A Revert's Story: Ellie

so my name is Ellie I am from the UK my job is a travel blogger I definitely have the travel blog um travel book and a travel blog and I became a Muslim two and a half years ago I did my shahada um but my journey to Islam kind of started around this time of year three years ago which I kind of can't believe now is three years and obviously now coming up to Ramadan it's actually going to be my fourth Ramadan which literally kind of blows my mind to be honest it doesn't feel that new to be honest I think because I would say also I got married like a year and a half ago I did my new car and so for the last kind of year I've you know obviously been living with my husband I've got step children so we very much have like a Muslim household I have a lot of Muslim friends here in Manchester so it definitely does feel just this is part of me now and but I do think that has come from the people around me and that I feel very um you know comfortable as well like especially here in Manchester like there's so many Muslims um so it's I've been you know living a it's not a Muslim majority area but um we're definitely not a minority so I think that helps with me feeling like this is just who I am I can imagine if it was I hadn't got married or I was still single and you know maybe still traveling by myself then it would be I would have a different feeling but it's definitely some things you know I'm still learning things new every day as well so in that sense it it definitely feels new yeah for me it was mostly through travel I mean I've been traveling on and off for kind of like well about 13 years now obviously when I became Muslims around 10 years and I'd been to a lot of Muslim countries in the Middle East and Asia and but it had you know it always enjoyed going to mosques and things but never really kind of took any more of an interest and then towards the end of 2019 I went to Pakistan and I met some really nice people there that definitely just showed me a bit more I guess I actually met Muslims for the first time and actually kind of connected it's something that I even though I'd lived in London as well for two and a half years I don't really feel like even though again there's so many Muslims in London um that I hadn't really ever connected with anyone and so in Pakistan I kind of met a couple of people that was the first time then I went to Indonesia and a few people I met there you know they were Muslim and again maybe conversations I'd had in Pakistan kind of led into Indonesia and then subhanallai went to Saudi Arabia because they just opened their borders for tourism so I spend a bit of time in Riyadh and abha and Jeddah and I met a lot of Muslims there and really kind of got involved with meeting some Muslim families from some like ladies that I'd met and I stayed at their house and really got welcomed in and that's kind of what you know brought Islam to my attention and what it is to be a Muslim and obviously being in Saudi Arabia like with the cafes and things closing for prayer time all of a sudden you know I'd always heard the call to prayer but never really kind of connected it with like this is when you go and pray but in Saudi when everything closes you realize like oh wow yeah people are praying and I think at this point I had been on quite a deep spiritual journey myself um now when I look back it's more like new age spiritualism I guess but it definitely opened my mind in the last few years into all sorts of things so I think then when I started to kind of learn a little bit more about Islam through the people around me I was very open to the idea of oh praying and angels and I'd had to try to have my own kind of prayer practice before a meditation and that kind of thing but it was never really something that stuck because there was never any set rules for it and when and I realized like oh okay there are rules for this in Islam and not just rules but you know guidance and kind of suggestions of what you should do you know Islam is a way of life that kind of made a lot of sense to me and then after kind of being intrigued I did also when I was in Saudi I went to Medina whilst I was in Jeddah I got the train to Medina which was obviously a hugely kind of impactful experience of just experiencing how calm it was there how peaceful just seeing Muslims from all around the world there that was had a huge effect on me and then not long after that covert hit and all of a sudden you know I was in Indonesia actually when covert hit I ended up staying there for four months on an Islamic Island I had a mosque like five meters away from my house my job as a travel blogger declined there wasn't as much to do anymore so I suddenly had a lot of time to research and then that's when I just started researching all the questions that I had about Islam a lot of the negative things getting answers starting to listen to podcasts YouTube videos Ramadan soon approached and I thought like okay let's try and fast it'll be an easy like it's a good way to pass a month you know like have something to focus on for a month so I fasted during Ramadan started to learn to pray because I felt very connected to that and then a couple of weeks kind of yeah a couple of months later I knew like wow I know too much information now for this to just to pass me by you know I can't just turn away from this right now and then I also felt like a bit of a sponge like I'd absorbed so much information over the last few months without being technically a Muslim life I felt like I couldn't learn more and to like actually you know took the commitment to being Muslim myself and actually started practicing this and putting this into my life like officially and then I did my shahada not long after there's so many little things and little things that happened you know in my past and things that I decided to stop doing myself and just ways of life that I had myself that then I look back now and I think yeah it all just kind of added up into this right now so yeah I'm Delight it's a really beautiful Journey well for me they kind of saw every a gradual process as well I mean I like I said I wasn't at home I've traveled a lot anyway so I've kind of lived in my family a little bit but I'm very independent and that's kind of how I've grown up throughout my 20s anyway my family definitely trusts me and I think again from all the travel you know I've been to con like even when I went to Saudi my mum's like you know like what are you doing going to Saudi and then you know when I went to Once to travel into by myself she's like you can't travel India by yourself I'm like I'm going and it's going to be fine you know I've not had any issues with you know I've been very responsible in my life you know all the travels I've done they haven't had to you know help me with anything and so basically I guess what I'm saying is they do trust me so then when it came to you know saying that I wanted to become Muslim they were just like okay we