50 MOST NSFW FAMILY MOMENTS

[Music] 50 most not safe for work family moments according to Reddit number 50 my mom came home one day to a giant pair of titties flapping up and down on the computer screen with the volume way high coincidentally my brother was the only one home that day Bing bong Bing bong number 49 I'm 13 to 14 or at the time of the story I was the PC is in the dining room the weekend night I'm up late I'm talking to some friends on AOL Instant Messenger and everyone had gone to bed I decided to master birch I mean [ __ ] I'm already on the internet all pictures at this point no video no sound I'm pulling it and to some money shots and my grandpa walks out of his room to go pee he has to walk by me I try to close everything but of course nothing will close fast because the PC is old still loading images on the page and my grandpa walks by I've got my dear put away as soon as he popped out he wasn't sneaking a peek he sees what is on the screen girl with a dick coming into her open mouth he walks by and says ha lunchtime gives me a thumbs up and keeps walking I was [ __ ] mortified I assumed I was in so much trouble even the next day I was sure I'd hear about it but he never ratted me out we have never spoken about it weird night Nicky will your grandpappy's a coup dude with a cool dude indeed forgive me for the sizing of the string chat I kind of had to do everything from scratch today which was less amusing as you would think it would be because oh my god it was pretty long as it was already but there's nothing wrong with it everything's cute [Music] or at least I think everything's cute with the bing-bong give me one second do this [Music] hmm look I don't know nothing seems to work and I guess I'm supposed to deal with that whatever as we roll up to number 48 God why is it in the red I hope the stream isn't buffering for anybody I found a picture of my dad wearing lingerie not Ana I enjoy wearing it at home by myself kind of way but in a I was forced to make forced by my mates during a piss-up kind of way hilarious with a hint of mental scarring because you well number 47 when my brother found my naughty reddit account are you a girl ETA oh dear Lord people if you wanted that bad you direct message me I'm losing track of all of these effing comments you're telling me that she didn't post the [Music] for everyone who PMDD me for the authenticity of her showing me her boobs and [ __ ] here is the proof look I'm already playing with how not safer work we can get away with on booth in Luciano little is easy to you oh my god this website vid just take it down a notch YouTube go full titties and ass full titties and ass and like on a scale from one to two days and ass you can't you can't phone it in but that's what YouTube tries to do sometimes I guess we kind of deal so as we continue to number 46 oh man I have many one time when I was probably around 10 years old or so my cousin was visiting us and decided to play a little game with me granted I didn't quite understand the nuances of mixed families back then but I knew something was up because she had significantly darker skin than me she looked a little like Pocahontas hmm well I lived with my single grandmother at the time go get it granny my cousin was a couple of years older than me and I'm told we were good friends and we bathed together as kids okay on this particular day we somehow ended up playing a game privately in my room wherein we would try to push each other over with a pillow and the loser had to reveal a private part she didn't even try I won over and over and she had the bigger pillow she showed me everything she had and I was flabbergasted I remember it vividly we never told anyone and I haven't seen her in over a decade incidentally yes I have tried to find her again no I have not been successful our families have drifted apart Oh [Music] somebody said at first I read finger-blasted I was finger blah somebody said today I learned Opie Jax it to the colors of the wind I was just humming that oh one day I'm gonna die sneezing guys one day hmm as we continue up the list of 50 most not-safe-for-work family moments we arrive at number 45 Oh 45 is where we arrived for knock it down baby when I was a lot younger I'm 29 now my parents had some people over including my one aunt and uncle who are incredibly straight-laced early on in the evening in one of the family rooms she put on a VHS tape to watch a movie she remembered singing back during a trip she took with my uncle a few years ago nothing was really happening with the get-together has yet since it was still really early in the evening so some of us snuck around to see what movie it was before more people came interesting within the first five minutes there were more topless girls and nudity than in our the average skinemax look nowadays skinemax my aunt is absolutely mortified at the point and she says she doesn't remember any of this in the movie while my mom her sister is laughing hysterically grabs a remote from me or from her and says she should keep it on just because what's going on is so ridiculous and my aunts reaction is just so funny I think my mom's exact words were how the hell could you not remember any of this there's so many tits on the screen I I can't even see the plot everyone in the room is dying that she brought over what was essentially a softcore 80 sexploitation movie with the subplot of there being some skiing thrown in sporadically my dad walks in he hears everything or everyone laughing and he's just got the biggest wonderful face on when he sees what's up makes an about-face back towards the kitchen and pours himself a drink what a fun party it sounds like what a fun party looks like people are saying my name in the stream chat this ought to be good hope nobody embarrasses themselves by making me take the time to read something that was ignorant as far as an anecdote is concerned Michael Davis says I like the thumbnail Kayal intergenerational sandwich a Rick and Morty reference topical Alex T sander says I wonder how many Rick and Morty thumbnails Kyle can fit into the channel another referential reference to the reference that I made in the [ __ ] thumbnail references as we roll up the list of 50 most not-safe-for-work family moments you make me ashamed to be myself we arrive at number 45 just kidding we read that already you guys were ruined did number 44 my mom gave me a kidney it's a pretty spicy birthday gift and during our recovery she really wanted to see me but the hospital wouldn't let her because she had complications from the surgery and was pretty out of it but somehow she managed to slip out of her room and come to find me mind you I was completely opposite floor from her so I don't know how the [ __ ] she found me parents are [ __ ] bad dude what if she [ __ ] something up internally because you know the doctors like hey don't get out of bed and she's like [ __ ] I know I'm gonna do what I want to do what are you a doctor you're gonna take - you're back to school [ __ ] can you imagine can you imagine like just telling an older person something that you obviously know more about than they do and they all like you better take all that correct information and educational knowledge out of this [ __ ] I know what's going on the [ __ ] I'm bleeding I told you not to boo all right she slipped out of her room mind you I was on a completely opposite floor from her so I don't know if luxury Ferrar me but anyway it was my first official day eating solid food so I was pretty excited until she got her while I was eating here comes my mom into my room and for some reason she decided it was the perfect time to undress I mean full-frontal few of my mom's bush and all she goes is Michael look at what they did to me look at these scars needless to say I will never eat fruit loops again and not to be reminded of my mom's Bush you want to know how I got these scars mom no no now who's the Joker where is it where's my kidney number 43 I went to my brother no I went to tell my brother that a classmate of ours had passed away he didn't answer when I knocked so I assumed he was sleeping and opened the door he was jacking off with headphones on I managed to leave and close the door without him knowing I was there now that the classmate is forever linked in my mind to my brother jacking off in Memorial of that of that dead cousin Jesus Christ my nose is filling by the