep?
- I rented a room. Three roubles. The storm lasted all night.
Nobody knew when the boat would arrive. Everything was covered in snow! It is not Yalta but the Arctic,
Andryuisha. - I left your things in there.
- Hey you, wait, take this. For this honestly earned rouble,
pour us a coffee please. - You’re not local are you?
- Local. There are no rooms in the hotel.
I need somewhere to stay. Can you help? Yeah. Sure. I’ve got somewhere for you. You can use the TV. A new
detective series starts today. Thank you. And what’s this.
Ir-on cur-tain. - Sorry?
- An iron curtain. Come on, let me show you your room. - I only have 25 roubles.
- I’ll find change. Please don’t whistle
in the house. It’s bad luck. Do you lock the door at night?
I like to go for a walk at night. I don’t normally give out keys. Don’t forget to lock the front door. And please don’t make
noise at night. Come on, what noise?
I will be like a mouse, I’ll dive into my hole and disappear. Let’s pretend you bet on even,
let’s say 22, or on red. But if for example you
get uneven, or black, or zero, the croupier wins. You can’t imagine how cold
my head gets in winter. Wear a hat, day and night.
You have my permission. Volodya, is that you?
Yes it’s me. I need a double base and a case. No, no, Volodya a case.
A case. Not a bag. I’m ashamed to even say what. It’s
an old musical number, terribly vulgar, but maybe because of that,
original. I met Albert. Yes. Yes. The smoker. He’s still alive.
Good, all the best. I will collect
the double bass myself. Bye. - Why do you need a double bass?
- I like classics, Mozart, Sarasarti, Verdi, or for example let’s say Pushkin, you know what I like most about Onegin? The parts written with
the simplest words. Listen: Dusk falls, the samovar is gleaming,
adorns the table, boiling hot. It glows and hisses, softly steaming.
Vapour wreathes the china pot. Olga’s there and quietly fills the shining tea cup never spills,
a drop of that dank fragrant stream. A serving lad hands round the cream. Tatiana hovers at the window, breathing on the icy pane.
She’s lost in thought, now, once again: on the misted window glass, a shadow,
her little’s finger’s traced, I see, the sacred letters O and E. You see. The simplest words. They seem like nothing but they are everything. Let’s have lunch. The last time Albert and I met,
you weren’t even born. He was preparing to get married. He adored the name of his bride. Zoya. Zoya. It’s like.. there is something medieval, alchemical, from astrology
in this name. Remember, Albert? Medieval?
I don’t know. I thought so then. Zoya is an Ancient Greek name,
it means life. It is true. For 25 years already, Zoya is my life. Andrei, congratulate us, yesterday our grandson was born. They told us by phone.
A boy. 54 centimetres long. - Congratulations!
- Unbelievable. And our son is now in the army. And how are things generally.
Are you still performing ‘Sylvia’? Yes we are. Yes. I remember the blue sea,
the cries of the seagulls, The sound of the waves,
we were on top of a peak. We were just like children. I kissed these hands,
I caressed these curls. How painful it is at
the hour of evening longing, To remember jokes is fatal. But I didn’t lie to you, no, believe me, I am always yours. The days of sadness have come, Parting was difficult. So many words, about everything,
we spoke, and love, Love left us. Do you remember How happiness smiled on us, As we swore To love each other eternally. We are confronted This captivating power Can we forget Our love? No, you are only mine, And I am only yours. You were tied to another then, Expectation burned and melancholy. Old insults call us But we cannot forget about them. Do you remember? Do I remember? No, you, you are again mine. And I, yes, am yours! Workers at the Lipetsk Car Factory
have undertaken responsibility to increase
factory productivity… Christ, I am fed up with all this. What factory productivity? The harder you work, the less
they pay you. Change the channel. Oh, stop! The game is called Bangladesh.
I invented it myself. - So, think of a number.
- I’ve thought of one. - So did I. Tell me, what is your number?
- Seven. Seven. I have eight. I won. I can’t imagine how you will
carry this silly case. - Simple.
