28. Jesus, Marriage, and Sex [Matthew] - Tim Mackie (The Bible Project)

I invite you to grab a Bible and turn with me to the Gospel according to Matthews for a year now we've been slowly working our way through the Gospel according to Matthew we're going to finish out in Resurrection Sunday next year Easter and you know I've said this a couple times as we go through you know you're forced to take in all of Jesus's teachings and sometimes you come across ones that warm your heart make you feel the love other times you come across teachings of Jesus that are intimidating and kind of terrifying and then there are other times you come across teachings of Jesus and you're agitated because because we you realize that being children of our culture we don't see eye-to-eye with Jesus on this one and were scandalized by what he has to say and I think this is one of those so just let's just read it and I won't need to tell you why you'll see for yourself Matthew chapter 19 so when Jesus had finished saying all of these things it's the teachings on forgiveness and all that stuff from chapter 18 he left Galilee and he went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan and large crowds were following him that's not news is it that's just kind of normal now the new normal for Jesus crowds everywhere and He healed them there now some Pharisees came to test him and they asked is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason haven't you read jesus replied that at the beginning the creator made them male and female and said for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh so they are no longer two but one flesh therefore what God has joined together let no one separate then they asked well why did Moses command that a man gives his wife of divorce and sent her away then jesus replied Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard it was not this way from the beginning I tell you anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another woman commits adultery then the disciples said to him oh man if this is the situation between a husband and a wife it's just his way better to never get married and Jesus replies you know not everyone can accept this word but only those to whom it's been given for there are eunuchs who were born that way and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others and then there are those who choose to live like eunuchs or some of your translations have who make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven the one who can accept this should accept it Oh Oh shoes there you go there you go I guess then so let's just count them up marriage divorce remarriage sex adultery gender Jesus weighs in on some Wyatt topic okay and I can already promise you that the talk I'm about to give is inadequate it's totally inadequate because these issues are so sensitive and they're so personal and there's they're serious and they're controversial right can you think of any set of topics that is more controversial right now in our culture other than my gun control really I'm quite serious like Jesus is weighing in here on issues that are really charged and they're charged because of our culture in debate but they're also these questions matter and I have feared trembling right now and I never get nervous before sermons but I totally am right now because because this isn't just about issues this is about people like it's what Jesus says here affect every single person in the room it also affects people who aren't here in the room and that we really care about and love and I've had the strange privilege and wonderful experience of reading and reflecting on Matthew 19 that we just read aloud with so many different kinds of people with with single people who are straight and wishing they could be married with single people who are gay and wishing they could be married or planning on getting married I've read and reflected on this text with couples on the verge of divorce who don't want to be on the verge of divorce who I've read this and reflected on this text with people who are looking back on the divorce these effect issues that are so sensitive and so personal and they affect people they affect us and they affect people that we care about and so now I'm going to do what I always try and do which is what is Jesus saying what did he mean in in his context in his time and in his place because especially in issues and passages like this it's so tempting to make Jesus say what we would like him to say and and so let me just predict something right now what's going to happen in our gathering as we reflect on this together some of us are going to leave the gathering today and you're going to resonate and agree with what Jesus says some of you are going to leave the gathering today and you are not going to resonate with Jesus and you're going to disagree I fully expect that and and that's a fruit of something that's intentional on our part namely is that doorphobia community were people all over the mat spiritually or whatever feel comfortable and we want dora hope to be that kind of community because jesus formed that kind of community around himself and Jesus was also really clear that he called people to follow him and that following him would challenge every part of our lives especially in his where we don't resonate with him and he still calls us to follow and so I know that this is going to ruffle feathers and I just I'm just going to I can't say everything that needs to be said this did I already say that that my talk is already inadequate from a beginning all right so I just give me grace and as I've reflected I'm going to try and just focus on what I think the heartbeat of this issue is for Jesus and if we can just focus on that then I think the implications of this teaching flow out of this and you go into your community groups and your cups of coffee with friends and so on and begin to fill it out you guys with me