American Takes English Language GCSE Creative Reading and Writing

all right extra space nope oh my god there's another one oh no what was i thinking [Music] hello everybody and welcome back to a man who's trying to find the perfect summer dress my name is evan edinger and you've already seen the title you know the thumbnail i'm in this position what are we up to today i'm gonna be trying to finish an english language gcse now i did do a math one last year you guys seem to really enjoy that i do have a degree in math i do not have a degree in english but in america you do have to have a couple english courses in order to get your bachelor's in anything i did english 101 102 right so i should be able to complete a british high school or their equivalent secondary school test in english correct we shall see without further ado i've got everything set up here all right no distractions also this video is sponsored by nordvpn so we'll be hearing more about that in the middle of the video we're gonna try and edit this down as much as possible so that we can just get the goods i have no clue what to expect here i i have not i don't know i'm just not prepared i feel like i'm giving myself so much anxiety going into this so i can prepare for the mental anguish before i go into it i should probably talk about what i'm expecting this to be i'm expecting it to be very technical so it's going to give me like a story and then i have to be like what is the gerund phrase in this or i know it's not gonna be multiple choice because i don't think you guys have that in the uk but i just i'm not looking forward to the writing segment so without further ado i guess we should just get started i'm not going to start until i finish putting my center number of course my candidate number the center number of course was 420 cannon number 69 bringing it back surname we got edinger for name evan hope you're enjoying the rain this rained last time it's it's you know it's a sign you should not do tests in the ring i've got an hour and 45 minutes and let's go all right what do we got read again the first part of the source from lines one to nine okay list four things about this jungle all right so let's i've got the source printed out somewhere back here oh gosh already getting stressed out source a oh just oh my god cool 23 seconds used really really wisely so we got source a right here using a time machine an organization called time safari transports clients into the past to take part in hunting expeditions a group includes mr eckles together with their guide travis is visiting a prehistoric jungle in order to shoot a tyrannosaurus rex and what we got here it says read the source from one to nine i'm just gonna do that then the jungle was high and the jungle was broad repetition sounds like music and flying tents filled the sky those were pterodactyls soaring with huge grey wings i've haunted tiger wild boar buffalo elephant but now this is it said eccles i'm shaking like a kid ah said travis everyone stopped travis raised his hand ahead he whispered in the mist there he is there's his royal majesty now the jungle was wide and full of twitterings rustlings murmurs and size all right that's reading pages one lines one to nine list four things about the jungle from this part of the source all right so the jungle was high the jungle was broad so the jungle was large and tall sounds like music and flying tents filled the sky there were a lot of sounds in the jungle i've only got two things so far i'm not gonna do well am i the jungle i feel like this is problem i don't know how i could be doing this wrong the jungle was tall the jungle was broad so am i supposed to like reference it the jungle was prehistoric i know that from inferring right it was wide he keeps repeating the jungle was high the jungle was broad the jungle was wide there's a lot of different sounds going on in here very overwhelmingly large was very vast he says broad i'm going to put quotes in there i i honestly i'm i really hope i get points i have no clue how this works full of twitterings rustlings murmurs and size so we pick up that it's ancient right the jungle is prehistoric the jungle was wide and full of twitterings in the mist the jungle was misty all right so we're just gonna move on from that next up it came wait what does this say look in detail at this extract from line 16 to 26 of the source all right so 16 to 26 let me read the rest of this suddenly it all ceased as if someone had shut a door silence a sound of thunder out of the mist 100 yards away came tyrannosaurus rex it whispered echoes it ah it came on great oiled there we go resilient striding legs it towered 30 feet above half of the trees a great evil god folding its delicate watchmaker's claws close to its oily reptilian chest each lower leg was a piston a thousand pounds of white bone sunk in thick ropes of muscle we got so much going on here literary wise we've already lost ourselves sheathed over a gleam of pebbled skin like the armor of a terrible warrior that's personification or something right each thigh was a ton of meat ivory and steel mesh and from the great breathing cage of the upper body those two delicate arms dangled out front arms with hands which might pick up and examine men like toys while the snake neck coiled and the head itself a ton of sculptured stone lifted easily upon the sky its mouth gaped exposing a fence of teeth like daggers its eyes rolled ostrich eggs empty of all expressions save hunger it closed its mouth in a death grin it ran its pelvic bones crushing aside trees and bushes its talent feet clawing damp earth leaving prince six inches deep wherever it's settled its weight alright so how does the writer use language here to describe the tyrannosaurus rex you can use words and phrases language features and techniques sentence forms water oh god so here's where my memory of literary techniques comes in so how does he describe the tyrannosaurus rex very tall it towered 30 feet above half the trees how much writing space do i have oh there's a lot there's a lot of let's just start with the first one the writer describes the t-rex i've really i'm not gonna get points off of that i'm so stressed uh a thousand pounds yeah i understand what's going on but i don't understand what's going on it towered 30 feet above half the trees so the rice ribs choice as i want to say overwhelmingly overwhelmingly tall by saying it towered 30 feet above half the tree so i should probably include what what type of sentence form did he do here and if there's any language features and techniques it came on great