- Come and find me when you’re done. I’m going for a walk. Don’t get wet.
Find something to eat. Bye... To Simferopol, please! Bye, bye. To the train station at Simferopol. What do you think?
Will we get over the mountain pass? - I’m so sorry about the rouble.
- Why are you making a big deal out of it? I already drank my way through it.
On coffee. Look. - What is it?
- I started to write a book. This is a draft. - What is the book about?
- It is the book of all life. From ancient single cell organisms
to modern day events. Inflammable! Unsinkable! What is this book, guys? The book of all life, old man.
The Great Book. - Yes? Does it work?
- Superbly. This book will survive even
universal catastrophe. - Well, if…
- I made an experiment. If there is a universal catastrophe, then you and I will not survive to see it. Oh. Why do I feel so horribly sad? I feel no better. I anticipated this moment in your destiny. When you feel horribly sad,
listen to this cassette. What made you decide that
I ought to feel… So horribly sad? - It just seems so to me.
- And do you know how tough it is for me, how hard? I live with my mother. Eight years, I have been looking after
her for eight years. Do you want to play Bangladesh? - What’s that?
- It’s a nice game. - I invented it myself.
Think of a number. - Nineteen. - And I chose twenty. I won.
- Lucky you! Andrei! I want to ask a favour. Do you know what I survived
to live like this these last twenty five years? I had been threatened.
But I withstood. You never judged me for leaving. Maybe I am the only one
you never condemned. Your word was crucial. Because of you in the end,
I was left alone. I want to thank you. Andryiusha, help me one more time. I owe money. You don’t know about it and nobody else does either. The only person who knows,
died a long time ago… And so I forgot about it. I have a different life now, different debts, different morals, everything is different. And now this horrible
debt has reappeared. And you cannot imagine how it has grown. - Today I met…
- I know he’s here. He is demanding the money back. - You need to give it back then, Albert.
- I can’t! I don’t have anything to give! Allow me to speak formally. - Please.
- And even confidentially. - Please.
- Your Highness, allow me to ask for your wife’s
hand in marriage. Sorry! I meant to say your niece! You’ve gone mad.
Stacey is madly in love with Edwin and she will never agree to this marriage. We will find out right away. Do you want to use the phone? No. The gramophone. Alright I will find out. Why are you so down? Albert? Don’t take it to heart. Tomorrow let’s go on a trip.
To relax. You can bring your wife. It will be nice, cheerful. Two old friends. I’ll disappear for a while and you can see if anybody follows me. - Do you have a camera?
- Andrei, I’m begging you. And another thing. Hide this somewhere. - Where’s Edwin?
- What Edwin? - My son, Edwin?
- Ahh! That one. - What? What?
- He’s in the café. You should have said so right away. - What, you want to talk to him by phone?
- No, by gramophone! I don’t even understand
what we’re talking about. Really. What nonsense. Come here, Albert. - What?
- Try to climb inside. - What for?
- Try, try like that. Go on. Uh huh. Yes like that. There.
Great. We’ll take the double bass,
carry it in the orchestra. The violin I need is called ‘Gvarneri’. You’re an intelligent man.
You won’t make a mistake. And your debt will disappear. You’ll be absolutely free. Hey, you, man to man, can I ask you to sing something about us,
us pilots? Something great. - The Air Force remembers favours.
- Thank you, Comrade. Guys let’s play. VVS – VVS – Military Air Force Command… A sphere of special attention, A universal vehicle, A universal vehicle… On a night flight, A search in the desert, Great weather and altitude of
Ten thousand, five hundred. Our pilots, Glorious boys, The sky their home, they aren’t sad, Looking at the world from on high. - Allow me to invite this lady to dance?
- Please. - Michael.
- Ludmila. Sasha, behave yourself! A sphere of special attention.
