AITA For Telling My Brother That His Crush Doesn't Like Him? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for putting rules on the money i give obligatory mobile warning sorry for the format backslash are backslash re 22f graduated in nursing at the beginning of december and a job at the end of december my parents early 60s helped me pay for tuition and housing that scholarships didn't cover each semester they would give around 5 6k i had a job and worked 20 hours a week to pay for my car insurance books and groceries i currently live at home and now pay for my car insurance phone bill water bill and help with groceries this is about three hundred dollars a month backslash rethrow out college i have always said once i graduate i will help my parents pay for my brother's college expenses bc they spent a lot of money on my education and i want to give my brother 20 male the same opportunities my parents are older and they want to stop working soon so i was more than happy to help backslash our backslash raffy currently pay for his tuition fees which comes out to 10k a semester and his rent which is 650 with utilities he also gets an allowance of 50 a month bc he doesn't have a job i make about 6k each month and i mostly save my money after bills are paid backslash are backslash re-offered to help with rent and buy his books each semester as long as he keeps his gpa above a 3-0 if it goes below a 3 0 i will only pay half of his rent and still buy his books we all agreed to these rules especially my parents backslash our backslash with this semester it looks like his gpa will be a 2 seven he shared he will not be able to foot off the rent on his own i told him to get a job and work at least 10 hours a week so he can pay 100 a month plus his groceries i will cover the rest which is basically 550 dollars a month this wouldn't start until the semester ended in mid-may backslash our backslash red told me it wasn't fair to expect him to get a job while in school and has already having a tough time i told him i understood that's it's been hard to learn throughout the pandemic my last two semesters were online learning but i still worked i told him my new offer is the only thing i can do to help or he can go back to the original and pay half like we agreed backslash our backslash record me controlling and greedy he hasn't talked to me since i know i can continue to pay the full amount but we agreed to the rules and i even offered a little grace by going from half to hundred and fifty dollars my parents agree with me and say they won't help more than they have been backslash our backslash ram are the antagonist edit information i didn't add one my parents did put conditions on financial help for me when i was in school i had to maintain a three zero originally my brother had to maintain a three five but i persuaded them to go down to three zero bc seemed like a little much so i do believe my brother is having a hard time with the pandemic but related to school he finds two classes boring and doesn't participate or turn in his work this is why his gpa is low now for the top comments nta he's going to have to learn that money he hasn't earned has terms tell him that once he has a mortgage in car note that their turns will be especially non-negotiable nta this is exactly how many scholarships academic and athletic work this is also how real life works you have to do a good enough job to keep your job not the a-hole nta your brother needs to put his big boy pants on and figure it out he's very lucky to have someone willing and able to help him and he's acting like a child nta if he wants your help you are free to add conditions if he thinks you are greedy show him what greedy looks like and withhold money for one two months and ask for an apology he is tough or not keeping his end of the agreement nta one of my scholarships and my first job was a work-study program called america reads essentially we earn our scholarship money through working in local elementary schools tutoring first graders who are struggling in class the goal is helping them reach a first grade reading level by the end of the year so they can graduate in other words it was money for college with a stipulation attached considering how much you have already offered to help your brother it feels very irresponsible of him to not want to at least put in some effort for himself yes going to school and working can be difficult but we are proof that it can be done truthfully he has no excuse nta first off you are one hell of a sister for helping out and it is not in a small way this is a huge way to be helping your family so kudos to you for that secondly you are definitely within your right to put restrictions on a large sum of money that you are giving to him every month this is not something small you are doing for him and it sounds like he needs to realize the gravity of what you are doing for him i would be extremely grateful to anyone who was willing to provide this much financial help to me while in school you put reasonable expectations on the money you gave maintaining a certain gpa and he did not uphold his end of the contract despite this you still provided him with the option to just pay 100 and you would pay the rest so even though he did not maintain his gpa you are still altering the original rules in his favor to allow him to work a minimal amount and still be able to make ends meet personally it sounds like your brother is a bit spoiled by the help that you and your parents are giving him and have probably given him his entire life unlike yourself where you felt an obligation to help the rest of your family out once you were making decent money he does not seem to have the same inclination otherwise he would be more appreciative of the help you have given him and be more than happy that you are willing to continue to pay more than half of the amount again resulting in him having to work a minimal amount to pay his share you and your parents have given him enough that he has not had to work up until this point a privilege that not a lot of people are given when going to school these days this should be a wake-up call