A Nero Wolfe Mystery S02E04 Die Like a Dog

Oh you you and take your sordid affairs with you Richard Meegan had made the mistake of asking wolf to find his wife then he made another mistake he took my raincoat instead of his I had started to return it but when I got to his apartment I didn't enter it there was a party going on outside the presence of pearly Stebbins made it a cinch that there was a corpse inside the building sure that's not your dog yeah no now the wife's allergic and my presence at the scene of a homicide arouses all of pearlies worst instincts I decided to get my raincoat back some of the time what I'm not your pal go on come on stay I am NOT Japan now you must go back to where you were my idea was to call the ASPCA for help but there was no sense in passing up an opportunity to annoy a wolf what the devil of your bed we were supposed to go over the orchid list what's that oh it's a dog or a hound to be precise I'm a no temper for the honorary get it out of here no so you have your our kids for it says his turtle Theodore has parakeets why shouldn't I have a dog his registered name is champion arrow of banty scoot we'll have to change his name of course cuz I wouldn't want us to confuse the two of you evany would do or jet her inky or stop paddling is it's not a hound it's a Labrador Retriever why say hound because it would be natural for a private detective to have a hound Labradors have a wider scope than any other dog for brain room a dog I had when I was a boy in Montenegro had a rather narrow skull but I did not regard that as a defect I do not recall thinking that the dog had a defect so when when when when you smuggled that creature in here did you take into account the destruction that might cause in this household don't worry don't worry I will get rid of the dog I do feel the need for a pet perhaps I'll try a chameleon no no no I do not wish to interfere with the commitment that you make I have made a commitment good weather to come from follow me home I look I'm gonna call an animal shelter and no no no why call someone from the police department and give them the license number and locate the owner and then you will call the owner directly no no I don't think so because you see if the owner is dead or in jail you'll take the position that I've committed myself by bringing the dog home well it would be dishonorable for you to renege yeah you'd enjoy having a dog around provided you could blame it on me I think that name that you suggested jet would be acceptable for this dog I like inky the stupid name it's a name that would demean even demean a dog jet is the dog's name I wasn't mean seriously jet dinner itself sir is the animal dining with you chili that's ebony fritz jet friends this animal is hound yeah is named inky no his name is jet jet no his manners seem to be adequate but I would prefer to test them in the kitchen ah yes here come that's loyalty for you the squabs were absolutely edible but other phenomena of that evening were not so pleasing the best shinji is the oldest breed on earth originating in central Africa 5000 BC of course there was no trace of the Afghan hound before 4000 BC Fitz has jet demonstrated a capacity for restraint easily food for a dog he has a remarkable control you wouldn't find him to be a an incorrigible nuisance as a cohabitant no of course they need time they must be walked and fed but for such a noble beasts I suppose we could make the sacrifice well we must offer him in any case for Archie said yeah rightful for my sake ah clearly they were prepared to become charter members of the canine canonization League next thing you know we'd have box seats at the Westminster Dog Show Jay what done that [ __ ] just drop it drop it Jim you never come after dinner cut the crap good when then tell me where the dog is the owner of the dog was murdered this afternoon the officer at the scene recognized you and said you enticed the dog to go off with you I did not entice well the dog just followed you hey dogs follow me girls follow me I'll skip the comedy the dog belonged on a victim of the murder and you removed it from the murder scene and to top it off one of the tenants from 29 Arbor Street was by here today to talk to you Richard Meighan what the hell was that all about Sartre business go up yeah we'll get this the last people I want near a homicide scene is you or Goodwin but I knew you were there and I want to know how and why and what and when and who you're wasting your time in mr. Miggins first breath he mentioned his wife yeah yeah my vanity bristles at the thought of taking a job like that yeah I know what I stopped him my bluntness engaged him and he stormed off with mr. Goodwin's wrinkle so that's why you went there so why'd you take the dog what dog Hey he had my raincoat I had his I was just gonna go and swap them out look I will admit if pressed that I should not have patted the dog but let me ask you this there was a dodge on my part about the dog why did I call the precinct to get the name of the owner of the dog I don't know with you on wolf I never know look I'm I'm gonna open the bag here uh he's come for some free advice shut up the man who was killed was Philip camp he lived on Perry Street a few blocks from our bure he lived alone with the dog no family Olsen the janitor sees him arrived with the dog on a leash at 5:20 this afternoon 15 minutes later the dog comes out to the tenant named Victor talento he says he saw the dog in a vestibule thought it was a stray and chased him out