A little about Kari the funeral director

hey guys so I'm feeling a little tired I'm gonna be brutally honest here so today was the day I was just chilling with my kids and then three and ball means later the plans changed for the day so welcome to the world would be the funeral doctor wanted to give a shout out while I'm starting to a little girl named Raya her mom is a funeral director and she just had a cute video recently she posted about what her mom does for a living and it was so sweet you know what do they say from the mouths of babes the just her perspective on what her mom does it was super sweet so Raya you are amazing and so adorable I've also had some people ask for a Victor update so wanted to read a little email I got from him this is Victor Daniel the guy from California who has brain cancer and let me know if there's too much background noise I tried to sit outside and everybody seems to want to be driving by right now thank you so here is our Victor do you know updates hi Kari I am doing fine now but I was not feeling well last week my body was weak and tired from my cancer my doctor said the cancer is spreading all over my body Thank You Tamra my doctor told me I might not live long and I might pass away at the end of this year my biggest fear or my biggest wish is for you to embalm my body for my funeral service when my time comes and you are the best person in the world Kari I hope you meet me soon on your embalming table when I pass away at a young age so yeah Victor is plugging along but declining and it's just a slow and steady unfortunately decline for him let me put so I can make sure to be looking at video or comments as they're coming through and so I can make sure to answer new questions I've got every all the old questions so today was kind of gonna be about getting to know me a little bit more so I had some people submitted some questions that were just general hey what's your favorite this what's your favorite that what would you like to do you know where would you like to travel things like that like to go to Italy we'll throw that out there what was my first funeral experience okay I'll get to that here in a minute you know favorite TV shows bones and the TV show numbers did you guys watch that it was such a great TV show I still will watch that on Amazon Prime stuff I am in Southwest Michigan near Grand Rapids comas you area and yes I go to church in Kalamazoo area it's a large Community Church oh you're so welcome there Beth so music I listen to everything why do you not record and blow me a family I would say if it's okay just there's too much legal anybody in the family could come back and see you anybody somebody could sue you for watch the video and then sue you afterwards claiming it was you know too much mental anguish like it's just too big of a thing to do so I'm gonna be doing another embalming video coming up here hopefully giving a little more eye information about embalming and as much as I can do for an embalming so somebody asked me what got me interested in the business and back in the day I needed a job when I was 16 and so I started working at the funeral home fast-forward a couple years and I was trying to decide where to go and realized that I was so comfortable there and so I gave it a whirl and one or two families into what was my apprenticeship I said this is it this is for me I knew I can tell you the exact moment where I was who I was helping and then there's a few more families that same summer that kind of solidified what I wanted to do and I can tell you just everything about those families I think every first family you serve is so special to you because it is it's your first time doing you know doing certain things and going through certain emotions and so they they just set on your heart a little more than other other families maybe down the road but those first families are always so critical my first funeral experience so when I was three my grandpa died and I do remember going to the funeral home for the visitation and standing there and and it what I don't remember a ton about it but enough hardest embalming gosh you guys are asking lots of good questions so that was my first funeral experience I I had more when I was younger but I think it's the ones when I had that I had when I was in my mid-teens that what probably helps me more mortuary programs to avoid I don't know if any I'm a strong advocate for learning in school just because being around a group of like-minded people it's so important and I think it's to be around and be encouraged and be friends and make those connections in a class full-time with other students I think is really important it's not that you can't learn you know doing an online program but I say just just do it if you're gonna jump in just do it go to school pack up your bags pack up and just go and do it if you can so it's not for everybody have they involved at night hundreds of times so yes angry penguins did not hold me hostage how did I handle the first involvement I watched I remember it very clearly and the trokar I didn't know anything about aspirating and so that first embalming I was like whoa what are we doing with that trocar and where is that going and so that part of it startled me otherwise it was very fascinating I really was interested in the what we were doing and why we were doing it and so to me it was curiosity and and getting to learn more about this thing that fascinated me so much so how do I have a work in personal life balance so I am married and I think that is important to have a team whether it's your spouse whether it's a close group of friends whether it's your parents your brothers sisters somebody is to have a support system around you that can support you through the hard days at work but also if you