2 Samuel 13 - Domestic violence and God's love

and if you have a Bible ticket turn to second Samuel 13 second Samuel 30 if you don't have a Bible you can you can read along as I or you can listen as I'm reading it I wanted to make one more kind of quick little commercial and that is I really felt at home today now you guys have done a great job making us feel at home this month but then for me having one of my closest friends here mark Simon he's been one of our he's been an elder one of the leaders in our church in Budapest for the last fourteen years so I've had the privilege to serve with him a long time I remember the first time I heard him play I was at Calvary Costa Mesa and I didn't know who he was and Pastor Chuck Smith said you know anybody can learn the piano but only a few people can play it like Mark Zeeman can and then we heard him play and I had to agree that that's a that's a true statement mark has some CDs he's not in here so I'm allowed to say this he'd be mad at me but he has some CDs that are for sale in the foyer if you're interested you can support what he's doing and hungry by buying those CDs so that's available to you that was also I gave you an tons of time to turn to 2nd Samuel 13 right you could okay if you weren't with us the last couple weeks I'm gonna give a recap but I would even encourage you to go onto your app and download the messages just so you can really feel caught up we've talked about a couple really important subjects on the issue of forgiveness and grace what does it look like when we when we fall into pretty terrible sin and we're looking at this from the life of King David so here's my quick recap David is king he should have been at war but instead of going to battle he stayed home while he was there he met up with a woman named Bathsheba I don't want that's not the right way to say it he saw her and he took her to his own bed he slept with Bathsheba got her pregnant she really did have much choice in this he's the king it's hard to say no to a king she comes to him and says I'm pregnant and for David this is worst case scenario because Bathsheba's husband Uriah is a close friend Uriah is one of a very small group of soldiers known as two mighty men of David the mighty minute a you're talking like a an elite group of commanders that served fiercely loyal to David David sleeps with one of his commanders wife and gets her pregnant so David just you know he kind of concocts a plan to resolve his little problem rather than humble himself and admit what he's done he tries to get Uriah to come home to go sleep with his wife and then nobody would think that it's David's kid the problem that David had was that Uriah is a really good soldier he's a loyal honorable soldier because of that he says listen David I'm not gonna go to my wife until the rest of my soldiers can go to their wives and until that happens I'm not I'm not gonna go home David feels he has no other option than to have Uriah killed which is what he does so he goes from adultery to the cover-up through murder for almost a year David deals with this in his own heart nobody knows what's going on David looks great he looks like a nice guy he even looks magnanimous he brings Bathsheba into his home caring for the poor Widow but God and David knew that David is full of so much darkness there's so much that he's holding on to and it's killing him inside and we spoke about that last week after almost a year the prophet Nathan comes to David with a story that God gave to Nathan to give to David and the story was really simple it was a story of a rich man who had everything in the poor man who had one lamb and whom he loved and the rich man comes and takes the lamb this poor man's lamb and kills the lamb for his own party and the whole point of the story was to show David who he was and David got it real quick David gets unbelievably angry about the whole thing I mean he gets so angry he says that guy needs to be killed which is insane you don't kill a guy just because he killed he took a lamb David sense of justice is just over and goes into overload which as I remind you last week we might not be doing okay with the Lord but we'll still hold onto our sense of justice I want to be forgiven but I want others to experience justice and where we want we long for we crave for a world that is filled with fairness but the world is not fair and into that comes a God who was given something that was not fair Jesus received what we should have received you know we say that the world is not fair you're right and neither is Grace and neither is mercy and neither is forgiveness we don't deserve it God gives it freely so David is outraged with justice and Nathan says you're that guy David repents and God said your sin is going to hurt your life one of the causes one of the consequences of your sin will be that your child is going to die and another one of those consequences is that there's going to be a sword in your family your family is going to get eaten up please let me explain this is not God's punishment - David do you understand from the beginning of time until now about always planned on sending his son Jesus to die for the sins of the world God doesn't punish God uses what happens in our lives to correct punishment happened to Jesus on the cross what you get and what I get isn't