Are You The Elephant In The Room? | Chenae Erkerd | TEDxApex

[Music] elephant I'm a person filled with inspiration so much so that every single time an inspirational movie comes out my husband is quick to get tickets it's not only because he likes to see me inspired but Terence likes to see me cry throughout the movie so he can turn into Sinclair James from Living Single and go woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo since I'm inspired by movies in August of 2012 my sorority sisters and I got tickets to City movie Sparkle which was the last movie Whitney Houston started in before she passed away we had just finished our first year of law school as Sparkle progressing ultimately ended I knew this was the last time I will be with my girls before they return for their second year of law school see I had just been academically dismissed they knew this so knowing this before we walked out of the theater I turned to them and told them that although I was the only one from our study group who would not be returning for her second year of law school I wanted them to be great I wanted them to do what they were called to do and do amazing things I knew I needed to clap that was hard though I was struggling with this feeling of how could I be happy for them and hurt for myself at the same time having this feeling of of being the awkward one the odd man out the elephant what's an elephant they're heavy they're big and if we're honest sometimes they stink that was my moment while I clapped it was still heavy it was a big moment for them but it stunk for me when we talk about addressing the elephant in the room normally there's a negative connotation to that because it's the thing that's standing right in front of you that clearly no one wants to talk about or it's a feeling of tension if you will but I want to challenge us all on looking at the positive side of addressing the elephant in the room elephants are the largest land animal they stick together and if you're the female the woman they lead the pack no matter how hard they try an elephant can't control their size or their stature because that's how they were created they have the longest gestational period of any living species which is up to 22 months and when they're ready to give birth depending on the gender of their baby they can birth a baby calf weighing between 200 to more than 300 PBS unique right awkward yes elephant when I was in law school I had a unique odd awkward yet creative way of approaching my finals chance dancing and visual interpretation is how I would memorize stuff and I would often act out my story so people could visualize and memorize what I was saying poetry came natural to me so I wrote a rap for my contracts final because if you had my professor you knew this final was going to be hard and I needed something in addition to prayer that was going to help save my soul with this final so I wrote a WAP to the instrumental of rappers theight by the Sugar Hill Gang it's one of my mom's favorite songs I was pretty familiar with the song so I wrote the rap I performed it for myself and then I went to my professor's office and performed it for her with tears in her eyes she said of all the years I've been teaching law no one has ever wrapped all the contract's general rules and exceptions to me during my final the term offer was being tested I had a slight moment of panic and then I said to myself an offer is how it sounds a present intent to be bound except this count 1 through 7even common law or 207 I did that throughout my entire final all I kept saying was Chen girl C's get degrees that's all you need I got a C and I was proud I went on to become academically dismissed after my second semester of law school it wasn't because my study tactics and WS didn't work or I was incapable of graduating it's just life kept lifing I had only maintained a 1.89 grade point average when I needed to maintain the 2.0 to return and in June of 2012 I accepted that I wasn't going back to law school yet so in August of 2012 when we went to see Sparkle I knew I needed to clap was because it wasn't my time yet have you ever felt like you were the biggest mistake the biggest challenge the greatest opportunity and the greatest thing that ever happen to people all at the same time like you ever find yourself apologizing to people who are intimidated by your stature and your confidence the fact that you didn't allow a not yet to become a never or you could be carrying something that other people just don't understand hi my name is chenet and I've accepted that I'm the elephant in the room you may be too my mom always says PUK you are hard to manage because your presence holds people accountable you being successful is not contingent upon you succeeding first it's in you to push people in front of you stand with them clap with them celebrate with them but when it's your turn they should do the same for you it's also in you to have light in spite of those not right now moments those moments of carrying your 200 to 300 lb Miracles being forced to Pivot but succeed in spite of it so in August of 2012 when we went to see Sparkle I knew I needed to clap because in August of 2013 when it was my time I was readmitted I watched them graduate take and pass the bar and become successful attorneys did I graduate yes did I take the bar multiple times yes but did I pass no that was hard I watched him go to conferences hearings learning sessions have conversations I couldn't even be a part of like how could I be the only one from my study group who didn't go back to school when everybody else did and now the only one from my study group who was not a licensed attorney again feeling odd awkward elephant there's an article written by Morgan Lynch called four things you didn't know an elephant does for you one of those things is that elephants are ecosystem Engineers meaning they eat plants and fruits and they take the seed from their food and they spread it around the forest some where trees can grow because they travel long distances they push trees out of the way so smaller animals can survive when it rains and they take a step because their footprint is so large that rain in their footprint create a puddle so smaller animals can drink from it if they don't have water holes near where they live so they excavate water holes and they fertilize land simply put wherever an elephant goes it leaves its mark it was my dream to become an attorney but it didn't happen that I accepted I went into a career in Human Resources built a brand around recruiting and became a recruiter I helped so many people get jobs that now I sit on the same panels as my lost School professors my contracts Professor would even ask me to come back to her class and recite the same rap that once relaxed my Panic during my final I was an attorney helping other aspiring attorneys prepare to pass the bar even though I could not pass the bar and those same people who I clap for those same people who are now successful attorneys they come to me for job seeking advice when they're ready for their next opportunity I went back to the place where I thought I failed but it was a place where I left my mark my footprint elephant my mom when my mom was 12 my mom rode her bike and she was hit by a drunk driver she fell she crushed her uterus broke her hip because she broke her hip she now walks with a limp the doctor told her that because she crushed her uterus she would never be able to have kids 14 years later my mom birth a baby girl left-handed and Bor one two teeth my mom became a social worker then later a CNA helping the elderly in the later stages of their lives and while this was her day job my mom utilized these skills at night to care for my grandmother until my grandmother ultimately passed away from cancer my mom was able to do that what the doctor told her she could not do she was able to carry that which an elephant Bears wait my aunt Porsha my mom's sister who was micromanaged by a leader who didn't know policy standards and procedures like my Aunt did in spite of being reported multiple times my aunt created Community Gardens programs and a safe place for atrisk youth to learn at one point my aunt was only one of two black women who held the supervisor of educational programs position for the New Jersey Educational system she was a shield for her staff to the wrath of her supervisors because they thought the little black girl from Camden New Jersey didn't know anything clearly I come from a line of women who wouldn't take no for an answer who had some heavy big stinky stuff happened to them so consider those places wherever they may be are places where you may have been left behind you may have felt like you needed to clap for others or better yet you could have been the heavy big stinky beautiful awkward odd Brave brilliant most audacious thing the very thing that pushes trees out of the way so other people can see a pathway through you may have been the elephant the one who won't take no for an answer or better yet the example so while you may be clapping for others now keep clapping cuz your time is coming oh and don't worry about fitting in cuz Elephants Never Do all we do is leave our footprint our Mark and keep them moving elephant right

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 2,541

Keywords: Acceptance, Achievement, Business, Championship, English, TEDxTalks, [TEDxEID:55707]

Id: 2HxEo7IdUqo

Length: 11min 0sec (660 seconds)

Published: Mon May 13 2024