7 Times You Were Grateful Enemies Were Dumb

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game developers are constantly patting themselves on the back about how intelligent their AI enemies are every time a new game comes out it's all about how your foes will be the smartest most sophisticated enemy in the history of video games but frankly that line of thinking is how we ended up with a alien isolation and be permanently elevated blood pressure oh it's gonna see me for the sake of our poor circulatory system sometimes it's a relief when the AI is just a little bit artificially unintelligent you know just to give us a break here are the times you were grateful for dumb AI and no spoilers this time unless you're fascinated by the rich internal life of enemy grunt number 431 your market to be this way cover is so important in video games that it has its own sub-genre the cover shooter is just like a regular shooter only it's full of waste high walls it doesn't take a genius to work out that you're far less likely to be Swiss cheesed with the enemy's bullets if you hide behind this cover and only occasionally pop out to shoot people credit where it's to your enemies tend to work that much out at least what they haven't realized is that you shouldn't pop up in exactly the same place every time at regular intervals because that hands something of a tactical advantage to the player what is this a spaghetti western now you guys carry on you're fine what's most ridiculous is that even by moving just a foot to the left or the right behind the cover they wouldn't be putting their precious heads directly under your waiting crosshairs someone should probably tell them who's their line manager is it this guy oh and wait until these guys hear about blind firing from cover which is going to blow their minds only it won't because they won't be being shot in the head you know what I mean [Applause] for the longest time AI drivers in racing games were more obviously robotic than a robot doing the robot after peeling away from the grid the AI drivers would all politely line up on the racing line and snake their way around waiting for you to intervene with your chaotic organic human driving skills take that skynet all that changed when race driver grid arrived promising not just action-packed racing but realistic human errors that would make the AI feel far more lifelike than in any racing game before it and every so often it would actually work with you applying psychological pressure while chasing the car in front causing them to Bulls it up in a totally convincing manner the rest of the time it just looked like there were terrible drivers or that they'd suddenly dropped their ham sandwich into the passenger footwell and crashed while trying to retrieve it hey the five-second rule still applies inside a racing car grids AI drivers will often just forget to turn corners and plow into the barriers or spin like they just yank the handbrake instead of the gearstick even when they're not in the middle of a battle with another car [Applause] all this works to your advantage as you sail past and try not to crash because you're laughing so hard stupid AI drivers driving is easy which is why I a human hereby resigned to become a professional racing driver forgot my ham sandwich when you're a video game goon guarding a secure facility you better hope you don't get stuck with what we call pit patrol this is where it's your turn to stand guard near a cliff edge high rooftop or pit that for all intents and purposes is bottomless which is tantamount to a death sentence for these poor suckers because they're always wandering inches from the precipice with nary a safety rail to catch them incase of slips trips or hit man's dangling over the side waiting to drag them to their death [Music] you'd think they'd keep a safe distance from allege that precarious but then you'd also think they'd take the occasional peek over the edge out of sheer boredom if nothing else what's down there may be its presence it's never presence rainbow succeed is what we in the biz call a tactical shooter because you're supposed to employ tactics before you shoot things which I don't know how that would work which is are you supposed to throw them on the floor and your enemies trip up on no more which would explain where I've been going wrong lucky for you the bad guys don't fully understand tactics either although if we had a better understanding of the motivations of the shadowy terrorist organization white mask we'd know if self sabotage is a vital part of their credo they are the very definition of an unknown right I mean not that unknown a quantity given that they have a habit of loudly announcing what they're going to do just before they do it like in so many military shooters the enemies in Rainbow six siege is terrorist hunt mode will shout to let you know when they are reloading which is the exact moment they are vulnerable to you rushing out and serving up a lead sandwich with a side order of death oh and some rosemary fries sorry I haven't had lunch anyway shouting that you're reloading is like me ringing the doorbell to tell you that I'm about to come in and burgle your house in general leave white mask foot soldiers make a ton of noise especially when you Whittle them down to the final three and they practically queue up for the privilege of being shot by you you only got yourself to blame Chatty Cathy I don't know about you but if