punishment it might be the correction of a loving God David's child died not because God was punishing David it was a consequence bad things happen because we live in a world that's filled with sin whether we like that or not it doesn't change the fact I don't care if you're Christian Buddhist atheist or agnostic it doesn't matter we live in a world that has fallen all of us will experience bad things and sometimes those bad things come to us because of our own sin sometimes they come to us because of other people's sins sometimes it has nothing to do with sin just the fact that we live in a world that's fallen David's family was going to be torn apart that was the word from the Prophet and so the story that we're going to read today is a I don't want to say a fulfillment but certainly a part of that consequence this is a terrible chapter in the Bible and I'm so glad that I got to teach you know not I'm not glad about that I got so many good chapters and you're you're bound to get one of these so I wish I wasn't talking about it however I'm glad the Bible does this is a chapter that deals with the issue of domestic violence and rape this is a very very heavy chapter and it's on one hand I want to say this I applaud the Lord for not hiding these things God doesn't just give us a Instagram version of the people's lives we get the good the bad and the ugly we get it all it would have been so easy for the Lord to not have this story put in the Bible if you were telling your story I guarantee you would not include this story now please don't misunderstand this I don't believe that we need to retell and rehash every terrible thing that we've done or that's been done to us over and over and over especially on the subject of domestic violence and rape that victimizes someone over and over and over when the Bible tells this story it does so years after Tamar the woman who will be victimized years after her life she is not alive she is not being victimized by the retelling of this story so I'm not suggesting we need to be the kind of people that retell our stories to everybody who who crosses our paths what I am saying is this I know if it were up to me I would hide this stuff but God doesn't and I truly I applaud him for having the courage to remind us of the reality of the world that we live in and we are going to talk about hope but that doesn't come till the end and the reality of this is that we're looking at a story that is so sordid it's so it's so gross and we're not going to hide from that because God doesn't hide from that because this is a reality of a world we live in you know what I mean I thought what is that what are the numbers on domestic violence one in three women experienced domestic violence we're told today every 56 minutes someone is forcibly raped in the United States and if you're like me right now when I said that to you it makes you ticked off we're at church so maybe you didn't feel that but you would normally you would be so mad it's frustrating it's infuriating to think that right now in the world we live in in a world that everybody's telling us is more civilized that's ridiculous civilized society wouldn't rape someone every hour we live in a fallen world and I'd love to blame the world but the problem is is terrible is in my heart as much as it is in your hearts and God isn't afraid to expose but terrible but it's not enough to simply expose an open wound there needs to be healing and we're gonna look at this and we're gonna see where can our healing come from in the process of exposing some of the ugliness that exists in the world today this is a story about a half-brother and half-sister it just got even more gross and so we're gonna read we're gonna you know we're gonna read quite a bit about or quite a bit actually we gonna read the whole chapter so bear with me we're gonna begin in verse 1 and we'll read all the way through verse 19 it keeps the context verse 1 now Absalom David's son and a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar and after a time Amnon David's son loved her Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar for she was a virgin and it seemed impossible to m nan to do anything to her but Amnon had a friend whose name was John a DAB the son of Shania David's brother and jonadab was a very crafty man and he said to him o son of the king why are you so Haggard morning after morning will you not tell me I'm done said to him I love Tamar my brother Absalom sister jonadab said to him lie down on your bed pretend to be ill and when your father comes say to him let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat and prepare the food in my sight that I might see it and eat from her hand so I'm done laid down and pretended be ill and when the king came to see him emmalin said to the king please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight that I may eat from her hand David sent home to Tamar saying go to your brother M nuns house and prepare food for him so Tamar went to her brother M nuns house where he was lying down and she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes she took the pan and heated out before him but he refused to eat and Amnon said send everyone out from me so everyone went out and Amnon said to Tamar bring the food into the chamber that I may eat from your hand Tamar took