second as I'm just trying to record this video music [Music] the hey good news that sneeze for the most part cleared a good portion of that snot out of my nose not where you're trying to hear I can sneeze and all the colors of my snot have you seen my monkeys in the window I don't know works that's long have you seen my monkeys in the window close enough man number 42 well there's the time I killed my dad and had a few kids with my mom you mother [ __ ] number 41 my wife and I made very poor decision of playing cards against humanity' with my parents yeah dude you thought your parents were cool okay I ended up having to explain to my dear mother what to [ __ ] is [ __ ] bukakke wa does anybody in the stream not know what [ __ ] is faith says bless you that's so sweet of her Thank You faith it's nice to see you I hope you had a great day hope you enjoyed your dumb little school garbage God you just need to get through all of that crap get your stupid piece of paper and then start you know tricking people into the cult of KL so that uh holy [ __ ] Casey Quinn says you're the bomb care you're the bomb dad camp why didn't you read that that means that I may need to modify something allow me to take the time to do that well sweet God I hope that it's not showing my best of the worst [ __ ] on the screen that would be weird so we're gonna go ahead and go into string laps very quickly [Music] Oh my connection is as I expected I didn't diminish the amount from $10 to $3 so it didn't read it because I forgot to save it okay yeah one of these days you'll get your [ __ ] together what you should do is reload that that that thing that she dusted so that maybe it will it will read her thing because she deserved that unless Casey is a man in which case he deserved that [Music] you're thee well it certainly didn't say the bomb calm it just said you're thee looks like we've just thoroughly disappointed ourselves man where do we even go from here but continue up the list of the 50 most not safer work family moments in the future you guys want the bot to say something calm I recommend typing out do t space at sea om or maybe even the word calm sea ALM I love how weird that is we run a weird stream here well let me start 41 from the beginning my wife and I made the very poor decision of playing cards against humanity' with our parents I ended up having to explain to my dear mother what [ __ ] was I had to she would not let it go she ended up winning the game well someone says I was playing with my very sheltered virgin sister and she got the pixelated [ __ ] card she said she didn't understand it so I started trying to delicately explain [ __ ] she stops me and says no I know what [ __ ] is how does it get pixelated where do you begin to explain that anyway number 39 I mean 40 because [ __ ] would be pixelated if if the [ __ ] was too close to the girl's face and it was an Asian porno someone's gonna appreciate that joke it's probably only gonna be a couple of guys in the stream channel unless some of the girls are all about that a Haitian guy porn number 40 after dating my ex ex-girlfriend [Music] sorry my brain really had to understand that so I guess he was her ex-girlfriend and now he was going out with her again after they had broken up whatever okay it don't make me have to be [ __ ] Einstein to read this [ __ ] alright cuz like yes I'm trying to deliver it in a way where people can understand and it's slightly entertaining I don't need to have to trip over the the hurdle the the the obstacle of an understanding this scientific [ __ ] you out here Crafton but it's been gilded so let's give it a chance after dating my ex ex-girlfriend for a few months some years back I was going over to their house for Christmas Eve to spend the night to open up presents and have breakfast on Christmas morning me having my first real adult girlfriend this incredibly this was incredibly nerve-racking I should also mention that I had a kidney transplant about four months prior as well I can't wait to see how that's relevant so we get there around noon to start making spaghetti for everyone that night I'm fine with having a task like this as it allows me to focus on something other than my nerves once my part in this was over I decided to nervous drink i nervous drank a lot since I had the transplant recently my tolerance was [ __ ] party was fun made friends had laughs but unfortunately I blacked out towards the end of the party her sister said she saw me in my dad's office laughing hysterically at the paper shredder laying in the hallway singing show tunes and running around the front of their house without my shirt or shoes on in December in the north the worst moment was after everyone passed out I was still up and moving around the next thing I knew I was being woken up by my girlfriend yelling at me on Christmas morning did you [ __ ] in the hallway last night she asks and I reply with the only answer I can come up with uh No she goes I bet you [ __ ] did so she goes into detective mode and pulls my pants down and looks at my ass crack I had a cookie but never heard the phrase cookie but before cool kid but mmm dude if we're not careful somebody's gonna run away with that in the stream chat and what a time to see legendary fat man's name that's not good that's not good man cookie but cookie butts gonna be coming back for us man guys can't we just leave it let's let's just pretend we didn't see cookie but tonight and just leave it you know this sounds like something that might but I might hear in a Bob's Burgers episode uh-huh cookie but somebody said I lost it at cookie door damn it too long didn't read say to my girlfriend's house for Christmas and their family woke up to two turds of my [ __ ] in their hallway and two turds of my [ __ ] in their toilet still chestnuts roasting on an open fire as we roll up this list we arrive at number 39 I shared a kiss with my cousin she kissed me and it held for one to two seconds because both of us were drunk and I didn't want to be rough to just shove her away let's just say she had a crazy patch in her life somebody said judicially this was cute until you said you were drunk suddenly it's clear you were adults and now it's hockey but doctor scam says how many beers does it take to watch a chi al Stram well from the way you spelled stream there I'm guessing you're good weighs in maybe maybe double what you've had so far you'll know that you've had enough when you're donating like what 50 bucks and then somebody will come in and go whoa whoa whoa I'm your stockbroker okay wait is that a person who comes in maybe a lawyer comes in some do some do you know hey hi you can't be going home schmegle go even that is rude I wish I knew juice I think you guys are so cool you're such a cultural you know and whatever that anecdote was gonna develop into so as we travel up this list of 50 most not-safe-for-work family moments we arrive at number 38 when my siblings and I were all kids my mom had this crazy idea for a family game she bought hundreds of pencils and led us all into the bedroom and we had a contest to see who could hold the most pencils with their body mom you crazy any part of the body was fair game Fistful of pencils under the armpits in the mouth behind the ears hoped through our hair in between our toes under your boobs sandwiched in the ass crack like a hot dog use your imagination and no there was nothing sexual about it no insertion also no I had no idea what my mom was on that day somebody he goes on to say my mom's that ditzy want to be hippie and there was really nothing sexual about it some of us tried harder because of the competitive aspect to it but we were mostly all bored within a few minutes and went back to our video games oh well what a what a cute little mommy sounds like a regular Linda Belcher as we roll up to 37 I moved back home from college after my freshman year and had to share a room with my high school-aged brother for a while I had to listen to him rub one out every single night before he went to sleep that was a little uncomfortable auntie says I just got here to call all of you sinners okay you're gonna trigger somebody with those caps Uncle Jemima says Kyle are you going to be streaming call of duty when it drops yeah what I should probably try not to make myself get that it's just shooting people with a flaming shotgun is so it's so satisfying to me I'd have a hell of a lot