America's got talent 2016 - failed - bad - weird auditions

[Music] I'll be here if you need me fifth position now I look so much more European our Mel's eyelash is expensive my name is Florence the shopping yard of Si and Olga's here coming from Kishan we are the professional prima ballerina I think we are ready for the next level dreams come true America ready let's go [Music] [Applause] hello what are your names I am flossin miss Olga okay the cow Simon's working in yeah your dancers choice what you do hope this goes well very serious The Nutcracker you [Music] Oh with bloody hell you know it brings back memories of been in the Spice Girls to separate you two you know what I'm doing what are you doing what is your name Rose let's see this is they can forget something [Applause] if you want to be cavitating male so the act was to set up all of us but just beat the crap out of male me it's for nostro thank you thank you though thank you I'm decapitating [Applause] if you want to be mouth off switch that was amazing you sexy Pennsylvania what is your name young lady my name is Sammy most and what is it that you do well I'm actually a bottom reader it was a hard bottom reader Iran politics you need the future from there behind ya yes I cannot wait to see this [Applause] [Music] kidding me this bottom tells me this person has kind of made a lot of decisions about their life over the past two years winces bottom this person doesn't sleep very well all right come around let's see if we got the few things that we got [Applause] she said I've been making a lot of decisions in the you didn't know that was my book through that whole Simon I'm gonna say no Heidi what do you say for me to know I'm sorry okay thank you so much [Music] I'm Emily Gretz where are you from I live in Ann Arbor Michigan I use someone who should be a star but just hasn't had the char yeah absolutely [Music] [Music] can you imagine anyone going to a concert listening to you make that noise to two hours maybe not that long congratulations three nights [Applause] [Music] you don't like it then you can't get it in the Spanish Oh baby when you talk like we've met before we have I told you before I'm Diane Bernard and I'm from Ocala and I love and I'm back I audition for America's Got Talent in season 9 and I got stage fright and I just couldn't do as well as I'm able to do are you doing the same routine I know I'm trying to impress some more by doing another one it's hard works it will since be on the show I've been practicing non-stop and I come back with something real special would you do what you do [Music] hello young are you oh yeah good what's your name I am Bernard he's back Diane Bernard why do I know your name because I've been on a show before two years ago right two years ago but I learned a lot cents so would the lesson be if at first you don't succeed keep trying all right let's see what you do [Music] so a while [Music] you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I thought it was really boring it's sort of pointless but I'm doing a hula hoop dance it's a dance it was like you I'm gonna fight with it Diane Diane hold on hold on it should be a duo let's show how the neck works put your neck into it [Applause] [Music] [Applause] she can do are you going honey she's gonna do it [Applause] [Music] it [Music] brings you over here that's this way today a giant airplane and my talent I'm Robert I used to be in business I used to wear suit and tie and have my hair cut short I enjoyed it but it wasn't in my heart my heart was seeing people smiling laughs yeah I have so many butterflies but I can see why your butterflies cuz you're beautiful as a butterfl and somebody smiles it's like magic sunshine even in the shade although you turn here in your hand in QA wives are beautiful natural wives are great jobs here my main goal is to see the judges and the audience smile go get them have fun out there [Applause] water he compliment man [Applause] what do you do for a living I give compliments full-time and I'll show a question what did you do before you did this I was a businessman for many years doing what bottled water designing machines basically on a piece of paper and doing magics with water and then what was the light bulb moment when you went I'm gonna go from that to this the light bog was the stress training stress for smiles created by compliments a lot thank you I'd love to compliment the audience on parking no one double-parked and just about every single car was locked [Music] Simon I love your blonde honesty [Music] something something smells really nice Howie [Music] I really love the way you do this [Music] I love how you shorten your name and do a single letter B being beautiful being spicy [Music] perfect knows a lot II [Music] [Applause] I'm gonna let Simon start with the first compliment all right so it's good you're mad so it's a note Heidi it's enough okay Mel you seem to be the last one but I was the last one because I actually wanted more compliments so because I didn't get that many is and know from me too Robert you have four nose okay so you are one of the most consistently bad acts we've had tonight fantastic [Applause] like I can't believe something weighs in line all day all day burgers [Music] [Applause] Nexxus can he kiss us - so I'll take his kisses exes can be kinky I want in [Music] the kids didn't even break during the rest and only the sleep no sleep that other kids really debate and only know this in the sleekness [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] how you doing don't get idea good what's your name I'm Richie the barber to say right out the back there's a man sitting there who has I love you but wait oh I don't think it's gonna be reciprocal because he's a fear of clowns not Luda so how long have you been a clown I'm gonna climb about three years tattoo that's not me your face is tattoos that's makeup it's not coming off no face wait wait wait wait wait let me let me ask you when did you start deciding to become a clown when I was 10 years old my grandfather took me to the circus and stock clown and he turned around he's all Shh don't be scared you won't learn how to juggle so then he pulls out all these scarves and then he makes him float in the air and he told me any time her sad juggle any time happy juggle he inspired me so much I went home and I got on my mouse makeup and I started paying my face and my walls all what do you do don't pay your face am I wanna be a clown I'll become forever I like kept it a secret like I was in the closet closet for a while I got a job working at a barber shop I wanted to be like intervals but it didn't feel real they come out of the closet why not be a real clown for every