the cakes she had made brought them into the chamber to end on her brother but when she brought them near to him to eat he took hold of her and he said to her come lie with me my sister she answered him no my brother do not violate me for such a thing is not done in Israel do not do this outrageous thing as for me where could I carry my shame as for you you will become one of the outrageous fools in Israel therefore please speak to the king he will not withhold of me from you but he would not listen to her and being stronger he violated her and laid with her Amnon hated her with very great hatred so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her Amnon said to her get up go but she said to him no my brother this is wrong and sending me away it's greater than that thing you did to me but he would not listen to her he called the young man who served and said put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door behind her she was wearing a long robe with sleeves for thus were the virgin daughters of the King dressed his servant put her out and bolted the door after her Tamar put ashes on her head tore the long robe that she wore and she laid her head on her hand on her head and she went away crying aloud as she went it's a terrible terrible story amnon and Tamar are half-brother half-sister they shared David in common King David Amnon is the oldest son of David which would have meant at least for the cultures you know the countries surrounding Israel that would have meant that he is the heir apparent which it seems everybody believed including Amnon that he is the heir apparent as I said to you earlier the story so vivid so clear was written much later beyond their lifetimes and so we're we're left with this kind of sick feeling inside of us why are we told this story one of the obvious reasons is because it still happens today whether it's a domestic violence part or the rape part or the fact that people today are carrying so much shame so much hurt so much pain either because they caused it or because it's been caused to them we live in a world where everybody's carrying a lot of baggage and so the story though hard to listen to bares resonance in so many people's hearts in our ministry and hungry inner city we deal with and have the privilege of ministering to girls coming out of this lifestyle pretty regularly we have a ministry reaching out to prostitutes as well as girls that have been trafficked and one of the most common issues that we deal with and it's in fact us it's just a straight across the board globally when asked by asked to most people the average person why do you think a woman chooses prostitution the number one reason that people give is because they want to in order to make money to make a better life for themselves but do you want to know what the reality is eighty-five percent of the girls who are in prostitution today this is a global statistic supported by the United Nations are there against their will it's not something that is happening to make yourself you know that the pretty woman mentality it's not the real story the reality is and this is another sad reality is that more than fifty percent of girls that are being trafficked today are under age of 18 we live in a very sick world but it would be easy to go oh man that world is so gross and you know the King David justice we need justice in the world the reality is is that all of us have there's evil in us there's terrible in US and there's hurt in us Tamar is the victim obviously in our story and you might not resonate with her direct you know her story directly my guess is as this goes out online and even with this many people in the room my guess is that it will resonate with some of you but the idea of shame the idea of hurt confusion hurt in a place where you felt you should be safe it's a reality that so many people are living with today and I thank God if the Bible doesn't hide this I'd rather not be the one having to teach it I'll be honest but I'm glad the Bible doesn't hide it because the world needs Jesus and we're not gonna get Jesus if we're gonna hide things we're not gonna get the depth of grace if we're gonna hide in the shallow of what's really going on we got to be willing to go deep if we want God to go deep it's too easy to hide amnon and Tamar our half-brother and half-sister I don't know if you noticed how many times in our story she said my brother my brother my brother why do you think she said that she's trying to get this fool to open his eyes and realize what he's doing she even said that to him if you do this you will become one with the outrageous I love that word used here you would become with the outrageous fools in Israel but what I want what I want you to see first is I want you to see what he said to her What did he say to Tamar he said lie with me what did he say my sister can I just say you this guy is disgusting what in the world goes through this guy's mind well I'll tell you what's going through his mind I am the son of the king nobody will challenge me he might have even had this thought my dad gets away with whatever he wants to and I'm the next king I don't know what was going through his head but I know one thing is for certain he cared nothing for his sister or for the word of God we do see in the Old Testament in the book of Genesis we