somebody starts yelling Oh Olson comes down and sees two men in the foyer one live one dead the live one was Ross Chaffee an artist who has studio on the top floor the dead one is Philip gaff we got onto the dog because Stebbins found the leash in the pocket of camps raincoat the lab says he was strangled with the leash all four tenants of the house we're home we can't provide Johnson's that evidence Victor talento a lawyer who lived on the ground-floor had left don't touch what the rest of them Jaffe Meighan and Jerome Ilan a nightclub performer we're still there of course none of them heard or saw a thing but camp went there to see one of those four men and he had his dog with him so my theory is that dog is my witness well the animal seems quite intelligent but I doubt he's up to answering questions yeah but he saw and heard it all and it's possible he was actually there when camp was killed so that's why we're gonna take it there to see which door he goes to and we're gonna do that now I got a guy out in my car who knows dogs huh Hachi hmm go to your room go to my room go up to your room Theodore has put the parakeet in your room go up and see that he's all right parakeet wolf let's get back to the dogs go to your room now walk up the hop I want the dog I went it was either that or quit my job on the spot and I resign only one we haven't got company jet was waiting patiently where I left him I'll clear no wait until I built it alright how you stay here hey Chet a pretty mess will sneak a dog in here to badger me and now this forget it you're the one who bollocks this up but all because you felt sorry for an orphan I thought that my disinclination to permit a policeman to storm in here and commandeer any person or object that struck his fancy was shared by you well it is we're within reason don't be ambiguous clearly the simplest way to settle this matter is to find out who killed mr. camp no of course I follow us yes and right now we have the prime witness sitting upstairs yes witness who can testify we must do better than that luckily we have a pretext for an immediate exploration you can go there to get your raincoat right now yes well I'll be damned no client no fee no nothing just for the dog with a wide skull for brain room I will be down you Oh very sloppy I would have waited ten more paces before I started you Victor talento no comment I'm not a reporter I'm not interested okay well if you're out for a midnight stroll forget it so I interrupted but if you're headed for something you want to keep private you ought to know you got a homicide dick on your tail now look don't look around or scream or anything like that I don't know I'm telling you this your good deed for the day no I'm not you good when I'm out Dowson for Nero Wolfe who hired Wolfe to investigate no good question he says it needs the practice sorry Maya just trying to gather a scene I can't help you a woman phoned me and I arranged to meet her but she has nothing to do with this business and I have I have no right to expose it any embarrassment damn it I can't be sure shaking that man off or me you mean you'd follow me too sure I need practice myself too bad you won't reciprocate I see you've earned your reputation as scum good one you are the one who was about to expose your lady friend you're supposed to meet a three blocks from you you might be willing to go tell her I'm not coming sure where's the appointment for what the woman's name is jewel Jones she's extremely pretty and she'll be at the southeast corner of Christopher and Grove at midnight tell her I'll get in touch with her tomorrow right I see the problem is how would I know I'm not shaking hands with a murderer have a nice night Miss Jones Victor who are you Victor sent me with a message now I've an teed up half of his name half for your name now it's your turn who are you I'm gonna count to ten one two three four my name is jewel Jones his name is Victor - lantau that's better as some things I need to tell you Damir right here I gave her the whole crop and by the time I finished she developed a healthy frown dammit come and put me in a taxi that's fine but we got a taxi we're gonna go straight to Niro Wolf's place we are you crazy well it's either that or I can take it to a homicide detective named Stebbins and you can discuss with him why it is that you and Victor talento did not want to be seen together we could always do that it's your choice of course I'll discuss it with you I wouldn't mind that we'll go somewhere see I know you're the kind of man I could talk I'm feeling you could follow me in about four or five hours and your voice could call refrigerator but we don't have time for that now of course that didn't stop her from trying and I was feeling quite Brotherly by the time we got to the brownstone on 35th Street good evening mr. Goodwin good evening mr. Brannon Miss Jones how did you conduct Miss Jones into the front room she's here to marry mr. Woolf ah well I see you've made some advances with my dog the creature was alone and whining in your room and hungry I brought company but before I introduce you to miss Jo Jones attendance of 29 on the street of men can't deny that yet you produce a female I can chase her out if you'd like but well you know I would have grilled her myself but let me tell you something would have been far too risky confound it Britta I see can you tell us what the dog's name is that's funny you're asking me what your own dog's name is fully obviously he knows you well and he belonged to mr. can