more time running around in that game shooting 10 people then way more fun that I do playing destiny destiny is so wack man they had the money for dedicated servers and they just dropped a ball so now it's four before and so 6v6 and boy does it [ __ ] suck boy does it [ __ ] suck it's boring dude that's Kanna we get into matches i wreck for people like and I'm just like this isn't fun I don't feel badass this is just stupid so as we continue up SEVIS oh no I haven't changed the super chat noises because I thought everybody would use the other the other site for donating so it's going to be some spooky noise from the other stream that I was supposed to do ooh oh boy well stuff says I don't know what this is damn he just sent all that [ __ ] flying out of that thing I'm gonna reset the tip jar but not like empty it just reset it to see if like everything will not bounce out cuz that was a little crazy so let's get everything neatly back into the chips are no bouncy won't tease you guys don't donate so hard thank you for the 487 umber whatever to 80 you guys are just weird tonight Casey quit donate another 280 I appreciate you guys I love you this is Casey you are a fine lady or gentleman I don't know you know no but as we travel up guess where we're going number 36 I I got a cramp in that spot of muscle under the lower jaw the one directly under the tongue while I was eating out my girlfriend I got a cramp while eating out my girl I stopped and fell on the floor trying to massage the muscle to relax it because it hurt like hell my girlfriend was super pissed because she was seconds away from coming but she saw me and tried to help me so we're both there in the living room in my apartment half naked and I see the front door open my parents younger brother and a few of my teenage cousin started walking in like a like a [ __ ] parade oh it was a surprise visit and they just decided to let themselves in without even knocking my dad was first and the sight of my girlfriend's ass was there to greet him I don't think I should continue this you kinda get the picture [Music] okay number 35 picked up a buddy of mine from his family reunion as we walked out he turned around and shouted bye guys thanks for all the [ __ ] everyone turned and looked at him in horror and his face turned bright red and embarrassment I mean cake I'm not gay that's reasonable yelled max I'm not gay mom and dad no I'm not gay mom and okay I like it I don't wanna come out now but I like it is this your boyfriend no I'm just picking him up yes just be my boyfriend oh my god you're being so helpful right now this uh this vics isn't doing [ __ ] for me right now and I don't want to put more on and burn the [ __ ] hell out of my face I hate [ __ ] getting it let me try taking off my shirt and putting it on my chest cuz that's how they describe [Music] all righty here we are here's hoping that this works out why the [ __ ] is Emily food thing saying don't be a [ __ ] I don't know I'm gonna give you about three minutes to explain yourself Emily food what would make me a [ __ ] you stupid [ __ ] as we continue up to number 34 I was having trouble with my radiator and had no toolbox so I asked my dad if I could borrow his he came over and said he'd fix it for me I hadn't had time to clean up since he only lives two minutes away so he started reading my writes about how messy my house is so he started reading me my rights as he was lamenting over my clothes being on the floor he opened my wardrobe to demonstrate how much room I had in my roared robe there is a box my dad looked down at the box the box was open the box was filled with fetish gear and sex toys my dad closed the Wardrobe and fixed my radiator well shut up dated I hope this was a girl and not a dude oh my god because if it was a dude I like to think that the dad was homophobic and was like well son it looks like you found a way to warm yourself up I say good day a response to this reads oh god this is very similar to the moment that still has me cringing I was moving in my parents decided to help me move my girlfriend and I have a fetish box as well strap ons pumps about 10 feet of rope but blood Lube rings all the necessities but use well my girlfriend bless her heart thought it would be funny and stealthy to label the box books but two O's having eyes like boobs very mature anyway I'm in the new place unpacking the boxes and my dad walks in with the books box this box is really life for books let's make sure you got the right box here no I know it's in there it's he cuts the box open and it's all day I'm positive the stench of so many fluids have just invaded his nostrils they weren't clean ah just toss it back in a box oh he just stares for about 20 seconds taking it all in at this point I've gone past being ashamed I'm ready for him to rape my sexual desires he closes the box and just walks away which felt more like I'm just disappointed more than anything about 20 minutes go by and he came back in and just asked me no warmup why do you need another dick well it feels good [Music] at that moment I realize my father a rigid military right-wing had no idea what a strap-on was and that opened a [ __ ] can of worms somebody said the stench of so many fluids please clean after use from now on that's what a civilized person would do but obviously were reading an entry from a [ __ ] Savage Oh try and get me barfing in this book and thread fluids whoa number 33 my brother walked on in on me giving his friend a [ __ ] which resulted in lots of drama oh my god somebody says hello it's me your brother's friend I can't even tell you some of the craziest stories that are associated with like beautiful sisters of thorns that I have because it's not worth it these are secrets of as it takes my grave oh my god beautiful okay anyway um did Emily Fuu end up saying what the [ __ ] she was talking about Emily says the Vics don't burn that bad I mean I'm not saying that it's burning um you know like it hurts I'm saying it's burning the hell out of me which is indicative of it being where it needs to be yet it's not doing its job do you know what I mean it'd be like if you went out and you sprayed some [ __ ] Sun Tan that's not sprayed the Sun Tan Lotion yeah why not if you spray it if you applied some suntan lotion all over your body to go out into the Sun and then like there was a little burn and the burn is good because it lets you know that your whole body is essentially coated in it but then after that you still get sunburned and it's patchy so it's like what the [ __ ] was the burden indicative of which is what's going on with me in the Vics right now you Pompey stupid ho talking to me like you got Triple D titties dem titties ain't that big you better walk from morrow I'm kidding Am I so number 32 I was house-sitting for my grandparents many moons ago and I had two and I had to get a fresh sheet when I lifted the first one lo and behold there was my grandmother's vibrator it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood I kept that secret for years when I eventually told my mom about it her only reaction was your grandfather is impotent [Music] oh no that's so sad listen what is everybody going know swoosh about miss catnip said [ __ ] a dog by blink-182 wait what the [ __ ] what is she talking about catnip says wait holy [ __ ] here's the story one time she says one time okay when time began one time my friend and I were hanging in a park there was a wedding midnight middy nights and a Democratic Party or Republican my friend starts playing with loudly I [ __ ] a dog by blink-182 here getting timed out for thinking that was a cool story how else are you gonna learn that anecdote stupid why don't you post that on MATLAB so everybody can collectively on and go you know nobody cares one time we were in class and my friend yells penis oh my god can you believe it see I leaned in close to the microphone right there as if to imply that some basic [ __ ] you should feel weird for like where what's the word retelling that story if any of yo people in here got corny ass anecdotes like that to be letting it rip in the stream chat it's your it's your business you know what I mean I'm just teasing I like putting people in gay baby jail so that's why I did it I hope that you're not offended miss catnip but at the same time your anecdote was pretty shitty so wha I watched it noted that [ __ ] wasn't COO you know who