Ajahn Amaro | 11 December 2017

I'm very happy to be back here at the Nibbana de maraca Center and to be able to spend this evening with all of you a few of you were here this morning when there was a meal offering that was made and others of you I'm seeing meeting for the first time tonight one of the questions that often comes up particularly in trying to practice according to the Buddhist teachings and especially in an urban environment where people are very much engaged with livelihood and life is quite fast paced and and active that the the teachings on non-attachment can be quite hard to understand go to to figure out how does that work together with running a business or raising a family or or indeed developing a buddhist center or following the buddhist path how how do the qualities of non-attachment fit together with a lot of activity with a lot of engagement and the process of living in family in the pursuing of working life and academic life or dealing with the many various issues and complications that come with modern-day existence before I continue can people here can people hear me clearly enough everything's okay I see you got a very comprehensive sound system here as long as everyone can hear that's the main thing so this is a is this an area that's useful interesting to talk about just to check you know cuz I don't know most of you yeah now when we study Buddhist teachings and or when we read Dumber books or listen to talks then we read that the the goal of Buddhist life is Nibbana peacefulness and then we also read that desire is the cause of all suffering so that in order to arrive at Nibbana not just the new Barnett Center I mean by now with a really really big end of the front the real Nirvana then people say well I have to let go of all desires you know desire is the cause of suffering so if I want to realize new Barna then all desires have to go right that's what we we cannot understand the teachings in that way for then it can be puzzling and confusing because surely we have to function in the world we have to do things we have a job to to go to or we run a business or we have a family to raise we have responsibilities that the world is say expecting of us so all those activities and those responsibilities are they somehow intruding upon our peacefulness so they somehow automatically an obstruction to the path and that how can you raise a family or run a business or buddhist center without having without giving your life a certain direction you must have had a desire to have a buddhist center before the buddhist center appeared right so his desire always a bad thing so this is this is the question so there was an encounter between a brahman called inaba and the venerable ananda this took place in Kosambi back in the in the buddhist time and the the brahman Inaba asked venerable ananda they met together in the the Oh Sita Rama the in casitas Park which is in those days it was I think the very first of them Buddhist monasteries it was actually inside a town in the casitas park in Kosambi and whenever asked a venerable Ananda venerable sir is it the is it the case that the the Buddha's teaching is that in order to to fulfill the path in order to follow the path to its completion that it is necessary for us to abandon desire and then what nanda says yes that's exactly correct in order for the the path to be followed to its completion then desire needs to be abandoned and so then he says to Inaba something along the lines of how the there was a novice as well but surely you know how can the the path be followed to abandon desire but you must want to follow the path in the first place so you're saying that you have to use desire to arrive at the end of desire but that's that they can't be they can't be true that doesn't make sense it's it's circular it doesn't how can you how can you use desire to get to the end of desire doesn't make sense and they said this is a circular argument it's it's interminable not terminable do you so fancy English words it is circular you can't know that there can't be right so then the venerable ananda gives us very good explanation and he talks about these very important principles called the eddy pada so these are what are called the four bases of success so in order to to succeed at anything whether it's succeeding at realising Nirvana and completely ending all suffering or whether it's succeeding at opening a Buddha Center succeeding and running a company or raising your children or indeed there's success at robbing a bank yeah if there's wholesome and wholesome or neutral its it it all works in the same way and venerable Ananda explains to the naba that um but with the using the example of getting to the park he said so Solon Arbor and before you came to the casita the casita Rama today did you have the thought I'd like to go to the park yes I did and then having arrived here at the park what happened to that thought is that there's that thought still meaningful as it is it still relevant he said well no it's not because I've arrived at the park so I don't even have to have the wish to to get to the park because I'm already here and an under said so exactly you had to have the desire to get here but once you've arrived then the desire falls away and that that was a necessary part of arriving here so then having had that thought I'd like to go to the park did you then arouse the energy to get up from your home and and start to start walking yes time traveling here so yes I did so that then you applied energy you're following that thought that interests that desire then you applied energy and then did you have to think now what's the the quickest way to get to the park what's the best way to get to the Caesar Amundson yes I did and so that you needed to be interested you had to have the desire to come here you had to apply energy you had to think about where is the park in relationship to my home and then now that you've arrived at the park are you aware that I have arrived at the NGO Sita Rama yes of course I'm fully aware that I've already arrived it yes so then having followed those first three the interest the applying energy applying consideration then you have the quality of reviewing you recognize the results of your actions are there yes indeed you've arrived at the GoSee dorama so yeah you you needed desire to get here but then having a achieved that result then the the desire has been has been fulfilled as it's achieved its results and that kind of desire as you'll notice doesn't have to cause any kind of suffering it does not cause any kind of stress or difficulty or dissatisfaction in the heart so then the discussion goes on a bit longer but eventually your novices this is wonderful this is marvelous venerable sir you explain things very very clearly because I had misunderstood the teaching and so the way you put it talking about these four qualities that makes perfect sense in terms of how we can use desire in order to arrive and the ending of desire at the ending of craving so that to explain that little more what we have in the party language is two different words for desire so the kind of desire that you used to get to the park or to a Buddhist center or to train your mind in meditation ideally is the quality of chunder in English that spelled CH a and D H under so that is a necessary condition to do anything to earn your business to raise a family to the Buddha Center to train your mind in meditation or to rob a bank you need to be interested so that's a Chanda means interest or zeal enthusiasm or desire so it's that the one the the mind can use as the directing impulse steering mind in a particular direction I want to go to the park I want to open a Buddhist Center let's call it the Nirvana da maraca Center and so on so in terms of how we relate to non-attachment and how we we go about living our lives and carrying out our work or training our minds in meditation it's helpful to understand that if the desiring is free of ignorance is free of self view is free of green hatred and delusion and that desiring is a quality of chunder as undistorted by self-centered thinking then that kind of desire does not cause suffering that's not the kind of desire that the causes dukkha the kind of desire that's the troublemaker the one that is mentioned in the Four Noble Truths is the cause of dissatisfaction the cause of suffering is tongue harm so tan ha literally means thirst so there's just as you're thirsty you know you really need a drink of water there's a kind of desperation I'm thirsty I'm thirsty like if you've gone unnoticed around Singapore a lot of people go running through the parks and through the walkways and lots of maybe many of you are out there running so when you run for a long time you get thirsty thirsty so when you're thirsty there's a kind of desperation like I need a drink I'm thirsty so that with tun ha that kind of desire probably the English word craving is better than desire because the English word craving and I think most of you are very well acquainted with English here in Singapore this is really convenient means I don't have to be translated so craving you can't really crave for enlightenment you can't really crave to raise your family you know it's a the the word tan ha generally has a sort of self-centered agitated tense quality to it so craving is is a good way of representing tan ha and that's the kind of desire that is the cause of suffering because it's always got a self-centered element within them so this I feel is a very helpful principles to understand because after that as I said when we we listen to Dharma teachings in assisting in let go of all desire or that you want to make your mind peaceful then we assume that peace means or we can assume that peace means trying to do nothing or trying to feel nothing alright sometimes the the meditation is put across in that way you know and many of us who have overactive thinking Minds we can have the feeling if only this would just shut up if only my thoughts would just stop then I would be happy if only I could just not feel anything or not hear anything not not not think anything that would be peaceful but as a young child find out they he would indicate the forest chickens in then around the his cootie and what what policy these chickens stand do a lot of thinking you know they can sit on the nest not move for days it doesn't mean they got Samadhi and it doesn't mean that