don't really understand what that means but like we trust you they knew that I'd been fasting for Ramadan because I'm in Indonesia I've got friends here they're fasting so I'm just gonna give it a go and then they knew that I'd been learning as well and again because at this point I didn't share this that much online on Instagram gram but I shared bits here and there like during Ramadan I shared that I was fasting I shared that I was reading the Quran and they you know my mum anyway she just followed me on Instagram so she kind of saw that anyway and even then later on in my journey when it came to wearing hijab and things my family have seen that and even on Facebook where I've got closer friends and closer family members aunties and uncles and things like I haven't really had to say anything because they've just seen him so that's actually been like a really amazing kind of wave that I've done it which I know a lot of other people don't necessarily do do that way especially putting it online first um but that was like an easy break-in for me because they kind of got to see it like that and yeah my family happened a lot they're very easy going anyway interested in God for me I think it is that idea of still trying to be the same person as before I think it's making sure that you know that I haven't changed so much I mean obviously we all evolve anyway I say this to friends as well you know even if you haven't like done a big a big change like changing your religion you know you would hope that you know from three years ago you're in different person you know it doesn't need to be like a drastic change like religion but it could be anything so we all evolve anyway and I think you know sometimes I look back to things and think like oh you know I miss doing that or I wish I could do that but then a lot of my friends who you know haven't changed the religion who are used to you know maybe go out with and things you know they're not necessarily doing they're not living that life anymore either because they have evolved in the last three years they've gotten older their priorities have changed but I think it is just yeah making sure that I've been quite conscious that I haven't kind of left lost touch with you know my friends from before things that I used to enjoy doing before and not putting too much pressure on myself I think that one of the biggest struggles of being a Reaver which hamdullah I didn't really experience but I think that I didn't experience this because I was very aware of it before doing my shahada is the pressure from other people you know again like as soon as I shared online I'm Muslim like people like what you're going to change your name to I'm like I don't need to change my name you know and I think if you don't have that knowledge beforehand and you are maybe slightly impressionable maybe because of how you became Muslim maybe it was through a slightly more emotional route or something or people around you then that can be hard that pressure to change suddenly change your lifestyle to suddenly change the way that you dress change your name change the people around you um so yes I was very aware from that from the start so I don't think I had that struggle but I you know I definitely do still struggle with started looking back at certain things and thinking like I wish I could do that yeah I mean I guess in terms of maybe if I focus on the unique to me bit being a rebirth I think definitely because they have obviously it's not completely unique to me a lot of people have social media platforms but just a lot you know I do share a lot on social media for example and I have shared a lot of social media so there are obviously photos and videos of me like before I was Muslim like not covered obviously not wearing hijab and even when I did become Muslim I didn't wear hijab straight away and I kind of took my time on my modesty journey and now you know I do wear hijab in like a variety of ways and I think that it's not completely unique to me but if I compare it to people that I other converts I know it's fairly unique that other people don't necessarily have that is that yeah it is just navigating that world you know what do you do do you try and delete everything do you let it bother you do you still take your own time you know telling you you shouldn't when I wear a turban you shouldn't be doing this or you shouldn't be wearing it like this so that obviously you're putting yourself basically in the public eye of criticism of criticism by some people always going to get kind of haters alhamdulillah I haven't had too much of that but then also you know people who do want to try they do have a good heart and they are given suggestions from their heart but often I think as a as a general theme as well with reverts is that it's not always best to say you know you just say like you can say something from your heart and well-meaning but it doesn't always come through that way and and rightly so you know especially if people are having it a lot or someone's very new on their Journey like something that you you're saying right now could be really damaging to them so yeah so for me I guess it's been navigating that world of social media as well as well as how I've changed my lifestyle how I've changed how I look and how I dress I would say that's yeah fairly kind of unique I guess it's just how different all of our Journeys are you know I've been very lucky to have met a lot of river convert Muslims and I you know in real life especially here in Manchester I mean there's such an amazing Community up here which is so amazing and I get a lot of messages on Instagram and emails people that have watched my YouTube videos and what I share especially in the earlier days when I first became Muslim I shared a lot of what I was going through and tips that I'd picked up and things so therefore a lot of people do reach out to me and tell me there stories and their Journeys and I guess what just amazes me all the time is just how different people's paths are to Islam you know there is no one way and you know and then that also goes into with reverts yeah there's no one way of doing it like maybe you know a few reverts then I think obviously born Muslims obviously making sure that they accept that everyone does things differently you know like some people may cover but then they're struggling with their prayers some people may be on it with their prayers and then they're struggling with fasting like no one or the other way is right or wrong especially when you're just trying to start everything and you also can't do everything overnight it's not you can't just suddenly it's not only that you can't you shouldn't change and suddenly start doing everything overnight and thinking that you can so I think that that's it I think it's just giving reverts that time to grow and to process and to learn things by themselves and it's good to give advice but yeah you definitely have to be careful in how you give advice