okay let's uh let's just dive in and we'll we'll learn together so first thing to remember where this teaching fits in in in the gospel is we're on the road trip you guys tired of hearing me talk about the road trip I'm not I'm not tired of the road trip because it's important every single story in here fits into that so back way up in chapters two katene Jesus was way up north that's real syllabi he set his face to go to Jerusalem because he knows he's going to become king thereby dying but giving up his lives so he's he just did a pit stop in Galilee around the lake Capernaum was his home base and you see that's how our story begins he left Galilee he was on the road took a pit stop and now he's taking the road down the Jordan Valley on the way to Jerusalem Jerusalem is is Washington DC and Hollywood in New York all put together it's the center of everything and so he's a he's has a reputation people know that he's coming and so leaders religious leaders whose power bases in Jerusalem start sending envoys up to Jesus as he comes on his way the Pharisees come and they ask him this question right and where is their question genuine no math is really clear they came to test him is the tract ridiculous the trap and the question that they asked him this month this is not a question you would use to track someone these days maybe it is I don't know is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason is that a hot topic in our culture right now there's other hot topics that's not really one of them but it was in their day it was in their day this this question was as loaded as asking you know the presidential candidates about their views on gun control in the Democratic whatever debates that are going to be happening this coming week so it's that loaded and when you when you have a loaded question it's not just about the question right it's about where did that question come from and why is this a hot topic and why do they want Jesus to declare what side he's on and what's the history of the debate and and so on and so to understand the meaning of this question we need to look at two Old Testament passages then we're going to look at Jesus's answer which is really the heartbeat I think of this whole this whole teaching of Jesus here's TRACON okay so they're asking you about divorce so here's something that's interesting is they're ancient Israel was given a whole bunch of laws if you've ever tried to Bible read through in a year the reason what you always fail in March it's because you you the story stops after the Exodus and they reach Mount Sinai and guards God starts giving all of these laws to ancient Israel 613 of them and they start with the ten the famous Ten Commandments but then six hundred and three more follow along with more story and so here's what's interesting out of all of those 613 commands given to Israel to set them apart from the nation's only two of them gives any guidance whatsoever about divorce - now that's odd given that it's a pretty important issue you head to human society - here's the first one Exodus 21 if a man marries a second wife he must not deprive his first wife of food clothing or sex somehow our English translations are bashful and translate sex as conjugal rights but there you go this is what that means if he doesn't provide these things for her she is free to go without paying back the bride price random Bible to the effect first divorce law in the Bible there it is so first of all when you come into these laws in the Bible what you should never do is compare them to modern law that'll just bad start right so God gave these laws to ancient Israel to set them apart from their ancient neighbors and God and these laws don't represent God's morals ideal they represent God working with Israel as he founded them after centuries in slavery in Egypt and after centuries in slavery in Egypt we find in Israel that practices polygamy where men could acquire more than one wife very common practice it still is in some cultures today but way more way more back then so God finds Israel as a culture that practices polygamy and so what God does is this just think put in ancient culture patriarchal culture practices polygamy which which gender gets the short end of the stick in that equation alright just give it two seconds of thought if men can acquire lies why is like property in that kind of culture they can discard them like property and they did and so God gives this law here to minimize the fallout or the damage of polygamous marriages so that if a husband does acquire a second wife he cannot neglect or abuse deprived his first wife you see that right there be with me so just talking to think about this I know you wouldn't think this the first time that you read through the law but in the culture of ancient Israel whose dignity does this law protect just say it out loud women right women this wife this first wife here so it doesn't jump them ahead to twenty-first century Western whatever but that's rather presumptuous to think that God ought to make everybody like American right so what God does is he works with Israel and he pushes Israel towards a greater principle of wisdom and justice especially protecting someone who in ancient Israel would have been vulnerable very powerful and so what's underneath this here what's underneath this is a view of marriage that marriage involves a promise set of promises or vows a covenant promise that these spouses will provide for each other food clothing and sex and if the husband consistently neglect and you can see how very quickly we're on the verge of not just neglect but abuse in not providing food clothing and not having sex with his wife and so so what ended this marriage I think that's the principle here who ended the marriage here wife's free to go but did that end the marriage is the wife leaving actually breaking the marriage covenant no what's underneath this is that husband has broken