Well, Proverbs, chapter 11,
is where we're going to begin, as we kick off this collection
of talks, Pretty Ugly People. And if you have a copy
of the scriptures, I will read to you just
one verse from Proverbs 11 that's going to sort of
set the tone for our time together this evening. And the title of
my message tonight is "Angels on the Inside." "Angels on the Inside,"
that's as opposed to "Angels in the Outfield,"
a terrific Danny Glover movie from my youth. "Angels on the Inside." Proverbs 11, verse
22, Solomon writes, "As a ring of gold
in a swine's snout," or in a pig's nose, as
one translation puts it-- "as a ring of gold
in a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman
who lacks discretion." One of the things that you
hear realtors talk about is curb appeal. Like, if you're getting
ready to sell your house, you can find, I'm
sure, an HGTV blog, 15 ways to improve your
home's curb appeal, right? And that's because when you
go around, and of course, these days, it's so
different because you can get on apps to do this and
figure it all out on the phone. Before you ever
have to go around, you've already sort
of done your homework. But they say that many
people who are buying a home, they make a snap decision
about whether they like it or not before they ever get
out of their realtors car. Sitting there, looking it, no
we're not going to this one. Next. Next the list. Right? Because they don't like the way
the home looks from the curb. So I guess that's
a little intel. If you're trying to fix
up your home to sell it, yes, do think about
the rooms, and getting everything cleaned, and
streamlined, and all the rest. But go, maybe sit in
your car in the driveway, and try and see it
through new eyes. What do I not see because
every day, I see it, so now it's become blind to me. And because of the
curse of knowledge, I can't even look at it like
I don't see it every day, but I do. So the curb appeal, right? Surely, it's important. But let's just agree
together that it's not the most important thing. Because from the curb, you
can't tell if there's mold. You can't tell if there's radon. From the curb,
you'll have no idea whether the home was built
on like an old Indian burial ground, and now there's
going to be a curse that's unleashed on your home
for how many generations because you built there. You never know what things
you're trifling with. From the curb you
can't tell if there's rusty pipes, or good
or bad plumbing. And this series is an attempt
to get better at looking deeper. Because things that
are only skin deep are things that you
ultimately can't keep. We have to learn to do some
relational and personal due diligence to figure out
what's really going on. And of course, I mean
this romantically. I mean, hello. This week is Valentine's Day. So it's appropriate
to be talking about who to be looking
for, and who to say yes to when they ask you on a date. And as we all think about these
sorts of things, of course I do want to apply it this way. And I will say that,
to a large degree, I feel like God really gave
me this message to preach specifically this
weekend to single people, to those of you who are dating,
to those of you who aren't dating but wish you were
dating, to those of you who are down the road-- you intend to get married. And I really want to
speak this to your hearts, and I hope you'll pay attention. But I would say, if you're
married, don't stop listening, close up your notes. All right, it's for
the single people, for all the single ladies. Too soon. [LAUGHTER] This is, of course, going to
have application to all of us, both from the
perspective that we want to be an encouragement
to single people in our lives, to our kids, to our
grandkids, to people in the church who God's going
to put in our path to encourage. But also, God's word
is so good, He'll hit us even with ricochet shots. And we'll see some application
like, dang, good one, God. You know what I'm saying? And he just has His
ways of getting to us exactly what we need to hear. So we want to have
ears wide open. Now, that being said, anytime
I narrow the focus a little bit and say, hey, I'm preaching
to the moms this week, or we're going to single
out this demographic, that has a downside. The positive, of
course, is I'm hopefully going to give some good
intel to those of you who are in a season where
you're navigating that difficult terrain. The downside is, if you've
already passed that season, this can be, at times,
bitter medicine to swallow. To hear what I'm saying
you should hopefully be thinking about
16, 13, 17, 19, 25. And to be 55 hearing
it is, to some degree, a challenging thing. Because if we could agree,
let's agree on this. If we all could go
in a time machine-- load up and go
back to that year, we would love to
listen to this message and do those things differently. And so, it can almost
be like a [SIGHS] a feeling of condemnation. So let me just be
clear about something. I didn't come here this week
to shame you for your past. I came to fight for your future. And so the mentality is not-- [APPLAUSE] --why didn't you then? It's what can we do now? And where do we go from here? Come on, God is a God
of a brighter tomorrow, a great future on the horizon. Dawn is coming. He's got a sunrise for you. So regardless of
where you've been and the hard things
you've been through, we want to hear this
message with a perspective and a heart of
hope, and a belief that God has our best
interests at heart. And so, we acknowledge
the tension. And the tension is, yes, it
would be better if you never did make these mistakes. If your life is wet
cement right now, and you're looking to
the future, you're like, I've never had a boyfriend,
never had a girlfriend. Or kind of looking, I
don't know, I don't know. Listen, I'm going
to tell you, hey, it's always better to
do things God's way. On the other side of
it, if you're like, well, sort of spent two decades
not doing things God's way. Is there hope for me? Yes, there's always
hope for you. Come on, trust God. So that's the tension that's-- we're comfortable
with this tension. [APPLAUSE] But we're not going to not tell
the truth to the young people because we don't want to make
people feel bad who are older. But I want you to hear both of-- and not just older. I mean, you could be
