A Dying Man's Story | Minutes With | UNILAD @LADbible

all those hopes you had your daughter getting married being a grandad seeing your nine-year-old have a 16th birthday and 18th birthday they just disappear [Music] when i first went to doctor i really had no idea what the problem was he gave me a blood test which is called a psa test and every man has this stuff called psa and they would score normally between one and three my father had prostate cancer it was curable his highest score at his peak was 12. when i came up the results of my prostate test my score was 342. prostate cancer as a cancer doesn't really have many side effects at first it's something inside you your prostate is something that's only really used for sex and what happens is you don't die of prostate cancer of the prostate you die because it jumps so in my case it's jumped to my chest and once it jumps to another part of your body that's the bit that kills you it goes to your spine it goes to your brain it goes to your lungs and that's why it's such a terrible killer because people don't realize they've got it then i embarked on a series of scans and biopsies and other tests and that took about two months before the fateful day when i sat in front of a urologist at a hospital and they looked at me and said i'm sorry but you might probably only live with two years you know he said don't think ten if you're lucky you might live three to four the first thing that my wife and i did was burst into tears and you know it was it was something i never absolutely expected at all and telling your father that statistically i'll probably be dead before him is not a great thing because one of the deals when you're a dad is that you die before your kids so my dad was about 83 at the time and you know to sit and tell him where i was going wasn't a fantastic experience for either of us um so having him told him and my brother then i had the really tough gig and that was telling my kids at the time my kids were 9 14 and 16. and um that on the sunday following my horrible uh reveal uh it was uh remembrance sunday and my youngest is in the scout so he did the usual bit of church parade and then we got home and i sat down and told them and you know my 16 year old there well basically everyone's bursting at tears and then i made a point and i said well she's going to play football now and i wanted to say to them that even though my life was possibly going to be cut very short right at that moment in time i was still dead i was still able to do things and we shouldn't get sad today and waste today because of what might happen tomorrow and then when i got home that night went to bed you start to realize that you can't dream we all dream ever since you can remember you dream all those hopes you had your daughter getting married being a grandad seeing your nine-year-old have a 16th birthday and 18th birthday they just disappear all the fun that you have helping them move into their first house it's just gone so all those dreams all those hopes to things that life is about as far as i was concerned have disappeared and i probably spent about two days just thinking poor kev you know what i won't have and then i spent about a month two months thinking actually where was kev but actually was my family you know my wife didn't marry me so that she could be on her own i started thinking all the things that i do you know without being sexist men's jobs you know i change the light bulbs and sort out a leaking pipe and get the cars serviced and cut the grass all those things you'd have to do you know when there's noise downstairs at night i'll be the one that goes downstairs and see what's going on now she's got to do that and so if you love someone that's quite tough and probably four days before chemotherapy started i went for a run and i'm running in tears because i remember thinking that this might be the last time i ever run as far as i was concerned i had a year of treatment ahead of me of chemotherapy radiotherapy and drugs and then if the doctor was right and i was gonna die in two years then i had a year of dying so if you think about it although i had two years to live really my life was already over on the following tuesday it was my first chemotherapy session other people in there it was their fifth or sixth or tenth and they looked like death you know no one was smiling it's a pretty awful place and i came home and i did what i thought people had to do after chemotherapy and i shuffled in out of the car up my driveway sat in a chair my wife bought me dinner ate that feeling miserable went to bed chemotherapy is exactly what you think it is you feel sick your toenails crack your tongue goes black your hair falls out prostate cancer the second you get it and start treatment takes so much away it takes away your dreams it takes away things like sex you can never have sex again think about that you know i'm a a virile man that likes sex like most people and it never happens again and that's quite a tough gig you grow man boobs you don't feel like a man anymore it was that defining moment i either give up at this moment in time and that's the end of my life and i do the bottle of jack daniels every night or i get up and try and have a life still and it was cold it was january i looked out the window and i said to my wife i'm going for a run i managed three miles it was slow it was horrible i felt sick i got back absolutely shattered but elated so i ran a bit more and i ran a bit further but never ran too far from home i always had a backpack now with a phone and clothes and food and contact details in case i passed out somewhere and after about four weeks of chemotherapy i went back and saw my doctor and i explained to him i'd entered the brighton marathon the year before when i was healthy and i wanted to run it and he said he said you can't run a marathon on chemotherapy he said no one runs a marathon your chemotherapy just because no one has doesn't say no one can and he sort of laughed and said well if you can train for it then you can do it so i kept on running and it was pretty grim have to say i remember in absolute agony feeling like i wanted to throw up the whole