have kids then they can help you like today I got called in that I didn't know that I was gonna go in today but I had to and so I have great babysitters that I can call and turn to and I have a lot of great people I can rely upon and I have a husband who can jump in when I need some support and some backup and I do the same for him with his business and his work he is not in this business but I think when you're married to a funeral director you are in the business sort of because both of your life's are disrupted if you get a death call and yes my kids know what I I do and if I go to work they say mom who died and they'll pray for them sometimes and they wonder if we drive a cemetery hey is that where you work or they just they know that that's what I do I don't think they get the full realm and the full aspect of it but they no and and know that somebody has died and so mommy has to work so how do you have a work personal life balance so this has nothing to do I believe with the career it all has to do with your employer if you are working for the right person then you will have the balance if you're working for a place that has a one specific view and you know kind of how you should be working then you know if they want you to work every evening and they want you on call all the time or they want you to go out on industry removal then you're not going to get the balance that you need but if they have the funeral directors and all this on their staff supporting that is going to work the visitations and work everything then you can have that balance so it's it's having the right employer for you and it may take working for one or two funeral homes to find then it's not that it's a bad funeral home it's just that it's not the right you know home for you may be my accent I don't know that I have an accent I'm nasally I do know that I'm nasally but I don't know that I have an accent I think that's interesting when people say that so what what words am I saying that are kind of funny I guess what is my typical day like so because I'm a freelance funeral director so I do trade embalming I go into lots of funeral homes and do and ball means I go and cover funerals and visitations and arrangements or I go in you know cover the office for a day for people or do vacation coverage so when they go on vacation so my I don't really have a typical day you know one day a week my kids are with me I try and do time slot where I work on video stuff where I go and I'll do a tour or I go and connect with people or I do some of my customer experience coaching and that I do with funeral homes or I try and you know respond to I try and respond to every comment that people leave on my YouTube and I try to respond to every email that people send me that takes that takes a lot of time so I try and do all that just because I really strongly believe in educating about this business and helping people brought in their view on the business and on the makeup portion ooh Danielle good question I mean that's a big one for theater for funeral directors so someone said have I ever worked to canine funeral no I have not and I think I wouldn't be able to handle it like I would be an emotional wreck like animals I was always one of those like anybody can die in a movie but one animal dies and I'm done like I'm just a wreck so I feel like I would not be able to hold my crap together to do a canine funeral but how awesome of a thing that they do such honor and and Solomon is for that life and for their service and so I think they're cool so what would I want to do I I thought of this earlier because I knew someone asked this question as of right this moment I would be buried I would be embalmed even though that kind of changes sometimes why I'm embalming I'm like why why do people do this you know I just wonder nope that's my neighbor's house behind me Paul so but I feel like if I was buried to know that I was for sure dad I would want to be embalmed I don't know I think I have the same fears as anybody else it's like I want to make sure I'm really dad if I'm gonna be buried or I don't really want to be cremated cuz I don't know and I just don't I just don't want I don't like thinking about the whole death thing period it's just I'm not comfortable with it I just none of the options are the best options yes you can shadow people you just need to find someone that will allow you to do it so just go knocking on doors and ask and see if somebody will let you so one thing I want to say about this profession and somebody has asked some questions about going to school and being interested so just because you're interested in the fashion doesn't mean you have to run off and get your March or a science license there are so many areas within the business you can work without going to more choice goal without getting your license and so you need to look into all these other aspects you can work in graphics you can work in pre-need you can work just making arrangements some states allow that you don't have to be a funeral director to make arrangements you can run the funeral without having your license as long as there's a licensed person for certain parts during the service you can you know work for cemeteries you can work for crematories you can do the cosmetics you can get people to rest and in their caskets you can do aftercare with families you can do the social events like lunch and learns where you know people can come and learn about the funeral home and things so there's all these other aspects within if you know home you can work in without having your license so you explore those as well if you're not set and committed on one working with bodies or you know wanting to get your license or some of those things like there's so many other areas so let's see what does my