younger and have made tons of foolish decisions, too. So I'm not singling out any age. There's all my tap dancing. I've done it all, right? Now I'm like the attorney. I've given you
all my fine print. Now I'm just going
to tell you we've got God told me
tell you, all right? But I want you to hear
where I'm coming from. Every time I give a message that
feels a little bit sometimes like it's a little bit
harder message to give. Just, can we get back
to Jeremiah 29:11? We're going to get there. But I also want to
preach faithfully what God's laid on my heart. And I wouldn't be a
good pastor if I didn't. So let's not be pigs
with nose piercings. There's a sermon. Let's not be nose-pierced pigs. That's amazing. Wrote that down. Got it. Check. [LAUGHTER] Hope you'll come back because-- [LAUGHTER] Good luck with that. Because as the
series progresses, I've really got some good stuff. I've got the whole thing
kind of mapped out. We're going to be talking about
how to develop inner beauty. As the weeks go on,
we're going to be talking about how to deal
with ugly people without becoming ugly yourself. How to not let inner ugliness
rub off on you, as you have to, in situations, be
around at times, the humanity of broken people. We're going to be talking
about how to not be damaged by the ugliness of life. Can we be pretty in
spirit, even when we deal with ugly situations
and circumstances? That's sort of a roadmap
of where we're going to go. But we're going
to start out here, where we're hoping to
understand that what we can see from the curb
is not the full story. There is truly a
deceptiveness to beauty. When we talk about someone
who's physically beautiful, it can be deceptive. In fact, the Bible says
that clearly, doesn't it? It says, Proverbs 31:30,
it says "Charm is-- say the next word
out loud with me-- deceitful and beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the
Lord, she shall be praised." There is what you can see. That can be a lie, because
it's not the full story. From the curb, dang, girl. Right? That's what Proverbs is saying. That's not bad. This isn't a message to shame
physically beautiful people. This is a message to say
that while it's fantastic, it's not everything. And also to say that it's
passing away for all of us, every single one of us. So what's truly
important is not just what can be seen
with the eyes, what can be posted and get clicks. What truly matters
is what's inner, what's deep down on the inside. A woman who fears, a
man who fears the Lord, that deserves praise and
will get praise forever. All that's glitter isn't gold. As it has been
said, and well said, to judge a book by its
cover is a huge mistake with colossal consequences. And yet, it's so easy
to get hung up on that. You know, in the years since
I released my first book, I've had a number of aspiring
authors hit me up for advice. Technically, it's consulting,
but without me getting paid for it, I will just say. Hey-- I'm just kidding. They'll say, how
do I get an agent? That's one of the most
common questions I get asked. How do I get an agent? The other one is, how
do I get a publisher to look at my manuscript? Or-- and this is one that
always makes me laugh so hard-- what marketing advice
would you give me? What market-- how do I
market my book better? And I always-- they don't
call back a second time. [LAUGHTER] They'll say, how do
I market my book? And I'll say honestly,
have you written it yet? Because you were doing
all your marketing when you're writing it. That's real-- you can
market it all you want. The marketing is in the writing. If it's good people, will
read it and tell their friends about it. There's your
marketing right there. Your best marketing plan-- write a good book. People are going
to want-- oh, bro. Dude, oh, my God. You need this. Put this in your life
and smoke it, right? That's good writing,
marketing is-- but the other one has fun
a funny little theme has been talking about the cover. What do you like covered? I just want to spank, woo. Ha, ha, right? And quite a few people have
really, to a large degree, gotten hung up with me on
cover, as they've asked me, what do you mean about
this one versus this one? And I'm like, I don't really
care about either of them. And what I mean by that is,
again, that the cover is fine. And there should be
some stopping power if they see it in a store. Most people are
buying it digitally, which means they
have to look for it. It means they got told
about it by somebody else who did read it. So at that point, again,
we're back to the first one, first point, which
is write a good book. But the reality is that the
cover doesn't mean anything if what's inside isn't
powerful, isn't vulnerable, isn't helpful, doesn't add
value, doesn't add life. And so, in relationships,
the same is true. Physical beauty, Proverbs is
saying, is like a book cover. OK, cool. OK, great. All right, awesome. You're beautiful. That's fantastic. Is there anything deeper? Is there anything
else happening? The message translation
says to have a beautiful face but
an empty head, that's someone who lacks in modesty. That's someone who
lacks in discretion. Then there's the
receptiveness to it. Something sparkly, something
bright, that must be gold. But not always. Because it's so easy, in this
day of filters, and Photoshop, and Spanx, to look something. But inside, to have it
be a different story. Leased vehicles, right? Oh, man, what a big
spender, high roller. Totally broke, as a joke. Are you kidding me? This fake life that's
being presented. And so, there's a
receptiveness to it. So we need to realize that. Which makes it--
the onus is on us. It behooves all of
us to, in seasons of dating, before
marriage, do your duty by doing your due diligence. Your duty is to do some serious
due diligence before you end up in a situation where
you've been deceived by someone's outer appearance. Beautiful, wealthy, and
whatever, whatever, whatever. You need to go deeper than that. There needs to be some
due diligence that's done, just like in buying a home. You yes, do you want to have
the whole appraisal thing done, and have an inspection done. That stuff's, for
sure, important. But what about beyond that? What is the inspection
not going to tell you? What the neighborhood's
like Friday night at 10:00, for example. The inspection is not