so you know mr. camp well what is the dog's name well gee Bootsy oh heavens no other name not that I know and your name is jewel Jones yes I sing in a nightclub but I'm not working right now believe me mr. wolf if I knew anything that could help I'd be perfectly willing to tell you because I'm sure you're the kind of man that understands here oh I am i me I try to understand so you knew mr. Kampf intimately not lately now for the past two months but for nearly a year we were as you say when did you see him last intimately at all about a month ago he came to the club and spoke to me there there was no quarrel what was their quarrel about do you know mr. talento intimately how I used to live there with mr. Taranto no I never live with a man I had the second-floor apartment but about two months ago I got a little apartment on East 49th Street so you know the others too mr. Meighan mr. Chaffee and mr. alarmed I know Ross and Jerry but who was Megan he's a tenant at Twentynine Arbor Street second floor oh well sure that's the floor I had I hope they fixed that damn table for him I just hate furnished apartments don't you yes in principle yes I do I - I take it now that you have your own furniture supplied by mr. cab I see you didn't know field camps not supplied by it a great big no by mr. Chaffee mr. alland no and no look mr. wolf a friend of mine was mighty nice about that furniture and we'll just leave it at that I could report the rest of it but it wouldn't get you any further than it did wolf around 1:30 I took it a 10th Avenue and put her in a taxi ah where's Bugsy no no aah no aah where's jack aah Donald Fritz's worker why you don't like well that's not true but if it means you can't blame my mummy fine Kramer will be here tomorrow with a writ to take him away anyway no now I offer up 20 to 1 he'll be here before noon it was roughly my own estimate the probability seemed unfair manner to settle this obligation that you have brought upon us so I found inspector crime I arranged for you to be there throughout this fatuous performance in the police have in mind well there you may flush out perhaps someone more contributors than that volatile Debbie wrap well I'll have to look that up but I resent it on principle oh what a beautiful boy what's his name ah Bootsie Oh No what a hell of a name who did that do you boy you should have bit you in you kidnap oh you gotta run there pearly it's women who buy me you know I've often wondered who bites you what bites you where they bite you would know hey where is the body the bottom of the stairs the tenant socked him in his apartment and then used the leash to finish him took a lot of nerve to carry the body down the stairs to the lower hall of course the dog was outside at the time man the street talento chased him out so Toledo's clean no nobody's clean but was kolento did it he just put the dog in the vestibule first drag the body down and then let him out when he left ah that required a lot of thinking there pearly anything wrong with it depends on the dog and how the dog responds there wasn't any blood then that's how I'm buying come on already prep the tenants about time hello Bootsie oh god damn it I told you not to speak so he did I'm sorry I forgot do you want to try it again no that's all come on you said in your statement that you you didn't know the dog what yeah you said that you thought it was a stray so you chased it away I was in a hurry I'm in a hurry now the district attorney wants to see me downtown yes but good man Hades well take a look at the dot now Pat it Pat it yourself you ever seen it before no a Labrador can't be expected to go for a man's throat they're not that kind of dog thanks I'll remember it come on Alan the London the dog on a leash went to the party at Phil Kemp's I didn't try to hurt if it's all agreed well what do you try to do frame me we're making around here mr. Alan we just wanted to include you okay okay padam didn't hello beautiful oh no your mass just gone what gone for good anything else come on I'm working I like to use the morning light that's all paint come on often given the damn dog I'm willing to give a detailed analysis of the dog's conduct it will take about a week go to hell take the other dumb mutt with you dude thanks for what now pivot on my gap oh you'll learn it brother mom know you're not serious [ __ ] find books I'll come back and get him and I'll be very reasonable there's more where that money came from I'll be right back AJ getting information was gonna be very tricky my plan was to let the tenants assume after seeing you the dog in Perley Stebbins that I worked with the homicide division but that meant I couldn't bring up jewel Jones because the cops might not have got around to her yet I've told you a dozen time all right who's the previous tenant before him I've told you a girl had it I told you she was a fine artist I told you she was the girl that gave me the job at the nightclub where I work die like a dog that's what he did both Phil died like a dog did she know Philip keV who do guess so sure she did poor fell tight like a dog like a dog I tell you mr. Meighan yes um sorry I just need to go over I need to recheck a few seen you before yeah when I was a neighbor Wolf's office yeah uh yeah I'm often there on business right now I'm here on business say how did you come to take this apartment hi mr. Meighan you know you might have omitted something important I'm a commercial photographer from Pittsburgh two years ago I married a girl nor it Ryan seven