oiled resilient striding legs those are lit it's a list he's using a list of with commas to kind of be like oh here's some extra information i'm going to keep giving it to you it towered 30 feet above half the trees a great evil god it just represents overwhelmingly tall by saying it towered 30 feet above the trees and over powerful by by comparing it to an evil god he is if you say evil god is that personification it's not like the watchmaker that that's personification right his little watchmaker clause the writer describes trx is overwhelmingly tall by saying it towards 30 feet above have the trees and by comparing it to an evil god he is he is using i don't know wow i'm really bad at english should have listened to my english professor never do english again to an evil god he's creating a feeling of intimidation that's a good word right for the reader all right so that's totally one how does the writer use language here to describe it oh it doesn't even have to do four things that was the previous one so i just have to keep going oh okay i was looking for four separate things this makes me feel a little bit better each lower leg was a piston uh a thousand pounds of white bone muscle sheath and a gleam of pebbled skin oh there we go i was saying like the armor of a terrible warrior this description gets stronger when he personifies the t-rex by comparing it to a quote terrible warrior so the reader can envision the feeling of seeing the great beast better yeah all right uh let's see we've got it's mouth gaped exposing a fence of teeth like daggers he compares the teeth to daggers to show a comparison to weapons for killing yeah wow i don't know how we're gonna do here compares the teeth to daggers to show a comparison of weapons for killing using many similes throughout well now we've gotta go on to here oh he says he might examine men like toys these these hands could examine men like toys further describing the t-rex's giant size the rain is really coming down now he what's the worst it's like he he uses person no it's not personification not everything is personification is it just metaphor simile i honestly can't remember the difference i thought one was as and one was like and it's been like too long for me to remember this says men in comparison are like toys something something toys which is a simile i'm really hoping that's a simile to allow the reader to feel how insignificant small echoes feels in the presence spell presence right evan jesus of the t-rex they also want sentence forms so utilizing oh there's going to be an s here because it's england utilizing many comma separated lists he builds the terrifying image of the beast with increasing intensity like when he says it came on great oil striding legs or oh god no no no no we're just gonna cross that all out because i just said i was using he was using adjectives and i don't want to have to rewrite all that so we're actually just going to pretend that didn't happen cross it out hoped i stick a needle in my thigh made of muscle let's see close his mouth in a death grin the t-rex's smile is described as a death grip further solidifying solidifying the author's strong comparison of the beast to murder to killing also sentence forms i did say we have utilizing many comma separated lists we also have a ton of sculptured stone it closed its mouth in a death grin it ran its pelvic bones crushing aside trees and bushes its talon feet clawing damp earth leaving all right so we have a lot of long sentences that just keep going but i don't know what that's called what's the other thing it wants language features and techniques oh maybe there's an alliteration in here i know that one i lift it easily upon the sky it's mouth gaped exposing offensive teeth like daggers ah so there's nothing in here i don't think that has an alliteration so i can't just throw that in there i said personification sentence forms i've used the comma separated lists words and phrases yeah you know what i think we're good how many more yeah see i think we've done all right all right i'm interested to read the rest of the story because now you think about the whole of the source 20 minutes in i think that's good i am going to be trying to do this as fast as possible which i wouldn't recommend if you're actually taking this down it ran with a gliding ballet step interesting i didn't know it could be far too poised and balanced for its ten tons it moved into the sunlit area warily adverb it's beautifully reptilian hands feeling the air why why eckles twitched his mouth it could reach up and grab the moon that is an embellishment embellishment is that what it's called it's it's so uh ridiculous it's not possible i hope it's embellishment i hope that's the word uh well anyway shh travis jerked angrily he hasn't seen us yet it can't be killed eccles pronounced this verdict quietly as if there was there could be no argument he had weighed the evidence and this was his considered opinion the rifle in his hands seemed like a toy gun we were fools to come this is impossible shut up hissed travis nightmare turn around commanded travis walk quietly to the machine we'll remit half your fee i didn't realize it would be this big said eccles i miscalculated that's all and now i want out it sees us there's the red paint on its chest oh blood the tyrant lizard raised itself its armored flesh glittered like a thousand green coins the coins crusted with slime steamed in the slime tiny insects wriggled so that the entire body seemed to twitch and undulate oh even while the monster itself did not move it exhaled the stink of raw flesh blew down the wilderness get me out of here said eccles it was never like this before i was always sure i'd come through alive i had good guides good safaris and safety this time i figured wrong i've met my match and admit it this is too much for me to get a hold of boy this guy's going crazy now don't run said lesbians turn around hide in the machine yes eccles seemed to be numb he looked at his feet as if trying to make the move he gave a grunt of helplessness echoes he took a few steps blinking shuffling not that way the monster at the first motion lunged forward with a terrible scream it covered 100 yards in six seconds the rifles jerked up and blazed fire a windstorm from the beast's mouth engulfed them in the stench of slime and old blood the monster roared teeth glittering with sun the rifles cracked again but the sound was lost to the shriek and lizard thunder lizard thunder it's a good band name the great level of the reptile's tail swung up lashed sideways trees exploded in clouds