going to tell you there's a neighbor two houses down who
invites like, 84 for friends over. And seven beers in, the
music goes real loud. So coming by not just Saturday
morning when your realtor took you by, come by Friday 10:00. What is it going to feel like? Can you find a parking
space to save your life? These sorts of things are things
that the inspection is not going to tell you, but you have
to do your own due diligence. For one thing, you've got
to read the disclosures. Every state mandates
different things that you have to disclose
when you sell a house. By law, you have
to say hey, here are some things
you need to know. Buyer beware about
buying this house. Some states declare you have
to disclose if someone's ever died in the home. I don't know if it would change
your mind one way or the other. Like, oh, so Charles
Manson did what here? Right? Huh. So it's a really, really good
deal, maybe for a reason. Oh, no, no, they
painted over all that. It's fine now. A new carpet, it's great
just to figure that out. There's some things that a
disclosure will tell you. How about this? Going on the sex
offender website. Just understanding,
eyes wide open, what's happening
in the neighborhood where my kids are
going to be playing. Who lives here? These are things to be
doing before you buy a home. What are you doing? You're just figuring stuff out. You're just doing your homework. We're not saying we're
not going to buy it. We just want to go in eyes
wide open to figure out. I watched one video on YouTube. It was like a 13-point
checklist before you buy a house, from Real
Estate Underscore 777 guy. You know what I mean? It was great. The things I do for
sermon preparation. He was saying one thing that
is important is to ask-- and of course, you want to
get approval ahead of time-- to see if both your vehicles
can fit in the garage. What if your car is too long? And you buy this house,
first time you drive in, [MAKES CRASHING SOUND] Dang it. Just a little, random
things that you understand. Similarly, in
relationships, there should be some due diligence. That's the purpose of
that friendship phase. That should, definitely as
you get into the dating, where you have a couple of
dates, where you're figuring this out, and just who are you? That's what you're asking. The point of the
friendship into the dating is like, who are you? Who are you? We're trying to figure this out. And then, especially
if you're going to move towards
marriage, engagement, this is like hey, buyer beware. What's going on? Who are you? How do you handle stress? What are your go-to
coping mechanisms like? Do you have an anger problem? How do you handle money? How do you handle authority? What's your relationship
with your parents like? What's your outlook on sex like? What's your 20-year plan like? What do you define
success as in life? I think to honestly tell the
truth, the perfect place that answers all of these check
boxes to let your relationship blossom and grow
to fruition, would be inside the local church. Name me a better situation, with
more eyes on your relationship as it unfolds, than serving
and doing life together within the House, where you
have lots of people around you. Hopefully, you're
serving on a team where you get to observe them. How are they with kids? Hi, we got kids here. There's some kids. And how do you handle
being told what to do? Our team lead says you've
got to show up this time. Bristling at that. I don't like--
how do they handle when they don't get their way? All of these things are a
chance to get them to oink. You're trying to get them
[MAKES OINKING SOUND] Oh, but you had such a nice ring. Oh, swines now. Right? We're in this dating
and engagement, trying to see what
their true colors are. Man, you can suck
in for a while, but eventually the
gut comes out, baby. That's the dating. That's the engagement. You're saying, hey,
who are you really? Because I know you. You presented yourself well. Dating is sales. You are selling yourself. Take me. Choose me. Pick me. But what are you getting? This is all of me, honey? That's what you're really
trying to figure out. They can try and smell
like a sheep all they want. But during the engagement,
we've got to figure out what makes you oink. That's engagement. Which is why-- which is why
premarital counseling is so important. To me, it would be like
trying to fly a helicopter without going to flight school. Just get in, oh. there's
a lot of controls. Marriage is more complicated
than a helicopter. Let me tell you. And so, just, we'll
figure it out on the way. Phew. You want to understand
what the dials are, and all these things. And go into a situation
where you're with leadership, and you're talking about
sex, talking about scripture, talking about family
of origin, talking about fighting styles,
personality, dispositions, all of these sorts of things. And seeing where
there are red flags, and getting to handle that,
and having the opportunity to opt out before you
get into a situation where you've got
buyer's remorse, where you've got buyer's remorse. Well, I'm single and I'm lonely. I'm tempted to
lower my standards. Let me tell you something. There's a lot of lonely married
people, a lot of lonely married people. And the Bible talks
about it being better to go live on the
rooftop of a home then dwelling in a house with a
contentious person. And so there's a
lot of people who end up living in a situation
where they're frustrated. And perhaps some of these
things could have been brought to the surface and exposed, and
maybe dealt with-- maybe not-- before it began. Now some hearing
this are going, man. You talking about this is the
exact same reason why we just decided to move in together. We don't know. And our parents
both got divorced, and so we just decided,
we'll have a light marriage, like a starter marriage. We'll just move in
and figure it out. And if it works well,
then we'll get married. And of course, I would
say that I understand that line of thinking. But the truth is,
the statistics do not bear out that that is
a successful strategy. In the short term it works. If you live together
before you're married, you will have a lower
percentage of divorce rate in the first year. But then it spikes
after year five. So initially, perhaps
you've worked out a couple of the kinks of