the marriage vows he has not done what he said he would do and in that case the marriage is broken and the wife is free to go so the divorce doesn't end the marriage the divorce is just recognizing what's already happened in reality namely that the husband has broken his marriage vows you guys with me here because just we're just explaining the first divorce law in the Bible let's look at the second one because it is nowhere near as simple is this if that were simple right this is okay here we go I'm just going to read it and we go if a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds a matter of indecency about her and if he writes her a certificate of divorce and gives it to her and sends her from his house and if she leaves his house and becomes the wife of another man and if her second husband also dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce and gives it to her and sends her from his house or if he dies then - then her first husband who divorced her is not allowed to marry her again that is one complete sentence which is long and torturous and Hebrew as it is in English right so what's this law about well what really this is a law about remarriage isn't it it just assumes that a divorce has happened and really it's a law about remarriage that a husband can't remarry a wife that he divorced if she's already been married and then divorced again but act that's not what I want to focus on because that's not what the raging debate in Gia's day focused on this this law right here is precisely the source of the debate that Jesus is being tested on right here and the source of the debate is that first sentence right there if a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him and he finds a matter of indecency then apparently he can write her certificate of divorce and divorce her so the million-dollar question here is what well what does it mean that the husband is displeased and what is this matter of indecency and welcome to the debate welcome to the debate the matter of indecency is a strange technical legal phrase in Hebrew that occurs only here in all of ancient Hebrew literature which means what which means it does not have a clear meaning how do you find out the meanings of words what is what do people who write dictionaries do for a living all right they read literature and collect all the places where words occur and then begin to make decisions about the meaning of a word what do you do if you have an ancient word of a dead language all right then you don't know the meaning of a phrase debate you debate about it and so the raging debate is and here's the two positions right so one one position and we know this debate has survived in literature Jewish literature from Jesus's day that we have still here today Jewish literature called the Mishnah and in the Dead Sea Scrolls and all this kind of thing so but we know that there are two main camps here and Jesus is being tested as to what camp he belongs in one camp is connected to a rabbi a prominent rabbi in Jesus day named rabbi shammai and Shammai took into consideration exodus 21 and said that this is referring specifically the indecency is referring specifically to something about sexual infidelity about adultery sleeping sleeping you know getting caught in bed with with some other man and that that's what this is is referring to there was another camp connected to a prominent rabbi named Hillel Berg famous rabbi hello lots of synagogues and schools named after Rabbi Hillel even still today and he took a view that is called the more lenient or open view and actually he took his cue from the word displeasing and he said it's anything that doesn't please the husband and that can refer to a whole host of things and you can read the list of things that it could refer to if your wife bakes dinner or bread and burns it that's the indecent and that's grounds for divorce according to the Torah rabbi Hillel said rabbi Akiba said that if your wife becomes displeasing to your eyes that's legitimate grounds for divorce yes so just stop right there I want you to stop and think through what that means we're talking about adopting a view that says only men can divorce and initiate divorces and they can do so for any and every cause I would just stop and think about the implications of that we're tracking and think about the kind of culture that that would produce and it would it be any surprise to you to know that from all of the Jewish literature and even I like divorce documents from Jesus's day that have been dug up by archaeologists would it surprise you to know which of the two laws became the most popular adopted practice in the Judaism of Jesus day can you yes right the any and every cause view rabbi hillel view and so Jesus has grown up the disciples have grown up in a culture where men can divorce their wives for any and every reason but women cannot do the same Exodus 21 as far as we can tell was totally ignored by the Jesus day in his in his culture and so just stop and think about what that means what that means and Jesus being asked Jesus where do you weigh in on this debate and he is so agitated you can tell because he does what he always does when he thinks that we are on an adventure in missing the point what he'll do is he won't even answer the question that he's being asked and he'll just start in on a thing about what he thinks is the root issue which is precisely what he does Jesus what do you think about the hot topic and Jesus is like man man have you you guys ever read your Bibles before he's talking to Bible scholars have you guys read your Bibles before because see there's this there's a story on pages 1 & 2 of the Bible when Jesus wants to reflect on the meaning of marriage and on the meaning X actually of human existence where does he go it's very important that the principle for learning how Jesus thinks about things if you if you want to ask Jesus anything about sex or