months later she left me she left Pittsburgh too anyway I couldn't find her and her family didn't hear from her uh-huh did you go to that please no I didn't want to you want a better reason but that's mine ask him it gone three weeks ago I go to a show at the Art Institute there was an oil a big one three mares in a pasture there were three women in it and one of them was my wife I recognized her right away what'd you do the artists signature said Ross Chaffee the catalog said he lives in New York and so I came here he fed me this line Teddy used so many different models in his pictures that he couldn't remember which was which it was so phony I got a little tactless well I'm a photographer I might forget a mileage it's for me for a day but this this dolly she sat with him for at least a month and so it was a phony coming in the apartment him I seen a sign and said it was apartment four let so I rented it I wanted to be as close to Chaffee as I couldn't all the people that came to see him there were models of course talento Owen and some guy the chappie says buys his stuff a mr. Bronstein ah hmm what did you learn from my Philip camp nothing I've already told you that I've never seen or heard of him I've told you that twice hmm all right uh what would you say if I said to you that you have been seen with him and all right sir yeah dirty liar My dear sir do you mean to say you think I'm lying there those who find it hard to believe mr. Chaffee that you couldn't remember who modeled for such an important painting to what end what the deep design like cherishing look mr. Chaffee I don't expect a man like you to pass our dart just for the hell of it but any dirt connected with this murder is coming out and if you're keeping any for yourself well then you're a bigger fool than you look quite a speech Thanks now you make one you have my opinion of camp whom I knew quite well he was in some respects admirable but he had his full share of faults yes I gather despite his inheritance he was not free with a buck yes that and he had a peculiar look a cruel sense of humor but that's hardly a reason to be killed oh look I'm losing my morning light I tragedy yeah hey guys sorry how many days I see a dress well thank you very much you've been most helpful hmm satisfactory good man shake my hand it's just to say something no I did not know ah well then proceed so I thought your interests were elsewhere I went at 29 hours Street I reported when I came to the end he asked no questions instead he opened his eyes and started giving orders holy way a heady I called the audience titute of Pittsburgh the show that was seen by Megan ended a week yesterday the picture was lent by Herman Bronstein of New York the same Herman Bronstein that mr. Meighan saw at 29 Arbor Street the picture was sent back by Express four days ago well so get him no I don't think so he may be a poop why don't I go to the residence without phoning pictures probably there now if I can't get in you could always fire me I'm thinking of resigning anyway so how are you since it was my idea he had his doubts but he bought it i explained to mrs. Bronstein that a client of mine wanted to photograph three mayor's in a pasture for his collection when I had invented all the identification she required she led me through the arch into a room not quite as big as Madison Square Garden speak oh well that's a hell of a way to answer the phone yes or no I've seen the picture I wouldn't thought the stallion had it in them how it glows with color and light adds as if you can feel and see the blood pulsate under the warm skin it's shut up yes or no yes as you've met mrs. Meighan would you like to meet her again I would Oh Hachi you know I wasn't sure I should see you but I couldn't resist Kadal I just came from how Bronstein's a partner where I saw the most interesting painting what yes huh come in and tell oh sorry but I'm not so sure I should see I am afraid of young mares I was kicked by one once it's all wait here while you get dressed wear something Yelawolf dislikes red but uh go on or I'll go get Richard Meegan don't call me mrs. Meighan this is me good don't call me mrs. Meighan I am only stressing the fact that your your identity is not a matter of discussion anymore you are legally mrs. Richard Megan now sit down please Wolfe was in as bad a humor as she was he had been compelled to tell Fritz to postpone lunch you are a competent liar madam and you're off and denial last night of knowing mr. Meighan was more than competent now when did Miss Chaffee tell you that your husband was in town looking for you I didn't say he had don't be preposterous when the police learned that it was you well they don't have to learn about me do that fooi wait why didn't I think of this before you're a detective you help people in trouble and I'm in trouble I'll pay you to help me not now not ever Miss Jones now when did mr. Chaffee tell you that your husband was looking for you well you won't even listen to me well if you say something intelligent I bite my husband was jealous about me before we got married and after he got worse it got bad really bad finally it got so bad I left I came to New York found a job and made friends I modeled for Ross and Phil camp found me a job singing I thought I was safe and then all of a sudden Rossville was me and tells me that my husband is here I begged him not to tell an idiotic strategy the only reason my husband wants to find me is so he can kill me has he ever killed anyone I didn't say anyone I said me I