just the normal toothpaste and toilet paper stuff
that would cause fights and friction in year one. But long term, it does
not help the relationship. Furthermore, it
perpetuates a state of me trying to see
if we're compatible. And what is compatible? It's what you're trying
to figure out during that dating engagement phase. So now you've added
the sex dynamic, and now you've added
the aspect that's supposed to be the cherry
on top of the covenant relationship of marriage. And you're enjoying
that without the promise of every other aspect, which
is economic unity, which is social unity, financial
unity, spiritual unity, and all the emotional aspects
of we've come together. We've covenanted together. But cohabitating
and saying, we're just going to see
if we're compatible, which is code for
how long are you going to continue to please me? And the moment you're
not, I can walk away. And that's not supposed to be
when you're enjoying sexuality. It's supposed to be when you've
done your, are we compatible, work. And are we called together? And what does God think? What does our pastor think? What is-- what are the wise
voices in our thinking about? Are we honoring God together? Is this is this
doing good or bad? Because the cool thing is, when
you're within a small group and plugged in on a team,
as you start dating, people are going,
hey, I've noticed you seem more on fire for God as
a result of this relationship. Or where have you been? You two hang, never
around anymore. It doesn't seem like
you're active and serving. You're blowing off other
people in your life. Because you sort of
have pulled away. That's the real litmus test. Does this relationship cause
you to grow closer to God or drift further from Him? As Jennie I began to be
attracted to one another, we are both serving in the
church, and we both together-- six months into our friendship,
when she finally was allowed to start dating-- [LAUGHTER] When we met, she had made
a yearlong commitment to not date anybody. And I met her halfway through
it, and had made no such oath. [LAUGHTER] So six months was on the clock
of just friendship, purely platonic. But it was actually
amazing because then I was able to ask her to-- I asked her to date one
day after the six month, I think at midnight
on the six month mark. But what I said was, I want to
pursue Jesus and pursue you. And if I get in the way
of you pursuing Jesus, I don't want to
be in the picture. And so, as we've been seeking
Jesus, were both seeking Him and we're doing so together. And it's bringing us
closer to each other. That should be the goal. And people in your life,
who are trusted voices, should be going, that's
exactly what's happening. Hurray for you two. As you seek Jesus, you're
growing closer to each other. And so, that's the hope. And your duty, during
the dating phase, the friendship phase,
hopefully the engagement phase, is to figure those things out. And then, when you've
covenanted your life together, you've promised to come
together, you're in a marriage now, enjoying sex. And guess what? It's not about, I'm
going to walk away when I'm not getting
my needs met, because I'm in this marriage to
make sure your needs are met. That's the spirit of a
spouse in the marriage phase. And so, we get
things out of order when we don't do
things God's way. So what would be some
things you were looking for, during our due diligence phase? I would just say, we're
looking for depth. We're looking for depth,
to put a fine point on it. Because 2 Corinthians 4:16 says
that outward attractiveness, beauty, those
things are amazing. But we can't hang onto them. They're wasting away. Our bodies are wasting away. From birth to death, we
have an expiration date. And our physical beauty cannot
help but to some extent, lose its luster. As the flower fades, so
our bodies do perish. But look what He says. That's the bad news. The good news is, but inwardly,
we are being renewed every day. Our spirits, if we're in Christ,
growing in our relationship with Jesus, like a fine wine,
just get better with time. So the depth that we're looking
for is this maturity, is this-- well, Paul put it this way. The fruit of the spirit is love,
joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness,
self-control. Those things age really well. And I'm telling you something. When you find that in
someone, there's a kindness, there's a gentleness--
a job doesn't hurt. All these things just get
better and just blossom. And you're like, yeah, I
know what you're saying. But, oh, she's so hot. I'm telling you, there's
nothing hotter than worship. That is just
something white-hot. When you see someone who's
passionate about Jesus, responsibility, and
strength, someone who's kind and isn't focused on
them-self, those things-- those are just better, and
better, and then better. All right. So there's a danger, too. Charm and beauty are deceptive. So we've got to do our duty. If we don't, what
we're going to see is something that God doesn't
want us to experience. And that is that the
person we shouldn't be with is going to impact
us negatively. That's the danger of
choosing the wrong person. That's the danger. Let's just broaden it. The danger of having the
wrong people at the key seats at the table of your
life, the key seats at the table of your life-- the person you go
to, the person you run to, the person
who you're constantly in communication with. These are the people that
are helping you steer. And what does scripture say? Bad company corrupts
good character. It's not an "if." It's a "when" and
"to what extent." You will be impacted. You will be influenced
by the people who are the key voices in your life. And no one is a more key voice
than your romantic choice. So the person you
date, the person you end up marrying, this, like
no other relationship on earth, is going to impact your life. Why? Because your heart's involved. And scripture says,
out of your heart flows every issue of life. So if you're like,
well, I love God. I'm serious about God. This is completely separate. Wrong. It involves your heart. So it's going to impact every
other area of your life. As an example of this, this
week, God put on my heart, as I was studying and
preparing, actually from the very beginning of
the series, the Biblical story of Ahab and Jezebel. They are the ultimate,
