A step by step guide to going out Solo

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all right so I got a question from this guy and he's wondering he can't find any wings to go out with him so he's gone going out by himself so he goes out with no wingmen nobodies and he's wondering what are some strategies that he can use to be successful when going out solo so not only am I gonna answer this guy's question I'm gonna do them one better I'm going to give him a step-by-step process for going up by yourself I'm gonna teach you how to go out pick up a girl get her phone number do whatever completely bung your own and I'm also gonna teach you how to turn your hometown into somewhere that's really good for you to go all by yourself and also how to implement this while you're traveling where you're in areas that you're only in for a short amount of time so before I even get into this I could actually actually say that I am a expert on this subject when I was learning how to get good with women when I was learning how to get my verbal whatever skills up I would go out by myself at least once a week I was going out probably like five or six nights a week every single week for years but at least one of those days of the week I would go out completely on my own and it wasn't because I liked going out by myself I don't like going out by myself but it was because I was so committed to going out that when even people none of my friends wanted to go out I would still go out talk to girls try and meet people do that sort of thing I also was in Asia for about a year a hundred percent by myself and I was just traveling around solo so obviously when you're in this environment you have to get good at meeting people you have to get comfortable with yourself and you have to also be able to be completely independent and self-sufficient so let's get right into it the first step is to have the right mindset even before you leave the house even before you go to the place that you're gonna go to you need to realize that it's totally okay to be going out by yourself alright you might feel like a complete fuckin loser you might feel like a loner you might feel like you don't belong or there's something wrong with you or all these feelings kind of crop up when you're not when you feel ostracized from their group when you see other people going out and you're walking to the bar or whatever when people are already in groups they're talking to each other and you're just kind of by yourself and you don't know anybody there it sucks it can be pretty hard and that's why going up by yourself is one of the hardest things to do but it's also one of the most invaluable things to do if you want to improve your skills with people because it's gonna force you to rely only on yourself not on other people to make the night good and what you have to realize is that really sociable people people who know how to make friends with other people easily do this all the time because when they go out they kind of consider the world or the people that are out to be you know their potential friends or people that they could hang out with they usually assume that a person is gonna be nice to them rather than mean to them it's because they've been out so many times they're good with people they're sociable and it's that easy I want that mindset to happen to you guys realize you're not a complete loser for growing up by yourself you're strong you're brave and on top of that you're gonna gain some great knowledge and skills from doing this sort of stuff in fact most people if you talk to them most guys out there they will give you props for going out by yourself most girls will you know think that that's courageous thing there's only a few girls out there especially the young ones that may judge you for it okay and these are like the young girls that would never even think twice to leave their friends for even to go to the bathroom or something when they go out they might think that you're a little weird for doing that that's just because they haven't stepped outside of their comfort zone you don't need those girls anyway if you come to talk to them you can just lie and say your friends are at another bar or something like that step number two is the night starts as soon as you leave your house okay if you're going out at night you're going out during the day it starts as soon as you leave the house it doesn't start when you get to the bar it doesn't start after you're done checking your code and at the club it starts as soon as you leave the house if you're getting on a train if you're getting taking a lyft line or something whatever make conversation with the people around you start talking to people okay if you see a girl on the train maybe talk to her and find out where she's going maybe she could join you at the bar that you're going to or wherever it is your destination is okay start as soon as you leave the longer you wait to start talking to people the longer you wait to start being social the harder your night is going to be okay I've done this before where I've gone out by myself and then I would not talk to anyone in line at the bar and then I would get into the bar and still not talk to anyone have a drink then think oh you know you know I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then I would go to the bathroom and then I'll come back finish my beer then order another one still wouldn't talk to people and you see out like you get into this pattern of just doing things because you're nervous and then never end up approaching you never end up talking to girls or anybody you know talk to anyone would you go out once you start getting into the social mode things are gonna start to get a lot easier okay it doesn't matter who you start talking to but start talking to somebody step number three is choose a place to go to at first that's familiar okay if you live in a hometown maybe there's a bar that you frequent or maybe there is like a place where you like to eat a lot where you know the owners or something like that anywhere that's familiar try and start out there okay the reason why I say this is because you want to feel like you're at at home you're at a home base you want to feel like you're starting out in a place that's familiar to you because it's gonna calm the nerves a little bit now let's say you're in a new area you don't have any more familiar something that I like to do is I like to if I can't get a friend to come out with me sometimes I'll call a friend up and say hey dude I'm about to go out by myself but uh this is gonna happen and then usually if my friends a good friend he'll call me a pussy told me to stop being a bitch and then he'll like give me some encouragement to like go out but hearing a familiar voice hearing your friend's voice or something like that will just kind of let you know that you know you got friends you got people that got your back just cuz they're not out with you right now it doesn't mean they don't exist and it can help you start the night give you a little bit of encouragement step number four is this goes back to the previous thing that I was talking about start talking to anyone and create a home base now what I mean by this is this is a group of people in the night that you know who you've befriended who you can go back to if when you start talking to girls things don't go well this is a group of people that will accept you and re accept you back into their group this is not gonna be a group of like nines and tens of you know really hot girls this is gonna be a group of probably dudes or probably ugly fat girls or something like that is it just girls maybe that you're not interested in this is gonna be that group okay you're gonna go back to them you're gonna talk to them you're gonna shoot the shit they're gonna be your buddies and it's gonna give you kind of like something familiar to come back to in any case if things don't go bad this is probably gonna be your most important people because at the beginning of the night at least they're gonna be the people you that you're spending the most time with okay the way