they've realized Nibbana yeah they don't they don't have a lot of mental activity but they're not particularly wise oh yeah they say oh you know the the the bricks that make up this pillar or the concrete slab in the concrete doesn't do a lot of thinking but it is not liberated so that it's a mistake to think that Buddhist meditation is just about not having any emotions or not feeling anything lost or dissociating the mind from the senses or to just stop thinking you know if if Nibbana was a simple as just making the mine stock thinking then Buddhists will be taking barbiturates yeah the kind of drugs that just stop you from thinking it doesn't work it makes you it makes it might slow the thinking down but it just makes you very very stupid and though numb so the piece of Nibbana and the piece that the Buddhist practices aimed towards is not just a switching off of the senses it's not a piece of numbness it's not just trying to say to not feel anything like over the weekend that was giving it a couple of days workshop on death and dying and at the peril I for this temple probably a few of you with that I can recognize a few faces so that the often times people assume and then I give a lot of advice to people people come and ask questions to me all the time but my monastery and they had Amravati and they literally will say things like oh my my mother died two months ago and I still feel really sad you know I'm really I really feel I'm not practicing properly you know because if I if I really had my practice together you know I would have I would have got over it by now I wouldn't be feeling anything and he said I don't think so you know your mother's died so it's natural to feel grief to feel sadness and that but the way that they listened to the teachers when they've read Dahmer books over the years with great sincerity they've taken up the idea that if I was practicing properly I wouldn't feel any emotions I wouldn't I wouldn't get carried away with the sadness or with excitement or its to fear or something of that nature but rather if I really had my practice together I would never experience any kind of emotions and I was suggests that's really a wrong understanding because in Buddhist practice is not trying to nullify I can just switch off our senses or switch off feelings and thoughts but rather to establish right view right understanding and to be able to know our thoughts and to know our emotions and our whole human system in a clear way in an undiluted way and so that it's rather than trying to say switch off our senses and to make ourselves the minds are disconnected from that rather when we talk about non-attachment it's it's to do with the way that the mind holds those feelings away that it holds those of those thoughts because if you think if you consider it the Buddha if you take him as our example he did a lot of thinking he did he took a lot of initiative he traveled around Bihar and Uttar Pradesh for 45 years teaching people he founded the Sangha he established the 84,000 sections of Dhamma teachings he established the whole vinaya discipline he was extraordinarily creative in his teachings he had an amazing imagination and incredible use of language and ideas and it was a very very active and involved in establishing the community of monks of nuns of teaching the laypeople establishing different monasteries all over India and the and the the institution of the Sangha that he said in in place of this is the longest-lasting a human group still functioning under its original system yeah not to be boasting but yeah the just here taking the refuges and the precepts yeah this is this goes back 2,500 years in exactly the same wording that that you all use and so that this is a no small feat you know that the Buddha thought that through he established that he can see ways to teach and structures to establish to help the teaching to survive over time in different countries different living situations so if the Buddha who's totally enlightened and incapable of suffering is thinking is using his imagination he is a traveling barefoot around northeast India for forty five years he was very engaged he was very involved it is a lot of decision-making he he spoke to people he listened to people he saw different you know different ways to establish different monasteries and different ways to teach different people different times so if we take the Buddha as our example he was at he was not it's just so numb and dissociated he wasn't just switching off his thinking faculty but Radha with his heart freed from greed hatred and delusion he was able to do some really clear thinking he was able to make decisions that were really well based upon the time the place the situation and the people that he was with there was a quality of achievement so if we think that peace is just the noise of the city and being switched off or the the the neighbors being quiet and having the children be quiet having the the air conditioners even quieter than they are already just to get some peace that the you can try really really hard to stop the world from being annoying but even then no matter how hard you try to sort of get the world to you know it sense be quiet or be still or to not disturb us still we can be disturbed if you're thinking I've only I my thoughts would stop and I'd be happy if only I didn't have to deal with all these people yeah in the workplace or my family you know sometimes even in a monastery people yeah various members of the Sangha think if I think we didn't have all these people we could run a decent monastery here they'll show you occasionally that here at the Nibbana da maraca center like this we could run a really good Buddhist Center if it only wasn't for all these people and their personalities there are their opinions now I'm not reading anybody's mind this is not psychic power this is statistics that's the way I like to put it just this is the way we are as as human beings so the the quality of peace is not so much in trying to make the world go quiet but in the attitude that we have towards the world towards our thoughts our feelings what we see hear smell taste and touch many many years ago when Arjun Shah first came to visit England the community had a small monastery little temple on a busy street in London as I called the Hampstead vihara was on have a stock Hill those of you who've been to London it's near the Royal Free Hospital just up the hill from the Royal Free Hospital to side Hampstead Heath and this is a very big event you know the group was very excited that action charm had come to visit and he's a famous teacher so that lots of people came along and the the meditation room was probably about a tenth of the size of this was a very small little room in a in an English town house so everyone was squished in together and it was a lot noisier than here so that particularly evening it was a very rare occasion which was a hot English summer night those don't happen very often so and so and the they wanted to have the windows open so people could breathe because it was very kind of hot and steamy everyone was squished in together but right across the road from the vihara was the Haverstock Arms pub and so probably a few of you have read stories of this in Olympus Tomatoes Dhamma talks so what happened was they had the windows open well then there's this loud rock music playing in the pub and so they're all sitting there and agent Charles sitting quietly in front of the shrine unmoving and then the the sound of the rock music is compounding through the windows so then the the there's a sort of mother mother mother shuffle shuffle shuffle as the the organizers of the evening and we do what should we do okay well close the windows so then it's the sound of the windows closing and then the music is quieter and then the temperature gets warmer and the whole time chalice just sitting there and then pensive then the room gets hotter and hotter and hotter and then we're all gonna keel over and limp was not ringing the bell so okay so for the widow again so they can all breathe the music gets louder again and then the positiv sitting there and he sat there for an hour and a half so in 90 minutes and there's a throughout this whole time the windows opening with his closing Joe Beimel is closing and then the english of course we love to apologize you know often the way we we we greet each other is to say I'm sorry you know we can't that's our basic relationship to the world is to apologize for existing please excuse me please excuse me because I must be bothering you so please excuse me well they don't usually make actually button yes excuse me because there's a crowded little island like Singapore's a crowded little island so you assume that you're you're likely to be impinging on somebody else's space so as soon as he rang the bell after about an hour and a half then of course people started apologize I'm terribly sorry territory this is most unfortunate most unfortunately yeah they've tried to go over to the road to tell them to turn the music down I said go get lost so where nitrogen Charles started speaking then he said you think the sound is annoying you but actually it's you that is annoying the sound if you can follow man because the sound is just being what it is it's just the air vibrating and just doing what it does it's just sound but if there's if there's a problem it's only coming from one place from your mind so the your mind is making a making the argument with the sound the sound is just doing what it does so that is a very important teaching a really helpful piece of advice because it's telling us that piece it depends upon our attitude everything hinges upon our attitude our right understanding so when you can obviously you know you have monasteries in quiet places of wonderfully peaceful spot for the middle of Singapore so well done in choosing your vocation amazingly quiet so you do choose to have a meditation place in in quiet places if you can but if you are trying to find the perfect place where you will never be bothered it'll be a long search and again there's local char wood but put it say you know you're looking for a turtle with a moustache if you have that expression in this part of the world as well in the entire North East Highlanders it's like where you're looking for a rabbit with horns you're looking for something that doesn't exist and when when he on other occasions when