quintessential, cautionary tale. Ahab was the King of Israel. So this is the man responsible
for leading this nation. He's supposed to
be like a shepherd. I mean, he had David's job. High, right, to
think about that? And so, he's meant to shepherd
and lead God's people. But he made a tragically
horrific choice of a spouse. He married the princess of
the Sidonian king, Ethbaal. Now, Ethbaal has, within his
name, the pagan God Ba'al, or "Bale," as he's often called. This deity of another nation,
worshipped in perverse ways, with ritualistic prostitution,
and child sacrifice, and sorcery. And so Ethbaal's
little girl, Jezebel, was apparently beautiful. And so, Ahab had to have her,
and fell in love with her, and married her. And her influence on
him was, by default, something that impacted the
entire nation of Israel, to a degree that
it caused Israel to sink to the lowest of its--
nearly its entire history. In fact, as we read the story,
as it's put in first Kings, chapter 16, verse 19-- and
we're just going to kind of fly through an overview
of what happened, as he chose this girl. It says, in verse 31, "And
as though it were not enough to follow the sinful
example of Jeroboam-- a king before him who
is also not so great-- he married Jezebel, the
daughter of King Ethbaal, of the Sidonians. And he began-- Ahab-- to bow down
in worship of Baal." First he built a temple and
an altar for Baal in Samaria. Then he set up an Asherah pole-- I think they had one of
those at the Super Bowl. He did more to provoke the anger
of the Lord, the God of Israel, than any of the-- I'm joking-- of the other
kings of Israel before him. All right. So Ahab chose to
follow a girl who was given over to a false God. And surprise, surprise. He ended up given
over to a false God. Now, you're like, what
about missionary dating? What about where you date
someone so you can save them? Date someone so
you can reach them? Hey, listen. I know a really big God who
can save anybody on this planet without you compromising, OK? So He doesn't need you making
a bad relational choice to impact that person. [APPLAUSE] Because the person
who's trying to pull you down has gravity
on their side. It is much easier to be pulled
down than to pull someone up. And so what happened to Ahab,
in a dramatic, grotesque way, happens in miniature anytime we
make a bad relational decision. And so, he ends
up doing all this. And God warned them again,
and again, and again. He sent Elijah. Hey, it's not going to
rain until I say it will, to get their attention. The rain was a picture
of God's blessing. Oh, by the way, Bale's
name, or Baal's name, was the god of thunder. He was the god of rain clouds. And so, the guy was saying
like, hey, he's emasculated. He can't do what his
number one thing is to do, when Elijah cut the rain off. So God tried to get
Ahab and Elijah-- Jezebel's attention. And time, after
time, after time, God gave them the opportunity. Bale was shown to be
powerless on Mount Carmel. Which God answers by fire? Sacrifices were set up. Profits of Baal cut
themselves, and la, la, la. And Elijah was just calm. God, go ahead. Turn the hearts of your
people back towards you. Boom! Fire from heaven. And so, over and over
again, Aham and Jezebel were given the opportunity to
turn from their sinful ways. And they rejected it, rejected
it, rejected it, rejected it. So finally, enough was enough. It ironically came after a
relatively small incident in comparison to some
of their other crimes. Literally, Jezebel rounded up
and killed every prophet of God she could get her hands on. Made it illegal to worship
the God of the Bible. Everyone had to
worship Baal in Israel. But then one day-- this is so funny. Ahab woke up and he's like,
oh, that's a great vineyard. He could see this
vineyard from his palace. And he's like, I
want that vineyard. He's like collecting
trains, and you know, just like you see him as
this pampered little existence. He's like, I want that vineyard. So he goes down, is like,
hey, Nabath, can I buy you your vineyard. And Nabath is like, nah, man. It's not for sale. And Ahab is like, oh,
I wanted a vineyard. And he went home
pouting and sulking. And the Bible says he lay down
on his bed facing the wall, and wouldn't get up
and wouldn't eat. He was so sad. He was sulking and [INAUDIBLE]. So Jezebel comes home, goes,
what's the matter, Ahab? And he's like, he would
sell me his vineyard. I really wanted it. He's like wearing so pajamas. I really wanted it. I wanted that vineyard so bad. And just, oh. And she goes, what's
the matter, baby? Why don't we just kill him? And then if we just kill him,
then you can have the vineyard. He's like, would
you do that for me? And she's like, I will. And so, then she arranges
for Nabath to get killed. And then Ahab is so excited. He's like, yay! A vineyard for me. Nabath's vineyard time. So he runs down,
gets the vineyard. And God's like, OK,
enough's enough. These two are done. And so, he sends
one of his ministers to give them the announcement
that they're both going to die. And in fact, he tells
Jezebel exactly where she's going-- you're going to
be killed in Jezreel, and the dogs are going
to eat your bones. And Ahab, you're going to die. And dogs are going to
lick up your blood. And they both laughed it off,
and didn't take it seriously, and continued to persist
in their wickedness and persist in their iniquity. And guess what? God's prophecy came
to pass precisely. In fact-- now we're
in 1 Kings, 22, it says in a battle, where
Ahab had come out Scot-free, someone at random
drew his bow and hit the King of Israel between
the sections of his armor. The guy wasn't even aiming. He was like
[MAKES HUMMING SOUND] shot it up. And Ahab is like, I'm the best. I've got a vineyard. And the arrow just, bang! Right between the
chinks in his armor. And he was mortally wounded. So he told his chariot
driver, wheel around and get me out of the fighting. I've been wounded. All day long, the battle raged. And the King was propped
up in his chariot, facing the Arameans. The blood from his wound ran
onto the floor of the chariot. And that evening, he died. As the sun was
setting, a cry spread throughout the entire army,
"every man to his town. Everyone to his land." So the king died, was