marriage or divorce or gender as we'll see where does Jesus go to say let's start here he goes to pages 1 & 2 of the Hebrew Scriptures and so here this is really interesting here's what he does he says listen if you want to really know how to answer that question let's go back and think about two things here's something from page 1 of the Bible at the beginning God made male and female and said on page 2 for this reason a man leaves his mother mother and father United to his wife in the tube the two become one okay we're going to stop camp out here this is this is ground zero this is the center of everything for Jesus he's not going to engage in endless debates about prohibitions and qualifications what he's going to do is he's going to camp out and say according to the kingdom of God here's what humans are and here's what marriage is and if you get that right when the controversies come you will know exactly what view to take and how to follow Jesus because you'll have the right starting point and so the first thing he does is he quotes from the poem that's the first mention of the image of God in the Bible full of Bible trivia this morning heart way right where's the first time the image of God idea occurs in the Bible Jesus quotes from it right here God created humanity in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female he created them and God blessed them and said be fruitful and multiply fill the earth and so on okay so stop right here so Jesus he he wants to talk about the meaning of marriage and what he ends up doing is talking about the meaning of human existence what humans are and so DC quotes from the last line of the poem male and female he created them but as always with Jesus he just assumes that you know your Bible inside out and the earth the whole poem is going to come to mind so what's this poem about this poem is about God god forbid the people of ancient Israel to ever represent God with an image alright that's one of the first of the ten commands that he gave to Israel but God even though he tells Israel not to make an image themselves God can and does make an image of God's own self and what is it it's you you don't make idols but God can make an idol of himself and it's you you and look at what the poem does and this is so fascinating that this is the part that Jesus quotes so how how many species humans are there humanity human what Hebrew word for humans I mean you're a geek you know because I've told you this so many times over the years Hebrew word for human Adam or Adam Adam so God made Adam humanity in His image how many Adam are there not Adams but Adams are there on planet Earth how many species of human just one one Homo sapiens modern term for it so one humanity and that humanity is made in the image of God the purpose of this species that this species has a unique capacity in a unique calling to image God to reflect God something about God out into the creation and here's here's the thing so in the image of God he created him who's to him not a male human it that him is just a pronoun referring back to humanity in the image of God he created humanity now here's where the palm goes the palm says now there's one humanity but what what does that one humanity consist of two - so male and female so you have one humanity but that one humanity consists of two buying binary opposites right get gendered opposites now let's just pause right there I you could do endless footnoting and nuancing of that whole conversation right of what is gender the whole the idea of the spectrum of gender and and so on so Jesus isn't talking about that and Genesis 1 isn't talking about that she's making a broad observation you look at human species made up of two opposite genders male and female now here's something that's remarkable about humans is that when the one humanity made up is - when two of those opposite humans when they come together and have sex they make more humans hope you're not learning the second time we'll ask together so what do you guys with like that do you see how that's what the poem is saying the one becomes two becomes one again and what happens more humans reproducing so there's something about the one humanity that is yet to but when those two become one in the Covenant of love and marriage new life is generated and created and that is said to be an image of God that you have one God but yet somehow this God also has some kind of inner complexity but the story of the Bible is going to play out and that that inner being of God is a being full of such covenant love that the overflow of that covenant love between the two distinct pairs generates new life in creation you TRACON that's the meaning of this poem and Jesus cites this poem he says if you get this you'll you'll get the meaning of marriage and then he can say okay are humans however are humans the only creatures on earth made up of one species yet two genders that have sex and make more of themselves is that unique to humans of course it's not of course it's not so what so what what about this uniquely images God when humans do it and that's why Jesus quotes page 2 when a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife they become one the two become one so here's something that actually is somewhat against nature you could say is that humans they could have sex and reproduce all over the place like rabbits or whatever right but humans the higher human calling that images God is when two of them leave their biological origins and come and form a new family not just by having sex but by by a promise by a covenant promise and you can fill out Genesis 2 by going to the Proverbs and the prophets and the solemn about this vision of marriage as a covenant where a new family is created simply by the uttering of covenant promises and what are those covenant promises about well think about Exodus 21 it's a covenant promise that I'm going to care for I'm going to help