In the wee hours of the night, when I've had too much caffeine I usually find myself doing those lame personality quizzes That people do on facebook, I'm sure you've done a few yourself What element are you? What classic horror villain are you? What was your profession in your past life? That sort of thing You can usually tell what it's going to give you just by what answers you select But, whatever, it's a way to pass the time Tonight is like most nights It's late, I'm bored and I'm surfing the web The combination of some excessive amounts of Dr. Pepper and a few bowls of some decent weed means that I'm not going to bed anytime soon But, I'm probably not going to get anything done either I guess I could clean my apartment, but it's not like i have anyone to impress I've been single for seven months now and I don't have any roommates and I don't entertain much I moved out here from my hometown Dayton, Ohio, to try and pursue school But, after two semesters, I heartily lost interest and dropped out That, was nine months ago I tried to keep my relationship going with Sarah after I stopped going to school But, I suppose she wants a man with more ambition I suppose they all do My job as a delivery driver pays just enough money to satisfy rent and utilities And maybe a little bit left over for a few comforts But not much else And definitely not any amount that would add up to anything meaningful in a savings account My coworkers are ok But, I kind of keep my distance They are all mostly younger and are only interested in getting drunk every weekend And I've never been much of a drinker I guess you could call me a shut in I could lay down on the couch and watch a movie but I lost my DVD remote and I would have to actually get up and push the buttons on the player Besides, I've watched everything I own at least a dozen times anyway I have cable TV It came with the bundle But there's never anything on and I can't stand commercials Internet prevails Facebook is proving to be pretty boring as always It's the time of night where everyone else has gone to sleep and my newsfeed isn't showing me anything new I scroll down for five minutes, refresh the page and start back where I was five minutes ago Maybe I can find something on Youtube that I haven't seen yet Not likely I refresh the page again I see a quiz my friend has done What type of warrior are you? Is the title of the quiz My friend is apparently a Viking I click on the quiz and answer the questions and discover that I am a pirate, hooray, I could not have gone living without that precious information I scroll through some other quizzes, hoping to waste more time before I eventually pass out I click on one entitled, "what decade of music are you?" But, I get a popup instead "Can you fool the all knowing Ronwee? Play twenty questions now!" Is the text that appears in the new window Usually, I don't click on random popups but this looks innocent enough I'm pretty tech savvy anyways Benefits of being anti-social And my computer is pretty well protected I'm also very bored So, I figure, what the hay, sure, I'll play I click the yes button on the window "Ronwee knows what you are thinking, Ronwee knows all is it night time where you are?" What? This is not a typical question in the game twenty questions I thought the object of the game was to guess a word I was thinking of For being all knowing, this "Ronwee" sure doesn't know how to play the game properly Whatever, I'll go along with it, it is night time where I am, I click "yes" "I knew it! Ronwee is all seeing! Are you alone?" Like I would be doing this if I had any compony. I click "yes" "Of course you are! Ronwee knows everything! Are you wearing a gray shirt?" I'm a little high, so I don't even remember what colour my shirt is I look down, and sure enough, I'm wearing a gray t-shirt That's a little uncanny I click "yes" "Ronwee can see that. Ronwee can see all. Are your eyes brown?" Another lucky guess I suppose brown is the most common colour of eyes I click "yes" "Nothing is secret to Ronwee! Ronwee sees everything! Is your name Stephen?" I'm jolted awake How the hell does this game know my name? That, is very unsettling Unsettling, unless this game is accessing my facebook information I am logged onto this quiz app through facebook after all That must be it, ha, very clever Ronwee I click "yes" "Ronwee knows you as Ronwee knows all. Is your dog's name Lola?" Did I ever post that? I don't think I have that in my profile information I must have listed her as my pet But, I really don't remember doing that I click "yes" "Ronwee is ever knowing and ever seeing. Is Lola at your mothers house?" Okay. There is no way I ever posted that on my profile When I moved out here to go to school, I couldn't find an affordable place that allowed pets So I had to leave Lola back home with my mum But how could this game know that? I know that I never put that in my information I'm high but not that high Hesitantly, I click "yes" "Of course she is, Ronwee always knows. Is your living room lamp off?" Ha! Swing and a miss Ronwee, a swing and a miss! I turn