of leaf and branch the monster twitched its jewels jeweler's hands down to fondle at the men to twist them in half to crush them like berries to cram them into its teeth and its screaming throat its bolder stone eyes leveled with the men they saw themselves mirrored they fired at the metallic eyelids and the blazing black iris like a stone idol like a mountain avalanche tyrannosaurus fell wow what a journey i thought they were gonna get owned there end of source all right so you now need to think about the whole of the source this text is from the middle of a short story how is the writer structured the text to interest you as a reader i felt interested the whole time actually what if the structural features don't interest me at all i just enjoyed reading you everything about that gcse the writer focuses our attention on in the beginning let's find out what he actually does there in the very beginning we've got very big descriptors for the jungle echols seems excited he's shaking like a kid we've got a lot of sounds going on he's describing the sounds multiple times full of twitterings murmurs and then everything just stopped so i so it sets the mood everything's kind of alive and then bam everything's silent it's dead sound of thunder so then it almost like sets the mood and then shuts it down is that a literary technique i don't know so if we're looking at the actual prompt it wants to know so what it focuses i know how to answer this what the the writer focuses on the beginning how and why he changes this focus as the source develops and any other structural features that interest me how do you guys do this i just i just really didn't like english i love math i can tell you about the number of commas a lot it's a big number our guy here echoes he's shaking like a kid and this is it so he's haunted a lot of things he's very excited however once it gets silent there it's then described in detail as terrifying like murder so we're kind of like seeing it through the eyes of eccles our main character our protagonist here oh i'll use that word protagonist points i'm just trying to get points for anything why why all right so it could reach up and grab the moon so when he uses this embellishment i really hope that's the word you can tell that he's he's like gone from that excitement now to he's terrified it can't be killed yeah so he's now switched he's switched completely here this is impossible yeah he's giving up hope he went from excitement seeing it and described and then terror oh then he builds up a bit of panic now he's like get me out get me out get me out i need to get out of here to really like drive home that gosh he's really terrified he doesn't want to be involved in this at all and then there's the fight scene basically so we've got that and then everything is over it's done what the writer focuses your attention on at the beginning of the source pray for me i don't know what i'm doing many at the beginning of the source the writer uses many adjectives so he uses literary techniques which ones you might ask if i know he uses literary techniques to create an atmosphere of excitement and peace he describes the setting as having sounds like music to go along the protagonist's excitement for the hunt do you guys like this do you all english majors enjoy this by destroy i like reading but this by describing eccles oh god does his name have a why would they give me eccles listen there's one axle i'm doing a pasha bs but describing eccles is oh by describing echoes let's do that as shaking like a kid we feel his childlike excitement uh how and why the writer changes this focus here we go watch this ever hyphen growing mm-hmm ever growing with a hyphen practitioner is gonna love that practitioner what grader marker then the writer uses silence as a split in the source between our protagonist's excitement and his ever growing fear of the beast so he does do all that and he does that to contrast he begins with such peaceful descriptors to deeply contrast yeah so i don't hate this i just don't joke how and why the writer changes this focus so he does it because we're supposed to be with eccles you know we're supposed to be feeling his fear we're suppose he like he did a good job can i just say like writer did good no writer did well so uh the writer allows the protagonist to tell us he's shaking like a kid so later on the source when he's describing the t-rex he can utilize what am i doing describe the trx he can utilize descriptors relating oh my god my foot sitting on your leg for that long it's not good it's not good for your leg and i have to sit really really weird you shouldn't be using a lot of your time when you're taking this test to choose how you're sitting all right just want to say this is the structural feature that interests me all right the writer allows the protagonist to tell us the shaking as light like a kid so later on in the source when he's describing the trx he can utilize the scriptures relating furthermore echo feels to it's like he said a toy soldier he'll examine men like toys oh and he says toy gun when the writer says the beast examine men like toys or put a comma there when eccles refers to his gun as a toy gun this technique really helps ground the reader in the feeling that like he is out of his depth the embellishment i'm praying for that that the beast could and we'll put another quote in there grab the moon also helps to paint a picture of an overwhelmingly intimidating foe ow okay i need probably one more like structural feature about this that i enjoyed like a stone idol like a mountain avalanche i enjoy that he does that it says what other i'm interested in the structural features of that i just don't know what they're called really the rifles like commas lists i really enjoy his use of lists trees exploded into clouds like come on those those are great great verbs is it a gerund when a verb is used as an adjective like blazing i i can't remember participial phrase don't run turn around hide in the machine quick short sentence oh i do like that by writing the dialogue in short sentences the writer continues to build uh tension as it contrasts greatly with the long comma separated sentences that describe the t-rex i think that's it y'all i think uh i think that's all i can write we've got 42 minutes on the clock still recording on both cameras as opposed to last time when i had to stop recording a bit all right extra space nope oh my god there's another one oh no what was i thinking focus on this part how much time should i have spent on the first on this entire thing no i have no idea i'm