<i> You ever think
about committing crimes?</i> <i> Well, now you can,
cause Captain Man's on strike</i> <i> and there's no one out there
to stop you.</i> You made a commercial
to encourage people to commit crimes. That's right. Crime wave minis
Captain Man equals the vice mayor realizes
he needs me, and comes crawling back
to daddy. - Ew.
- I'm daddy. Ew. What about all the victims
of the- D-D-D-D.
This is the best part. <i> Crimes like postal fraud,
pyramid schemes, mobstering,</i> <i> buffoonery, releasing
wild animals at the mall,</i> <i> pirating DVDs.</i> This is messed up. D-D-D-D.
This is the best part. <i> Or capturing Danger Force,
and slowly lowering them</i> <i> into a pit of lava.</i> You're encouraging crimes
against us? What is your problem? D-D-D-D.
This is the best part. <i> So get out there,
and get criming.</i> You spent four million
dollars on that? Ah, you got me.
It was five million. [grunting] Honey, I'm home. I just ate a load
of frozen yogurt. Give me a second. Captain Man. I can't bee-lieve
you found my hiving spot. Uh, yeah, look, I'm not going
to be able to do a lot of clever back
and forth right now. Dairy tends to back up
on me a little. Well allow me to give you
a swarm welcome. [buzzing] Swarm,
that's actually really good. Sorry to be such a buzz kill.
[laughing] [buzzing] You done? [buzzing] Seriously,
you're not in any pain? There's like a thousand bees
on you. [buzzing] I'm indestructible.
Bees can't sting me, so, if anything
it just kind of tickles. [buzzing] Okay, what about wasps? [giggling] Stop talking to them
and take out their teeth. Yeah. [whirring] Here we go. [screaming] [thudding]
[Kid Danger] Ow. The door didn't break. [Captain Man]
Then here, let me help you. [Kid Danger]
Whoa. Wait, what are you gonna- Whoa-oh! Ow! It's Captain Man and Kid Danger. You threw me through the door. Well, the past is the past. All right, Drill Finger. What? I'm taking you downtown. No chance. [grunting] Feel the finger. [groaning]
Hmm. Eh, what the? I-It was turning before.
You broke my drill finger. Yeah, well, I'm indestructible. What'd you think
was gonna happen? No, no, no, the sour apple. - We're being robbed again.
- No, the green one. - Fine. He's almost done.
- The other green one. Do we have any cereal at home? Who wants the lime flavored
bubble gum burner phone? Why don't you stop playing
video games and go check? Can you pay attention to me,
please? ...in the middle of a game. Part of the reason I rob people
is for the connection I feel, and I feel you're not even here
with me right now. Hey, look,
it's your old pal, Jeff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool.
Let's just hurry this up. Oh, man, I'm so excited. Well I don't even know
what we are. What does "fibbing" even mean? Where are you going?
I'm not done criming. [clearing throat] Ah! Robbing a store with a skunk?
That plan... stinks. Now you go, you go, you go. Ah. What the smell
are you doing? Now, come on. You're going to jail. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey,
hey, man, take your time. What?
What are you talking about? Let's slow fight this crime. I just want to get back
to my Nacho Ball. Hey, is this your new sidekick? - Maybe.
- No. We're just kind of vibing
right now. You don't even know
what that means. - I know it means.
- What does it mean? It means, like we're together,
but not really. I can't even talk to you. Spray hello to my little friend. [shrieking] [laughing]
Classic Jeff. Yeah. All right. Let's go. Come on. Thank you for helping me.
You fools! Is something supposed to happen? Yes. Usually smoke comes
out of my hand and then you bear
the market of Riker and I can control your mind. Mm. Is he controlling your mind,
dude? Nah, I'm just thinking
about cheese fries. Now I'm thinking
about cheese fries. Whoa, I'm controlling your mind. What? The cheese fries in your mind
are now covered in chili. Oh, now they are. [chuckles] You mock me. Yeah, we definitely mock you. Then taste my steel! [grunting, zapping] [chuckles]
He said, "Taste my steel". Hey, what's your deal, pickle?
Why you so mad? You'd be mad too
if someone stole your kingdom. - Huh?
- What's up, big dog? I am the rightful ruler
of Astoria. But my throne was taken away
from me. - Aw.