he when he first used that phrase when I Jensen later was translating for him he thought Bauer got annoyed what he couldn't understand they said turtle Wow yeah turtle but yeah it says he says you're looking for a turtle with a moustache so I'm not quite sure what he means by that but that's what he said and then Lumpur explained well what I mean is that if you're looking for something that doesn't exist so to look for a place in the world well you will never be bothered you won't find it because you will be there the bothering agent will be there with you and that was 40 years ago I was lost in Singapore 40 years ago 1977 and so I had this this sort of very idealistic youthful vision that I would finished my university degree and then go off to the Far East and seek the truth and you leave all my troubles behind me and I obviously I didn't think things through very carefully because my troubles got on the plane with me and I just assumed I would just go to a different country the environment and have two parts anymore exams were free agent didn't have to work didn't have any very much money but that wasn't too much of an obstacle but to my surprise my mind came with me on the plane and I felt very stupid because part of me was surprised like I thought I was going to leave all this behind there were my kind of anxieties and my feelings of discomfort and worry and one kind of difficulties with with the world and with my mind that why did I assume that was gonna all stay behind in England and just and I wouldn't bring any of that with me what was I thinking but that didn't really hit me until a few months later but when I was here in Singapore in random at the same time about November October November of 1977 I was still being surprised that my mind had come with me so I'm not saying that we can't find places that are conducive or helpful but if you are looking for the perfect house where you'll be utterly comfortable you're looking for the perfect retreat center the perfect monastery where nothing will ever bother you where they have no mosquitoes and exactly the kind of food that you like and exactly the right kind of time of day that you like and the as John gives Dhamma talks it was just the right length that are really informative and inspiring and not bad but he's not trying too hard to be to inspire you but he's still inspiring I just say you're looking for a turtle with a moustache because it's impossibly you'll never find a place that is permanently pleasing because sabe is Sankara do car all conditions are unsatisfactory that something will be delightful and pleasing and perfectly yes this is it finally everything is just right and then you fall over and break your ankle you never knew you realize it was perfect for then the follow you break your ankle or the antrum moves away and starts a branch monastery you know thousand miles often other end of the country and so that they all you have is the memory of how perfect it was last month it was so good before but now yeah yeah my ankle is bothering me and the ions gone away and but it was great it was really great it was perfect so then that perfection becomes a cause of disappointment and becomes a kind of innocence even more heartbreaking because he you you had that perfect taste you took your friend to that restaurants and it was absolutely wonderful everyone had a great time the food was fantastic it's never been quite as good ever again so again I'm not reading anybody's minds this is just statistics you know this is how we are as human beings so that when we think about peace and non-attachment then that is ready to do with the attitude that we have and the more that we can work with and give direction to our life based on these IDI pada the four bases of success then this is a very helpful principle so it's not a matter of thinking that I'll I can't run a business because that's getting in the way of my Dumber practice or I can't raise a family it's getting in the way of my Dhamma practice or I can't be the abbot of a big monastery because it's getting in the way at my time of residence you know I've you know I've never been married but I have about 30 children in my monastery actually thirty five monks and nuns that live at Amravati monastery so they're my kids so any of you got 35 children so I know they're quite well behaved mostly but I do have opinions and feelings preferences so that the the structure of the for any part of the four bases of success if we take that as a format then we don't need to be afraid of say having initiative I think it's a really good idea to start a new tire company or a new software company or to open up a new clinic or whatever you might do all to open up a new strand of research having initiative and wanting to do to do that that's not in the way of your dumb practice necessarily if that the motivation is based on chundan is based on a wholesome intention and something that is basically grounded in benefit for yourself and others it's in tune with someone and then similarly if then you apply the energy you engage with an activity in a way that's in tune with dumber you think it through you consider that what are the the protocols that you know you need to put in place what are the things that are gonna make this work you want to start it put a center or clinic or publish a book or whatever you consider okay it's as wholesome as an unwholesome what will I have to do in order to to make this work so if it your intention is something unwholesome like robbing a bank when you get to the this room you know the consideration part you're gonna have to realize well actually that's technically against the law robbing banks the banks don't like that and I'll get locked up in jail so this doesn't really accord with sealer so if I if I do this this is gonna end up creating more suffering and paying for myself or others so it's best not to do it to leave it alone so that that third of these for any parties is particularly significant because it's not just a matter of the practicalities of how we're going to make this work but how is this going to benefit the world what if impact is going to have on me and on my family yeah is this something that is really worth doing or is this gonna take a lot take up a lot of my time my energy and have I got other priorities like if I want to start this new company does that mean I won't see my kids for the next five years that's a dad hello remember us you know we're your children yeah well my name and I'm kind of joking my kind of not joking because and I lived in California for a long time and yeah one of the most common issues there was that the people in the Buddhist groups and people involved with the monastery and buddhist centers they're often they're very very good-hearted people but they would end up particularly when their children got into their teens that have a lot of struggle in the family because mum and dad was so busy saving the world and putting the energy into all sorts of very very noble causes you know ecological preservation homeless people on the streets or social justice all very good causes but so wrapped up in their good causes that they kind of hi dad well you remember me but you ended up having in two or three angry teenage children who want nothing to do with Buddhism nothing to do with meditation nothing to do with anything spiritual because that was the bad stuff that took you know the took mom away for 15 hours every day and so I grow growing and growing up without a mother because she's so busy rescuing the world so that they we have to consider our priorities and what are the things that are involved so this and I'll talk a little bit more about that in in due course but that aspect of how we how we make decisions how we to choose how we choose to do what we want to do that's a very significant area but we can use our ability to think and to look at how how life works to recognize patterns in the world we're in within ourselves that's where skillful thinking what's called wise reflection or nice o manasa Cara is as extremely helpful it helps us to think that through an example again of when I was in the San Francisco Bay Area there was a ice to the monastery in California though we establishes about two and a half hours drive north in Redwood Valley any of you know Northern California's mint in the middle of Mendocino County so about two and a half hours drive north from San Francisco so once a month we come down they give a talk at this actually a Chinese Wall Street a branch of city of 10,000 buddhas on cochon in berkeley maybe a few of you know the place and they would give a talk there once a month and then because it's so far away from Ana's she had to stay overnight and then go back the next day and so after maybe invited to have a meal at one of the restaurants in the Bay Area so I used to often visit this Thai restaurant in San Francisco and one day this Thai woman came along and asked to have a chat with me and she said I got something I want to kind of confess and kind of talk through with you and get your reflections on that's what I get you know have your perspective on whether I did the right thing or the wrong thing or how I should have worked things and so this is this had a very it's a very interesting story that she told them and they're really stuck in my mind because she was a single parent and her son was about that that age of male age so about eight or nine and he was really good at mathematics and so they lived together in a small apartment and so he liked to do mathematics and he was really good and so his mum would go through the bookkeeping she was a bookkeeper for an estate agent a realtor in the Bay Area and so she would go through the bookkeeping with him and so show him how that all the books were worked and how to do all the the the calculations and they kind of race each other - who'd been out of the column of seekers quickest and Macarthy so she said what happened was that tried not to make it too complicated so she was in the office one day and this client came in and said I've got this property as commercial property and I need to sell it really fast like he's got to go within 48 hours because I have to raise the cash and I got a you know leave the country and so I don't care what you sell it for but it's got to go and she said well the you know might possibly go for as much as 400,000 but I can definitely get 250,000 for it