wasting time but i want to know how much time 45 minutes you were advised to spend about 45 minutes all right suppose i got three minutes to do this bit i really thought i was making really good time focus this part of your answer on the second part of the source from line 31 to end all right all right so basically this entire page oh man this is stressful they you're already doing a hard thing and they're going to time you like this a student said this part of the story where the men encounter the tyrannosaurus rex shows eccles is right to panic the monster is terrifying to what extent do you agree in your response you could consider your own impressions of his reaction evaluate how the writer describes the monster and support your response didn't it i feel like i did that can i just be like see my previous descriptions i i was saying he look look he was comparing to an evil god feeling of intimidation the reader uh you know am i gonna rewrite my whole answer basically i feel like this is a pretty similar oh but i guess this is one of those where they want you to like debate 20 marks they want to show that you know both sides of the story so consider your own impressions evaluate how the writer describes the monster support your response with references to the potential so of course this part of the story when the men encounter the transverse rec shows echoes right to panic uh to what extent do you agree well the writer gives many great descriptions of the beast that would lead one to agree with the student that he compares the guns they have to toy guns making them feel useless against such a mighty foe comma and describes the beast as covered in slime which is pretty disgusting i can't just say which is disgusting which is gross covered in slime and stinking of raw flesh which at the aforementioned size would terrify even the bravest of men so now i need to describe a way in which i kind of disagree and then overall give my opinion we've kind of had these in the states as well the states what i'm going to do is say however travis seems so incredibly calm and disappointed with eccles echoes is a weird name eckel's echoes reaction that one might disagree with the student frick my hand really hurts how do you do ah the beast may appear scary but with travis's calm demeanor we also get the impression that this is not quite out of the ordinary for him and we should feel safe okay i've gone over six minutes i think i've got one more sentence left which is like in my opinion the t-rex is so terrifying that even with travis's remarks i feel eccles had every right to panic all right done is that it or we're a bit over the dreaded picture prompt i hate picture prompts i'll just throw that i just don't like writing how do they do it in the uk how is the gcse done section b writing you're advised to spend 45 minutes on this section i'm gonna spend less we'll see you reminded of the need to plan your answer oh god really oh my leggies sit down in class sorry miss sorry ma'am sorry mom oh don't wanna bump that the whole camera will come down so your local newspaper is running a creative writing competition why and the best entries will be published hey pick it mine write a story about time travel as suggested by this picture or describe your life as you imagine it in 200 years time i'm dead oh describe life okay thought of an easy it's cold i'm dead so i'm gonna use the picture prompt i find that there's a lot to work with here and i have no writing ability to just come up with stuff out of thin air so i want to plan my story it's about time travel and we have this picture so i'm going to try and get as many adjectives and or things that i'm seeing in this picture as possible to to build my story i really want to focus on the light this is grand central station grand central terminal this is in new york city if you guys didn't know i'm an american so i've got this hidden information to give the invigilator an extra point for myself this looks like it could be in the 50s so i'm going to say 50s i have no idea what i'm doing y'all all right let's let's try our best i want to plan it out so maybe i should come up with one of those cyclical techniques where you start this the story with the same sentence as they ended on i used that from my college acceptance essay i got accepted so it's about time travel i think i'm going to be late now i've watched dark on netflix too many times to count and so i feel like i got a lot of time travel knowledge i think i'm gonna try and make a story in which i travel back in time to find my grandpa to get him to miss a train so that he doesn't fall in love with my grandma and then thus i kill myself i am dead that is the story i'm gonna try and build this in i'm gonna try and do it in under 20 minutes right watch the master at work i'm going to be late that's all i got i was really confident going into this i what i want to do is describe like a couple sentences and then get to the stuff in the picture so that way it's not just like being force-fed this so i'm going to be late as the swirling cod of smoke emitted from the tiny gold contraption fully consumes me i awake i don't feel too different i thought aloud as i quickly remember my task i'm trying to describe the train the sound of a worrying i'm so bad writing the sound of a worrying constant murmur fills my ears as i rush around a corner from my hidden entry point and enter grand central station he could be anyone i disparage as i jolt to and fro the station trying to catch a glimpse of my target now i'm going to use an alliteration so that they know what i'm up to the oh what if i use crowd the carnivorous oh yeah that's a good word to describe a crowd because they're in they're eating like all the the other people in the crowd you know what i'm saying like i can't see them because they're it's a it's a literary technique the son another c word the crazed carnivorous crowd that's it i want to say carnivorous because i want to describe them as like that's the feeling you know the crazed carnivorous crowd ebbed and flowed through the station with near lookalikes to my target quickly consumed by their ever changing ever changing by their oh superfluous by their river flowing ooh in the myriad oh that's a word myriad of beams flooding the terminal i've really got to work on this my eyes skittered left to right yet they all moved too quickly all was lost i wanna i haven't even talked about the fact that it is olden times my assignment impossible oh i'm gonna change the story so now i don't know that my boss has told me to basically kill myself like my it's my