for him to grow up and start contributing to what he will one day have to pay on his own nta if i don't keep my grades up i lose my internship which pays my all my bills since my mother isn't able to support me at all i also have student loans he should count his blessings i will say that he might need to see a therapist because i had issues paying attention in classes i didn't find interesting mostly due to untreated adhd he was tested for adhd and other learning disabilities his sophomore year of hsbc a teacher noticed his lack of interest in the class they said he didn't have a learning disability he just thought the subject was boring am i the antagonist for telling my sister my brother doesn't see her because they are not family i 15 f have a step sister eight f who asks all the time why she doesn't get to see my brother 21 male my brother is my half brother we share a mom but not a dad and my step-sister is my step-sister through my dad my mom had a breakdown a few years ago which she never really got better after and so i don't get to live with her my dad has been married to his wife for the last five years and while they have never actually stopped me seeing my brother they made a fuss about him not trying to include her kids 11 male and 8 f when he reaches out to see me a few times they have sent me with notes for him or i've heard one of them on the phone to him saying the kids are innocent and deserve to be included it's gotten so bad i asked my dad to explain things to her and he told me that she has a right to be upset she's not included and that he won't play a part in her life so the other day she was asking me over and over again and i told her to ask her parents and she told me she wouldn't and she said it wasn't fair and wanted me to call my brother so she could talk to him and she said she'd made him a card and she wanted me to give it to him and on the card she wrote big brother she then said it's not nice to treat some siblings better than others i couldn't take it and i told her that the reason she doesn't see him is he's not her brother that he's my brother through my mom and he isn't my dad's family so he isn't her family either she got upset and said i was lying and then she'd hit the fan because she was crying and asking why i would say they are not family am i the antagonist now for the top comments nta am calling your dad and his wife the a.h here because they need to be more honest with her children regarding the nuances of family relationships it is not your brother's responsibility to cultivate relationships with your step sibs the handling of this situation has the potential impact of driving a wedge between you and your half because who wants to be hounded like that however your honesty wasn't relayed in a way where you were well-meaning your dad and stepmom are really the ones creating this issue and their handling of it is really creating a divisive situation by that age i was definitely aware of mixed families i even wrote a book on it and got an award for it she is capable of understanding but only if she is taught she is old enough to understand rejection she should have it explained that she is not being rejected not the a-hole there is an appropriate way to talk about family at all ages and this is not it edit for clarification i mean the way that the parents are handling it is not the way to talk to kids about mixed and blend families i feel like we either read different stories or you're putting too much thought into it i told her that the reason she doesn't see him is he's not her brother that he's my brother through my mom and he isn't my dad's family so he isn't her family either i'm from a mixed family too and there is genuinely nothing wrong with how she said it here she didn't say he hates her she didn't belittle or insult her for feeling the way she does literally all op said was that he isn't related to her because he isn't she didn't deliver it in a rude way and she didn't put down her stepsister in any way nothing about how she explained this was inappropriate i meant the way the parents are handling it is not the way to handle talking to kids blended in mixed families ntai would seriously ask stepmom and dad if they consider your brother their son get them to explain why ask them if he's going to be inheriting anything from their worlds when they pass ask them what they are planning to get him for his birthday or if they even know when it is and christmas ask them if they would be willing to support brother if he gets into a financial crisis why should he act like stepmom's kid's brother if she doesn't consider him her child or even have a relationship with him outside of you they are only looking at this from their perspective i seriously doubt that they consider themselves your brother's parents and are willing to put the effort in behind that they just want your steps to benefit from your brother but aren't willing to make it beneficial to him it would be a little more understandable if your dad still had a working relationship with your brother but at the same time it's not just up to your dad and stepmom to determine what kind of relationship your brother wants to have his opinion and yours is just as important nta they aren't family i'm glad you and your half brother still have a relationship don't let your dad bully you out of it also your sister is only eight her parents need to explain the situation to her and help her handle her feelings over it instead of demanding you and your brother adjust to her feelings my three-year-old niece understands that her siblings have different dads to her that while my kids are her family they aren't family to her siblings we treat them all as family but when we have family dinners they aren't there and ate the blame is on the parents 100 for not explaining it to her i have a step sister she has been my sister since she was a year old her dad married my mom i'm quite a bit older than her her mom got remarried when she was 10 and had another baby i was in my twenties i would babysit the girl when she was four-fifths years old she once realized that i called my sister sister and asked if she is