hubby think of my job you know people were asking that Anke thinks it's great for what it is it's a-you know it's what I do it's what I love it's Who I am we met you know the part point where I had was already in the business and it was part of who I was so if he wanted to date me he kind of had to date the business and he's he's learned all about it and he loves business and he loves kind of the inner workings of business I don't love that aspect of the job so he likes to learn about that part I like to learn about the people and then Balmain and things like that and so we both you know we go to conferences or go in and we can both talk from both sides of the the business I guess so what do I hate about the job I one of the things I hate working visitations in terms of just standing on your feet for a long periods of time it just gets old you know just my feet hurt I like talking to people I like the social part of it but Oh your feet hurt late night calls or getting up at 2:00 and then you're up for the whole day things like that you know working with families that are just emotionally heavy and hard or is hard have I ever thought about throwing in the towel yes I I would be silly if I didn't say yes you know you work with some families that just kind of destroy your heart for a couple days and you think why am I doing this I should do something that it makes me happy I think the part of it that makes me want to throw in the towel is I get anxiety about all the insane ways you could die that we see people die and so we understand that it can happen to anybody anytime anywhere you know guy it was started raining me ran out like shut the shut on his door or something or shut the door on his shed and he runs out into his yard slips on what grass and breaks his neck like it just you can't foresee these moments you can't foresee these things happening that we are also sceptic Allah death at every moment hey Donald and so you know when you start thinking about that because you're around death all the time you get a little you know it's you're a little more anxious and you're a little more nervous for your family and for your loved ones and always kind of on the lookout I feel like I live on defense all the time kind of making sure things are safe and trying to watch out for things because of that I feel like some days I just want to step away from the business and not be around the death and not be around just thinking about it all the time so that would be when I would throw in the towel have you ever thought of writing a book I feel like I would have to have some new in ideas or some new thoughts about them it's not just writing about my my encounters because people have done that and so I would need something new so is it hard to deal with very obese bodies it is hard in the aspect that it takes just more creativity sometimes in terms of just moving that person and in some of the situations you get put in with that I have a video on obesity and then Little Miss funeral and I talked about obese working with people who are obese and you know it's a really touchy subject and I get a lot of really bad backlash on it but when you're standing working on somebody who's four or five 600 pounds even it does take a lot more work just like you know there's there's there's thin bodies that take a lot more work even but you know you have to have difficult conversations with families that they they need a casket that's larger and conversations about needing extra pallbearers or maybe the casket won't even fit in the hearse and you have to use a special vehicle and so it's it's these conversations that are they're hard and and the family doesn't want to have to have them you don't want to have to have them it's just hard sometimes but you know every every family has a challenge and so it's not just you know obese bodies that are added an additional anything so see harness you know experience for those we some folks we're asking for a video on suicide deaths so I'm gonna work on that as well I'm trying to read all your comments as are coming in UK funerals what do I think of it so UK funerals I've connected with a funeral home over in England and I'm looking at dates and planning a trip over so I can wear a top hat and hopefully lead a funeral I'm kind of excited about this so my husband sitting over here and yeah he said go ahead and book the trip if you really want to so I'm kind of excited because I really want to see firsthand some of those things like the using of the coffin and you know it's 80% cremation in a lot of areas because they're running out of space because it's an island and so just their creativity that they've had to do over there and the ceremony behind everything I'm just whoo it's awesome I'm really excited to get to go see it firsthand so video from the deceased viewpoint you've actually read my mind on that comment because of one of my videos coming up that I'm working on so theory on the tristate funeral home I'm guessing you mean the Tri State Crematory and Georgia that happens about was that like 15 years ago or so with the bodies all in the back where they threw the bodies out in kind of the woods and stuff instead of cremating that's what you mean theory on it this is actually happening a little more frequently where we're finding funeral homes that have not cared for the people properly because they didn't have the funds to because they were misappropriated and you know it's just I think like any business any industry any career type thing there's there's people who go down the wrong path and once they go once or twice it's easy to just go full-bore down that wrong path have you ever worked for a company who dealt with donated organs or tissues no I have not I have been in a lot of talks recently with Gift of Life and