I would kind of go into the group as I would say you know hey what's up how's your night going you guys made me just make casual conversation with them they should be pretty warm and friendly to you and then when they ask you you know what are you doing sometimes I like to be honest sometimes I like to say hey you know my friends are kind of boring tonight so I decided to come up by myself and usually they'll they'll let by or that and they'll say you know we will why don't you hang out with us or something like that or you know you're free to kick it with us if you want to usually if you find a good group of people they'll be willing to do this I mean I do it for people who are going out by themselves and like I'm with a pretty cool crew and I'm not trying to like I mean I usually take people in honestly if they just want to kick it if they're not you know make sure you're contributing to the group make sure you're not being a fucking asshole make sure you're not taking anything away from them or like trying to I don't know do do things that would devalue the group that you're in step number five is handle objections now I just gave you a little bit of a clue and the last step about how to do this but basically this is when people come up to you and they're like so where your friends are like you know who you here with you'll get these questions a lot and people tend to panic they say oh I can't tell her about them by myself so they lie and they come up with a shitty lie or something like that look you can lie if you want to that's totally fine if you want to have a perfect lie just say hey you know why I was with my buddy but he went home with somebody or you know my friends got drunk they're at a different bar right now um I just kind of like to go with honestly I usually just say you know my friends are come up with being lame tonight so I decide to come up by myself or you know you can you if you kind of know the bartender you can just say hey can can you see my friend he's the bartender here that could be a good plus too knowing the bartender is always nice because then she knows that you're established within the you know with an area that you are in so that's good too but it honestly it's just the way you handle it you know you have to make it seem like it's no big deal if you're really uncomfortable with you being out by yourself then she's gonna see that she's gonna see that you were uncomfortable and you know whatever you feel she feels she's gonna feel uncomfortable with that too because clearly you're not comfortable with it but if you are out by yourself and it does come up and you do admit it to her and you're totally cool then that's no big deal to you guess what it's gonna be no big deal to her as well step number six is proceed through the as you normally would okay now that you have a home base you basically have a group of friends that you're spending time with now this could be your buddies these could be your wings or whatever but you just met them okay so you have that now you can go about your night the usual way you go about it and usually this group of people will will be amused by you they'll be amused that you're going up and talking to a bunch of girls at the very least it'll be entertaining entertaining for them so there's that I usually like to come with if I'm hanging out with a group of people that are like couples and stuff they usually get a huge kick out of it because they miss being single and they use miss that'd the whole adventure behind us so they can kind of live vicariously through you and then we'll kind of endear yourself to the group as well because you can tell them your funny stories everything to happen all this chick said this and I said that you can kind of talk about it and banter a little bit so continue with your night as you usually would once you find a girl that's really into you try and move around you know you know do the whole things get physical Volvo continue your night with their and that's step six that's the final step of the process we're going out so basically you've created a system now where now you don't have to go out with wings you can make wings as you go meet people as you go be sociable but do those steps this is gonna really cut down the amount of nerves that you have when you go out because I'll tell you what going out while you're by yourself is one of the most nerve-wracking things and hardest things for sure but if you want to get good and you want to improve your social skills this is something that you're gonna need to be able to do by yourself so this is what I would recommend to do if you have a home base where you're like we are starting let's say you live in a city and you know you're gonna be in that city for a while this is how you can make going up by yourself the easiest thing ever so every time you go out make friends with the bouncer make friends with a bartender ask them how their nights going ask them how the bartender's nights going remember their names okay remember their names I guarantee you 99% of the people that walk into that bar they're not asking the bouncer how they're doing they're just kind of walking by and doing their own thing but if you take the time to ask them about their night ask them about how they're doing remember their name they're gonna remember you and now you know the bouncer you know the bartender you're not alone at that bar anymore okay every time you walk in there when those people are working you know people and knowing the bartender and being friends with the bouncer actually a really very socially conscious and you know highly valued thing to do people who go out are well-known in the nightlife they're more attractive because they have the and the social connections and everything those social their social value is higher because they know these people so even if you don't if you don't go out with a wing or anything if you know the places that you frequent if you know the staff there if you know maybe some of the people that usually frequent there a lot you're gonna be just by the work that you've put in you're gonna have high social value even though you didn't leave with any of your buddies or anything like that so try and establish and meet people within the areas that you go to make friends in your area and that way you can just say hey you know what I want to go out in a Friday you know the bartender you know the bouncer you know some of the staff there it feels like you're at home and whenever a girl is in those is in one of those areas it feels like you're picking them up in your back yard or it feels like hey what are you doing in my front yard you know it's it feels totally normal it cuts down the approach anxiety and all those things that really hamper you when you first start going out by yourself now if you're traveling and you're going you know you're your own going being an area for a very short amount of time it's usually pretty easy to meet people if you're at a hostel or something like that but if you're at a hotel and you don't have time again I would go by the principles that I just stated but you have to go by them pretty solidly legs start talking to people pretty pretty soon pretty quickly alright well that's not going out solo hopefully answer this guy's questions hopefully this helped you guys out when it comes to going out solo they know there's a lot of like information pieces out there that's mostly inner game but hopefully this is enough practical information that's gonna help you kill it out there when you go out by yourself if you made to the end consider subscribing to come out with videos like this every single week if you're a guy who's going out solo who really wants to take your results up to the next level I highly recommend that you get a coach it's what I did it's what a lot of my buddies have done and that's really like we're gonna help you get the results we're not gonna let you fail you're gonna get those results if you get one so if you're interested in that email me at the single guy twenty seven at gmail.com and that's it you guys good luck out there [Music]