boss's fault my assignment impossible i wish they'd sent me to the future for once everyone in the 40s dresses the same so i've built up enough i think i've described this picture with the beams and the people and the terminal so now i'm going to just quickly bring the story to a close i'm doing this one real fast all right we don't have much memory on this card i had two hours 4k four two two ten bit you know try my best i don't think i'll ever find him and now i'm gonna use a simile type thing like a hawk spotting it's next meal i saw him standing alone let me see that picture again near the train timetables i saw my victim furtively studying the sign i exploded into a sprint as if my life depended on it the man turned to make his way towards platform three but i was too quick boom i want to use octogenaria no he's a young he's a he's a grandpa in the future but i collided with the young looking businessman causing his suitcase to unleash upon the station a cloud of papers like a plague watch where you're going oh i really gotta bring this home bring this home my hands hurt so much oh just my right oh i want another alliteration maybe or some type of i'm not good at writing i just know alliterations you know i could personify no we we don't want like replied sorry i sorry i offered i'm really trying my best guys i hope you know i'm not a writer here sorry i off i offered as i looked back at my objective list i wonder what makes this guy so important so originally i think i i was thinking maybe of having like a woman on the train look at him and be like that man hot i was gonna have his babies however i now realize that that's telling too much of the story in the end and not in the beginning but i kind of wanted it to be a mystery you don't really know what's going on i'm gonna give myself 13 more minutes i really just want to finish this story they've given me a lot of space to write like wow the biggest story in the world here but i've got this i'm gonna do it an hour and a half all right i think that's the amount of time allotted as i watch him helplessly run for the departing train oh i'm gonna make this so cheesy but i really just want to drive it i really just want to finish this oh can i put something back in the beginning about the la the name of the person nah i'm this is going to be a bad story as i reread my task again ensuring no mistakes it hit me like a ton of bricks bauman the man's last name was the was the name my grandfather had used should i use like some type of traditional yiddish name bauman the man's last name was the name my grandfather used before i should have used a woman so that way i could have just said like oh that was the maiden bauman the man's last name was the name my grandfather had used before moving to canada no i cried out as i rushed to stop the connecting train but each step i took got lighter and lighter as i gazed in horror at the back of my hands which slowly faded to dust mr mama never caught that train nor did he ever meet my grandmother in quebec my dying thoughts turned to vengeance i didn't do this on purpose but now i'm become dust and we're talking about that at the beginning so as the glittering dust that is now my being disseminates through the terminal adding itself unsuspiciously to the sunbeams i'm trying my best here dejected mr bauman looks at his watch i'm going to be late bam all right i think that's it i think we've we've finished an english gcse we now have to look at the mark scheme to figure out what is going on but i think without further ado we've done it oh there's a ray bradbury oh i like ray bradbury that's pretty cool i didn't know that these are all out of order my terrible terrible story would you buy this story what do you write this in terms of like youtuber book and now that i'm done with the test let's see how i did hey have you told them about the video sponsor yet but no why well i i just assumed they already knew oh so you're telling me they already know that nordvpn is the fastest vpn out there which is really useful when you're using wi-fi while traveling at a cafe i mean i don't know how useful the traveling bit is at the moment okay sure but do they know that they can also just with a click of a button change their browsing location to watch some region lock tv shows yeah i'm fairly certain they also know that already well as long as they also know that you can get 68 off of a two-year plan by going to nordvpn.com or using code evan at checkout then i guess yeah they must know about this spawn already yeah they know oh it does already sound like they know about nordvpn well good luck writing your exam thanks it's called marking here by the way so when i pass the british exam the english language gcse let's find out got the mark scheme i give one point for each point about this jungle responses must be true and drawn only from lines one to nine students may quote a paraphrase a paraphase response covering more than one point should be credited for each point made the jungle was tall there were a lot of different sounds in the jungle the jungle was very vast broad the jungle was misty all right i think all those should count there were pterodactyls also except reference to birds what have i got nothing list four things about this jungle from part of the source there are dinosaurs what the jungle was full of peaceful natural noises ah yes there are a lot of different sounds in the jungle i didn't say peaceful i'm gonna give myself one point all right i'm a good invigilator yeah i've got that all right there were tall trees that counts all right the jungle was very vast i don't think i'm gonna get a point for that am i i guess i was supposed to write things like there were dinosaurs god damn it really well it looks like i've got two points out of the necessary four that's embarrassing i think this one's supposed to be the easy one the jungle was vast evan i think the jungle was misty deserves a point personally but i don't see anything oh it was misty in the jungle you know what i'm at three okay i was missing the jungle is on there however being very vast i i don't think that really is going to count there's no implicit information so i got three next up uh it says show's perceptive and detailed understanding of language analyzes the effects of the writer's choices of language i feel like i'm not going to get many marks on this the writer employs an extended metaphor of power and strength to describe the t-rex he says it towered over the trees the verb towered suggesting that the huge creature is imposing itself on its jungle surroundings from a great