- That's not good. Buddy. I almost got it back,
but I was defeated by a squad of knights. And a wizard banished me
from my realm, and suddenly I was...
well, here. I get it. He's not a bad guy,
he's just scared. Yeah, he's just
a lost little puppy from another dimension. Yeah, with a sword
and sick face tattoos. Come on, pal. We'll get you home,
little fella. I'm bigger than you are. [chuckles]
Sure you are, little buddy. You know, in a way...
I'm kinda the king of this town. Oh, God. I couldn't help but notice
you're looking for someone named Concha? Yeah, so? Well, you see,
my name is Concha. Really? You wanna be my friend? Well, I don't know.
Tell me about you. What do you like? I like not getting maced
by moms. [chuckles]
Oh, moms, they are as protective
as they are attractive. Am I right? Yeah. [laughing] I'll leave you guys to it. Is that your katana over there? Uh, yep,
or as I like to call it, my Conchatana.
Let me show you. I love swords, and I love moms,
and I'd love it if you'd be my grown up friend. Well, that sounds just fine.
But can you do me a favor first? Anything. Will you be my hostage
while I rob this Nacho Ball? What? No! [groaning]
Why would you... [groaning] Hey, everyone, my name's Takeout
and this is a robbery. I thought you were my fr-
[screaming] [thudding] [dinging] - Whoa.
- Large man. - Oh.
- Larger. Get away from my towels. Mmm. Yeah,
this guy's pretty big, dude. So what. The bigger they are,
the louder they cry. Yeah, you're right. Full send. I said get away from my towels. Yeah, I heard you,
but listen to this. [grunting] [groaning] Uh, uh, Captain Man. Huh. I did not think
this was gonna happen. [screaming, shattering] [groaning] Okay,
so you can manhandle a kid, but just try to throw me
through a window. [screaming] [groaning] I did not think
that was gonna happen either. [groaning] Super scream me all you want,
doesn't change the fact that I used that ridiculous
little try hard to make you jealous. Uh, my dude. You could have just told us
that we hurt your feelings. Instead, you came up
with some ridiculous scheme... - Ah, revenge plot.
- ...to make us jealous. - It worked.
- And you ended up hurting the nicest kid in the world. Who, Lil' Dynomite,
the teeny tiny try hard? Uh, my guy? Hang on.
Lil' Dynomite was never gonna be a real part of Danger Force. I was just gonna use him
to teach you guys a lesson. I was gonna- I was gonna feed
him to Chess Monster. - I am a little hungy.
- Hey, Cap- Hey, hey, hey,
guess who I [unintelligible] Hey. "Hi, everybody,
I'm Lil' Dynomite. I say "sir" all the time.
I play a mediocre Flying the Lights
on the keytar." [laughing] Excuse me, sir. That's actually pretty good.
Who said that? Well, hey there, sport. I'm afraid I have a bone
to pick with you. Oh, is that right now? I'm sorry to say this,
but I just don't appreciate some of the mean things
you've been saying about me. Well, hey, hey,
did you hear that part about me saying
I was gonna adopt ya? Must have missed that
in the hurricane of insults, including those
about my keytar abilities, that frankly hurt more
than I care to admit. Well, we would've won
that Battle of the Bands if not for your- [thudding] Since when can do that? Since Shout Out
accidentally gave him Schwoz's power suit. - His what?
- Yeah, why did you do that? [chiming] No, dude! Sorry, I've got to answer it. [groaning] What do you want?! You're interrupting screen time! Oh, snap, my bad D Force. Just that, uh, me and the kid
are a little bit in a jimmy jam, <i> but, uh, don't worry about it.
We'll figure a way out of it.</i> <i> Oh, no, no, no,</i> we need them to help us get out
of here A.S.A. now. <i> Please come help us.</i> Sorry. Captain Man said
you guys would handle this call. She's right, kid, I did promise
we'd take this call. Gotta honor it,
even if he kills you. Please come help us. [stammering] Whatever you want,
Captain Man will give it to you. - You wanna fly the Man Copter?
- No. You want a bunch of puppies? <i> [stammering] I'll give it you
just please come-</i> <i> Just please come help us.</i> Puppies! We're on our way. Gee, kid, what's got
your brisket in a basket? Okay, I gotta level with you,
dude. Dystopia's really scary,
and I kind of messed with some things
that are so evil that I can't even explain, including this bounty hunter
named Blackout that literally eats
people's souls. And... he's hungry for mine,
so I came to Swellview because I thought I'd be safe
in the Man's Nest, but he clearly found me,
and he's going to eat our souls. So you didn't come to Swellview
to see me? - Huh?