aisle and I knew that to do that I could tattoo my face people that they can be who they want to be the streams can become reality baby so you're always a clown yeah forever you're the only real clown we met because you can't wipe that off sorry Simon Howie just make him do what if he's gonna do Simon's getting scared he said just make him do what he's going to do I'm sorry Simon go ahead go do what you're gonna do hey hey the boys yeah [Music] TM jugglin Here I am sitting tall like the men I am I'm the boss sorry Rick Oh Stan stop there would she know unicycle soul floods like BP [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] hello [Applause] Tatsuo Simon [Music] you do scare me I think you're a little bit notes but you like it all right no I don't like yeah I do like your enthusiasm so it gives you that enthusiasm get it tattooed then on his face it's more than enthusiasm that's commitment [Music] [Applause] can we just vote Howie uh yes [Applause] I'm gonna have to say no [Music] [Applause] right [Applause] [Music] [Music] you [Music] [Music] [Music] my name's John Bernhard I live in Somerville Massachusetts I'm 52 years old any hard to remember and I'm an actuary a what an actuary we're the guys who do the math insurance companies oh that's how I work all day and right I work with a lot of spreadsheets during the day programming all stuff that uses that Matthew part of my brain performing in front of judges is definitely new to me I played at weddings with friendly audiences these days I have a four year old which takes up a lot of my time so I don't practice as much as I used to but I still like to practice as often as I can well speaking as a statistician I have about a 1 in 50,000 chance of going all the way but I think my act is unique and I think my chances might be a little bit better than that [Applause] hello hello so who are you my name is John Bernhardt nice to meet you John what do you do for living my day job is as an actuary like an accountant we're the folks who didn't have the personality to be an accountant so while you're working what's really going on in your head is is that I want to be doing this full-time yeah it would be a great dream yeah I best of luck I hope it goes well thank you [Applause] [Music] call sale [Music] Oh [Music] [Music] [Applause] Wow well I've just got to say there's something fantastically nuts and weird about each other crazy in the middle it was like you know you stand up for every nerd who's ever wanted to be a rockstar Howie just a joy in your face while you're playing he's so magnetic that I couldn't take my eyes off of here [Applause] song and you butchered it you don't understand I don't okay so when you first died it was awful but then something changed right it was you had an invisible person there new just strangle in them and I thought I've never seen this before I wanted to take back my eggs thank you you can take it back this is an important decision we got to make down let me start with how it now saved with the same kind of electrical magnetism that you gave us yes Thank You Heidi sorry I'm gonna give you a no I didn't like it [Applause] Mel I'm gonna give you a yes look part of me thought it was one of the worst things I've ever seen heard in my life and the other half of me was so desperate to see what you would do next so okay okay [Music] trances son thank you [Applause] teach me how to do [Applause] you [Applause] gosh dog if I've ever seen one someone said we'll describe today where he stopped Rocco Thank You kid actuary I'm I'm 63 years old I live in Seattle what are you gonna do for today I'm going to show you how to love a man laughs never good your lap to go yes I work in the hospital I'm a patient service specialist in 2001 I saw the flag posted in the hospital about the benefit of laughter therapies I think the judges are gonna love you specially Howie Mandel he needs to my laugh at his jokes I'm venting I know Simon sometimes crappy but I can make him to laugh I am here tonight to bring more laughter to the world [Applause] hello hello how are you I'm doing great what's your name my name is Tita where are you from I live in Seattle tell me what you're gonna be doing today I am a laughter coach I made this holidays - laughs yes okay well this one I can't wait to say good luck five under different kind of love today's love with me let's do the pink we loved it [Music] really King laughter share your Neverland [Music] [Music] [Laughter] no Teeter Teeter Teeter no more no more you know you're giving me a headache now eat I can't take anymore this it it was kind of goofy and fun Teeter have you been drinking no B you're a sweetie but I'm gonna have to send no today sorry I didn't well too much I'm gonna have to say no sweetheart [Applause] the hell was that [Music] [Music] my name is Greg I'm 61 years old I'm from Daytona Beach Florida and I have a passion for danger in my family we were always raised to work hard get a career follow that line through life but you know deep inside I always had a passion for danger and risk requires a lifetime of preparation not only physically but mentally judges are always asking for bigger more explosive more dangerous and I'm here to give them that but I don't get this just right I could be going home in an ambulance children do not try this at home good evening sir hi what's your name my name is Greg and what do you do Greg for a living well I'm retired now but before I worked in construction for a long time but I've always had a passion for the big stage here so what you're gonna do tonight is a passion project is how long have you been doing what it is you do you know it's been a lifetime in preparation a few moments of inspiration and tonight will be the culmination is this something you think could win the whole competition I believe it can yes I think this is gonna be dangerous okay let's see what you do good luck he looks nervous is it gonna be dangerous for us right here Oh No [Music] what's in there I wonder what he's gonna do [Music] you [Music] [Applause] the worst thing we've seen so far America's got time you know what I'm going home tonight I've had it good night everyone [Applause] what do you want to vote no no freely annoying you jump Nick job Nick Nick Nick [Applause] [Music] Oh [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] one of those games we gonna be on you I got some on me [Applause] goodnight how we doing hey this is no fly I came back to America [Music] [Music]

Channel: E!. Box

Views: 5,387,797

Rating: 4.5610743 out of 5

Keywords: american got talent, agt2016, audition, failed, funny

Id: PdzFMIDzp2I

Length: 33min 54sec (2034 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 23 2016