around with an intense feeling of relief as I look at my living room lamp which is clearly on Laughing, I click "no" "You cannot lie to Ronwee. Ronwee sees" As soon as I read those words, the lightbulb in my living room lamp burns out, I seize up with dread What the hell is going on? "Are you out of light bulbs?" I pause and think for a minute No, I am not out of lightbulbs I have a pack of light bulbs in my kitchen draw I click "no" with a smirk on my face "Ronwee knows all. I would check again." I'm about to prove you wrong on this one Ronwee I leap out of my chair and rush to my kitchen and find the draw where I keep the light bulbs I rip the draw open and see the familiar cardboard box I take the box out and see I have one light bulb left I remove the lightbulb from the box "Shows how much you know! What the hell do you call this?" I yell at the computer I triumphantly thrust the light bulb into the air But as I do so It falls from my hand and shatters on the ground with a pop I cannot belive it I stare blankly at the shattered remains of the light bulb before deciding I've had enough I rush over to my computer and click on the X of Ronwee's window But nothing happens I click on the X repeatedly but to no avail "Do you want to stop playing?" "Hell yes I wanna to stop playing this creepy ass game" I shout my answer as I click "yes" "We can't stop playing now! We have to finish!" I'll be damned if that happens I open the task manager with the intent of closing the process But it doesn't even show up I stare blankly at the screen before Ronwee's next question appears "Did Sarah leave you because you're a broke and worthless loser?" "What the hell? No!" I screamed at my computer as I fervently mashed the mouse button and click "no" in Ronwee's window "You cannot lie! Ronwee knows all! Ronwee sees all! Are you angry?" Angry is an understatement, I'm absolutely livid I click "yes" eager to get this over with I don't know what the hell is going on but if Ronwee wants to ask his twenty questions to humiliate and infuriate me, then lets have them "Ronwee senses your anger, Ronwee sees into your soul. Is your phone ringing?" "No my phone is not ringing!" I shout as I click "no" But as soon as I do, my phone starts to ring My heart sinks I feel nauseated as the sense of dread sweeps over me I know I shouldn't answer the phone Some instinctive part of me begs me to not answer the phone But I only want to get this over with I looked at Ronwee's window to see if he'll contradict me, but No text appears The phone continues to ring Hesitantly, I pick it up and answer "Hello?" I nervously ask into the receiver No answer Only Heavy breathing "Hello?!" I shout, but the breathing continues It sounds feral Like a wild animal that is anticipating a meal that is long overdue New words appear in Ronwee's window "Can you hear me?" I instantly hang up the phone I stand, staring at my computer screen for what feels like an eternity until I finally regain my senses This has gone on long enough I'm shutting this down I click on my start menu and click "shut down" But, it has no effect Fine, I'll shut it down manually I hold the power button in for a full twenty seconds But nothing happens "Are you trying to shut me down?" I click "yes" hoping that it might have some effect "Are you succeeding?" I click "yes" then I yank the power cord out of the wall But my computer remains on "You cannot shut Ronwee down! Ronwee has unfinished business with you" I stand there, staring at the screen awaiting the next question Dreading it Yet wanting to end this His next question appears "Is someone at your door?" I listen intently for a few fearful seconds But I do not hear anything I click "no" And as soon as I do A slow and loud knock is sounding from my front door I cry out, now gripped by pure terror Ronwee asks yet another question "Are you going to answer that?" I start to sob uncontrollably as I click "no" I begged the computer to stop tormenting me To please leave me alone But yet, another message appears in Ronwee's window "I thought not! You are a coward! You are a worthless waste of life! And that's why you're alone! You have squandered your existence and you are not worthy of the air you breathe our business is almost concluded, I have but one, final question for you" I am hysterical, I want this to end, I want whatever is knocking on my door to just go away I am pleading with Ronwee to just ask his last question and be done with me Ronwee torments me with an unbearable wait before his final question appears on the screen "Are you going to die tonight?" I read this question over many times I managed to stop crying The knocking on my door has stopped I gather what little resolve I have left and pray that my answer will be proven true I grab the mouse and click "no" For a moment, nothing happens Then a message appears on the screen "Ronwee knows all. And Ronwee sees that you are wrong yet again." My front door crashes open I turn to see the last thing I will ever see in my life My final moments are spent holding the awful face of death as its jaws open wide to devour me