Info

Channel: TheSingleGuy

Views: 113,577

Rating: 4.8853307 out of 5

Keywords: thesingleguy, seduction, game, get laid, get girls, bars, hook ups, nightlife, single guy, dating advice, dating faq, pick up, pick up advice, going out solo, going out, solo game, going out alone, solo pick up

Id: K41O98cKKpg

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 13min 30sec (810 seconds)

Published: Sat May 12 2018

Reddit Comments

Summary: Going out solo is one of the toughest tests of social and game mastery because it is up to you, and only you, to make the night good. I've gone out solo and gotten laid more times than I can count. Here is my step by step process for going out solo and achieving true freedom. I have also included at the end an instruction for turning your hometown into a place where you never have to go out alone again.

1:32 Have the right mindset

3:20 Start as soon as you leave the house

4:40 Start somewhere familiar

5:40 Talk to anyone to create a home base

7:26 Handle objections

8:50 Proceed as you normally would

10:15 Turn your hometown into a home base

👍︎︎ 37 👤︎︎ u/GET_IN_THE_VAN 📅︎︎ May 13 2018 🗫︎ replies

what happened here?

👍︎︎ 7 👤︎︎ u/Mopso 📅︎︎ May 13 2018 🗫︎ replies

[removed]

👍︎︎ 37 👤︎︎ u/[deleted] 📅︎︎ May 13 2018 🗫︎ replies

Wow great video, thanks. I think it could help me Change my mindset about going out solo occasionally

Getting to know the bartenders and bouncers really is good advice. One of my buddies I go out with usually knows the bouncers / front door people and gets us right into clubs. Im going to start remembering their names and talking to them more like you said

👍︎︎ 3 👤︎︎ u/WinterlsCumming 📅︎︎ May 13 2018 🗫︎ replies

Why call fat women ugly? I thought it would be a cool video, but you're just being rude...

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/abadaba69 📅︎︎ Jun 05 2018 🗫︎ replies