your sister and my sister what does that make us not verbatim she was five ish i asked her what that made us she decided we were cousins so now even as a teenager she calls us cousins even though she is well aware of how the familial relationships work my son calls her mormont my then two-year-old niece now three told her father my brother that she wanted to play with my brothers my boys her father told her they weren't her brothers they were her cousins her only brother was this apparently she did the whole hands on hips sassy attitude are you sure they aren't my brothers to be fair to her she sees my boys more often than she sees her brother am i the antagonist for telling my brother that his crush dislikes him because he's an [ __ ] not because he's too smart so i have a younger brother 13 who is a child prodigy i won't give too many details but has well known in the academic circles of our country and attends an institute of higher education naturally people are impressed with his intelligence and has quite popular and makes friends easily our parents dote on him and have never told him no as a result he has become very arrogant condescending and disrespectful to people he deems below him that's just about everyone lately has been openly talking about a girl has crushing on and much to his dismay quite unimpressed with him he often complains to my parents and i about his failed attempts to befriend her i understand why she dislikes him on one occasion he invited her over for a school project and i overheard their interaction he was constantly talking over her dismissing her ideas and even calling them stupid 99 of the time he was talking about himself and his accomplishments being in news articles his future plans are etc the poor girl obviously seemed uncomfortable he quizzed her about her career aspirations and when she answered he proceeded to point out it's a bad career path today he was once again complaining about her and said that she's obviously intimidated by his superior intellect he claimed that all girls only like stupid guys and that women are emotional sadly my parents agreed and kept assuring him that this girl is obviously uncomfortable with the fact he's so accomplished and awesome after hearing this nonsense many times i finally told him that his crush dislikes him because he behaves like an obnoxious no idol [ __ ] i explained that head probably have a chance if he showed some modesty instead of talking down on this girl so much so my parents obviously think him an [ __ ] for saying this they said that it was horrible of me to say this to a 13 year old and that has just a child i told them that he needs to realize that his personality is becoming a problem and that his crush dislikes him because hezen are not because he's too smart am i the antagonist now for the top comments this reminds me of a scene in the social network you are probably going to be a very successful computer person but you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd and i want you to know from the bottom of my heart that that won't be true it'll be because you're an [ __ ] nta sometimes the truth hurts went to a nerd college with a lot of these guys this is absolutely what they need to be told i work with a guy like this although he thinks no one likes him because they like me and he doesn't like me for absolutely no reason but truth is he's just an [ __ ] to everyone that's not a girl and every girl he's nice to is that i'm clearly into you please date me approach until he gets turned down and decides to hate them [ __ ] me writing it all out makes it sound so much worse i should probably take this two hours nta please continue giving your brother a dose of reality since your parents seem to be determined to raise him into an insult it was a little wake-up call since he seemed genuinely perplexed like his brain couldn't compute that his behavior will cause people to dislike him i absolutely blame my parents who worship the very ground he walks on that's actually a good sign i think he isn't responding with you're just jealous or no you're wrong and here's why he's actually confused and when people are confused they think this might be the wake up call he needed to realize that just because he's smart doesn't mean he's made to thrive obviously he sounds like he'll be financially successful with a good career but at what cost to him i doubt he actually wants to live a life of success without any real connection to people but that's the root he's going down because he wasn't taught the social skills needed for them i can almost guarantee it's already begun other people he hangs out with friends or groupers a successful life isn't just financial it's emotional and physical too if he can learn that now and adjust his behavior accordingly then that's a good thing someone had to tell him and you're probably the best one to say at least in theory and possibly in his mind it's coming from someone that loves him and wants best for him not from someone who is inherently jealous of him a high school teacher i had once said confusion is a good thing confusion is what you feel right before you learn something and that has always stuck with me and help me become a curious person i hope this kid has a lot of confusion ahead of him colon close bracket that's a phenomenal quote nta your parents are most at fault however they're raising a narcissistic monster they need to teach him manners before it's too late they're also enabling his misogyny women are emotional when he's the one having a tantrum you don't understand when boys show emotion it's called logic genuinely though i've met a scary amount of guys who believe that their emotions are purely logical and their opinions are facts it's unsettling i wish that were true then i'd have had all the rune escape loot i wanted nta you actually are doing him a favor for him to learn this lesson now your parents are setting him up for failure regardless of intelligence and ability a huge part of success is also likability and the ability to get along with others i have seen several brilliant people get nowhere because of their complete lack of emotional