but you know leave it with me and I'll let you I'll let you know we can do this so thank you thank you thank you it's got to go really fast really fast okay you got that she is five times man so then she received that property she took on the contract half an hour later somebody came in and said I'm looking for a commercial property and it needs to be in this part of town and money no object here whatever it costs it just needs to be in this area and needs to be this kind of a building and she said well I'd might be able to help you and it was exactly the part of town that the the the building that she just received was and so he said oh great Gregor that's exactly the location that's just the kind of building four storeys commercial property crates great so so what are you asking for it and she said four hundred thousand and and he's only four hundred is very low price said well at the bottom end but you know we might need to set it for four or five the seller might go down as low as four but it'll probably be about five or great fine just five hundred thousand fantastic fantastic so put my name on it I want to commit to that this is great this is great this is just what I was looking for thank you you saved my life and then they went so then she thought hmm I'm the only one who knows about this this all happened very quickly I'm the only one who knows that the seller was prepared to go as low as 250 and the buyer is prepared to happily pay five hundred I am the bookkeeper hmm and so she said what I did was I was I realized I was extremely tempted and very quickly I realized I could just tell the seller one thing tell the buyer another thing and keep two hundred fifty thousand dollars thank you very much and I'm looking after the books so only I would know and so I had a very difficult couple of hours between when this all when this all happened and then she said but I realized that I couldn't do it and so then I went home and I had a sit-down with my son again nine-year-old son and said that I need to tell you something and she walked through the whole of conversations that she'd had with him and said okay this is what the but this is what the seller was offering this isn't in here's the property this is what the this is what the buyer was saying and okay you got that you got that so so I could have just pocketed $250,000 and quote-unquote nobody would ever know but I didn't and I know with an extra $250,000 you could get a new apartment yeah you know you could have a bigger rom you could get that new bicycle you really wanted and and so so but I would I realized I couldn't do it and I shouldn't do it because and and the reason is because I care about you now why do you think that is and he said well I wouldn't like that bike yeah and that yeah it would be nice I would have liked to have the bicycle but I guess what you mean is that you would always worry about being caught because kind of like yeah you say nobody knows and nobody could know but yeah it doesn't always work that way and she said right because I would know and I you know I'm all you've got you know dad's gone and there's a few of me and if I get caught and then I've got and I'm off in jail and then you've lost me as well so who's gonna look after you and even if I didn't get caught I would still be carrying this around this fear that nots gonna come to the door and say uh mrs. Jenkins so we need to talk to you we see some inconsistencies in the books we need to discuss this and so she she kind of walked him through it and said so do you understand why it's because I love you that I chose not to pull that that fraud and to act in that way and he said yeah yeah I seen this that's good that's good so I don't get the bike they say well we'll talk about that but but anyway she said so what do you think was that was that a good thing to do was that a bad thing to do or how should I have handle it I said I think you are one of the world's greatest mothers so the kindest thing you could have done for your child because you really thought things through in a skillful way and you realize yeah the cash will be helpful but it will be poisoned it would be like this kind of bomb that you're carrying around in your bag that you're just waiting for it to go off so you would live in this state of tension so yeah the money would be there but there will be also a barrier between you and your son because you would also hope that he never found out and so that I think you did a fantastic job and I said so did you tell your employer about that she said actually I did and how did the the how did your employer respond he said well he gave me a bonus actually I forget it how much but the the fact that she was tempted and she sold her employer what had gone through her mind and the fact that she hadn't followed it and he said well done so maybe she had enough money to buy the bicycle but I felt that was a really good example of the skillful use of cela you know because we repeated the precepts you know Edina Donna I undertake the precept not to take anything that is not given but sometimes our minds can get a little bit kind of say economical with the honesty factor well one of the ways of the pretty famous statement made by one of the members of the British Parliament when he'd been caught out lying he said I wasn't lying I was merely being economical with the truth we're trying to turn lying into a virtue I've been economic all this wonder didn't want to throw too much truth around I think the place untidy so the sisters an example is to to be thinking things through the consequences that were actually thought that any or all of us would be so tempted towards criminal action but we get we get caught up with things you know we have an idea for a project or something that seems really interesting or we get swept up into situations and so a little bit of thought using our reflective capacity that we let's think about this what's gonna go with this you know if we put if we if we buy a house there how's it going to be for the transport okay if we do this and who's gonna look after mom and dad or how's this gonna work if I have another 300 employees you know how they're gonna take up my time so you think things through you you consider the the implications of your choices and then the last one the among sir is reviewing so these are chunda is interest or desire Varia is energy Cheeta in this instance means thinking things through and then the monster is reviewing it's like that okay did it work did we get to the park did we start our Buddhist Center did did the did my meditation lead to peacefulness charity or did it not what was the result of my practice and so that the the the monks are in a way is really important particularly in terms of meditation because we can we can get very say focused on a particular method or you're also with a project you get very wrapped up in producing a book or yes or publishing an academic paper you know you with your research and you get so focused on the task or on the method or the mechanics of it that there you get so focused on that you don't really pay much attention what the result is wearing ended up like okay you spent five years working on this PhD did anybody actually read it apart from your examiner's again I'm not I'm not that mean spying any on anybody's lives but yeah I know a number of people who spent years and years near is working on a thesis and realizing yeah there's three people on the planet who might possibly read this understand it and I spent how many years six seven years writing this thing why did I do that what was that for so the among sir within particularly in terms of meditation is very significant because we can be very focused on the method like I'm following the are John's instructions I was told you know this is the way you do mindfulness of breathing or this is the way you do the pisano or this is the way you do loving-kindness meditation so we can meet we can be very say obedient and faithful to the instructions of the teacher and not be paying too much attention on whether it's worked on us what the result is and so that yeah because we can be paying more attention I could have this is what the teacher said I should do what the teacher said I'm a good student keep going and I'm not really noticing well is this working or is this I call it loving-kindness but why do I get annoyed with people who interrupt me and but I'm trying to practice loving kindness meditation and I get really annoyed with the neighbors because I lose my place with my list of people I'm sending loving-kindness if it damn they make such a racket now where was I so that your loving-kindness meditation is producing more aversion so the monk sir is like well wait a minute wait wait wait wait what's wrong with this picture so so the when we establish our practice in our efforts in these four qualities Chandler Chandler very intuitive amongst these four phases of success and they also that can be a very helpful structure as for our running our lives and our families our businesses our different projects and activities that we carry out so the the the difference between that and just sort of being busy and stressed with your work is that when our efforts when our our work or our projects or activities are driven by self view whereas I I've got to succeed I can't fail I got this project it's got my name all over it I in I've got to I got to prove myself I've got to make a big profit I've got a I should I must all of that I'm making and mine making that the ego centered perspective then that will make even coming out of meditation retreat stressful like I've got to get my practice together I've been really lazy I've got to get my samajis you know really well founded I need to develop insight it's so it's not just about making money or making a reputation it can be making a your meditation if the if the habits of self of you suck i editi take hold of even what a noble or wholesome intentions then it'll produce a lot of suffering example I like to give is in meditation so that the we have so at the end of a meditation then when we hear this sound it doesn't just mean you're happy because you can move your legs you know release from from prison at last but if you notice for many people when the bell goes that there's a sense of relief of I don't have to bother doing the meditation anymore because me doing the meditation has become a thing that I have