Are Dating Apps Getting Worse? Let’s Unpack It.

[Applause] welcome back welcome back so we are popping a big question today the question is are dating apps dead dating burnout algorithms expensive subscriptions and just some of the reasons that people say they are ditching the apps according to a Pew research poll more and more users especially women are dissatisfied with the apps and headlines report Jin Z is rejecting them as well take a look I have been off of the dating apps best seven months of my life I would wake up and like who liked me it became this weird validation thing and you just match with so many people and sometimes not even talk to any of them what are we doing here no matter who you are the idea of someone paying to try to talk to you when they don't even know you feels desperate not a good first impression and after I hear the horror stories of what people go through these days I'm just glad to be off the market hey ladies is it just me or does it seem like everybody is burnt out from dating it seems like every person I meet every person I talk to whether it's my friends or my work friends or my male work friends especially them everybody's burnt out from dating a New York Times Blockbuster opinion piece call it's not you dating apps are getting worse details the many complaints people are reporting over dating apps the writer 27-year-old Magdalene Taylor joins us along with Deja Chanel a 25-year-old popular content creator from Nashville who was featured in The New York Times for previously ditching the apps also with us Thomas Edwards the dating coach known as the professional wingman with over 15 years of experience who's been featured in the new New York Times The Wall Street Journal he's not ready to bury dating apps just yet Magdalene you are in a relationship but you dove into this head on and in the article you were told by one person the Golden Age of dating apps is over when was the Golden Age some people would say some people would say it was a few years ago before all of the apps implemented these paid subscription models before they had these more intense algorithms where it felt a little more like you're swiping through the available pool of people who are out there so in the original golden age of it right you pay because it was never free most of them were never free you'd go in you'd put your information in and you'd be Off to the Races now I was unaware of the pay wall which is something you've talked about deja you don't like the pay wall makes you do what so what it will do is hide people that they know you're interested in based on the men that you may have liked before men that you match with before it will hide those types of profiles from you unless you would like to pay for it then you can send them aik yeah yeah you guys are right that's reaction as well what Magdalene how much more are people paying in your research that you found to get past these pay walls there are some people who are paying $50 a month some Services even charge up to $500 a month you in your that's crazy in your oped you wrote quote our romantic lives are not products that should be be subjected to monthly subscription fees whether we're ones paying or we're the ones people are paying for Deja you said you used to find Good Men on dating apps when you first joined um you got frustrated you deleted the dating apps that you were how how many were you on at one point in time um I think the most that I've been on is two at one time but these dating apps and I we have a very rocky relationship we're very of and on and off and on it's a push and a pull so it's like yeah because our audience applauded when they heard that you were off the dating apps but surprise surprise you got back on I'm back on yes I'm sorry I can't resist it okay I'm back yes because again I go back to the time when someone says I'm never going back to that club again but then you go back that up again right so so that's real talk um you deleted it and then you got back on because you felt it was still the is the best option it still does feel like the better option because meeting people in real life is not as easy as I feel like it used to be and then also I feel like meeting people on dating apps it should be a place where we are all here to find love so that way there shouldn't really be you really believe that it should be it is not it's not let never believe that dating in general is always to find love some people want to hook up some people want somebody to go to an event I mean it's it's never been the universal I want to find love and I agree with that I just feel like the expectation is that you will at least come on this dating app and say what you're here for if you want something short-term and Casual say you want something short-term and casual but a lot of these men in my experience are saying that they want something longterm they want to find their person when you get to know them that's actually not the case so they're put on a front it's true you posted Deja posted a video on Tik Tok about an interaction she had with a guy that she met at a music festival that really opened her eyes about the big problems of the apps Let's Play deja's video I feel like a big reason that like a lot of these dating apps just are not going to work for most people especially women who date men is that most of these men are not marketable on apps like it's hard to like a man through a screen they don't know how to take pictures their sense of humor rarely ever translates I went to a music festival and I ended up meeting this guy and we hit it off really well and he was like yeah I swiped on you but you didn't swipe me back so I said let me see a profile I L at this profile and I was like yeah there's I would never swipe on this profile I know exactly why I didn't these pictures are hideous the bio is completely empty I would never go for this but meeting him in real life I'm obsessed with you that's the true okay so Magdalene again you're in a relationship but you're nodding yes because you're hearing that a lot from women Thomas you have an interesting perspective because as a coach for years you have said men don't know how to present themselves on these dating apps men honestly they have a hard time doing much of anything when it comes to putting themselves in position to find love most guys will go onto a profile they'll put you know the shirtless pick oh the bathroom selfie the guy with the fish him and his boys and they'll think that oh my gosh I look great but they're not thinking about what she's looking at and what she's looking for most guys are going to put out what they think they how they need to present themselves best but they're not even considering if that's going to attract the kind of person that they want I'm fascinated by that I have to tell you the minute you said the bathroom shot I I I just saw like 50 of them in my head because