This is a legendary actor who for tonight only has
lifted his restraining order against us. Please welcome, Alan Alda. - [applause]
- [shouting] Alan! Alan Alda! - Hello.
- Hello... [both] Oooh, hello. [laughing] Alan... Alan, thank you, thank you for being
here for letting bygones be bygones. - Don't get too close.
- Alright, OK. That's true. [stammers] That by the way, there's a special
word there that we have for you tonight. Oh yes. You know, when you open up a Chobani
yogurt and there's that little bit of water? - Oh.
- This is all of those. - All of those. This is-this is Greek water.
- Yeah. [audience laughs] So it might default at some point,
but in the mean time... [laughing] You ever have a job, before
you were acting, did you have jobs? - Many.
- Day-to-day jobs? Yeah, I was a doorman and a cab driver. - You were a cab driver?
- Yeah, [stutters] for about three months, - until I got scared.
- Really? Did you ever drive anyone in your in
your cab that you later saw in life anyway? Yes, Jane Fonda, and then I made
a movie with her 15 years later. - Wow.
- Jane Fonda got into your cab. Yeah, and when I made
the movie she tipped me. Really? [laughter] But I didn't give you
enough that night she said. That's very-- She got in your cab and said,
"North Vietnam please." [laughing] You know, we went to the moon,
what, how many times? Seven times? - And then we just stopped.
- Yeah. Shouldn't we just
go to the moon again? Wouldn't that be a morale booster? Well, we're trying to go to Mars now. - Y-You think we can do it?
- No. [laughing] - No, no-- well we can get there.
- That's what I meant. We can get there and
open the door and go... [startled] [laughter] - Well, that's something.
- That is something. - That'd be a great live test.
- Yeah. You know there's a guy-- there's a private guy who wants to send people
know to Mars and he says I need people who don't mind dying. Yeah? Well, nobody minds dying.
We're all gonna die. - Wait, hold on. Spoiler alert.
- Hold on. [laughing] [Alan laughs] I actually decided once that I was
going to live to 106, and I stuck with it. Yeah. So far so good. But you know on my science program I
talked to longevity experts who said that we're going to live routinely to 250-- - Really?
- And here I say a 106. I shortchanged my self.
Now I'm stuck with it. Do you think they think that in the
near future we're gonna live 'till 250? - No.We'll be dead.
- Yeah. Boy, how is that gonna affect
when you get married? You'll be like look, I'm only 90. - I can't...
- [laughing] I can't tie myself down yet we're
going to be married for a 140 years. - Yeah.
- Can you imagine if you got married at 30, and then you were the
generation that lived to 220? [laughing] - You've been married 60 years.
- In March it will be 60 years. - Wow. Congratulations.
- Yes. - Do you believe in God?
- No. - Alan, do you believe in God?
- No. Why not? - I don't think he believes in me.
- Yeah. - Well, what about the earthquakes?
- Yeah that's true. - And the floods?
- That's God farting. That's God with a
urinary tract infection. - [laughing]
- Those seem to be proof of God. What if you met God
and he's this huge Mash fan? - You'll feel terrible.
- Oh, I'll say that was fake. [laughing] Then I would say to God call,
"So call me Fischer." [laughing] And did your wife's parents like you? Very much and I loved them. - Yeah.
- Love-lovely people. - Were they Jewish?
- Yeah. - Nice.
- Totally. - Yeah.
- They were totally Jewish? Yeah. And, and I think I'm Jewish. - Yes. So does everybody else.
- [laughing] But here's why I think I'm Jewish. My Italian grandfather told me-- - What was his name?
- Anthony. - Anthony Goldberg.
- [laughter] And you know, I said, "That's a clue." [laughing] Anthony D'Abruzzo.
That's my name. Alphonso D'Abruzzo. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So, he says, "The family came from Spain around 1492." - That's when the Jews were expelled.
- Converso. - Yes. Yeah.
- And our name is D'Abruzzo from-- named after the region. If you're named after a region,
it's twice as likely you're Jewish. Right.'Cause they're like,
"What's your last name?" And you're like, "Uh... New Jersey." [laughing] - The wonderful Alan Alda.
- Are you choking? You good? You want some water? [applauding] Are you okay? [coughing] Oh my God. - On stage the way I wanted to go.
- [laughing] - Ah, you tricked us.
- You [bleep] tricked us. [applauding] Alan Alda!
In their WTF with Marc Maron appearance they mentioned that getting Alan Alda on the show would be the ultimate dream. Very happy for them both!
Wow he actually gets Kroll to break character
When I was a wee lad my parents were huge Alan Alda fans. He might be the first actor I was ever aware of. Seeing him old, but still looking sorta the same, makes me realize I'm old.
John and Nick almost look like kids how excited they are to be interacting with Alda. Who I believe was one of the inspirations for the show
Is there an unedited version somewhere?