- That's what I'm hearing. No, no, no. No, I did.
I did but, I- I also don't want
my soul to get eaten. And I needed to do some laundry. [shrieking] It's pitch black out, dude. Yeah, looks like Zone forgot
to pay the power bill, huh? No, no, no, no,
it always goes dark before Blackout shows up. Oh, this guy can turn off
the lights? - Oh, I'm so scared.
- Why you laughing? What does he do, unplug your amp
when you're playing guitar? And as I say that I realize Schwoz might've done that
on purpose. That little beast. I should never have come
here. I'm sorry for putting you
in danger, dude. Ah, relax, this loser doesn't
even have a weapon. Okay, I'm taking that home
after we're done with this guy. We're going to die, dude. Wait, wait, I'm trying
to think of an opening quip. Oh, okay, how about knock knock? [thudding] If this telethon doesn't raise
$50,000 in the next hour, I'm gonna launch Captain Man
and Danger Force right through the roof
of the Man's Nest and down the side
of Mount Swellview. Oh, you're about
to turn into a bad guy. Ah, a surprise villain.
Classic. I don't know, guys, getting launched sounds
kind of fun. No one's launching me. [grunting] Hey. Are you going to donate
more money this year, or am I gonna have to launch
them up a mountain? Ah, I see, evil chairs, classic. It's your choice Swellview. See ya
after this commercial break. Ah, I see. Now we're going
to cut to commercial. Classic. [music playing, cheering] [cheering] What the hawk is going on
in here? It's the Villies.
It's our version of the Supies. Tonight the bad guys win. And now, it's time to honor
someone who has made us the best villains we can be. I'm speaking, of course
of Captain Man. [cheering, applauding] Captain Man's excellence
inspires us all to be better villains,
and even worse people. [laughing] And because of that,
tonight we award him this lifetime achievement
Villie. [cheering, applauding] Obviously, Captain Man isn't
here to accept the award, so I am going to accept it
on his behalf. But I [unintelligible] myself
for being so fabulous. I'd like to not thank
Vice Mayor Williams. I'm here! I'm here!
Hello, I'm here! It's mine so gimme. Captain Man.
[applauding] [applauding] I was not expecting this.
Uh, [chuckles] You know, if I'm being honest,
I came here tonight to hand out dirt naps
to prove I was good enough to get a Supie but,
and now that I got a trophy, I might let some of you live.
[chuckles] First I want to thank
Grace Kirkendall from Toledo, Ohio.
Uh, don't you kill me now. [grunting] Guys, I found
some more grass outside. Hey.
[chuckles] Whoa, whoa, I thought we were-
Would you find me? Guys, remember we- we matched? Guys? Blonde guy. This day is the worst. Hey, yo, excuse me. This is from the gentleman
at the end of the bar. Ooh. Toddler? Well, well, well, Captain Man. What are you doing here? I, uh... been
a little bored lately. Fight the same heroes
over and over again. Right. - So my younger brother...
- The Newborn? Yeah. He talked me into making
a profile on this app called Rumbler. I did the same thing.
That's why I'm here. Same. I don't know. It's not for me. Thank you. I mean Rumbler set me up tonight with this hero named
Kicky McGee. And he didn't look anything
like his picture. Yes. Who does that? - I like to meet my villains
- I like to meet my heroes [both]
the old fashion way. [groaning] What a fight.
That was amazing. - Congrats.
- Toddler? Hey, easy, Junior.
I'm off the clock. Ah. Well... I guess
I should get going anyways. [grunting] Yeah, I gotta swing
by Swellview Airport and not sky jack a cargo plane
full of blankies. Sure would be a shame
if someone tried to stop me. Well... see ya around. Thanks for the drink, Todd. Toddler. That's right, Pascal. I've been trying to teach you
people manners for years, but none of you listened. So now I'm going
to make you behave. Not anymore, pal. Yeah, you're going to jail. And can I just say,
good plan, dude. - Thanks.
- Respect. Now let's take this guy down-
[grunting] Oh. [grunting, ripping] [screaming] Come on.
You want a piece of Wallaby? No. Mr. Wallaby is jacked. Right?