intelligence am i the antagonist for telling the truth to our daughter about what is and isn't for girls hi all my wife and me have one daughter freya she's five and a lovely kid when she was born she decided that while we wouldn't go full gender neutral we wouldn't push her into being more traditionally feminine masculine as it stands freya has a variety of interests she loves playing football with me outside and i've even taught her some light boxing she also has an entirely pink room and loves trying on dresses and playing around with mac loop we do our best to avoid saying that certain things are for boys for girls and just want her to do things that she enjoys obviously she's a bright kid and inevitably she's asking questions about what she sees for herself i was watching a match and freya asked him if football was meant for boys because we always see men playing it on tv and at her school only boys play etc i hesitated but in the end said that yes football is mostly played by boys freya asked if it was bad that she likes playing it but i said she could play what she wants my wife was really unhappy with me because we'd always agreed that we wouldn't give her a traditional upbringing i agree with her but we also can't treat our daughter like an idiot she's noticed this and if we lie she'll know that we are lying to her i'm perfectly happy for her to be whatever she wants but i also want to treat her with respect and not sugarcoat things which will ultimately make things worse in the long run am i the antagonist but now for the top comments now but i think it could have been worded better as as you told her it's for boys you told her that it's not for her she shouldn't be doing it if she's old enough to notice the difference she's probably old enough for a simple version on social gender expectations you and wife sit down and figure out how to have this talk some people think football is only for boys they are silly and wrong plenty of girls also play football pull up videos of women's football teams or stories of girls playing on their school team i agree is football meant for boys can easily be answered no saying yes because men's football is more popular than women's is not in line with the way up claims they are raising their kid yep it's kind of a weird approach took during her infancy in toddlerhood avoid having letting society force strict pink slash blue gender roles upon her so that she's innocent and free to explore her interests and then wham just kidding you were doing boys only stuff all along lol it would have made more sense to say yes you're correct to notice that you see a lot more boys playing football and girls wearing makeup that's because we live in a society etc etc everyone treats the joker bad because he wears makeup we really do live in a society smh my head light you're the a-hole i have the same approach to parenting my son but i think when it comes to times like this that it's important to point out how football is mostly seen as a men's sport by society but that it shouldn't be like that use these moments to explain how differently society treats male and female athletes she may be young but i promise it helps kids learn my son is seven and just in the past couple weeks i've heard him complain about certain things being gendered and how much it bothers him agreed i don't like how the dad implied that football is for boys by not correcting that phrasing he could have said something like no football is for everyone and then gone on to explain how society often values men's sports more often despite the fact that lots of women excel at sports as well dad sounds like he thinks he's shielding his daughter from the fact that men and women are inherently unequal when he should be teaching her that men and women are inherently equal in terms of value despite some differences but are not treated that way by society slight you're the a-hole now you can't pretend social gender constructs don't exist they do and your daughter will be exposed to them throughout life all you can do is be honest and explain as best you can when questions come up which is what you did equally your wife feels there was a better way to handle that question and perhaps there was i don't know you or your daughter maybe she was right no harm was done this is a chance for the two of you to discuss how you're going to handle such questions going forward to best raise your daughter i like this answer sometimes the truth isn't what we'd like to see and that can be acknowledged my five-year-old son asked me if mostly women do ballet i told him yes i think more women than men do but men definitely can be ballet if they want to then i immediately pulled up some youtube videos of make ballet dancers my boys watched in all and tried to copy them i pointed out how difficult it was and how much practice and strength was required and they were amazed so they now have an impression of ballet as an incredible physical endeavor not just something girls do in fluffy tutus basically i showed them reality but also tried to leave them with the best version of reality ether it's really easy to say football isn't just meant for boys girls can also play and watch it something that isn't untrue you should start introducing her to female football teams and players i think op was talking about american football and the female football teams kinda objectify them with barely any clothes for their uniforms i wouldn't recommend that to a young girl until it's more about the football rather than the butts your comment took me on a trip i wonder what they wear i guess like short shorts and tight shirts google's oh no this can't be real as a non-american i googled this too amazing this still happens in 2021 the cheerleaders are wearing more clothing gently or the a-hole girls play football everywhere yes tv focuses on the boys game but you could have easily clarified that that's just tv

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 979

Rating: 4.8518519 out of 5

Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: mzdlIRn1tt8

Length: 25min 54sec (1554 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 15 2021