learning more about what they do and the process and and how they operate and I have a video on that coming up because I was more I was very interested in what they do and how they procure tissue and organs and how that all works and you know because when a funeral director gets somebody that's donated the body you know it takes more effort and it takes more skill and it takes just some extra everything to take care of that body and so sometimes it's frustrating for us as Funeral Directors but you know we have to look at the fact that this person gave a gift people are being saved lives are being saved so what is an extra hour two of our time when a life is being saved so it's getting a new perspective and trying to help other funeral directors understand that as well and not get stuck on just the time part of it what do you say to people if they have an unexpected loss and they're not financially prepared life insurance get ahead of it you know I can't say then enough you know at funeral homes most all of them require a payment upfront now so you have to go take out a loan you have to get credit cards and and figure out how to pay for things but I think the biggest thing is to step back and see how much money you really truly can put forth towards the situation and then look at the options based around that it's not that funeral homes are being cruel by saying hey it's going to cost us much if you want to do the full thing it's that a funeral home is a business and if they start giving a deal for this person or a deal for that person then everybody's going to get the deal and then the funeral home is gonna go out of business because they haven't made their money that they need to so it's it's kind of a catch-22 you know with with a funeral home so they look evil because they're charging money but they have to charge money to be in business so it's kind of like well what do you want thank you David that's so sweet I've missed a bunch of questions I feel like going through here so I just saw comments about a chihuahua and I'm like wait a minute I didn't have a chihuahua so I'm not sure how does reconstruction work how do you learn it is really a trial and error and hands-on so the more you work with like the wax and the cosmetics the better you become there are classes and conferences and things that we can go to to work hands-on with models or work with cadavers which are people that have donated their body to science and say we can work on those bodies to work on reconstruction and I know there's people that I couldn't at this point my career have done a lot more for back in the beginning of my career so in my state there is still more burial so most states are still more burial cremation is really more popular out along the coastlines you got like we're gone and California and stuff so yes I would really like to know about african-american bodies I have no idea what that even means African what do you want to know about african-american bodies so yeah I've had families yell at me not many one woman yelled at me when her son died and it was she wasn't yelling at me she was just I think upset and so I knew that but I had a family yell at me when I was asking about payment because I wasn't the funeral hall director that worked with them so I did look like I was coming in just to talk about the money but I needed to speak to them about money and so I just caught them at a bad time yeah can a body be buried in the person's backyard so yes and no it's a great area it depends on your Township and your state and what the laws are you can apply for a permit but so like a mayor it has to you have to have one acre that's designated for that burial in addition to where your home sits it's always on the title and the deed and things for your house every time that property is sold you know it'll say I don't know I picture like there's a state of stamp that says dead body on it and it's like stamps the title the D or whatever which yes is not the case but resale value you know thinking of those things and you may have homesteads that have been in your family for hundreds of years and so it's you know it may be good for you to bury on that ground because you know that that's going to be in your family for years and years and years so thank you guys all for all the telling me how much you'll have my videos and things I'm still just humbled that anybody watches anything I put out there it's crazy to me Thank You tad let's see let me do I'm trying to keep this around thirty minutes so I'm gonna do one or two more question how often do people come in and playing around funerals people do it all the time every day and at all different ages you know twenty thirty year olds come in ninety one hundred year olds come in so everybody at different phases come in and plan and it may be just getting down biographical information but it may be doing the whole shebang and funding and everything so there's different options and different things you can do yes you can dress them you can be as hands-on as you want to be when it comes to the funeral of your loved one you just need to ask it just most people I don't think know that what our options just like taking your loved one home and having a visitation at home or having them at home with you you know in between visitation and service that's an option but you know if you don't ask you don't know how do I separate myself from work it's hard because a lot of times it comes home with you just kind of in your head and in your heart and sometimes you have quiet night but I think it's that way with any work you know even a telemarketer you're gonna have days where somebody is just rude to you and mean to you and you just take it to heart it's being able to release and not getting as connected to every family as you