height and intimidating everything beneath it who speaks like this i said the writer describes t-rex is overwhelmingly tall by saying it towered 30 feet above the trees and by comparing it to an evil god he's creating a feeling of intimidation for the reader i think that's pretty good however it personifies oh as great evil god implying the t-rex is an all-powerful being without mercy and also a terrible warrior an image that conveys the idea of an invincible fighting machine destroying everything in its wake i do not think i'm gonna get the seven to eight on that let's look at five to six the writer says t-rex tower of the jungle the verb tower suggests yes so that's basically what i've written i haven't done all the other descriptors here the creature is described metaphorically as a great evil god suggests its massive size and wicked nature yeah that seems like i've written that and the uh terrible warrior implies the t-rex is a fighter to be feared prepared to use its strength he compares the teeth to daggers shows in comparison to weapons i mean yeah i'm gonna give myself i wrote a lot for this okay utilizing many comma separated lists he builds a terrifying image of the beast which with increasing intensity come on this is definitely in the level three understanding yeah i'm definitely gonna give myself for this one uh five to six marks we're in the level three i'm definitely not in level four this person whoever wrote that who is this billy shakespeare i touched on each of these points though so i think personally and also professionally i think this is more of a six out of eight i've definitely not achieved the perceptive detailed analysis but that's okay the reader together characters has traveled back in time initially the jungle jungle appears natural and undisturbed but this all changes with the word suddenly which almost creates a moment frozen in time for the breeder who this person deserves a seven out of eight whoever wrote that god it is followed by a silence and then a sound of thunder so i have at the beginning of the source the writer uses many literary techniques to create an atmosphere of excitement except i said atom's fear give myself an x of excitement and peace he describes the setting as having sounds like music to go along with the protagonist's excitement of the hunt by describing eccles as shaking like a kid we feel his child-like excitement for what he expects to come yeah but i haven't described this suddenly or any of this i said then the writer uses silence as a split between the the excitement and the ever-growing fear of the beast yet again i just don't think i'm anywhere near that seven to eight marks i if i'm being very honest with myself also by the way if you're watching this tell me if i'm being too harsh or too kind to myself i'm assuming you already will be doing this uh at first the jungle seems calm and the noises are natural then it changes to a sudden silence followed by the sound of thunder the next line out of the mist 100 yards away came the t-rex is in the reader grasps that the cause of this noise is a terrifying monster the rest of the text consists of description which suggests it's becoming fiercer and the dialogue between the two men shows eccles increasing panic now that sounds a bit more like honestly i feel like i'm like in between now like six or seven by writing the dialogue in short sentences the writer continues to build tension as it contrasts greatly with the long comma separated sentences that describe the trx i think i think that's good all right and i think i'm in the seven i'm definitely not eight i'm not at that range but i'm giving myself seven for that okay i i think that's it that's a good seventh echo's reactions change throughout the source at first he seems quite calm melee resigns the fact that he's shooting it it's an impossible task but then when he says it can't be killed he's offering his considered opinion having weighed the evidence and a panicked man wouldn't be capable of rational thought what he feels unprepared and his rifle compared to a toy gun suggests a it's a play thing you would use in a make-believe game rather than an effective weapon against a tyrant lizard with armored flesh i i've said this i said it in the previous one i've said it here somewhere i really didn't write much for this answer though yikes yeah i said he compares the guns to toy guns making them useless against such a mighty foe and he describes the beast as covered in slime and stinking of raw flesh which the aforementioned size of the thing could terrify even the bravest of men yeah it's a bit weak isn't it i've done a weak job on that we empathize with the reaction because the writer's multi-sensory description which graphically conveys the revolting t-rex is we see its skin as crusted in slime implying that oozing pus is concealed into dry scabs which one inhales we smelled the stink of raw flesh blew into the wilderness suggesting it carries with it a step death instruction eventually echo seems numb conveying that by now he's paralyzed by fear and the rational thought he displayed at the beginning is completely vanished there's a zero percent chance i'm in this i should just skipped just give up on the 16 to 20 points however do i have clear relevant evaluations rifles compared to a toy gun how small and inadequate it is yep i said making it useless against such a mighty foe yeah yeah yeah i don't think his reaction is panic at this stage because it says he pronounced this verdict quietly but when the creature sees the men he then starts to fear for his life i didn't talk about that at all both the first and the second level here both talked about how he then begins to fear for his life not only can we see that yes i understand that i don't know why i i don't know why i expect to do well on this eccles says it can't be killed when he first sees the t-rex because it is so big that's basically what i've written i don't agree that he's panic at this point but he compares his rifle to a toy gun to show how useless it is and so he must be scared i didn't obviously do the prompt the right way i was thinking you're supposed to like consider the opinion and then consider the opposite and then state what i actually think the t-rex is so terrifying that even travis's remarks i feel eccles had every right to panic but it asked me to what extent do i agree i think i've done a good job at answering that question i don't know where all these things are coming from who's expecting to do this the tyrannosaurus rex is really big and i think echols is scared his rifle is like a toy