that's cool to a fourteen-year-old he almost got away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling stream chat as we roll up to number 31 I had a girlfriend over we did the nasty I throw I threw the used condoms into the trash took her home then came home to my mom and sister laughing their asses off turns out our dog ran up to my room and grabbed it out of the trash and was playing with it while I was gone and they found it Oh okay guys you want a funny misunderstanding weird wocka wocka not-safe-for-work story here's what I'll communicate I'm stealing this from the professor brothers and if you don't know what that is it's really an invention it's really an invention and an imaginative invention but the story is basically about how I'm gonna summarize it and not even get you into the main details but a dude goes and he buys some new shoes and he's really excited about these new meant ass shoes he's like gangster nice ass shoes and then he gets a call saying he has to go pick somebody up from the airport because somebody else can't do it well you know it's it's poor and it's coming down it's cats and dogs it isn't really raining some fierce it's getting ridiculous and he didn't have any bags to put on his shoes because the old shoes that he went in with he just threw them away at the store he was like take these [ __ ] shoes get rid of them and he had put enough distance between him and the [ __ ] store to not be able to go back so he didn't have any bags or anything like that to protect his damn shoes all he had were two condoms so he pulled these condoms ever so gently over his shoes and you know it stretches through the mud and the [ __ ] raid and all this [ __ ] gets into his car you know [ __ ] throws it takes this [ __ ] stupid condoms off his shoes goes to the [ __ ] Airport it's the Dean and his wife and then when they're getting in the car the Dean's wife lets out this shrill crazy scream and and she's he looks back and he sees the [ __ ] mud-covered [ __ ] countess and he goes woah woah woah woah woah those have not been in asses well I thought it was funny [ __ ] you guys alright Emmie Takahashi says Takahashi oh [ __ ] at me she's got to be related to Dean takahashi she also says she'll be a sponsor soon that's so sweet of her but I'll believe it when I see it you [ __ ] lie I'm kidding I love everybody I'm sorry for derailing the stream I really do hope you enjoyed that anecdote I was really only sharing it because that's like a great you know entertaining anecdote as far as I'm concerned as opposed to some oh my god so there was a Republican convention there are all these stuffy people out there and then we just started playing blink-182 yeah doctor scam says Kyle have you ever watched China Illinois of course [ __ ] and there's something I've been meaning to tell you about the college at the edge of the town no one should ever go there [ __ ] I know about more about Brad Neely than you do you got to assume that you guys are like 14 years old as far as I'm concerned and I was here at the dawn of the Internet so I've seen it all I've seen it all baby I've seen it oh so as we roll up to number 30 I was in my first real girlfriend's house when I was in high school we would have sex in the basement the finished basement when her family was home to avoid any walk-ins after I finished it was common practice to tie the condom in a knot and avoid throwing it in the trash to avoid the mom finding it when she was cleaned so I left it on top of the ping-pong table thinking I could take it upstairs with me when we decided to leave the ping-pong table was right next to the couch well I [ __ ] up her father and little brother thought it was a good time to go downstairs and play some ping pong the brother gets through the table first sees the used rubber picks it up the load of semen just dangling there holds it out turns to his father and says daddy what's this the dad's face was sheer terror as he screamed at his son to drop it grabbed his wrist and stomped upstairs all the while not breaking eye contact with me I guess that instilled a fear of birth control into the poor girl she got knocked up in college by a man her dad's age what a rollercoaster of a story daddy issues much yeah [ __ ] me call me a little girl while you do it sorry that probably went a bit too far I apologize for offending anybody sensibilities in the issues I know it's what makes you so attractive actually a lot of crazy [ __ ] to a dope man but I think one of the things I told her was like what most guys are looking for is like a chick that's damaged enough to uh to treat you like her first love to the point where it's almost stalkerish it's almost weird it's almost creepy because at least it's clear that in their eyes only you exist you know and like and and the worst part is with girls it's pretty much a sliding scale of crazy but the worst part is the sliding scale of crazy for women has no zero so it's not like on a scale from zero to ten crazy it's like a scale from like 4 to 15 you know I'm talking about I'm not getting up my ass here I'm just saying some girls are crazy and you want a little crazy you know what I mean cuz that crazy can be good but not like crazy crazy like damn like I'm gonna tell you what are you [ __ ] rate me like whoa bro real that you did dude holy [ __ ] not me to be that bad you can't be going that far back do that babe says I'm sorry I'm crazy about you Kyle don't be sorry don't be sorry like I said like I said the the amusing kind of crazy is where it's just like [Music] it's like you gotyou both of us can talk and everything can be fine and then I'll just be like well I'll talk to you later and then let five minutes go by the [ __ ] is he doing Kyle okay yeah why isn't he was foot the [ __ ] Kayal Tania I'm gonna call him dude but then women are the opposite where it's just like the world could be into them but unless that one stupid douchebag that for whatever reason they've set their eyes on it has the attention you know what I mean nothing else matters and they're gonna kill themselves you know what I'm talking about I was telling oh man I also mention this there's this one song by Flight Facilities called crave you and I think the lyrics are why can't you want me like the other boys do they stare at me while I stare at you oh my god let's roll up this [ __ ] list alright why can't you want me like the other boys do they stare at me what are we even doing anymore number 29 not me but my cousin who has a bit of a drinking problem was staying at our Grandpa's house for a local festival she proceeds to get hammered drunk and walks home walks in the door goes to the bathroom gets naked and crawls into bed the problem is that it wasn't in the room she was supposed to be sleeping in it was in my grandparents room so crawled in the next to my grandfather naked Bing bong I bet your grandad was like only you know think about getting that's gross I apologize I apologized that's a bit gross Hannah says I'm not that bad I'm not implying that you were I'm not implying that you were in it wasn't it was about you I wasn't implying that I wasn't implying that it Oh Travis Lee says I missed 15 minutes it seemed okay for a while damn man y'all better know each other the way you're always playing with each other you know what I mean I like to think that if for an instant I were to unblock legendary fat man that faith would like time of his ass out you know what I mean not unblock I mean unmod I'm music there's little jack-o'-lantern from big worm Kevin a reminder that we are in the festive season of Halloween we're approaching and I'm gonna try and give you guys some [ __ ] that you may be wanting and buy I'm gonna try and give you guys some [ __ ] I mean you guys need to send me some [ __ ] because I'm doing work outside of the channel obviously I'm trying to find that [ __ ] CPU and I'm pretty close to it thanks to you guys you know what I mean pretty dank stuff pretty dig stuff oh man legendary fat man says do it do what remove you as a moderator legendary fat man it's no longer moderated to the Kayal channel Jesus Christ he's been demoted but I doubt faith would just jump on an opportunity to time him out like that that'd be crazy that'd be crazy anyway as we go ahead and roll up to number 28 Hannah did it oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god girls stop this is rape this is rape girls