feed and clothe and have sex with and bind my life and my love and my body to this one person of the opposite gender for the rest of my lives that's what it's happening here in Genesis chapter 2 and there's something about that it's unique to humans that elephants don't quite do this or whatever kangaroos so there's something there's something about this monogamous covenant promise that humans make to each other that sets them apart that human and and you can just take a thing about this from a modern point of view you know I'm I don't know some of you don't even care about reading stuff like this but I get really interested in this in the new atheist debates and so on and Richard Dawkins anybody okay so there you go whoever this book number of years ago called The Selfish Gene and what's the point of life here in our universe that has no God from his point of view and it's very simple for Richard Dawkins it's to survive life is wired to survive so that it can reproduce as much of itself as possible and angeas vision of the universe that that impulse is largely true but human beings are not just dirt they're also full of divine breath human beings are made with the capacity and the calling to rise above our nature and and to enter into this unique relationship of a covenant promise of love and out of that love between a man and women new human beings are generated and that is a image of God to symbol the lived breathing image of God's covenant love that also creates also creates life and it's against nature to a certain degree and just think I mean just think about this of the two genders both of them have a chemical right mahamasina both of them have a chemical but one of the species has a whole lot of this chemical for the most part that drives this particular gender to want to reproduce with as many partners as possible what's the name of this chemical called testosterone right and so so Richard Dawkins is absolutely right like it there is a degree of our wiring that is totally about being like rabbits but in giasses view the higher human calling what makes humans unique and what makes us image God is when we rise above that impulse we make a covenant promise of lifelong love to one of the opposite gender new humans are created in that context of commitment and promise and love and that is a symbol of God's own love and Jesus does that's the point if you get that then that will affect your view of everything else regarding sex and divorce divorce and remarriage in the definition of marriage hi guys doing that was I mean that was like a hyper dense theology lesson right there but this I think this matters this matters because what what you do in your practice with marriage or divorce or with your definition of marriage is you're assuming some view of what marriage is and you're assuming some view of what humans are when you make a decision about grounds for divorce or what is the definition of marriage and so Jesus knew that and so that's where he takes the conversation um I'm so nervous I need my note right now which luck it never happens okay so yes over Gia's view here's marriage it's a sacred symbol it's a sacred symbol whose purpose is to point all of us to God's nature as a being of Covenant love and and humans uniquely do that in the mail plus the email and then produces more alive and so on and Jesus says haven't you read your Bible so marriage is something that ideally is a permanent lifelong union that is not meant to be just broken for any and every cause that's he comes back into the debate here and the Pharisees get defensive because they're like well of course we read our Bibles you know Bible scholars and so GC remember their response here they say well why then Jesus since let's just be honest this is a debate can we go back to Deuteronomy 24 on the screen so they say quote from Deuteronomy 24 say look Jesus look at your Bible you tell us to read the Bible will tell you to read the Bible the Bible conclude here back and forth they say listen Moses commanded divorce in case there's a matter of indecency Moses commanded divorce and Jesus totally disagrees he says Moses did not command divorce he permitted divorce and that's because these laws in the Torah you can't just assume when you're reading a law that you're reading God's ideal moral vision for human lives the purpose of the laws is he found Israel as he found them and he's working with Israel in their ancient context and fallen state to push them towards greater justice and so Israel was a culture where divorce happened for all kinds of reasons and where people could leave without apparently even giving a certificate of divorce and so Israel was called to have a different process that had a step of writing this certificate and there had to be a legitimate reason and so Jesus responds by giving his view on the debate he gives his view for Jesus now that he stated the basic principle he's willing to enter into the trapped in the debate and so on what does Jesus's view about the meaning of the matter of indecency he just says it he says it sexual immorality he says it in verse 9 anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and mayor is another commits commits adultery hi guys done you tracking with how the flow of the conversation went right here but he says don't don't look to this law for God's ideal vision go to pages 1 & 2 if you want that if you want to know how God works in a bad situation and has to choose a lesser of two evils then read Deuteronomy 24 if you want to know what humans are for and what what marriage is go to pages go to pages 1 & 2 okay let's mean let's pause here because we're a significant point in this passage so the this teaching up to this point has really significant implications for if I'm a follower of Jesus how we deal with and talk about divorce and remarriage and what constitutes grounds for divorce if I'm if I'm a Christian I'm a follower of Jesus and