gun so it's no good to shoot at such a huge monster when the monster sees the man echols panics and wants to leave the writer says crusty was slime which sounds horrible so i don't play football that sounds like mine oh no oh there's so many points on this one oh literally literally was like he's covered in slime that sounds pretty gross man i use the word demeanor can i get a point for this i want to give myself 6 out of 20 oh god i think i'm definitely not anywhere near the first two ranks here but oh i'm really embarrassed this is rough this is wrong i did it i did well on a german gcse i passed that with flying colors but i think it's because this is like what is this uh creative writing and understand oh boy i could not do this in german in the slightest oh my god i'm gonna give myself seven points out of twenty i don't know where the end of this is i'm gonna put seven over twenty yikes so far we've got three out of four then we have six out of eight seven out of eight really i did that well yeah however i then completely bombed this section and got 6 out of 20. so these are my scores so far this is looking really hopeless hope you all do better than me uh hopefully you're learning from my mistakes these credits should be given according to the quality of what's written so the progressive reaction of echoes from calm to fear inducing paralysis i kind of talked about that the comparison of the rifle to a toy gun to emphasize inadequacy i did do that the sensory description of the t-rex i kind of did that whether or not the trx is terrifying i feel like maybe i could have gotten eight points but i'm going to stick with the small points because i'm trying to be real about how individual it would really feel about all right so i'm going to try and grade the story myself based on what we have here in the mark scheme and then i'm going to ask my flatmates to see what their opinion is and see if i deserved a higher or lower grade based on what i got so level four we're going to read it just for the jokes i don't think i'm anywhere near level four for this i just don't all right i'll just go out there we have communication is convincing and compelling tone style and register are assuredly matched to purpose and audience extensive and ambitious vocabulary with sustained crafting listen i used glittered that's a big word grumbled throwing stuff out there i also threw in a myriad right that's a good word writing is compelled compelling incorporating a range of convincing and complex ideas just skip i just gotta skip well there's no way what do we got lower level four communications convincing tone style and register are convincingly matched to purpose of the audience sure extensive vocabulary with conscious crafting of linguistic devices i used an alliteration i get points from and consistently coherent use of paragraphs yes you see this indentions the indenting we know how to make a paragraph i get this right can i just put myself in 1921 communication is clear tone is matched to purpose and audience sophisticated vocabulary and phrasing chosen with effects i'm hoping i'm going to be in this area and not in this area communicates with some success ooh communicates with some sustained success i think my my communication is pretty clear the tone style and register are generally matched to purpose for the audience and vocabulary clearly chosen for the effect that sounds about it lower three the higher three increasingly sophisticated vocabulary increasingly you want me to start off being like see spot run and be like spot ran sprintingly fast making up my own words this is some just some bull crap watch where you're going now that it's a good sentence we used some dialogues i i threw commas in i know how to write dialogue dejected comma that's right mr bauman looks at his watch i'm gonna be late listen that's a cool device the cyclical type storytelling dust glitter delicately oh you know what that's not an alteration but i like the d and the d though i like i think we're doing an all right job i wish they'd sent me to uh the future for once i grumbled everyone uh you know what evan in the 40s okay we've done the 40s i just don't think i'll ever find him then like a hawk spotting its next meal i saw him this is coherent everything flows i'm gonna be real i don't think i deserve to be in the level two i don't i'm not we're near double four those those people are wild but i think i'm in level three i'm in between top or bottom up or lower so basically i'm either a 17 or a 14 and i'm gonna ask my flatmates to see if they think i should be in the 17 or the 14 or lower or higher let's see this is noah my flatmate his shirt is skin colored this is the prompt all right your local newspapers aren't creative writing competitions the best entries will be published either write story about time travel suggested by this picture i'm going to be late what oh i wrote that i was just kind of planning some stuff you know me planning your planning is i'm going to be late 50s oh my god i'm going to fail already as the swirling cloud of smoke emitted from the tang i'm gonna be honest it looks like i said ting what is it oh tiny contraption cloud cloud i'm gonna read it to you [Applause] i obviously have chicken scratch handwriting i awake i don't feel too different i thought aloud as i quickly remembered my task the sound of a whirring constant murmur filled my ears as i rush around a corner from my hidden entry point and enter grand central station he could be anyone i disparage as i jolt to and fro the station trying to catch a glimpse of my target the crazed carnivorous crowd ebbed and flowed throughout the style with near lookalikes to my target quickly consumed by their ever-changing and ever-moving forms dust glittered delicately in the myriad of beams of sun flooding the terminal in its warm glow my eyes skittered left to right yet they all moved too quickly all was lost my assignment impossible i wish they'd sent me to the future for once i grumbled everyone in the 40s dresses the same i just don't think i'll ever find him then like a hawk spotting its next meal i saw him standing alone near the train times tables i saw my victim furtively studying the sign had a second to waste at that moment i exploded into a sprint as if my life depended on it the man turned to make his way towards platform three but i was too quick boom i collided with the young looking businessman causing his suitcase to unleash upon the station a cloud of papers like a plague watch where you're going he cried out angrily desperately trying to collect his belongings sorry i offered