[Ben] Hey, brother! J, I have been listening to a lot of "Aladdin" music lately, and there is one line that has been standing out to me and is making me question the rest of the movie. After Aladdin is chased through the streets of Agrabah, he says, [Movie scene] "Riff raff, street rat, I don't buy that." [Ben] What do you mean you don't buy that? You don't buy anything! How did you end up the hero of this movie? J, today we are going to discuss how "Aladdin" makes no sense. (Intro music) [J and Ben] Hey, brother! [Ben] Now, before we get into "Aladdin," let's first start with Jafar who must have one of the worst plans ever. Except... for maybe Voldemort, who I am fairly certain planned the wedding that I worked over this past weekend. Always— no, NEVER hire Voldemort to plan your wedding! Although if you happen to be watching and we're in the wedding that I worked over this past weekend, and assumed that everything just went swimmingly, well, you're welcome. Jafar's "plan" at the beginning of the movie is to secure both halves of a golden scarab, and then send somebody else into the Cave of Wonders to retrieve the lamp, so that he can wish to be Sultan. And OK, so he secures the scarab easily enough... somehow, but then immediately trusts the guy who stole the other half and had to like, slit some throats to do so? [Movie scene] "I had to slit a few throats." [Ben] This is supposed to be a kid's movie, right? But, either way, so, he trusts the guy to go into the Cave of Wonders and steal the even more valuable item for him. Why would you trust anyone else but yourself with this task? Perhaps he suspected that there was a secondary requirement in that the cave would eat him. Fortunately for Jafar, the Cave of Wonder actually tells him what the other requirement is; That only a diamond in the rough can enter. Here's the problem with that, though. Presumably, the "diamond in the rough" rule exists so that the only person who can enter is worthy. But if that's true, then why are you telling people who you know not to be worthy how to do it? The cave is just full of issues. For one, it says that only one may enter, and yet, it lets Aladdin enter with Abu. I mean no biggie, right? I mean, maybe the cave just doesn't count animals, but, here's the thing. Jafar is standing right there, watching them both go in. He knows what happens if you break the cave's rules and doesn't stop them, suggesting that he must know that animals are somehow allowed to go in. So, if that's the case, why doesn't he just send Iago in to get the thing for him? And why does he keep trusting other criminals to go get the super valuable thing? I will come back to that, but for now, let's just continue on with the hypocrisy of this cave. It says clearly... [Movie scene] "Touch nothing but the lamp." [Ben] Apparently, what he really means is touch nothing but the lamp... and carpet? I mean just look at this. Clearly standing on the carpet while in the process of telling Abu to touch nothing! Yes, yes. Maybe because the carpet is sentient, it doesn't totally count, but Aladdin doesn't know that! And I mean, sure. Maybe if the whole pathway was covered in carpet, you have to walk on something, but there's just the one rug! And, if you think rugs aren't treasure, you should go shopping for rugs. They are very expensive. And most of those can't even fly! Also, if the cave says only one can enter, but then clearly allows two, maybe it just means that the rules don't apply to Abu. But then, how come they all of a sudden apply to Abu when he touches the giant ruby? And why is there even this like, "Don't touch anything" rule if Aladdin is already the chosen one? Like, shouldn't the rule just exist to weed out anyone who isn't worthy? Like, anyone can enter, but only the chosen one will be able to resist. Even the consequences for breaking the rules seem a little odd and inconsistent. When someone who is not the chosen one takes a single step in, this is what happens. *growl* But then, when the chosen one's monkey touches a ruby as far into the cave as you can possibly go, It takes this entire action sequence for it to shut its mouth. Like, no doubt, that's an impressive lava tidal wave defense system you've got going on there, but if you just shut your mouth he also can't get out! Side note; Does the cave have a pierced ear? Where do you think he got that done? Honestly, who knows? But moving past the cave and back to Jafar, before he can even get Aladdin into the cave he has to figure out who even is... [Movie scene] "...the diamond in the rough." [Ben] Which involves a weird combination of what looks like a a treadmill, magic, and a diamond that the Sultan just so happened to actually own. Seriously, how lucky is he that the Sultan just so happened to own that diamond? The answer is varied, but it doesn't even matter. Jafar's whole goal is to be Sultan and look what he does to convince the Sultan to let him use the diamond He hypnotizes him and just makes him do it with his crazy snake staff thing! Do you see where I'm going with this? He can already make the Sultan do whatever he wants! I feel like I need to calm down. Jafar is effectively already the Sultan. Except, even better, he doesn't even have to bear any of the blame if he can just make the Sultan do whatever he wants him to. But whatever, I guess he just wants the title badly enough that he just continues on with his plan, which upon inevitably failing, he recovers from with such ease and formulates a new plan that you wonder why it wasn't the new old plan to begin with. The new plan is just make up a law and force the Sultan to make Jasmine marry you. He comes up with, and I'm going to read this because it is so convoluted, "Track down two halves of a rare golden scarab, join them together, follow them into the desert to a cave that maybe exists, hunt down the one person on Earth who can enter the cave which will involve the use of a particular diamond, (sped up, high pitched) then, force that guy to go into the cave, and then, steal away from him, and then, wish himself Sultan." You already have a magic staff, dude. Just use it! And