see Abram and Sarah they married and they were they were told they were half siblings but after the law of Moses was given God was very clear on the subject there was to be no marriage between family members and it's even I mean you know if you read you read through the Old Testament you go gosh it's really specific and really detailed down to which cousin you think let's just avoid anything with the word cousin in it but God was very clear and very specific to them this was was outlawed this was banned and Amnon does not care very simply because he believes he is above it all he can do whatever he wants and that's why Tamar in the in her desperation to stop him from doing what he was going to do she's she's she's using Scripture and what I mean by that is she's saying you're my brother don't do that you're my brother don't do this in fact she even makes and it's one of the saddest things that she says in this whole there's worse but this is one of them you know what she does she says ask our Father and he'll give you whatever you you want to make you want me to be yours ask our dad and I'm sure he'll give me to you now she she knew she knew that it was against the Word of God she knew that so why does she say and I read commentator and scholar and commentator and I thought none of these people put themselves in her shoes well it was not right what she said baloney it wasn't right it was the big was the best thing she could have said why she's desperate to get out of him raping her she's like maybe if you ask if we can be married it'll be okay it'll be okay does she know it's wrong yeah but who cares she just would do anything to get out of it that's how sad this story is and I'm nan does not care Amnon cares about Amnon he doesn't care about Tamar in fact let me let me reiterate what or reiterate that's not the right word let me rephrase when he says when the Bible says that he loved Tamar it's not it doesn't mean what you and I think it means today we have a better way of saying it we would say this is a stalker this is the guy who if he could have printed pictures he would had pictures all over his room he's obsessed he's sick something's wrong with em none but if you and I were to sit down with Amnon before he raped his sister and say dude what do you feel towards Tamar he would his oh I love tomorrow I love her so much sick for her it that it wasn't love sick it was obsession sick and there's there's a lesson in here and it's it's a hard one so really this is a day filled with hard lessons sorry this is a hard one you and I could not argue against Amon's love for his sister you're not gonna convince him that he doesn't love her even though 100 percent he's wrong in every way possible he's wrong and and the reason I'm telling you this is there's a whole world that doesn't care about the right and wrong of the Bible but you do if you're a Christian you do care about the right and wrong of the Bible so let me say this to you then if you're a Christian you've put your faith in Jesus and you believe in the Bible and you want to dictate your life based on the Word of God then let me say this love is not enough if it's not right love is not enough oh but I love him oh I love her it doesn't matter unless it's true love is not enough today the world is driven by the guiding principle if you love that'll be enough and it's wrong and I can't change this I'm not going to change the way the world thinks about that the world's gonna think what the world wants to think that's okay and I'm gonna respect their willingness to think the way they want to but we are not of the world if you believe the Bible if you do if you say you're a Christian then please understand and I've spent way too much time counseling I've talked to too many ladies who have told me I'm gonna marry the guy I know he's not a Christian I know he doesn't he's not a good guy but he loves me and I love him and I've tried to tell them it's not a good idea but love you know but I love but I love but who can love is not enough if it's not based on truth and I'm not talking just a relationship or what not you you apply it however you want but am nons love for Tamar was wrong I don't care what he really felt in fact do you see how it was not love the minute that he raped her the minute that he's done the minute he got what he wanted he hated her how is that possible because he didn't love Tamar he loved Amnon and he wanted Tamar and once you get what you want you move on and so love as a guiding principle is not enough it must be based on truth just ask the Lord truth brings freedom not love God doesn't just love you and just have a feeling well I love you no matter what no he came and died to forgive your sins so that he could have a relationship with you he doesn't just love you and not care about whatever happens he cares deeply cares so much he gave his own life love must be grounded on truth and so there's there's my bandwagon for today let's keep going he had a terrible friend and his name was John a dub jonadab was a loser as well as Amnon jonadab in any court today would be considered an accessory to a crime he pushed his friend in that direction the guy is totally slimy we're gonna see him in just a few minutes in the next section of Scripture this guy he doesn't care about his friend Amnon he cares about himself