brought to Samaria. And they buried him there. They washed the chariot
out at a pool in Samaria-- in parentheses, where
the prostitutes bathed-- and the dog's licked up the
blood, as the word of the Lord had declared. How crazy is it? Now, what's really
interesting about this is that the massive
characteristic of Jezebel's influence on Ahab,
and thus, on the entire country was, according to
Jehu, the man who would take the throne later-- whorings. This is Second King's 9:22-- whorings and sorceries. As I told you,
Baal was worshiped in a way that involved
prostitutes and witchcraft. So how interesting
that his blood ran into the bathing of the
prostitutes that he had, through Jezebel's influence
on him, brought into the land, as his blood was
licked up, in command from the word of the Lord. You should see some of
your faces right now. You're like, wow. This has taken a very
dark and surprising turn. [LAUGHTER] God bless you. Have a great week. All right. So Jezebel's death
is all that remains. I should tell you
that after Ahab dies, she assumes the role
of the Queen Mother. And she had a very strong
way of commanding weak men. So first Ahab, and then
her son after Ahab, again was like this puppet King. And she was continuing to pull
the strings from the shadows. And God took down her son. And so, she's all this left. And guess where she went to? The city where God said
she was going to die. It says-- this is
how stupid she is. Then-- her husband's been
killed exactly like God said. Her son gets killed. And so she goes
to Jezreel, which is where the prophecy
said she would die. And then, what was
going to eat her bones? Dogs. When Jezebel heard
about it, that Jehu who was coming to kill her
after he killed her son, she painted her eyes,
arranged her hair, and looked out of a window. [MAKES SNORTING SOUNDS] She got her nose ring on. But this is all she--
this is her go-to. Because this is what, to her,
everything is-- how I look. And she's thinking,
probably, I can seduce him. I could seduce Jehu. It worked on Ahab. I've got my looks. My hair's all done-did. I got my nails done. I'm ready to impress,
dressed to the nines. But guess what? Didn't work. Jehu who entered
the gate, verse 31. And verse 32, he looked up
to the window and called out, who's on my side? Who? Two or three eunuchs looked
down on him from over there. We're on your side. She's crazy. I can smell crazy on her. Right? You don't know what we've
been through, working for her. And so verse 33, he said
"Throw her down," Jehu said. "So they threw her down,
and some of her blood spattered the wall
and the horses as they trampled her underfoot." As it would happen, right? And verse 34, "Jehu went
in and ate and drank." Because there's
nothing that causes you to work up such
a good appetite as driving your chariot
over a crazy queen. And it says, he then said,
take care of that cursed woman and bury her, for she
was a king's daughter. Notice he didn't say
she was the king's wife or the king's mother. Because where
everything went wrong was where Ahab chose to marry
the wrong king's daughter. So he still sees
her there, where she should have remained, in
the land of the Sidonians, where she had no
business bringing her Baal worship and her
evil, ugly heart of darkness into this situation. And Ahab, of course,
is not without fault. But we cannot help
seeing, in scripture, that her influence on him
altered the outcome of his life. Because the Bible
tells us clearly, in sort of the obituary
of this evil couple, verse 25 of 1 Kings 21,
no one else ever sold himself so
completely to do what was evil in the
Lord's sight as Ahab did, under the influence
of his wife Jezebel. So he's to blame,
because no one ever did so much evil in
God's sight as king. But he did so under the
influence of his wife, Jezebel. So the people we
bring into our lives will influence the
outcome of our lives. And as Thomas Hobbs put it,
hell is truth seen too late. What we don't see until
after the honeymoon phase. What we don't see until after
the goose-bumps subside. What we don't see until after
the sparks have faded away, and now it's reality. The gifts have been opened. The money has been spent. Now it's reality. Now it's-- we're actually
finding out what was written on their soul, what
character was there. And, oh, man, that
was a shiny nose ring. But it turns out, it was
in the nose of a pig. The charm deceived me. The beauty has sort
of passed away. Now one of us is
in a wheelchair. Now it's worse and not better. Now it's sickness
and not health. Now it's poorer and not richer. And now we're finding out
what character is there. Now we're seeing their go-to
addiction, their go-to vice. Feeling low? Gotta get drunk, gotta numb the
feeling, gotta spend something. Now we're seeing how
they handle conflict. They pull away and now we're
seeing what's really going on, because the hot chemistry of
the rom-com, it turns out, it was a lie. Because every rom-com
ends with them in bed. And it fades off into the
sunset, happily ever after. But the reality is, when
you make your relationship decisions based on
a romantic comedy, your life will end up,
as this story tells us, as a horror story. And so, God has so
much better for you, which is why he warns us. And so it's our duty to
do our due diligence, knowing charm and
beauty are deceitful, so that we don't end up
in the dangerous situation God doesn't want us to be in. Now I want to transition and
switch gears a little bit, and talk about how, when you do
the opposite of what Ahab did, when you do the opposite of
getting tricked by charm, there is such a delight that
God has prepared for you. Relationships become a
surprising delight when you know not only all that's gold-- not all that glitters is gold. But you also know the opposite
of that, the flip of that. And that's that all that's
gold does not glitter. Listen to me. It's important to know that
not all that glitters is gold. So someone has, wow, look
at that beautiful ring. But their nose is a pig nose. All right, cool. But the other side
of it is true. What you might not describe
as outwardly beautiful might be inwardly phenomenal. And what do I mean by that? I mean this. I mean some of the
people that might not be on the rigid
standard of the list that you've composed,
probably in part because of what our society