I know what this means. Laser party! [kids cheering] [groaning] [cheering] [cheering] Nice job, Kid Danger. You too, Cap. I just wanted
a nice little ending to it. Sure did. Just like the ending
of Battle Pigs. Oh, uh... he hasn't seen
that movie yet, so, uh, no spoilers. Then let's make a deal. What kind of deal? If I knock out both
these Ballerinos by myself... [chuckles] yeah, then you have
to teach me how to fly the Man Copter. Kid, you... Okay, sure. Tell you what,
I'm going to sit over here. You fight these guys
by yourself. - I will.
- Good luck. No, I don't need luck.
You know why? [grunting] [clanking] Wow, kid, way to block that
with your head. Okay, Ballerinos... let's dance. [grunting] [grunting] [grunting] [grunting] Ah, dang it. I told Schwoz
to pack crunchy peanut butter. [thudding] You watching this?
[thudding] Yeah. Hey, Ballerinos,
try using this. Hey, no, no, no, why would you- Bravissimo. Oh. Oh.
Yeah, I'm up in space. Oh, wow.
I am having a good time. Stop it. You will stop playing that game
this instant. Oh, uh, right, right. Sorry. You haven't even had
the courtesy to ask me why I've trapped you
in this transparent box. Uh, well,
I would ask if I cared. All right, I'll tell you. You see,
exactly 11 minutes from now, this aircraft will fly
directly over the Swellview Dam. Hey, watch your language. I was using the word "dam"
to indicate a concrete wall that retards the flow of water. Oh, dam. Yes. Now, do you see
that glowing orb next to you? Oh, here we go. Yeah. Do you see my glowing orb? Oh, right, orb. That is a plasmatonic
boom sphere. Great. Now, if you'll direct
your attention to the screen... [grunting] [groaning] [music playing] <i> ♪ Hey, y'all, listen up ♪</i> <i> ♪ You're stuck in this place
While Kid Danger raps ♪</i> <i> ♪ And catch a [unintelligible]♪</i> <i> ♪ Yeah, pump, pump
Pumping up the bass ♪</i> <i> ♪ When we turn ya loose
Here's the plan ♪</i> <i> ♪ Whack yourself in the head
With a frying pan ♪</i> <i> ♪ F-F-Frying pan
Yeah ♪</i> <i> ♪ You better listen
To what I'm saying ♪</i> <i> ♪ And respect my rhymes ♪</i> <i> ♪ Whack yourself in the head
95 times ♪</i> - Okay, I'll untie them.
- I'll get the frying pans. [grunting] I wonder if it worked. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it all depends on
whether or not the music- [banging] [banging] - See, that's nice.
- It really is. [banging] You know, at some point we're going to have
to wipe their brains so they have no memory
of Charlotte. Yeah, then we should
probably take 'em to jail. Yeah. [banging] You want to do that now, or? Yeah, I think we should let them
do this for a little while. Yeah. Hi. Welcome to this house.
Won't you come in? Yeah. Okay. So, how much for the purse? Oh, well, that's- Ha! Now you don't have it. - Dude.
- Captain Man. Ah, no way.
Captain Man lives here? No, he does not. Whatever, man.
I guess I'm busted. Yeah, which means
you get your purse back, and Captain Man doesn't have
to stay here anymore. Hey, now, wait, wait,
wait a minute. We can't be sure
he's the real criminal. I am.
It was all me, man. Can I see that for a second? Come with me. Now, I want you to hold on
to that purse and don't escape, because if you escape,
I might not be able to find you again
and take you to jail. No one's gonna be watching you. You're going to leave him
out there with the purse? Look, I realize it may seem
like this case is solved, but just to be safe... maybe I should stay here
for another month or two. I've got Mr. Krampus here.
He needs to be checked in. Ah, yes, Mr. Krampus.
How could I forget? Chug Energy Drinks,
tried to terminate your brother, Santa Claus,
nearly ruined Christmas. Welcome. I'm going
to need your credit card. I am deeply sorry
about that Christmas incident. I was in a bad place
at the time, but things are much better now. Oh, things certainly are
much better now. Especially since
you have a black card with no spending limit. I hereby swear vengeance
on Captain Man. Yeah? Then come inside
and let's dance. I'll be back when you don't have
Danger Force there to protect you. Pfft. I can handle
my own bidness. I'll get you when you least
expect it, when you're asleep, or in the shower, or when you fall asleep
in the shower. Oh, man. How good does it feel
to fall asleep in the shower? Vengeance will be mine. That kid's all right. He just swore vengeance on you. [chuckles]
Add him to the list. Am I right?