that poor guy ad moderator you girls are raping him you Borg you girls are raped they give goddamn man well number 28 I was back in town to see my family and I met up with my dad and stepmom there were out drinking with some of our closest friends well after about an hour or so they were getting pretty drunk and rowdy I noticed the woman including my stepmom start getting really flirtatious with each other mind you they are five couples including my parents at this gathering I watch it continue and I have to admit I'm a little uncomfortable seeing all these people I grew up with around being overly sexual and like and in general after a while I finally said what the [ __ ] is going on here to my parents my stepmom started laughing and replied drunkenly with to be honest you're the only one in this room I haven't [ __ ] needless to say I left quickly after that sounds like a missed opportunity you know what I'm talking about dolphin you know what I'm talking about dolphin wake up man what I'm talking about at any rate as we roll up to number 27 my uncle's new life was meeting the family for the first time and after a glass of wine she asked if she can be herself everyone said yes and then she asked me when 71 year old grandpa if he sits at home watching porn and jacking off all day huh hmm huh okay babe says I just don't like overly social people you know if I had the money I'd front feel that I [ __ ] build a bunker and then sit in it I build a bunker with dank ass Wi-Fi and a chute that okay to a shoot one chute for waste so I could send all of the trash and waste away and then a chute that gets my Amazon chicken tenders and soda so I can live have some kind of water treatment facility in there so I'd be alright I'm scared dude Alex to Xander's talking about dick working at 70 like his 70 the cutoff for when dick stopped working that's [ __ ] creepy as [ __ ] I was watching a video on how to catch an ant a I'm an idiot as we roll up to number 26 my uncle is a pimp in Gambia he's originally from England my cousin once went to stay with him towards the end of the first night when he told when he's told he had a present waiting for him it in bed he goes upstairs to find a young lady completely naked laying across the bread not sure how long she'd been waiting a present in Gambia is a surefire way to max out the triple plus on your HIV lottery card [Music] Gambia HIV what would you do if you're someone's at home crying all alone on a bedroom floor because he's got AIDS that's not funny Kyle come on and the only way to feed him mister sleep with a man for a little bit of penicillin I don't know what I don't know what treats AIDS sure it sure as hell not penicillin Kyle we roll up to number 20 okay my mom chased my teenage brother around the house inside and out with the dildo once I had the chance to ask my brother about it later he was pissed about it at the time but I was like six and my mom was laughing so much so I thought everyone was having a good time looking back at it I can see why he was pissed mom's dildo eel and why she thought it was so funny good memories memories somebody's saying I'm imagining yakety sax playing while the picturing a mom running around with the [ __ ] dildo out after a kid that is not a song that we normally associate with chasing after something we associate the Benny Hill whatever but this is a take out the papers and nurture a BRR BRR BRR BRR BRR BRR BRR BRR BRR BRR that's a dumb song that's a dumb song that's a dumb song and I'm mad that he's uh well what we gonna do about it what are we gonna do about it number 24 mom walked into the bedroom when I was having some personal time it's been six months and we still avoid eye contact well yeah that means you're you've established a dominance the world is your wank space now you know what they say in yugioh I think it applies right here your move Darrin I'm kidding do it's time to what number 23 three generations of my girlfriend's family saw my dick on Christmas hark here my balls sweet hairy balls three-generation how about y'all jack in and [ __ ] I just can't quit I'm sorry three generations of my girlfriend's family saw my dick what somebody says this has a story behind it and I'm willing to pay for it the original poster goes on how lucky for you I was willing to click open into this because we might have missed it you have it or you have have it for free well any of you have have it because you have have it now whilst on holiday a few years back I was [ __ ] around with my girlfriend's camera whilst she was in the shower I was laying on the bed butt naked with my dick resting on my stomach pointing towards my face I stuck a pair of sunglasses on the base of my penis and thought it highly amusing that my dick now looked like a nose so I took a photo and forgot about it [Music] thank you again Casey Quinn you're so sexy hey did she single-handedly realize my goal tonight what was my goal tonight ten bucks that's pretty gangster I appreciate that Casey that's pretty dope that's pretty dank you're probably a big titty lady huh well someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far bigger knees as we continue this entry thank you again Casey Quinn I took a photo and forgot about it some time passes and Christmas rolls around my partner's sister got a new camera for Christmas but didn't have an SD card so we found a spare one and let her use it she spent Christmas Day taking pictures of everyone and everything and eager to show off her photography when the Christmas dinner came around she hooked up her camera to the big-screen TV in the living room and all of my girlfriend's family was there as they flicked through all of the Christmas photos she scrolled one further and bam a close-up of my dick panned across the living room TV in glorious 1080p resolution for three generations of a family to see her nan loved it though I reckon there's a filtered version i'ma check that out without JA havin Sita [Music] you can see the filtered version somebody once tell me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the table in her head well you know [ __ ] done well as we roll up we arrived at number 22 discovered that my cousin is a porn star sorry I won't link you to the videos [Music] [Music] well part of us wants to dig deeper here someone says what the quotation marks around the word star I assume that she's either not good or not popular as a porn star somebody said more like a porn gas giant if you will the the joke being a play on the word star there what the hell um look astronomy humor in a porn thread for real um as we roll up to number 21 on the list you guys forgot of 50 most not-safe-for-work family moments it reads when I was a kid around 8 years old the PlayStation was in my parents room and we usually went to that room to play Gran Turismo with my little brother which essentially consisted of driving Suzuki Escudo at full throttle and never hitting the brakes once for the duration of the race once he got angry about something and threw his controller away detaching it from the council or console and it ended up landing on my parents wardrobe we were small so we tried climbing on the thing to get it and ended up making a lot of stuff on the god-man I feel like some burps were coming up here how did snapchat open on my phone and you know what just like sits there with snapchat open and drains the barrier I plugged this [ __ ] thing in though ok sorry I felt a soft object some stuff fell off the [ __ ] Wardrobe or whatever gets my ass I felt a soft object hitting my forehead it looked like a really big dick my brother took it from the ground wondering what it was I took it from him and yes I was definitely a penis innocent me back then thought it was supposed to go on a mannequin or something because I had never seen a mannequin naked and figured mannequins had penises too for some reason I instinctively threw it back on the Wardrobe or wardrobe are you [ __ ] having a stroke mate but my little bro had already dashed downstairs telling my parents we found something strange in their bedroom so my parents dashed upstairs and asked me what it was I told them we found something that looked like a plastic horse dick and threw it back up since then we've had the PlayStation in our room you know the PlayStation 4 has a browser I'm just gonna leave it at that as we roll up to number 20 the morning after my wedding I bumped into