has declared is beautiful. And you forget that there
are so many different kinds of beautiful, and shapes,
and races, and backgrounds, and ethnicities, and realize
that true beauty is within. Then you might-- newsflash--
all of a sudden realize that someone who
isn't conforming to a shallow, superficial
standard of beauty might actually make a tremendous
husband and a phenomenal wife. And be a man or woman of
God who, surprise, surprise, is awesome to be around even
when you're both old and ugly. Hello. To think about-- to think about
bigger than just your narrow, I'm 18 and I'm in my prime. Or I'm 30, or I'm right to
actually go hold on a second. What is it going
to be like to raise a family with this person? What is it going to be like
to be a grandparent with them? That's what you
should be thinking. What will it be like to
be 75 with this person? Or God forbid, if one of us is
in a wheelchair or a hospital bed, to think about for
better and not just-- for worse, and not
just for better. Think about poorer and
not just for richer. And to think about
what is life going to be like on the journey of
worshipping God and serving him on the Earth actually
going to be like. There might be some
incredible delight that you have, as
an epiphany, when you realize there are some
epic diamonds in the rough out there. And I was thinking about
Hebrews 13, verse 2. It says do not forget
to entertain strangers, for by so doing, some people
have entertained angels without knowing it. Probably never been preached
as a dating verse before. But this came to my mind
because of the absolutely epic encounters that happened in
the stories of Abraham and Lot. Two Old Testament stories
that he's referencing here, where it was the custom in
that day, if you were in a town for the night, passing
through, there wasn't Motel 6s or you know, Holiday Inns
back in the Old Testament. And so, what you would do
when you came to a town is, you would go sit in the gate
of the city, and you'd wait. And you were hoping
that someone would practice the Middle Eastern
hospitality that was the norm. And they would come to
the gate of the city, if they had a room, if
they had space for it. They would come and
you could negotiate. It was like old
school Airbnb, y'all. You could actually allow someone
to come stay in your home. And it was agreed upon. There was things that dictated
how long they could stay, and what you would offer,
and all of the arrangements. But it was something that
Abraham and Lot both did in the book of Genesis. And both times--
and we don't know how many times they did it. Probably a lifestyle for them. But two different occasions,
they entertained strangers in their home. And they turned out to be
angels on missions from God. Epic, right? Which they never
would have experienced if they had just judged on,
well, you're a stranger. I don't know you. But they got to
know these people. And it was actually,
at the end of the day, an epic story of getting to be a
part of-- all I'm trying to say is, when you take off
the shackles of culture, and this crush, and this
is how it's supposed to be. And this is what
it all looks like. And you actually say like,
God, would you show me how to see people
how you see them, and what's going
on on the inside. And I begin to look for
a woman who fears God. She shall be praised. A man of God, he
shall be praised. There's true strength
that comes from that. Now, I'm not saying that
physical looks don't matter. It does matter. It's good. It's good and fine to
like someone and be attracted to them. I'm just saying that's not
the most important thing. I was thinking this week about
that phrase, the expression, third time's the charm. It's funny, the
things you just say. Well, third time's the charm. Like, why do you say that? I guess it goes back
to the Trinity-- Father, Son, and Holy
Spirit, and a belief in a superstition about that. And so that's why, when
you start your lawnmower the third time and it roars
up, you third time's the charm. Father, Son and Holy Spirit. [LAUGHTER] I just like that charm
is later in the list. Third time's the charm. I'm not saying that
charm is unimportant. You do want to have
some chemistry. You're going to be kissing. It's probably good
if you like it. But that being said, let's
push charm back a little bit. Let's not start with charm. Let's not lead with charm. Let's lead with that
person's got a great soul. That person is a kind person. That person's faithful. That person's generous. There's a compassion. That person does what they
say they're going to do. Look at that, that
person's steadfast. There's a strength, and
those sorts of things. And let's push the charm back
a little bit on the list. Can we just do that
together, to just say, yeah, of course it's awesome. [APPLAUSE] Beauty is great. It's a gift while it lasts. Epic. We're all going to get
crow's feet eventually. It's happening to us all. But let's be kind. Let's look for the
beauty in others. And let's believe there's
going to be some prizing moments along the way. I just love that for
years, Abraham and Sarah could be like, remember when
we had angels in our house? That was awesome. That was rad. Because we brought them in. We didn't judge them
at the external. And what they looked
like wasn't angels. It was wrapped up in humility. It was wrapped up in obscurity. But what was on the inside, man. So you guys are like angels. That's cool. What do you serve an angel? You want more cornbread? [LAUGHTER] And then Sarah is like coming
out with the deviled eggs. Abraham is like, no no. Go, go, go. [LAUGHTER] It's inappropriate. I worked really hard
this week on that joke. [LAUGHTER] Went through so many revisions. I was going to say
like, deviled ham. But I went-- devil's food cake. Thought the deviled eggs, you
could really visualize it. [LAUGHTER] Angels on the inside. Some amazing-- come
on, single people. There's some people
that God has for you to look past what culture says
the whole thing looks like, and to really believe in
that spirit of hospitality. You're going to really
see some angels within. And now, if I could,
let me just encourage you to understand
that you never can, nor should you, expect
that, from the curb, you have any idea what's
going on inside the house. Just to challenge
you for a second. How about Paul the Apostle? This guy is one of the