it seems like every guy everyone and and it it stops just above their underwear so I I don't know don't ask me how I've seen them but I have coming up our panel is sticking around the weigh in on the next question will AI save dating apps that's a fascinating question we're going to jump into it after the [Applause] right hi Tam fam I want you guys to come along with me while I get ready for my second date with the man that I met off of a dating app What drew me to his profile that like kind of stuck out about him was he said on there that he's looking for a long-term relationship as am I he takes good pictures which is very rare for men on dating ass so on our first day we went out to lunch and we actually ended up sitting there and talking for like 3 hours and that's not usual for a first dat for me he was a gentleman he opened all my doors I love that for me I'm hoping to learn more about him because like I said your girl is trying to be booed up by the summertime this is our final look I like it I'm feeling good I'm very excited as you can see by the smile on my face that was a look at 25-year-old content creator Deja Chanel going on a date recently on she's been deleting and returning to her dating app over the past year she's felt burnt out Deja is still with us along with magdaline Taylor writer of the New York Times oped it's not you dating apps are getting worse and professional wingman who's been called the real life hitch Thomas Edwards by the way dating apps have helped millions of people find love over the years uh the former Bumble CEO which is a big dating at Whitney wolf herd made headlines the Bloomberg technology Summit she said of dating that we could be entering a world where your dating concierge could go on a date for you with another dating concierge and then you don't have to talk to 600 people I am I'm fascinated by this because first of all Magdalene you wrote this oped that got this whole hour started you met your love in college you said to me it was the old school way old you've been together eight years when you hear the woman who started Bumble essentially this big dating apps say we could be entering this era of concierge where a version of you is going out with a version of that person you don't like it neither there's our audience no they hate it why is that a turn off because again I think that part of the reasons why people feel that dating apps and dating overall is so bad right now is because it's become so technologically mediated I think the last thing that we need is more technological mediation into our love life Thomas you helped people establish connections and was like 400 marriages you've helped people connect with over the years um but you have this OnDemand dating coach using AI yeah he's going to show us how it works take us through it okay so you pull up wingman Ai and you can ask a simple question like what are great convers ation starters to ask on a date here are the answers and this is great because I use my content so it sounds like me so it would say absolutely there's some fantastic first a conversation starters the key is to ask open-ended questions that allow your date to share more about themselves the great thing about these types of questions is that they show genuine interest in learning more about your date which is important and by being willing to share your own answers as well it keeps the conversation balanced and flowing naturally and so I'm always about giving my clients Frameworks that they can use so they can come up with their own thing guys aren't confident enough so sometimes they need that line they need that thing that they know they need to say so if we are training men or women through AI technology how to interact doesn't that just create the bigger problem that we're seeing is that dating someone is an inperson trial and error human to human thing or do you disagree guys are really afraid of rejection and I I agree I think guys need to learn how to have more courage and develop resilience in the pursuit of love right and so does this AI help that or hurt that the number one question I receive from guys is what do I say to her what do I say to her they don't know what to say and I'm going to give you some numbers to give you an example of why guys are afraid of what they need to say to women the average guy would maybe approach one woman let's say a week weekend and let's say they started doing that from 18 so that's 52 women that they would approach a year that's 520 I mean that's a lot of I haven't really met a lot of guys who've approached a thousand women in their lifetime right I get that I would say in that same time frame the average woman is approached by 10 guys on a weekend so now you're looking at 520 men approaching them in a year 5,210 years so it's not so much that guys are inept because they are naturally inept it's because they the the experience and the intelligence Gap is so wide because guys don't allow themselves to be exposed the way that you guys are naturally exposed that's a very thoughtful answer that's a very so so Magdalene you wrote this article what what did you feel as the big the big takeaway or the big conversation here because it the the apps aren't going anywhere right it's not going anywhere and I appreciate that we're trying to figure out ways to use the technology that is again not going anywhere to help improve the problem but I really think that we need to rep prioritize real life uh learn how to have real world's conversations again I I appreciate I appreciate that you're trying to use AI to do that um that's a great point because Thomas what your AI is doing is trying to prompt that conversation the person still has to walk out the bathroom with the notes whether you whether you meet online or everywhere else at some point there needs to be some inperson conversation so you can make yourself the perfect man online but if you don't know how to have a simple conversation in person it won't matter right so Deja when's our next date oh child I don't know I don't know I'm getting burned out I I want to don't you get burned out I know I'm trying to stay encouraged and remember that you know if you're dating people constantly you're putting yourself out there constantly then they're not all going to work out whether you meet them on an app or in real life you can't be with every body you only want to be with one person so you know disappointment will happen but how old are you remind me how old you are I'm 25 you're only whatever you be me whatever Deja you'll be good though you're going to be good hard facts right here you know I was 48 when I got married you got plenty of time

Channel: Tamron Hall Show

Views: 4,858

Keywords: Tamron Hall, Tamron Hall Show, Tamron, celebrity, Tamron Hall show, interview, abc, abc Disney, news, television

Id: zHKCryScRdY

Length: 13min 53sec (833 seconds)

Published: Fri May 31 2024