to be doing it that the there's habits of self you and grasping have taken hold of even meditation so it becomes a chore that I've got to do and so that people will will feel that our I don't I don't want to sit meditate I just want to just serve slouch on the sofa and relax but why is that the meditation is for the purpose of peacefulness how can this be slumped on the sofa the in in essence more relaxing than watching your mind there's something again what's wrong with that picture so that even meditation can be as a distorted by that by this unskillful thinking and so that the when our efforts in meditation can be freed of self view so that we are not driven by the desire to to become enlightened or to become concentrated or to get rid of your defilements or get rid of your distracted thoughts it's not just a so trying to become and trying to get rid of but rather we work with our minds based on the on the the for eddie pada we are interested to train your mind the apply effort to energy to train your mind you think about what sort of training of mine needs and how to do and then you look and see well did it work what am i arrived at then there's effort is being made direction is being given but it's not stressful it's not burdensome so that then when the bell rings you feel oh I was enjoying that wait you might also be relieved that your legs can be unwrapped but the it also has a big effect on the the whole attitude that we have towards meditation and mind training so when we look at the the making of efforts in this way also if yeah and we have a strong conditioning within our societies not just to here in Singapore all around the world in the West is very very strong as well they they you can call that thank God it's Friday that'll soon fire it's the weekend I'm really looking forward to retirement or I'm really looking forward to that holiday when when this is over because that is going to be much better when I don't have to bother either so that that thought wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to bother some people even talked about that in terms of arahant ship I really want to become an hour home then I went to bother to meditate you know this is a pretty weird thought I'm looking forward to our on ship so then I won't have to bother and as as if any kind of doing any kind of effort was intrinsically an intrusion on your peacefulness but that was the case why was the Buddha do walking meditation why would the Buddha practice mindfulness of breathing he practiced mindfulness of breathing because he enjoyed it he was a very pleasant abiding you know I think well why did he have to bother watching his breath it wasn't a bother he enjoyed it it was a present abiding place so that this is a strong conditioning that we have that sense of oh that any kind of doing any kind of choosing any kind of work is stressful but if we shift the attitudes so that the attitude is is essentially practicing right effort somehow ryomo somehow i amö rather than me who has to do this thing then the the doing of work whether it's the work of training your mind the work of going to the office or the work of looking after your family it is not stressful it's not burdensome and this is a really a key principle then people often ask me and yeah you're you know the abbot of this big monastery as I said I'm Revati monasteries about 35 monastics they're monks nuns novices about another 12 lay people that live there full-time usually have about 20 guests at any one time and then there's a retreat center which has 55 people on retreat at any one time so there's an average of 80 people or so staying overnight in amravati every night of the year and so there's the retreat center there's the the looking after the maintenance there's the nuns world as the office world as the kitchen world there's a library world there's the groundskeeping worlds lots of different worlds that overlap there and then I'm screwed on cause supposed to be in charge of everything yeah you're the boss so everyone says I charm what should we do about the mowing growing the grass our job what should we do about the kitchen the cook is getting too loud yeah the cook is making too much noise he's singing he's supposed to be running the kitchen although John we got it can we have a library meeting on Friday or we need to redevelop in a nun's area we need have a discussion I have this new building in the van's area so people look at them as they work hard you know you have so many things you have to do you have so many responsibilities yeah how had he is never very stressful isn't it really difficult so I feel extremely grateful that my teachers non-postal made a Lumpur char were very very spiritually accomplished people and very broad and profound skills in terms of mind training and dealing with people so I feel very very blessed in that respect and the the same kind of questions are asked of the possum a donut which are over many many years many times and one time somebody came to our gingerly just been for a there were the first time they visited Raipur pond his main monastery and and they were being shown around by one of the monks and I told that not only is that what belong but there's you know forty other branch monasteries around Thailand and a few overseas and so this person was kind of amazed of the said lumpur you know this is a huge place here about 40 or 50 monks and 60 or 70 nuns and yeah 30 or 40 branch monasteries and you have these building projects and you know you just you sit there and you receive people from 9:00 in the morning to at 10:00 at night midnight yeah endless flow of people come to ask you questions and you yeah how do you manage to look after it all you must be so so burden selves actually kind of chore so kind of stressful for you to have to look after all these people and all this stuff and all this these decisions that need to be made and they outside his scooty between his cootie and the main temple building at whop upon the opositor hall there are these old SEMA boundary stunts that from old monasteries are sort of being gathered there that just kind of arranged artistically in front of the appositive hall and the on post and you you see that that CMAs done there this is that big one they said yes do you think it's heavy so yeah it's huge it's like nearly two meters tall and since it's you know 30 40 centimeters thick it's huge yeah it's really heavy is it not if you don't pick it up [Music] so that as a teaching alko did these several dozen if not several hundreds of times now because I I take that very much as a guiding principle for life arathi as they yeah it's heavy if you pick it up if you don't pick it up you don't grasp it and make you I've got to make sure that everything is harmonious in the kitchen I've got to make sure that the cook never starts singing it gets too loud you know I know he's Spanish when those Latins are very emotional but not going to make sure the kitchen is well taken care of and the groundskeepers they're kind of arguing with each other so I could make sure that the the two groundskeepers are not kind of fighting together and then the nuns I've got to come to a decision about exactly how they want to build this new building and where to put it and what shape is going to be in and then the librarian he's Spanish too but it's a little bit cooler than the head cook but yeah yeah he's still got these these projects with a library that he wants me to be responsible for onion you know you pick it all office it's like if it's my responsibility to make you happy and if you're not happy it's my fault then it's going to be really stressful I'm sure that's running a bhootish center like this yeah it's exactly the same thing if if those of you who helped to run this place you I everybody who comes to the Nibbana da Muraki Center has to be happy pleased inspired comfortable totally at home but without attachment all the time and if they're not I'm doing something wrong if you have an attitude it's going to be a lot of suffering trying to run this place I would suggest another necessarily would that that that's gonna be the way it is if I if I it's held in all such a way that I am responsible for your happiness and what I do and your happiness depends on what I do I'm gonna suffer a lot because over the years and again I'm very grateful for the good advice I've had from from my teachers they that you realize that I can't make you happy only you can make you happy it's up to each one of us yeah and Cha would say you know you could be sitting face-to-face with the Buddha himself but if you're if you're filled with your own opinions your own views and attachments and desires and fears it's as if you have you know far away but you know if you see the Dhamma if you if you see the way things are and that you are even all by yourself off you know you know in a room alone or often I could see you're way off in the mountains it's as if you're sitting with the Buddha face-to-face so that I can do my best to create an environment or say things that can help you to make yourselves happy but I can't make you happy and the Buddha he said that repeatedly said that the targeter only points the way he can't he can't make people happy he can't sort of straighten out other people's views and yeah you can do your best but it's up to each one of us to learn you know sometimes we can be really thick you know sometimes people are very very dedicated students and I go from one teacher to another to another like out of their front row all the time kind of using the front row people but but they're the if you know a kind of front row and they're really keen they're really really determined and sincere but if the if their attitude is is up to the ajahn to make me happy they've got you know I'm putting all this effort into showing up to these Dhamma groups and listen to these teachings because it's their job to inspire me it's their job to help me be enlightened come on you know deliver then you're asking too much and that and sometimes you know it's this it's a when someone is really just wrapped up in their own sauce around perspectives you realize there's nothing you can do that even if they say you teach me teach me teach me you the under me and just below the surfaces right well yeah unless your glass is already full there's no room for anything more it's so full your mind is already so full of its own preoccupations its