and being very sensitive and how you give advice when you give advice and in the sport situation do you give advice and you know not just going up somebody in a mosque and starting to grab their hijab and trying to change you know like fix it for them so I think that's it I think it's just realizing that there's so much uniqueness to people's Journeys and their paths and there is no right or wrong on how people come to Islam or and how they start their Journey I'd say definitely the community itself and you know again I'm very very lucky up here in Manchester we have some really amazing revert support Community kind of groups and even just you know it doesn't have to if I give you an example of up here in Manchester um you know which I really hope that could be spread across the world in different especially different cities I know some people you know they're revert and they're in small towns or cities especially in the US where it's obviously so huge people are not in an Islamic majority area and even here in the UK you know you can be in a small rural Village or city and there aren't any of them Muslims around either so I know that can be the case but I do hope that people I think firstly anyway I think if you think that you're missing a community then you should be the one that starts it like you can't go saying that you know there is no Community for reverts when you haven't tried it you know get online try and start a little Instagram group it doesn't need to be anything about yourself it is purely about like the location and reverts and people will find that through typing in and you can join Facebook groups and just create in a group and try and promote it that way and find people will come and then it will come through word of mouth so I think firstly that's important and then as I said up here in Manchester we're really lucky a group that I am part of and you know I'm very good friends with their sisters who created it you know they just simply make do a breakfast every Sunday so it's nothing religious we don't go to the mosque it's you know we chat about whatever we want but it's just something social and what they are very cautious of as well is that you know these breakfasts are only for revert or convert female down the Slims or those kind of very close to reverting because they want it to be a safe space where you can talk and a space where you know you can joke about that girl's holiday that you had you know 10 years ago and what you got up to you know because like that's important as well you shouldn't feel like you can't talk about those things and then you know within that as well if there are speakers here in Manchester then we've got a WhatsApp group we'll highlight it sometimes we meet for drummer and then we go for cake afterwards so of course we still have you know religious aspects in there and we try and do things but if you're going to have a convert group that also doesn't have to be constantly religious you know you don't have to meet up purely for religious purposes you can meet up to socialize have brunch go for a coffee go shopping and I think that's really important as well and being around a group where you can be free to talk and not feel judged about whether it's yeah something in your past or whether it's you're worried about your lack of knowledge and that you can ask questions you know to each other and not yeah not have to worry one of the biggest feedbacks I get from messages from people who've watched my YouTube or my Instagram is like wow I you know I'm just like you I look like you or I'm from an area like you and I also am interested in Islam which obviously now it is great you know there are more Muslims coming to The Faith from different backgrounds different ethnicities and races and things but often you can feel like you don't look like well you'd maybe typically think a Muslim would so again you go on a group like this you see like oh wow this is great and some way people are wearing hijab for example and some aren't and and again like everyone's welcome just as they are so I think that's really nice and that's kind of how yeah it's a really nice way to build an active community no I haven't gone through that Avenue with you and but I was just going to say I mean again obviously it's amazing to have Community around you in person but like we said I know a lot of sisters are in areas where they don't have a community around them or maybe for some reason they kind of can't get out and meet up with people for example so yes obviously then it comes to the online sphere and I think you know a huge benefit from Los Angeles down was of course that so much went online and that you know there are multiple kind of convert Spears online that offer help so that's amazing yeah like you guys as well so I really hope that like sisters that are in a position where they can't meet other people or there's just no one around them and you know then they can turn to online resources like you or obviously have a combination of both which is fantastic as well I mean ones I'm going to say is also revert Support also has to be by reverts I think I've heard of a few things recently where not ball Muslims have tried to set up revert support and it just is just not the same obviously you can within the organization you can have a mixture but the people who kind of first run it make decisions do need to be reverts because they understand it at the end of the day everything like we've just spoken you know you can be a ball Muslim I know ball Muslim who you know I'm very close to her both of her parents that reverts so she understands she's from the UK she's white she's British she understands very much of the Reverb struggles but like she says I'm still not a Reaver both of my parents are so I understand from there but I'm still not I was brought up a Muslim so I still cannot relate to even though she's so close to relating to so much she knows that she can fully not relate and as you can't get anyone closer than that I don't think than it you know that is a child of a river and they still can't relate so that just kind of proves everything as to why it is important to have these revert communities of people who understand each other and it is a safe space so those people who say they know like it doesn't need to be yeah like again if you think there's a need for a platform like you then create that like you've created Solace because for reverts so yeah people who kind of want to say well that what about us like they should then think let's create something for us which I definitely think there's a need as well for all Muslims who feel like rebirth or had a similar journey to Islam as an older at an older age it's very similar as well but not quite the same me [Music]

Channel: Solace UK for Muslim Revert Women

Views: 9,902

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Id: gYeMm28T9Rw

Length: 18min 18sec (1098 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 02 2023