would initially think you're going to or as much as you may in the beginning and so time it's either gonna make you or break you you're either going to become too invested in every family that you can't release when you leave or you're gonna be able to be on set you know I think about families and I stay connected with some families after and it just it depends on the family it depends on the situation and you find the balance over time do people want to crawl in the casket they buy I've never had anybody asked to crawl in the casket and I would tell them no just because you're not supposed to reuse an interior once a body has been in it so it probably just means a deceased body but I just take it as let's not touch the inside people you know let's not get inside it's gonna be for whoever it's meant to be for so prefer working as director or embalmer I you know it depends on the day I kind of like going into work with my hair not done and mismatched pants and shirt no makeup or going right from you know working out to go into and bomb because I don't have to worry about anybody in the public seeing me but I also love working with the families I love working and caring for them and loving on them and helping them and making sure things go very smoothly for them I also love that part so it just depends on the day in the mood I'm in I guess I'm if I'm feeling like a recluse and wanted to stay down in the prep room so how bad do they smell bodies depends on the body you know the body decaying or decomposing has its own smell but the gastric and the poop and pee and stuff that all smells just as as bad so can you make a badly decomposing body viewable yes for the most part viewable for the family they may not be great but they can be good enough for the family to do a viewing with heavy cosmic cosmetics and things at least they can view them to have a little goodbye but because of smelling things if that can't be controlled then you can't have the open casket for the public with this now how does the PTA in school any weirdness I'm not to that point so my daughter's training kindergarten next year so no you know I don't talk too much only with like my close friends and as I get more comfortable with friends I talk a little more about what I do or I kind of like that I'm not Mysterio typical funeral director and that I can say hey my mail lady actually the other day drove she was like hey are you and she goes can I just ask you what you do for a living and I said why she said you have some interesting mail and because I do trade work I get envelopes you know I get checks from several different funeral homes and mails so she sees all these funeral home envelopes coming to our address and she's like what do you do so she thought it was great to ask what I did and me to explain and so it's kind of funny if someone gets shot very bad can they still have an open casket you know I have seen some of the most amazing restorative our things where somebody had no head and they they meet a head and everybody is not skilled that way I'd like to think maybe I could do that I've not attempted a restoration that large before and so how do you it's so you know there's there's a lot of things you can do and there's a lot of restoration that can be done and wish I can share pictures about those things but I can't it's only for our teaching purposes but no I don't ever want to own a funeral home ever yes Bobby buttons I would love to come to the UK and if I do come I'm gonna totally have to plan a meet and greet or something try and get together with some of my UK people is that your dad in the window no it must be my neighbor if he's peeking out cuz that's my neighbor's house so I'm gonna do one last question before I have to sign off have you ever turned down a body never I've never said no because we didn't want to care for the body I have recommended a family used somewhere out for financial purposes that maybe they could not afford to pay at our place and I knew that they could get maybe a lower rate somewhere else and so I helped connect them to some place that they were more comfortable at because in the end you don't want this grief on top of this huge financial burden it's always going to be a financial burden yes but I would rather to me fee feel more comfortable at the end with you know the amount that they paid then being way over their head on top of the grief so oh my goodness you left work her that's bless your heart that's crazy oh I love it so yeah so it's I've never turned anyone down I've helped people connect with the funeral home maybe they should be with so alright I'm gonna have to cut this off though I try and keep my videos down to around thirty minutes here I am going to respond to all the questions though that I didn't get to maybe I'll do another video responding to that have you ever involved African American yes actually today I did so yes I will respond and get answers to all the rest of the videos who isn't man on your roof I have no idea you must have seen my neighbor over on his house so I will talk to you guys later I thank you guys so much for support and encouragement and for sticking with me and excuse I've been gone for a little while we had three birthdays in our house in the last two weeks plus Father's Day yesterday was my birthday actually it was a milestone birthday so I'll let you guess what number birthday that was for me my daughter said I was 14 so will will give that to her I don't think I'd want to go back to 14 but so thank you guys for support and encourage me and sticking with me you if I can figure out how to keep and then and

Channel: Kari the Mortician

Views: 48,118

Keywords: kari the mortician

Id: mZvIku9xOMQ

Length: 36min 40sec (2200 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 27 2018