so why does he encourage Amnon knowing that it's probably gonna lead to something not so good why because jonadab cares about himself he wants to get a leg up he wants to get a foot in his friend comes to him and says I am in love with my half-sister that is a great opportunity for a real friend to say dude it's wrong you know I told you guys maybe last week or the week before we don't need to be the kind of Christians that go around you know we're not the moral police we're not out there to tell everybody that they're wrong that's not what God's called us to do but we also looked at last week we looked at an incredible example of a man who saw what was wrong Nathan and he gently and with humility came to his friend the King and he said David you're this guy you're wrong so there is a way to do things it is to speak truth in love it can be done and listen it needs to be done this is a if you have friends like jonadab you don't have friends you need to get friends that are not like jonadab when you can speak so blatantly against the things of God and your Christian friend doesn't tell you I think you need to rethink that silence can often make you and me an accessory to something terrible in someone's life jonadab gives terrible advice and it leads to rape and he is unquestionably an accessory to a domestic violence case Amnon tells Tamar what he wants I want to sleep with you and she refuses and so he rapes her Tamar is a victim twice not once but twice she is drawn into his desires and raped and then she is thrown out because he got what he wanted that the terrible part of this chapter or this section right here is that after he rapes her did you hear what she said she said don't throw me out can you omit I want you to understand this the woman's been raped and she begs him to keep her because her shame outside in that culture would be even worse and I've had people say that you know say to us all the time in our ministry reaching out to processes why don't they just leave that guy why don't they because that's the only person that ever told him he loved her it's the only person that's ever cared no parent and a friend nobody and they crave that person's affection and yeah is he prostituting her yep is it wrong of course it's wrong but everybody's craving to have someone love them and they'll stay and do terrible things just for that and someone hears tomorrow Tamara's put in a situation where she's been violated and she's also saying please don't throw me out please don't cast me out of course Amnon does not listen Amnon does not care he hates her we're gonna continue our story beginning in verse 20 she flees or excuse me she's kicked out she leaves she's crying verse 20 her brother Absalom said to her has Amnon your brother been with you and I want to stop for just a quick second here and say this why in the world is Absalom asked that question my guess is because everyone around Amnon thought he's got some bizarre affection for his half-sister there was something Amnon thought nobody knew but Absalom did she comes out Chrissie comes crying how in the world is that your first question unless you had a preconceived idea that this is what's going on she comes out weeping and Absalom says did Amnon hurt you he knew something was going on let's continue he says this hold your peace my sister he is your brother do not take this to heart so Tamar lived a desolate woman in her brother Absalom's house when King David heard all of these things he was very angry but Absalom spoke to em not neither good nor bad for Absalom hated Amnon but he had violated his because he had violated his sister Tamar after two full years Absalom had sheep shearers at bajas or which is near a-frame and Absalom invited all the king's sons and Absalom came to the king and he said Behold your servants your servant has sheep shearers please let the king and his servants go with your servant the king said to Absalom no my son let us not all go lest we be burdensome to you he pressed him but he would not go but gave him his blessing and Absalom said if not please let my brother Amnon go with us and the King said why should he go with you but I'm still impressed him until he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him then Absalom commanded his servants mark when AB naans heart is merry with wine and when I say to you strike Amnon then kill him do not fear have I not commanded you be courageous and valiance so the servants of Absalom did to em Nonna's Absalom and commanded in all the king's sons arose and each mounted his mule and fled while they were on the way news came to David Absalom has struck down all the king's sons and not one of them is left the King arose and torez garments and lay on the earth and all his servants who were standing by tore their garments but jonadab the Bible doesn't say this but I'm gonna say at this slimy guy the son of shamaya David's brother oh he's nephew to the king did you catch that he's nephew to the king jonadab says let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men the king's sons for em not alone is dead for by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister tomorrow now therefore let not my lord the King so take it to heart as to suppose all Kings sons are dead for Amnon alone is dead but Absalom fled and