time but i used to visualize what it was like crossing the finish line and i just kept going and so on week 13 of chemo i put my foot on the start line of the brighton marathon with my friend jim who said he'd come and chaperone me and we did it and i ran the bright marathon in four hours 36 minutes which was about 50 minutes slower than the previous year when i run the brighton marathon which was my best ever marathon time because it goes to show you what being a year older and chemotherapy does for you and then that was on a sunday and on the monday a lady i know said look i'll get you a dodgy place in london marathon do you want to do it i said absolutely so two weeks later i ran the london marathon in four hours 26 so 12 minutes faster than i had two weeks before then i saw my doctor on the tuesday and he said well did you do the brighter marathon then i said well actually i showed him both medals and he kind of fell off his chair i said tonight so i'm going to do something else i said what's that i said there's this race called the uh marathon disables he said man subways what's that i said well i in real simple terms it's a marathon sunday a marathon monday a marathon tuesday double marathon wednesday marathon friday and a half marathon saturday in the sahara carrying everything on your back going over sand dunes at 200 feet high you're on your own you carry everything apart from water for the week some people say it's the toughest race on the planet and he looked to me and he said why would anyone want to do that let alone someone in your situation and i said i looked and i said well but i want to do it and he said i'll tell you what if you can train for it you can do it you know it was a year away and i that's a long time it's half my life but i thought i've got to have a go and do it so i ran loads of races in england very slow plodding had lots of problems with the drugs i was on they failed ended up in hospital again somehow i managed to get on the plane to go to morocco to start the mountainous cycles i got today for the long day i was halfway through a double marathon i was on my own assault flat my shoulders were bleeding from the pack i had massive blisters on my feet i just didn't think i'd go on i was in tears then i remember the people that sponsored me and supported me the doctors my friends my family a running coach i thought if i give up now all i'm proving is that when things get tough you just give up and so i kind of said you know tough up kev and just keep going so i kept going and finished that day and then finish the rest of the the week i think it came like 560th out of 1200 people and i went to my house and my wife had to move you into the next year then i said what do you say well it's given you a purpose to live that whole year every time something was going wrong in your life you focused on that it was all about having chemotherapy wasn't about trying to live two years anymore having chemotherapy was about trying to get to the mouth and disciples all the things you're doing all the times you're ill it was all about trying to get to that race so i went back and i ran the 2017 marathon ensembles i then run in iceland i ran in cambodia in albania in jordan cross desert i went back in 2018 and ran the mountain cyborgs again i'm back in 2019 around the marathon cyborgs again i think i'm the only person with any t4 cancer that's ever run that race four times but for me it became a battle every year i do that race means it's another year i'm alive so april 2020 come and the marathon disciples called off and i trained for it and i was ready for it and i thought what do i do well now i've raised money for prostate cancer uk ever since i was diagnosed i probably raised 250 000 pounds for them so far and i thought right now i bet they need my money more than ever so i decided to run it my back garden and i set off and i copied the previous year's marathon decibels so i ran a marathon on sunday a marathon monday a marathon tuesday double marathon wednesday a marathon on friday and a half marathon on and i back garden that's 3 600 laps in my garden i raised 33 000 pounds for charity in two weeks it was an opportunity to put my message out there and a man dies every 45 minutes you think of that you've watched half a football match a man dies of prostate cancer it's the biggest killer there is no bigger cancer you know full stop a lot of awareness of prostate cancer is just realizing that if you're in the high risk group so if you're black or if your dad's had it or your brother's had it or your uncle's had it you are more likely to have it so you need to just go to the doctor and have a check and force the doctor to do it because doctors don't always like giving you a test if you've got a partner and you're in bed with her and she's seeing you get up the night going for a wee she's the one that sometimes easily goes boy go to the doctor because if she wants you to keep living it's her job as much as yours to make sure you keep going when i was first diagnosed i was walking to work and i walked across trafalgar square where they have lots of pavement artists and it was early in the morning and there was yesterday's pavement artist stuff on the chalk and there was a saying and it said you only have two lives and the second one starts when you realize you only have one and i walked past it and stopped and i go back and read it again and that was it you know that's when i realized that we only have one life so running every day is one of those things that keeps me going and when i have those sad thoughts i straight away think about where i'm going to run tomorrow death doesn't really bother me in fact i'm honored i've lived three and a half years longer than i should so i'm very lucky you know i've i'm in our overtime bonus time and why would you be upset when you have a bonus so if someone told me tomorrow it was all over of course i'd be sad about it but i wouldn't really be upset i can't be cross when i had three years of amazing experiences you

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Id: aCH2lGqf0DY

Length: 13min 22sec (802 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 11 2020