you may be I've had to deal with this personally we deal with a lot in a church context right when people are having real marriage tensions here in our church community and so here's here's the basic this is very simple but I'm a fan of boiling it down very simple there's two there's at least two basic views there's two prominent views about what constitutes grounds for divorce if I'm a follower of Jesus and one view would be to look at verse 9 right here and say that Jesus said only sexual immorality constitutes grounds for divorce so a couple is married and one of them goes and sleeps with somebody else that's a breaking of the marriage vow and that breaks the marriage Union but the very common view and what makes this view unique is that nothing else constitutes legitimate grounds for divorce so if we're talking about a situation of abuse of verbal or sexual abuse or neglect or something someone who holds this view would say yeah you know that spouse should probably separate from their partner but they don't have biblical grounds to enacted divorce you guys familiar with that via so it's a very common view in my own mind that view has some severe weaknesses to it and they're these Jesus says this he gives this statement in verse nine in the context of a debate about the meaning of a technical Hebrew phrase in Deuteronomy 24 Jesus is not clearly giving a lecture a complete lecture on divorce and remarriage and what constitutes grounds like he's in the hot debate heated debate hot debate he's in a heated debate about the meaning of this phrase in Deuteronomy so he goes back to pages 1 & 2 and then he brings the conversation around and he gives he gives his view what does that phrase a matter of indecency mean it means only sexual immorality which for Jesus means having sex with someone that you are not so in a marriage covenant to between a man and a woman that's what the word means for Jesus in this context and it's what the word means throughout the rest of the New Testament so Jesus is delivering his view the question is well what did Jesus think about exodus 21 well we don't know because no one ever got into a debate with him about exodus 25 right that's the only reason we have him saying anything about Deuteronomy 24 if someone got into a debate with him about the meaning of Deuteronomy 24:1 you guys with me here so what what when Jesus takes the view that the matter of indecency refers only to adultery who is Jesus standing up for it's very important when Jesus takes the view that only adultery is what Deuteronomy 4 24 is referring to who is he standing up in defending in that moment this is a crucially important point that is almost always overlooked in this whole conversation Jesus takes the view that he does because he's talking to people our perpetrating a practice in his mind that is oppressive and distorted especially towards women that a man can divorce his life for any and every cause and Jesus stands up for every wrongfully divorced and abandoned and abused and neglected woman and he says Deuteronomy 24 refers only to sexual immorality that is crucial to see from our cultural point of view it sounds like he's being like hyper conservative or something like that right and he is taking the conservative point of view but he's taking it precisely because this practice was unjust and because this practice was ignoring the other divorce law in the Torah Exodus chapter 21 so here's what is also is interesting Exodus 21 is in the Bible but sin the Torah Jesus said he didn't come to set aside any of the commands of the Torah he took a view of Deuteronomy 24 where he stands up to protect the abuse of women and Paul the Apostle in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 also quotes Jesus he uses language from Exodus 21 when he talks about if you're a Christian and your spouse abandoned you what can you do except to accept the divorce that's legitimate and so view number two in my view I could be wrong about this I don't think I am but I could be and I'm fully open to more conversation debate about this there's a lot of different views represented even the door of Hope here but I think view number two is the most consistent with reading this passage in context and all of the rest of the teachings of Scripture hi guys done so let's go back to the heartbeat here the view that Jesus is getting so worked up about here is the Pharisees view according to the Pharisees what is the meaning and purpose of marriage it's to please men if a man can end a marriage for his wife being displeasing for any and every reason what's the worldview about marriage underneath that marriage is an institution that exists to please men and at the moment that the relationship doesn't please the man it's over divorce Jesus has a fundamentally different worldview about the meaning of marriage did you see that for Jesus the meaning of marriage is it's sacred it's to provide an image of the Covenant love of God where male and female both reflecting the image of God come together they vow covenant promises to each other and out of that covenant love new life is is generated and Jesus says that that purpose is compromised by the any cause any and every cause practice of divorce now watch what happens from here the disciples what are the disciples response it's clearly the first time they've heard Jesus really go into this because they're utterly surprised aren't they they're surprised they're like oh my gosh like why would anyone get married and now know okay so we'll laugh let's laugh haha alright but stop and think you guys what what kind of culture did they grow up in that would generate that response to Jesus's teaching they've grown up in a culture led by the Pharisees haven't they where marriage is an institution that exists to please men and all of a sudden Jesus lays down like this yeah that's totally not like God's vision what Merritt is and there's scandalized they've become