the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked and behold many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain and Jonna dub said to the King behold the king sons have come as your servants said it has come about and as soon as he had finished speaking he saw his sons and he lifted up there and they all lifted up their voice and wept and the King also and his servants wept very bitterly Absalom fled to tomate tal myyy the son of Ami food the king of Zhai sure David mourned his son Absalom fled and went to guesser and was there three years spirit of the King longed to go and see Absalom because he was comforted about Amnon since he was dead a lot of reading there but will just highlight some of the well there's just a few points to kind of highlight here Absalom is the brother of Tamar Tamar comes out he knows something's happened she tells him what happened and he tells her say nothing do nothing he brings her into his home she's gonna live the rest of her life a victim which is what happens Absalom Absalom was a poker player man he showed nothing everybody kind of knew the whispers were out and for two full years Absalom does nothing he waits and he waits any waits why most likely and if Amnon was remotely smart he was on guard he was expecting something to happen and so he protected himself and so maybe Abu Salim didn't see an opportunity two years later his opportunity came and he convinces his father the king like I've got this great thing going and I'm sure it was all true please I want the whole family to come and David's it seems like David's a little bit suspicious why what's the you know and Absalom so convincing so convincing David finally says listen I'm not gonna go but yeah your brothers can all go sounds good and Absalom knew he had his moment and he took it and he said to his men kill him they killed him and you know what happened all the other sons thought that Absalom was gonna kill all of them common practice back in those days among the pagan countries you want to take over the kingdom you have no other siblings nobody else even when David took over the kingdom when God gave him the kingdom so many people around him were telling him kill all of Saul's relatives leave nobody who could claim the throne that was just common practice David didn't do that and it seemed like that's what happened in this story the word got out that Absalom was killing all the heirs Absalom had no intention of doing that at that moment Absalom will have his own issues in a few chapters but at this moment or coming up but at this moment Absalom just wants Amnon dead he kills him and everybody takes off and jonadab how does he know this stuff there's always people like this they just happen to know stuff I don't understand but he just no oh no no no no I haven't your kids are the rest your kids are fine am ninten because of what he did to tomorrow terrible but there's a few other things that are more terrible than and then the story itself one of them is what we read and near the beginning of that section it's when David hears about what happened and it says he was very angry well good for David but he did nothing his daughter has been raped he's the king and he did nothing and I don't know why he did nothing I wish I could tell you I don't know is it because he feels guilty because he's not a very moral man I don't know maybe but who is moral enough to know you you don't exit you don't you don't live according to the Word of God simply because you're perfect nobody is so I don't know what David was thinking I don't know why David did nothing but David did nothing and it was shameful could you I also have the question why didn't Tamar go to her dad why didn't she go to him and I have a guess and I'll tell you what it is because she knew he'd do nothing well I go to him if you know he's not going to do anything why be hurt more when your family when nobody does anything to help you why even do that why subject yourself to that I don't know again I'm making suggestions I don't know whatever it is this is one of those like situations where the family wanted to keep it all under wraps please understand David sat on the throne every single day everybody else looked at David and thought man look at that guy he's amazing he's our King he's godly he loves he's in the temple worshiping he's reading the scriptures to us he's guiding us in ways of righteousness but his house was full of the sword as Nathan prophesied it would happen Absalom got his revenge and Amnon was killed and David David wept for Amnon and that's another sad moment in this chapter because we don't read that he ever wept for Tamar he wept for his who raped his half-sister but we never read that he wept for his daughter again maybe he did maybe he didn't there's a reason God gives the words that he gave in this chapter there's a reason that God spoke it the way that it was spoken and it's for you and I to draw certain conclusions that are not implied they're stated very clearly he wept for his son who raped someone but he never wept for his daughter this is the kind of home that David you know that this family lived in I want to make one thing very clear David is not responsible for what EM nan did to Tamar it would be easy to state it that way like well because because of how David lived Amnon felt he could do whatever he