2020 DnD | Late Night Tumblr Posts

shall I compare thee to a summers day cuz thou hast no class the worst part about parallel parking is the witnesses you know there's no witnesses if you're bad enough at parallel parking if you catch my drift Oh Inc we saying it from my jaws L please fire me a lady came in screaming and ranting how he wrote an obscene insult on her sandwich turns out she ordered a BLT with cheese and we wrote BLT plus CH on it it took me and the manager 15 minutes just to calm her down enough to even listen to us yeah sounds like she was a real BLT with Cheers using that my favorite thing about Fran writers as they see unfulfilled potential and decide ok guess I'll do it myself case in point must you people siphon away every little pleasure I have left in France they say MDR instead of lol and that roughly translates to death by laughter so basically instead of laughing really loudly like we do the French laughed so hard that they died French slang is freaking metal ah by those moments when straight people assume you're one of them and you feel like a gays secret agent let's be an Amish buy spy it's ace case secret agent man how do you politely tell someone you want to hit them with a brick one which is to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in building walls repeatedly that was the most beautiful thing I've ever read what I'm saying is is that bisexuals pansexuals and asexuals should all join together so we could be in the fictitious trifecta enough people will say that we're not real and we'll all converge together in a massive fierce mass only spoke enough in myth don't come near us you two will cease to exist so what you're saying is the queer Triforce can include a romantics now it has become the Triforce of fabulousness pucky are you okay mentally physically monetarily no yet I thrive anyways I am just angry you sound like my polish friend milk a name people condiments over there milk is not a condiment oh and what do you put on your milk burger then guys I tell you this but holy [ __ ] that's a real thing what the [ __ ] is that Oh Pookie you have made cursed commentary for so long that now it has become reality see my next million-dollar idea reluctant exercise videos with people who aren't perky just5more I know I kind of want to die right now - lets just power through it okay New York pose it's gonna act like a bastard until your hamstrings release I'm not gonna lie stretch it a little deeper it's okay - yo [ __ ] at this point I won't tell anyone um yes yes give me I have done it I have 3d printed out candy X he used me it has begun soon we'll be able to illegally download food our [ __ ] one of you actually just becomes the next Willy Wonka with the [ __ ] weird shapes and everything somebody make everlasting gobstoppers right now like how they're shaped in the movie do it go down please please I need money to eat all right how we concept a fairy tale where the wicked step parent who is of course also some sort of warlock transforms the princess into a swan as one does kind of in the rules but rather than running off to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic the princess decides to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose so I see being transformed into a swan the most vicious creature in the lake allowed her to access her inner diva in a way that was completely foreign to her as a sweet your child and from that day forward everyone in a three country radius was [ __ ] terrified of anything with wings it is a lovely day in the palace and you are horrible Swan thirteen and sixteen year olds nowadays don't have a gray point they'll say something like racial issues prevail because the heads of the capitalist system are benefited by it and then three seconds later tweet something like Bob the Builder owns my Ubu is : three without batting an eye this is the true Jersey experience once in my sixth hour we were talking about 911 and I announced very loudly more people died in Hurricane Maria than a 911 but nobody really cares because you can't use hurricanes to justify imperialism and then not even five seconds later I said he held my beets the world's in good hands I think in my opinion all right so we've talked about it before Cobie is for accuracy and precision and heat is for power and distance so now we must complete the trait system I give you twenty twenty DND Kobe dexterity yeet strength Constitution T intelligence yellow wisdom and wig charisma today I learned a lightning strike can strip the bark off a tree completely when the lightning hits it super heats the water under the bark creating nearly instantaneous steam pressure which blows all the bark off yo that's reasoning out dead I can't believe God circumcised the street I can't believe you made me read that with my own two eyes what do you mean this is a cake for somebody's 50th birthday Oh Oh their five never mind actually it's for someone's eight hundred and fiftieth birthday actually it's lighting in spider-man's 50th wedding anniversary um actually it's lighting and Spidey's eight hundred and fiftieth wedding anniversary thank you yeah we vibin today how much walking does you have to do to get them tree trunk faz oh joy is daily stroll of walking under enemies skulls and raves prepare for steppin so here's a story a couple years ago one night I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere tripped and fell over breaking the glass table with his face totally ruin the mood now I didn't know Joseph that well don't even remember where he was from but let's say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye making him completely blind in that eye he was walking around with one of them cotton pads on his eye for a couple months then suddenly he disappeared along with my girlfriend apparently they bonded during the time after his injuries and eloped together leaving me behind without as much as a note I tried to track him down but I never could in conclusion they had been for cotton-eye Joe I'd have been married a long time ago where did you come from where did you go where did you come from cotton-eye Joe how dare you make me read that with my own two

Channel: undefined

Views: 217,246

Rating: 4.9691191 out of 5

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, comedy, reading, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, editing, not for kids

Id: zkg9W68Qv8Q

Length: 7min 40sec (460 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 09 2020