so immersed in their cultures practice of marriage as exist to please and make people happy the moment it doesn't make people happy and they're like oh holy cow like is life long and like you work through your difficult issues together even when you don't like each other and like no way no way and what does Jesus response this is so remarkable what is Jesus response in essence his responses you are more right than you realize in essence in reality are talking about eunuchs my gosh this passage so UNIX all right here's the last code cultural thing right so let's just go there UNIX because I have found from a informal survey not everyone in our culture even knows what a eunuch is so a eunuch we're talking about an ancient practice here it's very common in ancient world not so much today though in some parts of the world it's still a reality so talk about a practice that begin with kings in a polygamous culture where kings could take many wives it would acquire many wives who are they going to get to be their staffers and servants who work in the castle and stuff like that and look over their property or their Haran male servants and so to ensure that their male servants wouldn't sleep with any of the Kings property they were castrated very common crack there Iver II common practice so Jesus alludes to the idea of eunuchs for Jesus he's in this teaching he's using eunuchs as a quatre as a group of people who will not have sex and who will not get married and who will not reproduce and so he says listen there are eunuchs who are made that way by kings by made that way by other people and and everyone would be like yeah so what's your point why are you talking about eunuchs right that oozes and then Jesus says this and this stop and think about this and it will floor you just like it did me then Jesus says there are other people who are eunuchs it's a metaphor so speak who are born that way so some people are born in such a way that they will not have sex they will not get married and they will not reproduce Jesus doesn't speak about this as if it's negative he just speaks about it like we all they all know this so this is the same Jesus who just quoted Genesis one said to humanity what does humanity consist of male and female but then here's Jesus acknowledging that there are some people who are formed in the womb in such a way that those categories are not so clean and neat are you with me here he acknowledges that and then the last thing he says is the real kicker he uses eunuch as a metaphor to describe himself he says there are those who will choose Elias of not having sex I'm not getting married and not reproducing for what purpose for what purpose for the sake of the kingdom of heaven now here we go here we go and we're back to the heartbeat of this whole thing Jesus is saying there are some he's talking about himself about his own choice to not have sex to not get married and not reproduce and why he's doing that because for Jesus the purpose of life is not happiness the purpose of life is the kingdom of God and that human beings will fulfill their true purpose when they are so made like God's own character that they are living breathing images of the loving Creator God and sup for some humans that will mean getting married because marriage in Jesus view is a symbol right it's a covenant symbol of the covenant love of God man woman to separate come together new life generated but in Jesus's mind is getting married the only way to image the Covenant love of God no no and this is this is a matter of historical fact Jesus was the first religious teacher that we know of to elevate the role of unmarried single life to be a normal honourable significant meaningful way of life in early Christianity was the first religious movement that elevated people not getting married as leading exemplary lives it's just the fact of the history of religion that the fact about Jesus and early Christianity and so here's the rub for us is that in our culture to hear Jesus say hear Jesus say you don't need to have sex to have a meaningful life I mean you may as well start talking about aliens you know what I'm saying like that is so off the map of our culture and I can really I'm just like we're children of Western culture you know I grew up here in Portland I watched the first hours of MTV like maybe some of you dating myself but you know I mean we we have grown up in the most visually sexually stimulated generation in the history of the human race don't tell me that that hasn't had a huge fundamental effect on our brains and on our view of what sex is and we have grown up in a culture that has completely separated set from the act of procreation so that sex is it's a commodity and it's something that I do that feels good it's and in a culture where sex is the it is the meaning of life in our culture don't tell me that it's not in America right there's the prude version that won't talk about the real America rather than whatever religious America or something then there's the real America that everybody's watching and participating in and then that America sex is the meaning of life don't tell me that it's not and and then the version right below that it is is the version that marriage right below sex is marriage as the primary path towards happiness and fulfillment in life and so within our culture it's completely logical that marriage would be redefined to be separated from gender and that sex would be redefined and separated from the procreation and creative could of course it makes sense what are the fact what's the founding vision of our country that every person has the Liberty to pursue life liberty and and happiness what is the best thing in life sex what's the best way to be fulfilled as a human being being married of course of course we are where we are today like it's not a surprise this shouldn't scandalize any of us and what should scandalize us is that the church in America