as i looked back at my objective list hmm i wonder what makes this guy so important that i have to bump into him here i ponder as i watch him helplessly run for the departing train as i reread my task again and showing no mistakes it hit me like a ton of bricks mr baumann the man bauman the man's last name was the name of my grandfather that he had used before moving to canada no no i cried out as i rushed to stop the connecting train but each step i took got lighter and lighter as i gazed in horror at the back of my hands which slowly faded to dust mr bauman never caught that train nor did he ever meet my grandmother in quebec my dying thoughts turned a vengeance as the glittering dust that is now my being disseminates through the terminal adding itself unsuspiciously to the sunbeams dejected mr baumann looks at his watch i'm going to be late and finishes the same wait that was a literary technique your grandmother because you got the wrong train yeah so he never meets her and therefore i never get bored that yeah i was implied okay good i thought so because i was like you could just get them originally i was gonna have it be like a woman looking off being like what a hot man but i don't think i could do that that's good it's very you're very much putting in like alliteration yeah similes metaphors like they're just definitely there but do you feel like they fit or did i just kind of throw them in i mean i think both i think both yeah i think some of them like hell yeah some of them i'm like i know what you're doing yeah i figured that they were just going to give me points based on how many of those i just shoved in 40 marks 24 for content and organization 16 for technical accuracy so in terms of yours is good but that's just not how writing good i yeah i tried my best to throw in a lot of things that would make the story interesting i finished the story in terms of my content and organization i gave myself an upper to lower three i just gave up on four four says that i had varied and intensive use of structural features writing is compelling incorporating a range of convincing and complex ideas and i fluently linked paragraphs why did you not do yourself before you really well i was trying to be do you really think that was a four i don't know oh yeah to be fair i was i was i was more paying attention to like every like like similarly like meta or like those kind of things you put in that like i wasn't looking at a different paragraph i was like low four low four wow okay i i haven't i don't know if this even was how my gcses were i don't remember that's how this one was in 2018. also i get 16 points for technical accuracy and i believe uh i mean i used a full range of appropriate sentences i use standard english i don't think i spelled anything wrong i had one actual misspelling instead of saying atmosphere i put atom sphere but that was just but that's clearly not like you don't know how to spell it yeah that was just yeah i know but i still think that's that's the only spelling mistake that i think that i made so i was going to give myself a a lower three for the technical accuracy low three out full i'm sorry lower four yeah yeah the technical i think i'll give myself a 13. i can't believe so you're saying i i'd probably be around a four a lower four i'm going to give myself a 19. well if you're comparing yourself against 16 year olds i know but i've looked at the example story the 16 year olds that were writing this level four where it's like the bidding of the text focuses our attention on echoes and his guide travis in a prehistoric jungle setting the reader together with the characters has traveled back in time initially the jungle appears natural and undisturbed but this changes all of a sudden with this word like that i can tell that that's like kids would have been told to write it like that like at the beginning the reader knows this who's gonna say culminating in his realization that he is out of his depth i went i'm out of my depth and i went down to three this was not an enjoyable experience for me i really liked doing the math but i did not enjoy doing this honestly i'm gonna give myself a lower four for the technical accuracy but a upper three for the content oh i didn't plan it but i've got enough going on there so i'm gonna give myself a 13 out of 16 for the technical and out of the 24 13 to 18 marks i'm gonna give myself 17 which means that it's 30 my total score is 9 16 22 52 how many marks were available 80 oh okay 52 out of 80. 65 is that good oh god i honestly i didn't study english in school makes me feel real dumb though thank you england well i did about as well as i thought i would in terms of comparing this to how the tests are in the u.s it really isn't much of a difference between an actual english exam in your english class for like 10th grade 11th grade english however we don't our tests are standardized our sat is just a multiple choice thing there is the writing segment which is comparable there is a picture prompt but no one really counts it doesn't really matter no college actually cares about the writing segment so this can be comparable to just taking your honors english class and you know trying your best in english was i good in english no math is my better subject abba i really enjoy other languages so maybe maybe that's the mathy part of me i don't actually know but if you took the gcse tell me how you did please tell me you did worse than me or maybe you're a genius does any of you actually get upper level four did you find out did they tell you how you did like do you get to see your reports because in the us you get to see all of your tests back you know how you did in the uk it seems that you just kind of get this mystery letter or number these days i don't actually know but anyway thank you for watching this video it's the sign off time if you enjoyed it it's a long one please be sure to give it a big thumbs up subscribe because subscribing is very important to my channel without it i will die anyway i will see you guys on the next one goodbye

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Views: 150,523

Rating: 4.946074 out of 5

Keywords: American takes English GCSE, American takes GCSE, GCSE, American, america, british, british vs american, evan edinger, evan, edinger, exam, school exams, tests, study, american vs british, exam help, edexcel, aqa, american takes british gcse, english language, creative reading, english language gcse, revision, gcse, gcse english

Id: Nd0XJBA47kI

Length: 52min 29sec (3149 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 11 2020