my cousin in the hotel lobby and she was asking about one of my groomsmen she wanted to know how we were related to him I told her he was just a friend of mine she looked disappointed by this and at the time I had no idea why she cheated on her new husband with him after the wedding reception and she was bummed that he wasn't her cousin or some [ __ ] what look man I need a treat after that it was icing this [ __ ] thing what happened you know what you put crushed ice in it that [ __ ] melted and I can drink that oh my god she wanted to bang her cousin listen as we roll up the list of 50 most not-safe-for-work family moments I'm gonna go through the next line like they're not even there yeah number 19 I shouted out loud that my dad's penis was huge at an Olive Garden I was for dad dick syndrome had me pretty good what's dad dick syndrome I don't think that's something common to somebody else somebody else says I think it's more of an act than a syndrome it's the act of a son mistakenly catching a glimpse of his dad's preyas and later bragging to his friends about how huge it was looks like someone's got some kind of expert knowledge about what the [ __ ] going on here Wow as we travel up to number 18 growing up my brother and I used to share a room anyway one night I get woken up by moaning and sounds of pain I look over and my brother rolls out of bed clutching his stomach and runs to the bathroom now imagine a chubby nine-year-old wearing nothing but loose boxers hobbling and sprinting down the hall I'm hit with this foul foul smell and I looked down and there is a trail of wet spin a tarry poop everywhere brothers finish finishes running slams into the bathroom and you can almost hear the sigh of relief except there wasn't turns out when he went to relieve his shitty bowels he had nothing left the best part was that he didn't realize where the poop had gone until he walked out of the bathroom to see his shitty legacy spread out behind him Oh fun fact we had extended family staying over at the time notably the hot cousin he was crushing on [Music] legendary fat man says kai Ellis fat man I most certainly am NOT if I were fat man I'd buy my own self as CPU right now and I'd be like later dudes cuz I'd be flying around on my rainbow but [ __ ] dragon or something I don't know how he lives his life I don't know wet bag of oats as we continue up this list we arrive at number 17 when I was 12 to 13 at a hotel room with my parents for a basketball tournament they [ __ ] in the bed right next to mine ten minutes after lights-out I never mentioned it to anybody last weekend I was visiting NYC and lo and behold we shared a bedroom they [ __ ] again it's their fetish dude it's their fetish somebody said plot twist those two times in front of the kid were the only times nothing else could do it for them yeah Opie is saving their marriage one host he'll stay at a time bull yeah I got involved people that don't want another knew of their growth number 16 man I was having a wank when my dad walks in shocked I turn around I was clothed just had my dear crowd he asked me what I was doing and startled I said nothing are you on drugs that shocked me more than him finding me wanking I told him no and I said I was checking my balls for lumps oh okay then and then he left nothing more was ever said about it step 1 breathe the drugs in through your penis you have a snort some cocaine with a dick she's got to put it right on the cocaine and then go you gotta breathe in with it dear click breathing like this you know what I'm talking about dolphin alright that's enough okay that is enough I apologize number 16 I was having a womb what number 15 my grandma told my whole family at dinner that she had sex on the beach once when asked when she replied when I was 76 man she probably getting more action than half [ __ ] why the stripes keep saying Oh Kyle Kyle look at me what [Music] why why [Music] Erendira says Kyle you can shot coke into your junk if you didn't know well obviously can shoot so we roll up to number 14 when I was really young I was playing PlayStation in my brother's room he has a giant poster of some blond model half-naked paused the game for a quick 5 minute wank I finished up and just looked towards the bedroom door my mom literally just walked away as I looked up it never got mentioned ever she sat there and watched the whole thing she watched I don't know what was worse as someone responding knowing that you got caught or knowing that she stood there and thought do I say something no that's not he's getting to that age after all I'll just leave but I'll watch him finish first [Music] well there we go if we if we roll up to number 31 here that's not what you dyslexic its third it's 13 it's 13 okay hope whatever all right I've had enough of you my husband and I had to move in with his parents for about three months when we were having financial issues as I have the very last bag in my hand ready to move to our new home i sat the back on the living room floor and went to the bathroom when I come out something was going off in the bag I said it's probably our son's Thomas the Tank toy my mom in law dives right in and pulls out my vibrator and holds it up for like 30 seconds like she's the Statue of Liberty holding up her [ __ ] torch my father-in-law and brother-in-law were also right there in the room needless to say they still bring it up and Thomas the Train is now code for viral Jesus Creek why she gotta hold it up like you know me [ __ ] hell oh my god what's that vibrating noise well it's gotta be it's gotta be that Thomas the Tank Engine you know Jesus [Music] sorry for a second I was almost distracted by the chat but I don't see the interesting people you hear that [ __ ] y'all just got roast yeah just got roast I'm kidding as we roll up to number 12 back when I was in high school I worked with my girlfriend on weekends after work we'd go back to her house and usually had two ish hours before her parents would come home on some days we take a nap other days we'd watch a movie were fool around etc one fateful Saturday our nap session turned into sex as an aside she was pretty loud especially when she thought no one was home so we get started and everything is coming along nicely when all of a sudden there's some aggressive banging on her bedroom door of course we freaked out get dressed and open the door only to find that it was her sister's boyfriend messing with us so we shut the door and gear director business in a much more aggressive manner than initially her moaning is now more like yelling and I'm humping with reckless abandon when again there's another round of banging on the door this time we ignore it and keep going for another 10 seconds before we hear her dad's scream at us through the door he drove me home in his police cruiser immediately after that oh [ __ ] sudden oh [ __ ] this is just went from zero mm oh ho it's police cruiser oh [ __ ] 45 minutes in silence with his shotgun in the backseat and the condom still on my super flaccid dick kappa blocked from param-pam-pam as we road travel up the list of 50 most not-safe-for-work family moments we arrive in number 11 wow I thought it would make a good idea make it guy yeah watch your try reading that again I thought it'd be a good idea to make breakfast out of yourself cuz makes over here I can make it don't break it I thought it will make a good you saying make again I thought it would be a good idea to make breakfast for my dad and stepmom cooking it all got it ready bought the plates in and thought bringing it unannounced would be a wonderful surprise I was not greeted by smiles instead I was presented by an image that is forever burnt into my mind my dad under the covers obviously plugging away with my stepmoms head hanging off the side of the bed with her eyes closed and showing me her o face i retreated quickly what my brain went well better put that in permanent storage and make it one of the clearest memories possible don't worry you won't be forgetting any detail at all this is why we knock yeah this is what separates savages from from [ __ ] civilized people you knock upon the jaw you dumb [ __ ] now I'm going to surprise a melanin no no no no you do not go into another place of residence would you want this for you [ __ ] you could be doing anything in there you could be doing anyone in there what's going on in the stupid dream chat Alex do