VVC. A universal vehicle. A universal vehicle… Today’s not a holiday, Just a game; The hard part is far behind. The pilots are quiet. Looking at the stars. The exercise was successful. Everyone smiles. VVS. Military Air Force Command. A sphere of special attention. A universal vehicle. A universal vehicle. Art is higher than love. The poetry of mature search. Who are they? The boys from the last parade. Simple guys, Who before anyone
else conquered the skies. Go away. You go away. Hey, old man, nothing serious, get back on your feet. Please. Madame, our deepest apologies
for this disturbance. It’s nothing, thank God. Comrades, I wasn’t sober. - Get down, Major.
- I wasn’t sober. I extend my apologies. Your overcoat, please. I extend my apologies. Ludmila, I apologise unreservedly.
I wasn’t sober. - Come with me, please.
- I wasn’t sober. This behaviour isn’t worthy
of an officer. I wasn’t sober. - He’ll get what’s coming.
- I apologise unreservedly, Comrades. We enjoy a full cultural programme here. An evening of contemporary music, theatre. When are you leaving? In two weeks if the tour
is not extended. But the city is empty,
so probably, it won’t be extended. - Come to the theatre again.
We’ll perform ‘Silvia’. - Excuse me. Guys, can I bother you for a minute?
Let’s go say hi, Andryiusha. I’ve wanted to introduce you for a while. - This is Bananan.
- Nanaban! Krimov, Andrei Valentinovich. By the way I wanted
to apologise for that rouble. Do you want me to return it? What do you want me to say, Albert.
You and I are no longer young men. I never needed to use
a phone book. Like doctors say, its sclerosis, old age! You know, a patient comes
to the doctor and says ‘Doctor, I have memory loss?’ - ’Since when?’
- ‘What when?’ - ‘Your memory loss.’
- ‘What memory loss?’ Good afternoon, dear viewers! Today we are broadcasting
form Nikitsky Botanical Garden. Our garden looks unusual. All the subtropical plants are covered in snow. Catch. Goodbye. Bye, Albert… Snowstorms harm subtropical plants. Some of them collapse, most crack, the roots snap… And sometimes
they die from the cold. Palm trees in the snow look very original. - Then what happened?
- There. The boat came in quietly, quietly. If it was all so audible,
then the boat wasn’t that quiet. The steamer gave three loud hoots… Ready! I think I blinked.
Let’s do it again. - Like that is good.
- Ok. Ok. On the boat you really
can’t mess around. Sturgeon sandwich. Be careful. And in the evening, after sunset,
an unbelievable silence descends… - That’s it.
- I don’t understand. It turns out that this
bearded guy is “Mr Round”. It appears so yes.
Yes it appears so. And they said he was
bald like a knee. Hell, who knows.
Maybe he is wearing a disguise? Well, ok!
What about Swan? To the exit. Go. Stop. Face to the wall. Let’s go. Stop. Let’s go. Open… Slowly the gates… - Allow us?
- Yes. - Come in.
- Yes. Sit down. Thank you. - Have you cut your hair?
- Yes. I did it myself. More hygienic. Shall we continue? I’ve already said everything. I was not sober. My behaviour was not worthy
of a Soviet officer. - I offer my apologies.
- Stop playing the fool. It’s stupid.
Where did you get the uniform? Uniform? Well, ok… Let’s say I lied. Let’s say I’m not an Air Force Major. But I wanted to be… I dreamt about flying so many times. I experienced take off and landing. I flew to space. And floated there. Once when I was sleeping I heard on the radio he had died. I woke up on the kitchen table. I understood immediately that its true, that the first man in space had died.
No more Gagarin!. I cried I cried but I knew that I didn’t want to be first. I am not an idiot. Yuri is unique. Titov, however. Beautiful, intelligent, delicate, stately, smart. When I looked at myself
in the mirror, I saw we were identical. Everything was identical.
Height. Weight. Except for one thing:
the entry form. Tiny letters. Tiny and blue. What? What difference can they make? Tell me? Then, I refuse to speak. Then I lodge a most definite protest. I demand that it is written down: “The prisoner expresses his protest”. His most definite protest. Not a word more. Stop being an idiot, Babakin. It is exhausting and no one needs it. Not you. Not me. Read this. I offer my apologies. I was not sober. Do you know Swan? Swan? Swan? - What ham do you have?