not that it matters, but part two of the new plan is kill Jasmine, which would have been a great original plan because it would have ensured that she couldn't have married anyone else, you know, because she'd be dead. And I only bring it up because earlier in the movie, Jasmine runs away with no intent of returning and then, Jafar sees it in his weird hourglass thing, and instead of just killing her then or letting her just run away, he sends guards out to bring her and Aladdin back to the palace. That would have solved one of your problems, dude! But, even still, that brings us back to Aladdin. Why is he the diamond in the rough? Like, I get it. He's a nice guy who is also poor, but he is also a total thief! Like, the guards in the beginning are painted as real jerks, but Aladdin is stealing. Sure, he gives half of his loaf of bread to some starving children, who... ...do really look like they could use it. Man, Aladdin really is a great guy. Maybe, he's just— —No, no, no! I see how this worked on me the first time. On the day-to-day, he is robbing from honest businesses. And not in like a "Robin Hood" steal-from-the-rich-give-to-the-poor kind of way, he is stealing from street vendors who I am sure are not super rich themselves, and then just eating the food himself... with his pet monkey. Although, he does save those same kids from Prince Ahmed's whip and Jasmine from the Apple vendor. So, it's not like he's a bad guy. But he is undeniably a thief, and his entire plan to get Jasmine is basically to lie to her. Fun fact, by the way; every time he lies to Jasmine the big purple feather on his head falls on his face. My point is even with a few good deeds under your belt, surely, there is someone else more qualified to be the diamond in the rough. I think I just kind of struggled to see why Aladdin doesn't have a job. I think at one point, he says that he just wants to live in a palace with no problems. But is his goal to steal his way there? Now, I understand that could be a slightly ignorant view of homelessness, and why those people may not have jobs, but I feel like Aladdin's whole thing is his resourcefulness in charismatic nature. Like, those are his key traits. He has the ambition and seems cunning enough to own his own business or at the very least be a salesperson for one of the other vendors, right? But either way, I guess Jasmine likes him, so it all works out. Too bad he's not a prince. Well, I guess he is, but then he isn't again, even though he wished to be prince. [Movie scene] "I wish for you to make me a prince." [Ben] And that wasn't something he wasn't allowed to wish for, right? [Movie scene] "I can't kill anybody." "I can't make anybody fall in love." "I can't bring people back from the dead." [Ben] Isn't that central driving force behind Jafar's entire plan? Get the lamp, wish to be Sultan. It works for him. How come Aladdin isn't actually a prince, now? Yes, it is super confusing what is happening, here. At the beginning of the movie, Jasmine's father who is the Sultan is making her get married. Jasmine's upset, but he is stubborn saying it's the law and that she must marry a prince before her birthday in 3 days. So, yeah. For someone who has never left the palace and actually has nothing to do all day, she has really procrastinated on this one. And like, never left the palace, how does she not know that you're supposed to pay for an apple? [Movie scene] "I don't have any money." [Ben] Miraculously though, Jasmine manages to meet someone that she does actually like, but alas, he is not a prince. Fortunately, Aladdin finds a magic lamp with a genie and wishes to be a prince. Problem solved, right? Somehow, no. Jasmine figures out that Prince Ali used to be Aladdin. But, so what? Still a prince, right? I would think so, but then, later Jafar like, re-reveals that Aladdin is just Aladdin by zapping him into his old clothes? But that shouldn't make him not a prince, like, it was still his wish. Just changing his clothes and revealing his true identity doesn't take that away, I don't think. But then, after Jafar is defeated, this issue of him not being a prince is a problem. How? Genie even says... [Movie scene] "Just say the word, and you're a prince again." [Ben] "Again?" When—when was he not and what's—what's gonna make it work this time? But then, the Sultan just decides that it doesn't matter after all, and what was the point of everything to begin with? And if he wasn't a prince, does that mean that Aladdin has one additional wish that the Genie never granted? Actually, we made an entire video talking about exactly that. You can check it out by clicking the card. Also, also, if we're just going to assume that Aladdin has to use his last wish to become a prince again, why are we pretending like Jasmine isn't standing right there, capable of making her own wishes? Just hand her the lamp! Now, I just can't help but imagine Jasmine saying it like this, She can just say, "I wish Aladdin was a prince again," and maybe, "I wish that Jafar in his lamp were gone forever." And then, maybe even for like, a full-length shirt, or pants with pockets. And then, with her new fancy pants, she can hand the lamp back to Aladdin, who can wish for the Genie to be free. Seriously though, the Sultan's newfound ability to just like, change and reshape the law basically makes the entire movie pointless. Who really cares, though? It was a good time, all the same. J, my question for you and everyone else is, what would you wish for if you had your own genie? Be sure to leave your thoughts in the Towel Section down below. Also, guys, in case you didn't know, we have lots of cool Super Carlin Brothers merch available at dftba.com, including a little sticker version of me, just like this guy. But guys, as always, Thanks for watching. Be sure to like this video and subscribe to the channel if you haven't already. If you'd like some more Disney action from us, you can click right here to see how the Genie still owes Aladdin a wish, or right here to see our Top 5 Snubbed Disney Princesses. But J, that's all I've got for you today, man. I will see you on Tuesday.