Sanders has claimed police dad's abuse their power to intimidate their daughter's boyfriends but police dads do abuse their power to do everything police's full stop you hear me polices you hear me police's man uh hello clean says news flash - crazy dad's it's still not legal to murder someone for having consensual sex with your daughter hello we know you have a lot of sex with guys man I'm guessing that yeah it's it's it's spilled over into your dad's [ __ ] plate this is why I like good girls like faith she just has nothing to do with your your crazy lives jesus lord that hill a clean life that [ __ ] for a high five kind of hill a clean life she should change her name to hill a dirty you know what I'm talking about cuz ain't nothing clean about the way she livin you see what I did there you see what uh on the list of 50 not see for work family moments we arrived at number 10 can you believe it there was a time when my family lived in a tiny apartment we had one bedroom with a double deck to bed and my parents slept on the bottom bunk and my older sister and I slept at the top well one night I wake up to the bed shaking and I'm peeking below and I realized my parents were having sex on a bunk bed guys come on I was maybe eight or nine or so I wasn't really grossed out but just really confused my sister slept through the entire thing so or so I've always thought you know what you guys should have done since your parents were disgusting enough to have sex with with their two children on the top bunk you guys up top should have started having sex and then it wouldn't then they would have been like [ __ ] are you guys doing you'd be like what the [ __ ] are you guys doing huh exactly we did it as a cautionary tale and then the sisters are like it's hypothetical it's funny like it happened [ __ ] Haley to say something Haley who hasn't spoken to me in [ __ ] weeks dude I got it to [ __ ] say something than stream chat you guys are all poses and I want you to know that man like I said in the song by Flight Facilities Krave you a lot of you guys say that you want attention and make it seem like it's the end of the world for you guys but it's really all about getting attention from a specific person and I just want to I want to clarify that for some people because some people living in a delusion they live in like they're like oh man if somebody would just give you the time of day well there are plenty of people were willing to give you the time of day it's not just not the people that you've looked at both beep oh I'll stop being a [ __ ] poser goddamn all right damn what the [ __ ] so as we roll up to uh whatever the hell we're going to number nine I walked in on my aunt having sex with somebody who wasn't my uncle in my grandma's bed at grandpa's funeral damn we don't have a button for that where's the button for that um sir there it is all right so number eight I was on a road trip with my parents and the family dog after my brother went to college we checked into a hotel room with to clean beds my parent took one and the dog and I were in the other my dad wanted to gross me out and said now son if I hear anything in the middle of the night or if you hear anything in the middle of the night keep your eyes on that wall and pointed behind me with one hand putting his arm around my disgusted mom with the other hand I put my arm around the dog and said okay but I expect the same courtesy somebody said my dog's name's chip not Colby oh why I gotta make Colby references that's [ __ ] up you don't make Colby references for anybody who doesn't know about the poor poor dog named Colby well you've got some youtubing to do after this because let me tell you something I don't think any other YouTube's youtubers have been disgusting enough to touch the Colby story so just type in literally see why a e L and then Colby into YouTube and then uh oh boy you got a video right there about uh about some [ __ ] that went down Oh guys I really don't have creepy stuff to you know read because you know a lot of people just send me really whack ass pasta because the the [ __ ] that they read that's not scary you know it gets it rustles their jimmies that's what that's what they get down on I'm gonna need you guys to just you know snapchat CY AEL some some pretty dank creepy [ __ ] because I've come this close to reading Edgar Allen Poe and you know I don't think a lot of people are gonna appreciate that you know who I thinks gonna appreciate that like seventeen of you and I love you seventeen but I wanted to have wide appeal in a way where like people who have seen it would even want to go back and [ __ ] see it again Oh Haley says sorry about using super chat to donate stream Labs doesn't work for Canadian zip field that's utterly fine and I appreciate this you've really look I'm sorry alright I'm sorry about that I'll change it so that will do it right now we'll change it right now okay will change the noise right now the problem is I was doing this other stream that was like you know creepy oriented or whatever so I changed the noises for a couple of different things any day now stream labs you were so bad like what the boy super job oh it's super check and do text-to-speech I should do that I'll make that three to change this to like some kind of nope nope no oh yeah [Music] let's go with that one I apologize I'm sorry for all that noise [ __ ] just dive back into the list gaël you're George you're killing yourself um number seven my weight yeah number seven my auntie rang my best mate who was mowing her lawn during the time and asked him to [ __ ] her he declined it's good because even though I don't see her often she usually slips me 50 bucks I figure it's her way of saying shut the [ __ ] up cool he declined that's messed up that poor lady candy-striped says okay al there's a game called faith that came out like a little week ago is it about her my tongues acting weird like it wants to be eaten top-up stop it oh my god I'm not crazy there's something going on my tongue okay God you are on a live mic and people are gonna think you're [ __ ] nuts thank you again to Moffitt's order for going above and beyond I hope you're having a good day Kyle well you're a part of it so it's a good day isn't it isn't it as we roll up to number six as we put the finishing touches on this list I let my stepsister and her friend see me naked when I was younger for $5.00 seeing the other gender nude was um wasn't a mouse-click away yet it was hard work and you wondered about things and $5 that's when you could get stuff done for five dollars let me deliver that one more time I didn't know where the sentence was going but I know now okay Ben five dollars that was when you could get stuff done for five dollars slap it on some fraud dollars that was a couple of packs of baseball cards a slice of pizza with a soda several games of Donkey Kong or asteroids deluxe at the pizza place down the street from my house down street from my hair up buffet down every pub ah sorry oh let me talk aha she says I'm gonna need some kitten mittens is she real I wish she were related to Dean takahashi that'd be my end dude that would be my in we all need an inn at the end of the day [Music] as we arrived at number five when I was still in school I came home with my girlfriend at the time we're upstairs in my room and she's given me a [ __ ] across the room I see the door start to slowly and ridiculously silently open in walks my father sees me sees her most awkward eye contact ever in a panic I do the only thing I could think of I point him out the door just as quietly as he came in he was gone and on that day he gained my eternal respect she still doesn't know dad was a bro when it counted most I pointed him out the door do you see that would be funny up here if you if you you know took both of his hands and extended his palms towards the sky like what's going on here bad dog that's a cool dad man that's a cool dad fake says can I have five dollars legendary fat man responds with are you gonna be gay I was gonna unmod legendary fat man so she could respond to that question popper properly are you gonna be gay number four guys were reaching the end I was helping my then-boyfriend sister move into a new place and the keys were at the new house and somebody needed to go get them so my boyfriend and I drove over to get them and while we were there we did a little exploring of the new empty