9 College Essay Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them!)

what's up friends college I say guy here if we've never met before I'm the author of college essay essentials which is the number one book on college essays and I hope that's still true when you watch this video today I'm gonna share with you nine mistakes that I see students make in their essays all the time and I promise not to scream at you the entire time hope you enjoy number one students oftentimes will choose a common topic they'll make common connections I'll explain that in a second and they'll use common language and that's a surefire way to blend in what do I mean a common topic they'll write about basketball common connections how its taught them hardwork discipline and perseverance and they'll use common language like teamwork really does make the dream work or you know that's how I realize the true meaning of leadership instead choose an uncommon topic when possible make uncommon connections and use uncommon language let's say for example you don't even have an uncommon topic you've got basketball or write with well those uncommon connections are gonna be all the more important I want to know basketballs taught you the value of like healthy boundaries or I want to learn about how basketballs taught you the value of like democracy or better yet when you shouldn't value democracy when in fact you need to just take it to the rack right take it to the hole you don't need to actually listen anytime that you can in those connections sort of subvert conventional wisdom that's gonna help your paragraph stand out it's gonna help your essay stand out just to recap not common common common uncommon topics uncommon connections uncommon language second mistake that I see students make a lot is they you know they stick to the first topic that they pick let's say for example they were you know doing something in their English class and they're like oh this would be an interesting idea and they write on this and then they write like two drops in three - and they're like nine or ten drafts in and they're like I can't change my topic I'm already nine to ten drops in in economics this is called sunk cost bias which basically means that you love the things you've spent a lot of time with basically what I'm saying to you is like I've seen students write brilliant essays really fast when they found a new topic that suddenly allowed them to explore other parts of themselves quick example a student that I met this year basically spent eight or nine drafts trying to write about her relationship to her emotions but it wasn't quite working out so in conversation with her I was like is this feel like it's your best topic she's like I don't think it's working I was like you want to try something else she's like yeah she hit on a new idea and then she found the new topic that suddenly allowed her to explore like all these different parts of ourselves it was a montage which I'll talk to you about shortly and there's a beautiful essay another mistake I see students make all the time is they are writing about a challenge which can be a good thing but they oftentimes focus only or mostly on the challenge and they don't put enough energy into answering so what what colleges are really interested in is how did you metabolize the experience which is to say what did you do about it and what did you learn if you want a simple word budget for this rather than thinking of it as like you know 500 words on the challenge and like 150 words I'm like what she did about it and said split your essay into three parts right part one here's the challenge I faced and the effects on my life part two there should be a turning point what did you do about it if you can how did you work to get the needs that weren't getting met based on your challenge and then finally what did you learn to the experience how did you metabolize it what was the impact on you and potentially on others if you want to go more in depth with us the feelings and needs exercise which you'll find at a link below this video will help you walk through a simple 15 minute exercise that by the end of it could help you outline your entire personal statement so another thing that I see students do a lot is they try and force a narrative when a montage might work better let me define those a narrative essay tells the story where the events are causally linked you know my girlfriend broke up with me I got sad I sat in my room for a week and then I came out that's the narrative story I'm very not a great college I say by the way a montage is jumping around in space and time and talking about lots of different parts of you right so it's like I'm curious and I love working with my hands and I love helping others all this has led me to want to pursue this type of career right sometimes students choose like their biggest challenge that they've ever faced maybe like a bad grade they got or like you know the parents divorce is pretty common and they try and force that essay and make it work why because I think oftentimes students see a great essay that's written on challenges and they think oh I want the reader to have the kind of cathartic experience when they read my essay that I had when I read that essay so they'll pick their biggest challenge and try and force it to make it work often times though if they can kind of let that story go and move to more of a montage and I'll tell you how to do it in just a second suddenly there's like freedom you don't have to worry about like going super deep you can actually let go super wide and talk about lots of different parts of you how do you do this it starts with great brainstorming and if you click the link below you'll find some great exercises - how do you brainstorm lots of different parts of yourself and go why with a montage in order to make all those parts connect you're gonna need something that I call a focusing lens a focusing lens is simply a thematic thread that connects all the details that you want to share with your reader another mistake I see students making a lot is they put a thesis at the start of their essay sometimes even the word essay confuses students because they think ah this is the thing that I'm supposed to write for English class where I put my thesis at the start and then give supporting evidence you don't necessarily have to do that for your personal statement for your personal statement I think in fact your thesis can go at the end or not at all it can be implied what the main point is that you want the reader to get now I think it is important to have some sense in your mind of like what the story is that you want to tell but you don't necessarily need to make that explicit also because that kind of ruins the ending of your story imagine that you're watching a movie and it's about like a guy who wants to grow up and become a doctor and at the beginning the first thing he says to us is I've always wanted to be a doctor let me tell you why it's like well we know how this is gonna end another mistake students make is that they try to pack absolutely everything into their personal statements as though like this is the only conversation that they're gonna have with the school your personal statement is a conversation that you're gonna have with the reader but there are other parts of your application where you can talk about things like for example that cool experience that you had in the debate tournament or why you got that bad grade in physics or you know why you switch schools so what are those opportunities the activities list that's where you can do all your bragging so you don't actually need to necessarily brag in your personal statement the additional information section that's the place where you can talk about any extenuating circumstances any health issues that sort of thing so you don't have to waste that time in your personal statement another mistake that students often make is that they don't spend enough time on their supplemental essays especially their why us essay now for some schools they're why US essay is even more important in the personal statement because they're trying to figure out would the student be a great fit for our campus or not keep in mind that your YS si is not something that's gonna come from your brilliant beautiful brain it's actually a research essay so you're gonna need to spend a couple hours figuring out what it is about that school that you love and how it connects back to you here's a simple way to organize your research like fold a piece of paper in half or you know on a Google Doc just create two columns and in one label it stuff I have and in one label it stuff they have make a list of all the things that you want to show to the college and then make a list of all the opportunities available on that campus and then spend your paragraphs and your Y us weaving back and forth between what they have and what you have what they have what you have make the case that you and the school are a perfect match related to the y us please dear God don't screw up the name of the school the school colors with a mascot I know this seems kind of petty but like saying that you love red and yellow and that's why you want a 10 USC might kind of put them off why Google the USC colors and you'll see why it's like coming up someone's dog and being like oh my gosh I love your German Shepherd and they're like oh it's actually a Belgian Malinois and you're like oh don't give the school any reason to put you in the no pile finally waiting till the last minute I mean I know this is obvious but please don't do it here's a quick timeline hopefully maybe get a why us and maybe an extracurricular essay done over the summer so that when you're getting into fall you're not suddenly just starting the process when you're in the fall you're gonna be swamped with like your most responsibilities in your classes maybe you're retaking standardized tests and so much more trying it as much as you can done over the summer that's what I got thanks for listening you want more tips check out college I say guy.com if you'd like this video give me a little thumbs up and you can subscribe by clicking below and you'll get videos all the time peace

Channel: College Essay Guy

Views: 147,964

Keywords: personal statement, college essay, personal statement examples, how to pick a college, college interview, college admissions, college essay topics, why this college essay, how to write a college essay, writing, Common App, Common Application, factors in choosing a college, prep, college, harvard, princeton, yale, admissions, high school, learning, tutor, tutoring, essay, application, brainstorming

Id: C-tABh8vHYo

Length: 8min 17sec (497 seconds)

Published: Thu May 09 2019