most celebrated men of God who has ever lived. You know what his physical
appearance was like? Unimpressive. He admitted it. It's probably hard
for me to say, but the Corinthians, he
knew that in the church, they were being
told, "His letters are weighty and forceful, but
in person, he is unimpressive." We have one physical
description of Paul that's handed down through history. It's from a man named
[? Oniciferous. ?] Ten points for getting to say
that name and not butcher it. Paul was a man of small
stature, with a bald head and crooked legs. He was in a good state of
body, with eyebrows meeting, and nose somewhat hooked. Full of friendliness, though,
for now he appeared like a man, and now he had the
face of an angel. Apparently when he really
began to communicate, there was something just-- there was an angel. I love it, though. If you had looked at
Paul, not impressive. But as you listened to Paul,
as you got to know Paul, face like an angel. Angels on the inside. How about Jesus? What do you think
Jesus looked like? You're like, I heard no. Shepherd, sheep on
the shoulders, sash. Always the sash. What was it with the sash? Like a beauty pageant, right? We have one physical
description of Jesus that comes to us in an
Old Testament prophecy. Before he ever arrived,
Isaiah described what he was going to
be like when he came. But because it's
talking about Jesus, it was in the past tense. Because God-- listen to me-- can describe things He hasn't
yet done in the past tense. That's because He can be so
certain He's going to do them and no one can stop Him,
that He can talk about them like they're already done. Let's just take a
moment to thank God for being outside of time. [APPLAUSE] So Isaiah 53, verse
2, which, by the way, is a detailed prophecy
about the cross, and about dying
surrounded by the rich, and being mocked as he died. This is all before
crucifixion was even a thing. It says, "He grew up before
him like a tender shoot, and like a root
out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty
to attract us to him. Nothing in his appearance
that we should desire him." What was Jesus like physically? Without what they
would say, beauty. Without physical majesty. Nothing in his appearance
suggested desire. One translation says,
when you saw Jesus, you didn't want to
take a second look. He didn't inspire a
double-take, like, whoa. That guy's beautiful. He's a good-looking guy. He was unimpressive,
like the Apostle Paul. On the inside, God. So let's push charm to the back. And let's take a second look. Culture will put the pressure
on you, especially this week, Valentine's Day,
the whole thing, to lower your
standards on the inside if someone's good enough
looking on the outside. I'm suggesting we
flip that script, that we lower what
we would consider like, our type, whatever that
means, on a physical level, to raise the bar, should we
find the majesty on the inside, of God working in their
heart, preciousness of spirit. And really believe
that God has-- lowering the standard is
not even the right way to describe that. More like raising the
standard of looking for that inner beauty,
and to see inside of someone, a beautiful soul. C.S. Lewis-- and
we'll end with this-- talks about, in his book,
"The Weight of Glory," how differently we should look
at one another than the way the world does. And at this point
in the sermon, I do want to open it up and
broaden out a little bit, because we've been
pretty narrowly on that. We've been at coffee,
talking about, hey, how do you pick
someone to marry? We've just been just
talking a little bit. Now let's open it up for us all. And let's just talk about
how, not only are we going to let people
in our lives in a way that they're going to
speak into our lives. But let's also
remember that God has sent us to be in this world
to be in other people's lives. We're going to carefully
guard our circle. Let's not let an Ahab in. Let's not let a Jezebel
into an influential position in our life, to
where they're going to cause us to pull
our allegiance from God to other things. But now, let's remember
that we're on a mission. And the moment this
weekend ends and we've had our time worshipping
God together, we're going into a
world of hurting people. And as we do, we're
there to be an influence, and to be an impact, and to
show love, and to show light. To be [? salt, ?] and to
be a light in the world. So yes, on the one--
if you're like, man, there's tension in all this. There's always tension in it. There's always tension in it. Don't trust any pat answer. So there's a tension to, I
don't want to be influenced. But I also want to use the
influence God's given me. And so, in that,
I wanted to close with this, that
profoundly impacted me when I first read it. He writes, it is a
serious thing to live in a society of possible
gods and goddesses. To remember that the dullest,
most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a
creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly
tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption, such
as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long, we
are, in some degree, helping each other to one or
the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these
overwhelming possibilities, it is for the awe and
circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct
all of our dealings with one another, all
friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked
to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures,
arts, civilizations, these are mortal. And their life is to ours
as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke
with, work with, marry, snub and exploit. Immortal horrors or
everlasting splendors. How will we act? How will we live,
if we truly believe that every single person we
meet is an immortal being, made in the image of God? That he intends to be unleashed
to reflect His image purely and perfectly back. I think there will, like he
says, not be any smugness. There will not be any
flippancy, no superiority. But there will be empathy. We'll try and connect with
people, relate to people, see people where they, be
fully present with people and engaged, and care. And we can actually
truly believe that God can use us
to help them release their angel on the inside. Amen.
