Life is hard. But what makes it even harder is that our
minds invariably focus on the negatives rather than the positives. The sad part is we often can’t help it. It’s part of human design. Naturally, as hunter-gatherers, we needed
to pay special attention to dangerous situations in life lest we became food for a wild tiger
nearby. This is called the Negativity Bias and it
states that things of a more negative nature have a greater effect on one’s psychological
state and processes than neutral or positive things, even when of equal intensity. Researchers at Harvard University found this
to be true through an interesting experiment. They asked participants to identify “blue”
dots from a series of a thousand dots ranging in color from blue to purple. These dots would flash on the screen one after
the other. Initially, participants identified the colors
pretty accurately. At this time, roughly half the dots were blue
and half were purple. As time went on, however, the researchers
started showing fewer blue dots. Strangely, the participants reacted by identifying
a greater number of blue dots than were actually present. As the number of blue dots decreased, the
participants started identifying dots as blue when in reality, they were a shade of purple. It’s as if the participants were trained
to see and expect a certain number of blue dots. And even when they were not shown, the participants
expanded their definition of “blue” to include shades of purple. Okay, enough with the blue dots. Now comes the interesting part. In further experiments, the researchers found
the same effect when participants had to identify aggressive faces from a group that ranged
from ‘very threatening’ to ‘not very threatening,’ and again when separating
unethical research proposals from ethical ones. Even though the occurrence of “problems”
went down, participants began to misread friendly and neutral faces as threatening and ethical
proposals as fraudulent. This came to be termed as the “Blue Dot
Effect” which suggests that our mind is conditioned to look for threats and issues,
regardless of how safe our environment is. This means you could be sitting on a vacation
in your dream city but still find yourself focusing on the negative aspects of the journey. The better things get, the more we nitpick
on even the smallest of issues. This is evident in the fact that we live more
comfortable lives than ever before but our satisfaction levels somehow don’t improve. While this is how our brain is wired, there’s
definitely some good news — we can change this! Cultivating a positivity bias is just like
any other habit. Similar to learning the guitar or a dance
routine, you will learn with repetition. To Cultivate a Positivity Bias, First Experience
The Positive The brain learns by repetition. In order to continuously identify the positives
in your life, you first need to experience these positives consistently, on a daily basis. This implies you need to have moments of calm,
peace, happiness, and joy in your life so you can eventually make them your default
state. As you learn to engage in these states of
consciousness deliberately, the brain will form new neural connections to turn this into
a habit. New connections in your brain are being formed
at every moment. The more you focus on the negative, the more
your brain will be trained to focus on the negative. The more you focus on the positive, the more
the brain will learn to find positivity. Most people, however, don’t have the level
of awareness this practice requires. They’re running frantically from one thing
to the next without even being aware of their own biases. To cultivate this awareness, I would highly
recommend some sort of mindfulness training. It can be meditation, mindful walking, or
anything else that grounds you in the present moment. All the positive emotions that we talked about
exist abundantly in the present moment. But bringing the mind to the present moment
is a challenging task. That’s what mindfulness helps you with. As you come back to the present moment, you
will start to experience those positive feelings inside you. Your task from thereon will be to simply extend
those feelings and states of consciousness to cover as much of your life as possible. The H-E-A-L Framework To Take In The Good
Psychologist Rick Hanson writes in his book Hardwiring Happiness about how the feelings
of contentment and connection, with centers in the mid-brain and pre-frontal cortex, are
easily overwhelmed by physical survival patterns that inspire negative thinking. To overcome this bias, Hanson argues that
we need regular doses of positive thoughts. Thus, he suggests practicing the HEAL method
based on positive neuroplasticity. Let’s look at the different components of
the practice: Have a positive experience
The first step is to notice a positive experience that you’re already having. If not, then try to create one by looking
for the good things in the current situation. Try it now. Think of a time when you were content, happy,
and satisfied with what was going around. That’s your positive experience. Hopefully, this shouldn’t take more than
a few seconds. With practice, this process will become much
easier. Enrich it
The second step is to enrich the positive experience by staying with it. Notice the sensations and the imagery associated
with that great experience. Embody it to make it real and intense in the
present moment. Think about how it made you feel. What else are you able to notice about that
experience? Go in as much detail as possible. Stick with your positive thought with a broad,
open body, mind, and spirit. Absorb it
After you enrich the experience, let it percolate into the depths of your heart. Take it in in a way that really seeps into
you. Since positive thoughts are often so short-lived
in our brains, we need to make them stick for a longer time. Create a sort of mental snapshot of that experience
and store it in memory. The deeper you go in this step, the easier
it will be to remember it again the next time. Link the positive and the negative
Once you’ve skillfully learned to take in the positive experience, it’s time to find
a negative experience in your life and “rewire” it. This is important because let’s face it
— life isn’t going to give you as many positive experiences as you’d like. Initially, try not to pick something too hard
for this step. Pick a mildly negative experience, for instance,
someone talking rudely to you. Now let both the positive and the negative
experiences mingle a bit in your head. Think of the positive one, but keep the negative
one at the back of your mind. Hanson says “what goes together grows together.” This means that when you face that particular
negative experience again, the positive experience will automatically come to mind, making it
easier to deal with the negative. The “Even Though” Technique
“Even though” is just a reframing technique to put your negative experiences into context
and finding the good things in everything. It includes making a statement that starts
with “even though” to reframe negative experiences into positive. For example:
“Even though I scored badly on my exam, it’s not the end. I have other opportunities and I’m okay. I’m doing other things that I feel inspired
by and can take on other options to build a career”
“Even though my grandmother passed away, she loved me a lot and taught me invaluable
lessons. I can draw on her love whenever I want.” “Even though I failed in this business,
I scaled it to a certain level, met many interesting people, and learned a lot about entrepreneurship. I can use them for my next project.” This is a simple technique that you can use
to acknowledge what happened, yet take in the good without beating yourself up. All of these techniques rest on one simple
principle — what you focus on grows. Our minds may be biologically built to focus
on the negative, we can retrain them to do the opposite. The good news is you can control your experience
of life just by changing what you focus on. And you have more power over this than you
believe. So start taking in the good right now.