own opinions its own point of view that the if you can pour a little bit of your opinions you empty the glass a little bit like they'll be room to pour some some more in earlier Davos was reminded of a story from the Buddha's time where how he would sometimes he would allow people to misunderstand him he didn't always make it his responsibility to straighten that everybody's perspective when he would sometimes let himself be misunderstood there's one particular instance where he was traveling walking through the countryside with one attendant month is just the two of them together they came to this fork in the road and in the Buddhist the Buddha said we we should go down this left-hand road and then his attendant Mark said venerable sir we're going to rajagaha and the road to the right is the road that goes to rajagaha and the Buddha said no if we want to go to rajagaha we should go down this left-hand road excuse me verbal sir yeah but this is the road the right-hand road is the road to rajagaha and then in this particular conversation of course it happened three times over as they always do and put its traditional I always do everything three times so after the third time this month said no no this is the road to rajagaha the Buddha said this is if we want to get to Raja gun how do we go this way and then the monk said okay well venerable sir I realize you're the Buddha and I supposed to be your attendant and I'm going to rajagaha so here's your bowl and he gave the Buddha his bowl and okay the Buddha you know you carry your own luggage I'm going this way and then took off down that road by himself and so of course a couple of miles down the road he was attacked by bandits beaten up and his Bowl is broken and so he was injured by the by the robbers so then he can crawl back to meet the Buddha on the other Road and and so the Buddha said well yeah that was that was why I said this is the road to rajagaha so he allowed yeah he could have said to the the monk you know the reason why I'm not going down that right-hand road is because there's some bandits a mile down there that I can tell with my psychic powers and so to avoid getting robbed let's go this way but he didn't because he would left it for the other month it's himself like to figure it out okay I'm traveling with a fully enlightened Buddha who has completely comprehensive psychic powers he would definitely know the geography as well as I do and he's saying that's the road to rajagaha maybe there's something here there's something more here than meets the eye I should ask him why he's saying that road is the road to rajagaha and so if he'd had the wisdom to say well sir my understanding is this is the rally but you're saying that the left-hand one is through a rajagaha but also why is that and then the wood would almost certainly have explained but you know that that when that story is still being told 2500 years later so that that monks there might we realize it's never going to make the same mistake again if you're traveling with the Buddha pay attention to the the choices that he makes because this he's probably got more information than you have and there's probably a good reason behind it so that when we in a sense that it's a teaching of self-reliance what we are aiming to do is to to to say you know you learn for yourself it's up to you to make yourself happy it's up to you to learn the lesson the Acharya can sit up the front and say a lot of things something explain things but it's up to each one of us to really hear it receive it and apply it and that that that principle of you you have to make yourself happy you have to solve your own problems oftentimes when you're in a position of authority or spiritual responsibility Leiter's people say oh john what should I do yeah what should I do I'm trying to decide what I should join the monastery or not I'll try to decide what I should leave my husband or not what should I do and so people like I to kind of ask you to make their decisions for them it's a really tough decision hi John what should I do so if I'm thinking quickly enough I'll say I will say something like I think you should ask yourself why you're asking me to then go to make your decisions for you that's what you should do yeah and they issued to make your own decisions so these are a few reflections on non-attachment and efforts and engagements and an hour or so has gone by so I'll leave it there for the time being and then we can have some time for questions and discussion then it's a while [Music] I have some I keep wondering what they are you say you keep wondering what they I mean whether those experiences are yes well they are experiences the short answer is that yeah those kind of perceptions the they can be meaningful or not you know they can be something that has value or not and again the the key element is the attitude that we have towards unusual experiences like that I say being aware of sleeping yeah being able not being alert whilst your your body is is fast asleep they are different experiences in meditation with say visions Namita or suchlike so it's very interesting you know some meditation traditions that make a big deal out of that my particular experience experiences of light or sound or feelings and they make a big emphasis on what they what they mean or their value or or say how to use them but agent Charles approach was almost always that he was completely unimpressed by unusual colorful meditation experiences because and that he wouldn't emphasize the the attitude towards it so for example jack Kornfield he was a monk imagine Chow in the late 60s so 69 70 for a couple of years and then he went off to to practice with different teachers in Burma and around Thailand and India and then after a year or so he came back and and he recanted to attend charlie's various experiences he had with mohassess I adore Mohawks I adore this with John Taylor I can put a dasa different edge on such time and and he was kind of pleased with himself I he had some sudden some of the things that need experience that kind of thing very intense or liberating experience of those experiences a great peacefulness of lights and and profound concentration and Arjun Charles comment was just can you let go of it because it's not that sometimes those experiences are valuable or meaningful but if the attitude is unskillful if there's a sense of ownership I've got this or this means I must be at least a stream entering or yeah I've finally got some hearty array but the way the mind takes hold of it it can take even something this extremely wholesome and make it into something that is unhelpful or toxic I think there's a a within the forest tradition is a famous story of when Arjun maha bua was a young monk with practicing with a young man in those days the system was that a young man he would only stay in one place for short period of time and move on to live different places people would gather together with a teacher for a few months then golf and practice by themselves up in the wilds and the forests or the mountains and then a few months later come back and check in with a teacher so Archon Maha Bua had been a study monk and it would come out from the city and that was very inspired by the forest way of life and they're inspired by Vinoba young man as a teacher and so that he he gave himself to the practice very sincerely and very energetically and so he'd received some instruction invite young man and went off to practice by himself and during those few months he managed to develop very profound states of absorption incredibly blissful mind states in the Jannah in the Rupa jhana the conformist states of consciousness they're very very blissful and so and he was kind of a young monk and he just started doing his meditation he thought well kind of went pretty well you know haven't been doing this that long and you know this is this is a pretty pretty satisfying so then he went back to gonna watch and learn and he kind of very politely and humbly sort of recounted his experiences of a great glare so you know the mind being told you know you know very very broad and bright and experiences of great spaciousness and blissfulness and so on and venerable Arjun man simply said to him well that won't really be any use to you you know those kind of states of absorption yeah that's not very helpful what you want to do is instead to just diminish the level of concentration so you can just to the access level of concentration so you've got enough mindfulness and concentration to observe the five condors arising and passing away that'll be much more useful and famously the young arjun maha bua argued with him and said no you're wrong and so our Chairman was regarded and it was recognized as being an arahant and also extremely gifted teacher but this young Baku was arguing with him and he was also a new guy he just showed up you know a couple years before so this this argument also Forest monasteries tend to be very quiet so this conversation are quite loud and so the other monks do you think what's going on of the urge on scoot evening and then he saw the two of them having this conversation now do either were saying no it's not truly in theirs this is so good it's so beautiful it's so perfect this can't be the wrong direction of the practice is is absolutely definitely quite a you know the direction I should be going imagine man so it kept saying no yeah you're wrong yes this isn't helpful for you so famously Arjun Maha refused to receive his teachers guidance and took off and said well you know he was polite but he just said you know you're wrong I respect you dad but no you're wrong and so he took off and then when I went back to to go into his meditation again but because of disagreeing with the teacher something in him couldn't quite focus in the same way and so that he couldn't get his mind back into those profound states of bliss and I matter how hard he tried he's a pretty strong-willed person and no matter how no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the line to reabsorb into the same states and then he made the comment which is I think is very significant he said if anyone other than Arjun man had been responsible for taking away those those blissful States from me I would have killed him so those extremely wholesome states became the cause for the urge to murder and so that is a very extreme example but that it's not insignificant because