wanted that might have been true but Amnon was an adult he was a man who made his own decisions David was not responsible for what Amnon did he was certainly responsible for how he responded but we all stand before God on our own you can't blame your parents or your friends you're a thinking adult what you and I do is on you and me and nobody else and so I don't blame David at all and sure I can say to you that I think Amnon looked at his dad and said my dad gets away with stuff I'm gonna do what I want but he's still a man of freewill he and he knew what was right and wrong so he can't blame daddy when you're in adults however David's response makes me question where were you why weren't you there why didn't you go to your daughter in comfort why didn't you weep for her why did you weep for the son who was the aggressor but not the victim and I and I have these quote I had these questions for David and it makes me angry if I'm well I am I'm going to be honest it makes me angry it makes me angry to think of how many people in the world hate Christianity hate God because of this stuff right here because they've been victimized they've been abused they've been hurt and they're asking the question not why David but why God why didn't God do something why did God let this happen why didn't God stop this why is God letting this happen and it just goes on and on and on and on and on and these are not bad questions these are the good questions these are the right questions and you know we we we Christians if we're honest there we probably have some of those same questions and maybe even if we're really honest there's a little bit of anger in us at God as well maybe not everybody but my guess is that some of us today if we're honest that is our deal we've been hurts legitimate or not and we're mad at God God could have stopped that from happening God could have let that go the right way we talked about how God knows everything and God is all-powerful and that God loves us and a lot of people in the world hear that and they say then why didn't he do this why didn't he stop this and you know what that logic is sound it's right it's a it's a it's a proper it's a proper logic can God stop evil from happening yes then why doesn't he and I don't know about you but I can speak for myself I'm tired of cliches I'm tired of cliches I'm tired of shallow answers to try to meet deep issues it doesn't work and you and I all we all know this we all know that sometimes in our deepest hurt two lines from a Bible verse doesn't make everything better a magnet refrigerator verse doesn't make everything happy again the reality is is that many people maybe it's you live with a deep hurt inside and a confusion why doesn't God respond and so here's my answer to that question today you ready I don't know and I don't think you can know on this side of heaven you know heaven has two sides there's this that the temporal side and then there's the eternal side and I just there's a lot of questions that do not have answers on this side of heaven and that doesn't mean we should not pursue understanding that doesn't mean that we just say well I can't understand at night and I'm simply saying sometimes an answer alone isn't going to fix the problem if you knew why domestic violence happened would it make it okay having an answer doesn't always fix things and yet we want answers I want to know why this I want to know why this is happening or why this did not happen as if all of a sudden that would make me feel better but it won't it won't make us feel better it might make us feel worse the reality is is that we live in a world that is sick and the reason I can say that is because our hearts are a part of the problem we're a part of the sickness and I can I can I can resonate and I hope you can too that I don't need to tell people who say why did God allow this step I don't need to throw out a quick little answer to try to make it all better it can't be made better that way so then we're left with the real issue is there hope for people who are truly hurting in deep ways why didn't God do anything now when I say that I need to I need to clarify that God did do something he did do something he died on a cross you and I might feel in our lifetimes and if you haven't good for you so far but most likely at some point in your life you will feel like God isn't there and then you'll feel bad for that because you're a Christian because you're supposed to believe that God's always there how could you not believe that God's always there how could you feel this way and then you condemn yourself for how you're feeling but how you feel isn't changing God isn't answering me God isn't fixing this most likely you're gonna come to that place maybe you're there now that feeling that you're forsaken by the Lord and this I can say with so much confidence this is the good news today you've never been forsaken by the Lord how can I say that with such confidence it's easy because Jesus was forsaken for you that's the one part of what Jesus did you will never feel you might understand Jesus's pain with his friends with his family you might understand what it's like to be hurt by people just like Jesus was to be betrayed by people just like Jesus's but the one thing you and I will never understand is what it's like to have to say these words