- The usual. - Yugoslavian?
- I think so. - Ok, two portions with horseradish.
- Good. - Do you have lemons?
- I think so. Cut them. Just don’t sprinkle with sugar. - Alright.
- Of course you don’t have soup? Soup at midnight..? Ok, make some broth instead. And roast chicken.
Only don’t boil it, roast it. - What are you doing here?
- Does your mum work here? - Are there water cures?
- What for? - It’s Andrei. He needs a water cure.
- Are you with Daddy? - Why are you blushing?
- I’m not blushing. He’s cool. I’ll go and say hi. - Hello!
- And then order what you think best. - Shall I return your rouble?
- And an order of coffee too. I have a request.
Play for us for an hour. I know everything is shut,
closed, but anyway… Choose how much. I hope I haven’t offended you. Babeish blues… I want to scoff at every girl, My foot hard on the fuse, As I sing my funky tune Babeish blues. I want to rip off their clothes Tear off their wigs And platform shoes. Hey girls! Come right away Because I’m singing Babeish blues. I’m a cool guy. I’m Mr Super Cool. Give me a chance,
I’ll seduce you. Come on mum, jump in bed too. Just let me sing Babeish blues… - What is it?
- Change. We couldn’t drink 100 roubles. Only 20. - Did you write that song?
- Of course. From an ironic cycle about Kozlodoyev. Kozlodoyev? Who is he? You’ll find out. Everything in its time. The ball is over! Turn off
the lights! Let’s smoke straw! Index of Slang*
Zastebat – make fun of, mock, scorn Men – Men
Men Krytoi – Cool men
Shooz – shoes Shoes na platforme – shoes that became
unfashionable in the 1970s Fyz – electric guitar device.
Operated by foot. Papik – Man in his 40s,
not using his brain. Mochalka – a young girl,
of easy-going disposition who also
doesn’t need to use her brain Prikid – outfit Mat – referring to the female sex/a girl
of easy going disposition - For a first treatment that is enough.
- Thank you. Are you mad?
Do you think this is a sauna? - What?
- Put on your pants. I’m sorry! I thought I needed to be naked. Get a towel and cover up. - I know. Tomorrow again at 10am?
- 10am. Oh, hello Arkady. - Has something happened?
- No, nothing. Don’t worry. - You’ve come for a holiday?
- No. To talk business. With you. - Then something’s happened.
- I told you nothing’s happened. Yet. - But we need to talk about something.
- Ok. Let’s talk. Let’s talk. I’ll meet you tomorrow at our place.
One o clock. But no one should see us. Try not to draw attention to yourself. Good luck, Arkasha. Adieu, adieu, papa. Move closer, comrades,
but don’t hide each other. Everyone should be able to see the camera. Ready! Cheese! Crimea, 1980 And again! And again! Are you still working on your book? I just finished a chapter
on Winston Churchill… superhuman flights and unseen falls. If you are normal,
you live an unnatural life. Cool. I don’t live life. To live life is sad. Work. Home. Work. Grave. I live in the secret world of my words. And life, what is life? In reality, life is a little window,
which I occasionally look out of. - And what do you see?
- Well, not much. All kinds of slops. I worked in Orly as a nurse. He arrived from the hotel by ambulance.
It was my shift. Later he told me he was lonely. Life was passing…
And he wanted to settle down… - How?
- Have a wife, children. - But not now, later.
- Why later? Then he said he liked me. I imagined what my life could be like. Who’s that? It is my favourite singer, Nick Cave. And Yuri Gagarin, first man in space. - And this is a “communication tube”.
- What? A communication tube. Sit down. For example, if you want to share your secret concerns about life. We lift the tube to “position number 1”. You speak there and I listen.
Go on, speak. What do I say? Well, for example, what goes
on between you and Daddy? With Krimov? Are you asleep? I love him. For three years he has called
me every single night. Now we are together again and
neither of us want to be apart. Great. Let’s move the tube to “position no 2”. Put your ear there, and I’ll speak here. Katharine II corresponded with
Voltaire for quite a long time. Can you hear me? - Yes.