those states are extremely wholesome you know they're very very beautiful bright and so of liberated states of mind but still the the attitude can be one of conceit mana is very pervasive this is mine I experienced this this is this belongs to me even if it's not spelled out in those ways that softly there's two different layers of self view there's Sakura Aditi which is so I am the body I am the personality that level but much more subtle which is only really let go of adhara hardship is the conceit of identity as me mana so that's the female I and mine that is how subtle and pervasive not even voiced but the feeling of I am this this is me this is what I am I'm the owner of this and so that those habits of conceit can still be say pervasive and have their effect there's a in the in the not in the Chinese Buddhist Canon there's a Sutra called assuring Gamasutra which some of you might be familiar with and the last section of the Shirin Gamasutra is called the fifty skander demon states and for each of the five Kunduz the body feelings perceptions mental formations consciousness they outline ten different sort of meditation problems that are associated with each of the Condors certain ones cause with the body to the most refined and so the the Sankara vijnana that color the last to Kunduz they're the kind of problems that only so once returned as a non have they're very refined problems but is it's very interesting in that that and there's a very similar collections of meditation that problems and difficulties are listed in a terrible Canon as well put in the in the Shorin gamasutra the the way it's worded is if they know it's a state it's a good state if they don't realize that it's a state they are bound to fall so if you know oh this is just a mine state this isn't me or - isn't what I am that if the mine doesn't claim it and own it then and it knows oh this is a state it keeps it in context then it's it's goodness can be effective if the mine grasps it and says this is what I am I am this this is me this is mine then downfall is gonna happen so any other questions please also conscious about how people feel about you being too hot working or aggressive but you have to try not look at you as well your that you can either bring on a good question I used to be extremely focused on wanting everyone to like me all of the time and if I got gestures of approval like you crack a joke and everyone laughs you feel like the cat that got the cream and so very pleasing but if you crack a joke and everyone just looks at the floor then you have that breaking into a million pieces feeling like so that they had to spend a lot of time looking at that feeling of trying to be pleasing to people and as seen there was a kind of neurotic reaction was sort of trying to to succeed or please everyone or have everyone liked me and I could see that there was a worry a fear of rejection or a fear of what people what they think the mysterious they yeah his profession is to judge your life that's what that's what they do and so tell us an example yeah okay saying something like that it doesn't get it doesn't get a laugh but in a different context that would the words would be understood in a slightly different way good I know the I I spent a lot of time looking at that feeling of wanting to please them or worrying about what they think and and seeing that there was a kind of stressing at a tensing of a heart around that so I I deliberately would shut up a different attitude and the the phrase I used for for a couple of years was just do what you do and let the world make of it what it will not because you don't care but because it was recognizing I can't make other people happy and so I used to be so compulsively helpful I like an open door policy anyone could come and see me anytime was available I always volunteered for everything and that kind of person so I decided there was all a bit out of balance and so I started to not volunteer for everything and not be available all of the time and not be totally helpful and and so there was it was interesting when I I didn't because I did that quite deliberately something I mean become but but I should I should and it was so so anxious and agitated and kind of childish I realized okay that's well that's definitely something that's not to be trusted that's a kind of very immature habit so just letting the mind know that feeling but but but I should I must I want to I got to and just listen to that and let it go and then and then using instead this attitude just do what you do trust that you know you you can help a certain amount or do a certain amount but other things just let other people do it let it let these things be undone and this that the people praise it or criticize it regardless so it was really interesting that during that period one of the monks said to me you know you're much more easy to live with since you stopped trying to be complete to be perfect what do you mean I wasn't sure whether to be insulted or praise it's true so he said he had much easiest and ever since you stopped trying to be perfect and I realized I'll me trying to be so helpful and so good so right and so yeah perfect all the time was really annoying and and just being a bit more relaxed and and just paying attention was was that wasn't he that was easier to live with and having this sort of super Munk he was trying to get everything right all the time so that that I found that as a little phrase to use this do you do and let the world make of it what it will and then it might sound like you're trying to be callous or uncaring but really it I found that it does help to to catalyze a sense of relaxation and also because I found that no matter how hard you try you can't make people understand you all the time and when you're trying to be inspiring you might be intimidating we were trying to be helpful in you know just getting in the way and so that the during that time also I realized it's important to learn how to be misunderstood there's a very refined practice to let yourself be misunderstood or misrepresented and to just not feel like you got to jump in and fix it but when someone says oh yeah you're so aggressive why do you talk like that it's really upsetting and so something in you might say but but no I'm not really being aggressive or just some you know just scum excited oh no no you can't jump in and try to explain yourself but actually I think it was a am in the the teachings of Confucius Gong foot sir those who justify themselves do not convince because the very energy of self justification creates a sort of agitation creates more of a barrier so to to resist that urge to sort of jump in and explain yourself and to make yourself understood to just pause these for a little bit just to let yourself be misunderstood or misrepresented other people talking about you saying well she's like this and she did that and she does and yes you sitting there thinking that's not what I said no I didn't make sure that it wasn't actually me that was somebody else who did that and is sitting on it for a bit you know these five minutes or maybe six months there's just - leave it and there's a power in letting yourself be misunderstood because when people find out oh that wasn't what happened at all oh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry what can we do to to make things better and you didn't say anything wow that's marvelous he didn't get upset even though we were miss reading what you were what you were done we blamed you and it wasn't you at all that it can work out it's a great advantage but those are very difficult practices to be misunderstood and misrepresented again it's not about being numb or insensitive or pretending that you don't feel or hear but rather that you're looking at that reactive habit and then trying to sort of fix it and make it right and if you just pause then when the right moment comes you can then and so I said well you know it was you that launched this project yeah yeah and so it's really up to you to fix it and then at that moment you can say actually it wasn't me that launched this project that's the people keep saying that but it it wasn't me at all it was a heaven business yeah really so yeah I wasn't even involved oh we never knew you know and so you you choose your right moment you choose the moment that is ripe and so that then but that kind of spaciousness means that we are able to respond to other people rather than just react and it's a similar with complaining you know that you see something being done wrong we immediately wanted to jump in and say you shouldn't do it that way that's that's not right or how could you do that what are you thinking oven so they urge to complain again that benefits greatly for thing what was given five minutes well six months seamless just still wait something ok now I'm seeing this person acting in this way and that seems totally wrong to me now they're a good person and they seem to have good intentions so what's the right way to raise this what's a good way to bring that up how can this this my perspective the be voiced no new thing okay and you just let it sit there and it maybe just assist you know thirty seconds or five minutes you believe it but just enough space to go mm-hmm so what's the best way to express this is there a way of approaching this and then just that little bit of extra spaciousness helps you to be more in tune rather than just jumping in with a complaint or a criticism [Music] [Laughter] [Music] very good question think the the way that we go about the meditation yeah within but it's psychology the means on the end connected so if you use a stressful or an agitated means or an aggressive means so you're trying to make your mind be quiet rather to make yourself peaceful you know that make your thoughts or your emotions are like a problem or an intruder or an enemy then that the the very way that the mind is relating to the thoughts and feelings is creates more agitation so the the the essence of it is ready to learn how to use a peaceful means so that when you're picking out the the meditation practice it's it's me say with an attitude of kind leanness your friendliness the psyche so doing yourself a favor it's like taking yourself out to a really nice restaurant you know all right are going to in taking your favorite nephew to the park you know and they are enjoying the time with this other person you know even