one of my colleagues was mysteriously killed that would be it for work for the rest of the day maybe even the day after depends which one it was not so guards in video games who either have a much stronger work ethic or a much weaker Union because apparently they're all expected to be back at their posts within a few minutes of having discovered one of their former work mates who is now exploring the exciting career opportunities open to the recently deceased draft excluder Halloween decoration wait I'm getting off topic take the guards in Metal Gear Solid 5 for example for them apparently official protocol on discovering one of their dead mates is to do a cursory search of the area and if nothing is found return to thinking about what they're going to have for lunch this doesn't justifies you fighting the bullet-riddled corpses of their comrades lying around but also to seeing a rocket-powered robot arm flying around the place or watching their friends be yanked into the sky by a giant balloon look guys is all here in your employee handbook if you see anything out of the ordinary you are permitted to be alarmed about it for two minutes at which point you are to return to your post and duties Thursday's lunches tacos and I can see why they wanted to get back to thinking about it it's all very convenient for venom snake because it means you can clang around various secret military bases but honestly you'd expect better from a military force that's well trained and intelligence or I mean just well trained maybe [Music] I'm no military strategist as demonstrated by my insistence that the Knights in chess are called horsies but even I can tell that when you have superior numbers like any enemy force in almost any video game the best strategy is to use those superior numbers to overpower your single heroic enemy aka the player I believe sanzu called this the ancient art of the dog pile and Sun Tzu's the art of war was published in the 5th century BC so the soldiers in the first Assassin's Creed game set in 1191 ad have no excuse for not boning up on military tactics come on guys you've had 1700 years to do your homework don't try and tell me the dog ate it because dogs weren't invented until the late 1970s whenever Altai air finds himself up against half the city guard they patiently wait their turn like they're in the queue for the post office rather than all bundling on top of him and kicking him until he's dead because Altai air is a trained assassin and not some medieval minimum-wage guard this weird politeness means they get murder eyes one by one hey as my grandma always said manners cost nothing except on this occasion where they literally cost you your life this is all your fault grandma that I personally never been shot with an arrow but I suspect that when you do get hit with one you have a reasonably good idea about where it came from like that this very modest bit of CSI style detective work is beyond the villains of Skyrim however to whom it won't never occur to just look at the angle the arrow is sticking out of their neck and the juice that that's the direction in which it originated I know I heard something this is so long as you the brave dragon born a crouched hidden in the shadows in Dragonborn stealth mode one of the legendary powers of the Dragon born here by the grace of Skyrim generous sneaking system you could knock a narrow while safely in cover then pop out to nail a body then resume your previous cover based existence because so bad you didn't have quite long enough to be sure he saw you squatting in the distance over there and the stealth eye isn't all the way open he's none the wiser from whence this spontaneous piercing came such is your good luck as the chosen one that the body won't caught you and you can repeat this maneuver ad nauseam or at least add corpse IAM and after he dies of arrows you can jog on up yank them out and disappear into the night when his equally dim friends find his body full of arrow holes who knows what they'll think acupuncture session gotten really heavy hailstorm he tripped and fell on a porcupine yeah that's probably it case closed all right well apparently I can't leave until I've out throwed this video so yeah all right all right anyway up here we've got a video about relentlessly scary enemies that just wouldn't quit and could probably do with being a bit dumber and down here we have a video from our sister channel outside extra about enemies that were too adorable to kill if you can fathom such a thing and if you enjoyed this why don't you subscribe here on the subscribe org thanks for watching we'll see you next time as long as you don't take my helmet

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Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 834,587

Rating: 4.9531474 out of 5

Keywords: funny, funny moments, funny game video, video games, outsidexbox, outside xbox, list, countdown, top 7, 7 things, top 10, top 5, 5 worst, 10 worst, 5 best, 10 best, 7 best, 7 worst, assassin's creed funny, hitman funny, mgsv funny, skyrim funny, rainbow six siege funny, skyrim funny moments, skyrim stealth, rainbow six siege funny moments, hitman funny moments

Id: 61CkPjPLst4

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 12min 13sec (733 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 22 2018

Reddit Comments

Dammit, Mike's commentary has now made ME hungry for lunch.

👍︎︎ 5 👤︎︎ u/Tailmonkey 📅︎︎ Mar 22 2018 🗫︎ replies