- It is true, Katharine II,
really corresponded with Voltaire At length and kept a secret diary at the same time. I mean other famous women
of history, they only kept diaries. And not everyone too. Everything changed with the Revolution. - And?
- Oh, I was just thinking a loud. - For my book.
- Why are we talking about Katharine II? Why are we talking about Krimov? - If it is raining it will get wet.
- I’ll sew a special bag for it. Of plastic. With a string. Take it.
Sodium carbonate. Baking soda. An astonishing picture of life. Palm trees in the snow. Yalta in winter. - Do you like it?
- It’s great. It’s yours. Three months of summer. Eternal spr-ing! - Do you want an apple?
- No. - Take this.
- What is it? Photobooth. A present.
Look in your own time. What’s with our Generalissimo? It's a shitty business, Papa.
Sitting in prison. - We need to get him out.
- Easy to say. - We need to bribe someone.
- They won’t be bribed. - Too many or they’re afraid?
- Too many and afraid. Son, you can’t be tight-fisted. Give them as much as they ask. Rich people are different.
Ok, adieu, Papa! - Hi.
- Hi. - What’s that?
- A present. Communication tube. - The coolest thing.
- Communication what..? I don’t get it. Communication tube. For example you want to tell me
something intimate. We bring the tube into
the position “number 1”. - Let’s do it!
- You speak there, I’ll listen here. Speak! Mmm… by the way tomorrow is our third anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But we need to get it right. Your friends and my friends… I can ask Albert and Zoe.
Who will you ask? Guys, it’s snowing on deck. I don’t get it. What are we here for? That man is made of gold,
he pays us dough. He pays. He pays. It’s just a pity our Banana gives
him back the change. Let’s wrap up in this.
Otherwise we’re going to freeze up there. Let’s go upstairs, it’s awkward here. Come on, come on, pull it,
stretch it, pull, come on! You’re still in shape. This was important for me to know. What have you decided? I talked to him.
Nothing to be done Albert. If you can’t сover your debt…
you’ll have to help us. I understand and I feel for you, If it’s easier for you, think that you’re
doing this not just to pay back a debt but as a favor to me.
For the sake of our friendship. We can start with the double bass. You need to understand
I don’t need any old violinist, I need you. You understand? …Just you. - Andrei, this is cruel.
- What to do? Life is cruel. Don’t grovel, Albert.
Anyway you can’t change anything. It will only ruin our friendship. Friendship. Old Man Kozlodoyev crawls along the roof, as sly as a moorhen. He tries to crawl through a window into some tart’s bed. Kozlodoyev used to wander around empty eyed… With a whistle, he’d call girls to make love to him in the bushes. Kozlodoyev used to love making love and satisfied dozens at a time. He became a national hero… and everyone respected him. But today, today, those bitches are hidden inside
their new apartments. And Kozlodoyev crawls on the roof, his trousers wet. He wants the toilet. Is that song dedicated to me? Yes. Did you like it? No. My God, why him? - Go down stairs.
- Why? I’ll check you haven’t
left anything behind. Why are you always shaving? I don’t want you to see me unshaven. And why are you in a t-shirt? If you are cold, buy pyjamas. Only old people sleep in pyjamas.
I hope I’m not old yet. Why don’t you like this t-shirt? I feel like I’m sleeping with Pele. First of all, Pele’s number was 10. And secondly, enough please,
you don’t need to sleep with a footballer. What difference does it make?
I sleep with a tennis player. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry. The poetry of Mikhail Lermontov.
6 letters. What letter does it start with? - With ‘C’.
- Caucausus. That’s correct.
Cau-cau-sus. Listen, did you take Zoya
away from the theatre? Me. Why? Did you check that nothing
was left behind? Nothing. It’s a pity. I knew him for 25 years. He’s gone and left nothing behind. It’s sad isn’t it? The oldest street in Moscow. 5 letters. - Arbat.
- Correct, Arbat! End of Part One.