though there's a two-year-old it's kind of running here there and everywhere it's like that you know your mind is like that like a two-year-old but you can enjoy being in that person's company so that the if you use it a peaceful and harmonious or an attitude of collaboration if that's the means then you'll get a peaceful or harmonious result if the if the means the method is is aggressive or contentious fighting against the mind or against the body trying to force the body to so sit still or sit straight and has forced the mind to behave and obey commands it's like with a two-year-old you show up straight sit still shut up listen pay attention follow me you know you go tears very shooting in a very short period of time you might get obedient for five seconds but pretty soon that this attention of that it's being brought into the system will just burst and the kid will be in tears or get angry or start throwing their toys or yes you have to have sex let go [Music] well that's an unusual approach in terms of I mean I am familiar with some aspects of tantric tradition where they talk about that but if we look at the Buddha as an example he was son of us even after he was totally enlightened he still chose to live a celibate life he didn't have any girlfriends or boyfriends you know so I would say I'm not sure who our teacher is I know that the there's some certain spiritual groups that they they'd like to focus on those kind of things and so people like chögyam trungpa I was a famous Teran lama and they also Rajneesh who was a Hindu face teacher called multi-faith teacher they they incorporated those kind of things into their system but I have no faith whatsoever that that's that's really meaningful and so that the years ago I was at a conference with His Holiness the Dalai Lama and a number of Western Buddhist teachers and the they were asking about this kind of this area and what they called crazy wisdom we're like so defying all the rules or kind of going against the system and so the dalai lamas was winter his turn to his translators a crazy wisdom if it's crazy it's not wisdom like he hadn't heard the term before apparently and so that yes in certain tantric traditions then they talk about people engaging in sex also in Indian I cannot refer you have images of the male and female deities or Yogi's joined together and so they talk about that using the the sexual act or using anger or things to arouse the end energy in the system and to transform the energy into enlightenment but this conference with a dialogue because there was one particular Zen teacher who had very very harsh criticisms of his own Roshi who he called a a a narcissistic psychopath quote-unquote his own teacher who thought he was a narcissistic psychopath and who was also famous for having had sex with and seducing numerous of his students often in the dahle interviews and so this particular Zen teacher was so distressed by this whole area and what his own teaches logic about it and so he was they came up in conversation with the Dalai Lama and so that the the the Dalai Lama when it was explored he said well you know in Tibet you know in Tantra is a classical tantric texts someone who is a tantric yogi who would who can actually use sexual intercourse as a means of enlightenment the test would be if you can eat human flesh excrement drink wine and urine and it all tastes exactly the same then you're ready for that practice so that's what Professor Robertson yes that's what we need the taste test so any of these llamas so kind of seducing their disciples and they're hating in these ways and kind of writing it off as solely enlightened behavior that that was a dioramas comment so that in the classical text that was the sort of the test as that your level of detachment is so complete that eating excrement and human flesh or drinking drinking wine and drinking urine they're all taste exactly the same as the the one taste practice if that if someone can do that then they're ready for that and then then we asked him said do you know any Tibetan practitioner who is capable of that level of that kind of detachment neither no he didn't and he knows you know he knows everybody and you know although the the highly regarded meditators Yogi's Tibetan world he said no I've never never met anyone that nature and so it's I I mean I can't speak for your friend or why she would assert that but often it's just the kind of the the teacher wanting to have an excuse to have sex with people and call it dharmic you know as so I feel very grateful I wandered into a Thai forest monastery because you know the hormones have their own logic it's like if you have any excuse where you go for it you know you say you know free pizza on the corner oh yeah then really you know were you weren't even particularly hungry with so free pizza okay okay if pizza is popular in Singapore free noodles that the I use suddenly you get interested because there's a possibility it's freely available so you okay and but my experiences with Buddhist teachers and Buddhist practices that's as totally spurious I mean just if you use the the example of the Buddha that's like front center he was totally enlightened he was completely incapable of suffering after the Enlightenment was he how did he choose to live he didn't think oh right it's let's go to the beach and then he didn't go back to his wife and his child he didn't pick up a string of consorts no they're not not in there there's not even a shred of a thought it's just having reached total and complete enlightenment is he absolutely incapable of suffering he chooses to walk barefoot around Bihar and Uttar Pradesh with 45 years living on absurd wearing rag robes that's you know if you're totally enlightened you know this if the sexual desires has no meaning for you it's like they in one of the suitors the Buddha says that one who is an arahant is incapable of five things one is they incapable of taking the deliberately taking life of anything they're incapable of taking what is not given they are incapable of sexual intercourse they are incapable of lying and the fifth one interesting is not intoxicants the fifth one is they are incapable of laying up a store of things like keeping things for tomorrow they won't make or just a store in an interesting case so that as in the in the Pali Canon the Buddha says so that according to the the Pali an arahant is incapable of sexual intercourse so that and yes when you say incapable that's rather like saying a horse is incapable of eating a hamburger it's a it's not interested you know if I grew up on a farm and riding horses and well you know they're often interested in snacks in your pocket you know things that they might if you've got an apple or a carrot or something so the horses are kind of looking to see what you what you might have and you know there'd be sometimes you know both show or something and what you've got in your hand is a hamburger or a hot dog or something well you know and that the horse we can sniff the sandwich and just turn away it's like well that's not food it's just not interested it has say you can't eat that so it's like at least according to the parley teachings what I feel is absolutely accurate is if someone is totally enlightened then you know sex is as I interesting is a hamburger to a horse why bother so you know it's my take on it I'm not sure your friends teachers but television might not they follow but then it's a um it's the kind of approach that often has a lot of popularity in the West as well that they people like that idea you know sex drugs rock and roll and enlightenment yeah well maybe one last one it's getting towards 9:30 [Laughter] well life is uncertain and you can say also you live in the present moment but I would say that you know we you know the dummy is timeless but our our lives and our relationships our involvement in the the living world is time-bound you know we exist in relationship with other people with our families our colleagues that the rest of the planet so we it's a relational dumber it's a it's a relational situation and so that out of that connection that we have with each other in terms of time and work and responsibilities and and our activities then in order to function in a harmonious way then it's wise to to do a degree of planning it's most helpful to put everything in pencil rather than ink so then you can rub it out and change it if you need to so the I feel that it's not just it's the attitude of fixation on the future like it's got to be this way or I am gonna go to KL on Wednesday you know that's I am gonna do that that's definitely gonna happen the more than mine fixates and then links the future in and the more it creates the causes of suffering but to to think that therefore we should never plan or never have any kind of preparation or consideration is going too far in the opposite direction so it's quite it's quite appropriate to put things in pencil and say well it looks like this looks like a a good way forward all and let's head in this direction and see what happens then you can take a direction but you're also ready to adapt along the way it's like planning is not antithetical to Dhamma said well the Dhamma is timeless apparent here and now timeless and it echoic article so well yes but her the that's not the whole story we we live in the causal world of cause and effect and the relationship that we have with the planet with each other with our families with our communities and so those those relations and there's have their impacts there's we have this these lives are a part of a web of cause and effect we affect each other you know the words I say affect you what you say affects me you only you ask this question so I respond so that we affect each other and in that that cause and effect is all happening through time it's you know causes in the fight you know the past the factors and the present and the future so that's addressing the the aspect of of time and change and that if you try to ignore that out of some sort of idealistic perspective you're gonna create a lot of suffering so I think that's probably enough for this evening they're least about 9:30 [Music]

Channel: BuddhaDhamma Foundation

Views: 20,665

Rating: 4.8620691 out of 5

Keywords: Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha, Buddhism

Id: p-S98F7p-So

Length: 110min 54sec (6654 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 16 2017