don't know what it is men just go for me did mr. lund go for you mr. talento did he go for you they're friends of mine they said they wouldn't tell them they didn't know I don't pay you $40 to start well that's just to start I'm not just in trouble I'm in danger of my life really I am you're not listening get mr. Charlie no I don't want him to know nonsense everyone will have to know everything is a mr. Chaffee yes mr. wolf would like to speak to you mr. Chaffin eat to speak to you and the other tenants of 29 Arbor Street as soon as possible of course it's important well if you want to take less time then round them up and get them all together and bring them here all at once yes how should I know how you're going to do that but I could suggest that if mr. Meighan is barking that you tell him that his wife is here no response they killing us taking truly an affecting sight greetings before you ask I will be happy to discuss my split personality as a homicide dick in a private eye after you've spoken with mr. Wu now you go climber oh well with Miss Jones theory that her husband might kill her right on the spot and the fact that one of you did kill poor Phil I've taken a precaution now the gun is loaded as you can see it's just a precaution one never knows please right this way I kept Miss Jones in the front room until I had them seated in the office anywhere with the red chair that's it just just you you little [ __ ] call rose Don good one don't go she had the damsel-in-distress bit down to a science on the other hand I had begun to believe that she had a reason right this way well now that this hubbub is over I'll proceed I have not been hired to work on this case the only client I have is a dog and he came to my office by inadvertence inspector creamer sir I suppose this was to be expected luckily mr. Kramer your usual chair is unoccupied you know the gentleman of course but not the lady her current name is jewel Jones the legal name is mrs. Richard Meegan Meegan Meegan zhh wife the one in the picture how did you get hurt that can wait no interruptions no demands for 30 minutes no I don't have to if you interrupt again by heaven you can take all these people down to your headquarters or whatever and you can happen out yourself hmm but before I come to that one point I offer no comment to your guile with mr. Meighan I will even concede that there was a flavor of gallantry in it but what you could not know was that mr. Meighan had been to see me that morning what Megan hired unit havens I knew something wasn't right I refused the job of course and he stormed out in a temper taking mr. Goode Wooden's raincoat instead of his own we know all that what I want to know what happened he doesn't bail mr. Nigam some two hours ago I learned that you maintain that you have never met Philip calf I would like to hear it straight from you did you ever meet Philip can't know you don't wish qualify that No then whose raincoat hangs on the rack in that hallway what are you talking about the raincoat that you brought into this house is in the hall now there on the rack have heard of your tricks wolf what did you plant something on it I will now ask the question that no one has had the wit to ask in this whole investigation why did the dog follow mr. Goodwin through the turmoil of the city mr. Goodwin is willing to believe as many men are that he is irresistible both two dogs and women and doubtless his vanity impeded his intellect or he would have reached the same conclusion that I did the dog did not follow him the dog followed the coat oh that smells how do you account for comps dog following Meegan's coat I couldn't I can't however was unquestionably mr. tamps dog therefore it couldn't have been mr. Miggins coat it is better than a conjecture that it was mr. kemp's coat what are you talking about wolf where did you get it mr. Meighan [ __ ] come on come on it's a dirty frame that it is mr. camps can be readily established by examining it sir you can't prove the Dexter coat that I left here wolf I warn you sir you were in deadly peril mushiya huh it was she to put you against me huh have you any explanation of how mr. counts coat came into your possession no and I don't need any you big clod then you are done for sir for your own coat must be somewhere and I think I know where it is in the police laboratory if you won't explain how you got mr. counts coat then explain how he came to wearing yours I knew it I knew he wanted to kill me so he killed how do you know that madam Phil told me he wanted me to come back to him and I wouldn't you know nothing and then he comes and tells me that if I don't come back and be with him he'll tell dick how to find me so I promised I would and he laughed he said he had to go see dick again anyway because dick had gone off with his raincoat Phil thought it was funny the dick had his raincoat and he had dicks wife I'll bet that's just what he told you huh I bet he told you that I was coming back to him and he thought that was a good trade a raincoat for a wife she's in rice all right I want everybody down at the station everybody including you if there's one thing on earth Nero wolf will not be in the room with a woman in eruption full report at the stage everybody all right come on you can do your crying downtown you you you you

Channel: Usse Harr

Views: 447,131

Rating: 4.7821078 out of 5

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Id: lMDuwM3hcdY

Length: 44min 47sec (2687 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 25 2015