has almost completely bought into this vision maybe not the sex part but definitely the marriage part why is it that in the majority of American churches single people feel isolated and not included and alone because the dominant paradigm is get married and have kids that's the pathway to the meaningful life and I just - just to be super clear I'm really pretty sure that Jesus doesn't share that view he didn't get married right I mean just like historical fact number one do you do you think Jesus did not have a meaningful life do you think Jesus actually didn't think meaningful life was possible because he didn't have sex and he didn't get married but that's we laugh at it because all of a sudden we was is so ridiculous he had probably the most meaningful human life that a human has ever had but somehow we don't compute that and so we end up creating churches where people who are not married feel second-class and where people who are gay feel even more ostracized because they where do they fit right and still here so here we're right to it in jesus's view in jesus do there are multiple ways that a human can image God's love one of them will be through marriage which Jesus defines as man woman one humanity gendered opposites coming together to procreate covenant promises create new humans as an image of the covenant love of God outside of that Jesus envisions a full meaningful significant human existence that does not involve having sex or having children but it does involve a life of covenant love oh absolutely and actually it involves the life of covenant love that is on a completely different level here's the reality sex feels good it is not the pathway to ecstasy because sex produces about as much heartbreak as it does ecstasy and marriage definitely not a guarantee of happiness or fulfillment I hope you have enough friends to realize that by now alright right or having kids I mean here's the thing here's what getting married and having kids is the recipe for a whole lot of sleep deprivation and a whole lot of investment of your time and your energy and your money building a healthy marriage takes an enormous amount of energy and intentionality and and and having kids involves a whole lot of sacrifice and all yes beautiful moments and amazing a moment and that are usually five minutes separated from moments of pain and agony also you wish made here this not marriage is not happiness it is certainly not bliss we just were so idolized Leasing as a culture we can't even see straight anymore what does a life of singleness whether you straight whether you're gay doesn't matter what is the life of singleness dedicated to Jesus lead to you have enormous amounts of time and resources for free now to dedicate to serving others to loving others in the name of Jesus and the history of the church is marked by incredible incredible heroes and heroines of the face who have done that and their lives were not diminished in one bit but somehow we've grown up in a culture that makes that seem ludicrous and second-rate and I actually think we're the ones who are not seeing clearly so here we go that's what I have to say that's what I have to say the implications of this are really significant that we can only begin to play out I don't think Jesus would recognize our culture's divorce for any cause practice I do think Jesus would recognize divorce it's a sad consequence when one of the partners has a hard heart and stubbornly keeps breaking the marriage vows at some point it has to stop and the other partner is free and go read the passages and pray about them or go read the wonderful book by David in stone brewer that's on the bookshelf I don't think Jesus would recognize our culture's redefinition of marriage and separating it from gender and precisely not because he's the bigot I can't think of a less bigoted person on the planet I enjoy us but here is some people say that Jesus never said anything that weighs in on the debate about the definition of marriage in our culture and I can't in intellectual integrity say that's true because he said this which seems to me to really get to the heart of the matter and so if I'm a follower of Jesus and I sense the high calling to not be married and to give my life what definite sexual orientation doesn't matter he's calling me to not have sex with people of the opposite gender or the same gender doesn't he doesn't highlight one is more than the other just as sex has its place within the Covenant symbol making of the image of God it's not the only way to symbol and it's the image of God but it is that way I guess good so I'm going to pray and I just want us to hear this I know that a million conversations just got kick-started right there and so god bless you as you go into them be nice to each other as you go into them but let's take seriously what Jesus said and let's take seriously the fact that the same here this that the same Jesus who said this is the same Jesus who said the meaning of human existence is to love God and to love your neighbor even that if it includes somebody that you don't like or that you disagree with and it's the same Jesus who loved every single one of us despite our flaws and our failures and you gave himself for us and so with this Jesus whether you're married whether you're divorced whether you're straight or whether you're gay there is no shame with this Jesus in Messiah Jesus there is no male or female no slave or free no Jew or non-jew no gay no straight just beautiful humans made in the image of God who were deeply flawed and who all need God's grace and we believe God's grace has come to us freely in the person of Jesus amen the good news that we come around together regardless of our disagreement let me close in a word of Prayer you

Channel: Tim Mackie Archives

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Length: 58min 38sec (3518 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 20 2017