house we realized there was an attic and opened the ceiling door to let the steps down I climbed up first and being in a skirt gave my boyfriend a nice view we ended up having sex right there on the Attic ladder and right in the middle we hear the door open boyfriend's name called out a pause then the door shut we sheepishly returned to the rest of the family at the old house to find his sister trying not to laugh hysterically she says their mother came over to try and find out what was taking so long upon her return she just loudly exclaimed they were [ __ ] to this day it's our favorite phrase to exclaim they were [ __ ] my then-boyfriend and to this day either you two are still good friends or got married got married oh that's so cute what a cute story suck my fat balls okay my gun it cannot be nice and sloppy oh come on it's like a jalopy balls okay number three when I was 18 I dated a girl she lived about an hour away so I would stay in her house overnight but her parents wouldn't let us stay in the same room so I slept in a guest bed in the basement being 18 year old we would be up very late and go to bed around 2:00 a.m. her dad was some kind of delivery driver and worked around 4:00 a.m. he came down to the basement every single morning before work and masturbated to porn on the desktop computer while I was sleeping 10 feet away damn banal Vulgarian I got another freaking sponsor baby slapping awesome toast why thank you but no I appreciate you that's pretty dang but no he came down into the basement every single morning before work and masturbated to porn on the desktop computer while I was sleeping 10 feet away there was only a couch between us so the first couple of times I lifted my head to see what he was doing before I realized you better believe I didn't keep it a secret from her I quietly text from under the blanket your dad jerking it again right next to me some you video bruh somebody said just showing dominance in his household oh my god somebody said the real dominance came from Opie's blanket that he would use to clean himself after number two men when I was 14 or so one of my cousins from my mom's side of the family came with us to my grandparents dad's side of the family Christmas Day we were staying there that night with my entire extended family which is a nightmare in itself my dad's brother after drinking all day after finding out the cousin and I will be sharing a bed in the back of the F 4wd comes up to me and says really slyly you and your little girlfriend of sharing a bed huh I inform him that she is my cousin and he looks blankly at me and says that's okay my first time was with my cousin [ __ ] walked I hadn't mentioned this to anyone because it was weird and made me a little uncomfortable my cousin got married two weeks ago and at the reception I told my dad about this about what his brother had said some 15 years ago my dad just looked at me and said yeah we both had our first times with Shelly [Music] oh my god oh my both both both oh my god oh my god okay listen I'd like to thank all of you for being a part of this list of 50 most not safer work family moments as usual I'd like to thank my dank ass patrons for doing what they do you know what I mean they're superheroes and not all of them wear capes just you know like when they're about to eat they wear you know like this kind of like it's almost like a bib but it's like it you know just like a napkin because you want to mess up your shirt you know sometimes you sometimes even if you're not I miss heaters sometimes they give you a sandwich and it's got too much [ __ ] and then you take a bite and it's just like splooge Anala well you couldn't have anticipated that you can't know that you got to take safety precautions sometimes and that's what they do that's why many patrons do and I appreciate them there's nothing wrong with that so I'd like to also thank my sponsors who we're dank and incredible and oh my god here comes banal Vulgarian find a way to slip on to the oh wait I'm in Armando and guitar slingers face with the tip jar let's go ahead okay so I'd like to thank you guys I would like to thank a hot and sexy thank you you know what I'm talking about specifically to Casey because Casey Quinn made the donation happen tonight that's ten slice finger bing-bong nice hot sandwich dollars tonight that's pretty dank that's pretty freakin dank dude also Moffat donated via the snapchat and I want to thank her because she saw it and I want to thank Saif for donating via super chat as well did I say snapchat I'm in super chat when when I said 23 days of Christmas is it Halloween that [ __ ] was ridiculous that [ __ ] was ridiculous so as we roll up to number one I skipped school I used to do it all the time because my dad worked 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. most days and was a single father I was in my room as per norm and he came home early he I didn't want to get caught so I stayed perfectly still my bedrooms at the top of the stairs the the computer is right at the base of the stairs dad watches porn for the next hour I think he heard a squeak cuz he stopped to holler up the stairs for me but didn't budge didn't move didn't say anything just waited five minutes pass he satisfied goes back to business I never told him and I never skipped school again what if he knew dude what if he knew stay in school keys somebody said damn I remember just before my father's death he was sleeping in the living room he slurred what he snored loudly and my mom couldn't take it one night I went downstairs to the kitchen and caught him jerking it quite hard living room is right by the stairs he managed to cover himself before we made eye contact he was vividly startled and pissed off a bit he told me to [ __ ] off upstairs and we never spoke about it again I had to drink tap water from the bathroom upstairs oh my god somebody said he asserted his dominance over the house everybody in the the dominants assertion come on it's killing me Oh today was a really long day I'm just glad I managed to get through this freaking stream thanks to Moffat and everybody one day after cutting off 11 years worth of dreads cool you're what we call a bald head in Jamaica now and you're stupid you know so whatever dumb you know preppy ho girl puss you're drowning and realize that that's the type of basic [ __ ] that's gonna be like oh my god we should get married let's watch all of the office from the beginning to the end do you want Game of Thrones you know any like Rick and Reid I love it when he says I love a dub dub kill yourselves your life has been lived a billion if there was a pickle for every Joe in the world we'd finally be able to see what the average Joe looks like what I want to see what this is but it's not it's to not-safe-for-work oh my god [Music] oh my god [Music] oh my god I'm going to show the stream what it is without showing it on screen I'm going to show the stream what it is without showing it on screen oh my god [Music] [Music] what does anybody have to say about that in the stream Chuck hmm all right I'm dead so I'll see you guys you know I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful evening you'll see me tomorrow oh I'm thinking about playing amnesia oh my god it says asserting dominance what do you mean by that Michael Davis that video reminds me of the dog that figures out how to jack off my god let's not let's not and say we did guys what what what what what what dogs and chickens you know what we need there was this uh I saw this thing on made me smile today where it was like a cat just trying to get all in the face of a Derek here it is and it's all like hey what there it is was it keep stopping you're right that is not the full gift what's happening it's not playing the full gift which is so weird there it is top comment says my cats do this to my dog but then as soon as he reacts to them they whack him with their paws so he's learned to just stand still as a statue while the two dogs nuzzle him and he always has a terrified look in his eyes knowing he is one flinch away from disaster it's adorable human helped me oh my god why are the smaller dogs so mean to me oh boy you guys have a wonderful night

Channel: undefined

Views: 8,043

Rating: 4.5675673 out of 5

Keywords: funny, confession, top ten

Id: xNF6-kIlvFU

Length: 99min 14sec (5954 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 12 2017