my god why have you forsaken me you'll never be forsaken I'm a terrible crier sorry you might go through so many things but that's the one thing you'll never go through so is your hurt okay not at all it's not okay that what happened or what you've gone through or listened some of you in here you're not the victim you're the problem that's my guess some of you are the problem and you don't know what to do with that either the shame that you feel it's not going to get fixed by a Bible verse it's not going to get fixed by reading your Bible a couple times or going to church a few times it's not going to be fixed by singing a couple worship songs it doesn't work like that do you understand that like if you have a small problem than a small God will do just fine for you but life doesn't deal as small problems it deals as big problems and too many of us have deep problems and we're going to a shallow God but our God is not shallow our God is deep you have to be willing to go deep with the Lord if you want answers or excuse me if you want healing for deep problems and I'm gonna give you an example in the Bible Mary Martha Lazarus I got a couple minutes these people loved Jesus and they knew Jesus they had a great relationship with Jesus and then Lazarus gets sick I think you know the story John chapter 11 Lazarus get sick and Mary Martha and send for Jesus no email back then they send a person to go to Jesus your friend Lazarus is sick please come and Jesus did nothing I know you know what that feels like god I'm crying out to you in silence he does nothing four days later he shows up and Lazarus is dead Martha the real pragmatist of the group she goes out to Jesus and she says and I love look I love Martha let me tell you why I love Martha she had problems earlier on and all that jazz but here here's what I love about Martha she spoke the truth she didn't do one of those dear Lord I know that listening and I know you know no no no no no no Jesus if you would have been here my brother would still be alive and even now I know whatever you ask of God God will give it to you that's a level of faith that I'm not certain I could ever speak with honest and full of faith and then Jesus says to her your brother will rise again whoa and guess what she says oh my gosh she says this I know that he'll rise again in the last days okay some of you are wondering what does that mean okay here's what it means she threw a Bible verse at God it's a great idea she did I mean she moved into cliche mode she started so good lord if you would have been here my brother would still be alive but I know if you ask God will give you anything and Jesus said your brother's gonna live again and she said yeah I know in the last days I know the Bible don't you do that sometimes don't you psych yourself out of your own hurts by throwing a Bible verse at yourself do you understand that God doesn't mind you coming to him angry or frustrated or hurts God is not shocked you don't have to stop being angry and then pray to God God God's a big God he can handle it he knows pain way better than you do he can handle a little frustration so she throws a Bible verse at him she tries to like shallow it down simple it down dumb it down I know in the last days he'll rise again but you know she knew a Bible verse and didn't feel better please don't hear in my Bible study today that you don't need to read the Bible by the way just don't assume that you can make a little cliche out of it it's deeper than that in eternity and what does Jesus say to her I am the resurrection Martha quoting a Bible verse when I'm right here now what happens in that story that I want to draw your attention to is this Martha had a question if you would have been here the question in that is this where were you where were you okay here's the answer Jesus gave nada I'm near Mexico I'm learning how to even know nothing he did not answer her problem but she left full of peace and so I want to ask you this question are you gonna continue to fight for answers to questions that may not have an answer even your own pain may not have an answer your hurt or the fact that of what you've done it may not have an answer you've been trying to justify it well this is y and this is y and this is when this way oh stop it when will you just stop doing that are you willing to accept God's peace over your own need for an answer is there bad in the world yeah is it fair nope well what's the answer I don't there is not an answer right now but there can be healing Martha left healed Martha left with peace what do you want are you willing to go to God with your hurt and let him do healing or do you just need an answer I promise you you won't be happy with the answer but you might be incredibly overwhelmed by God's peace if you come to Jesus Jesus is deeper than you'll ever be His grace is deeper than your hurt if you will let him go there he is deeper the question is will you go to a deep God or will you stay on the surface will you play Church will you play Christian will you do the thing if you do that you can do that but you'll never experience the peace of God if you're willing to go deep God can meet you there and so we're gonna take communion today the elements of communion are up here on the stage I kept I was as I was going over this message I thought man what a bummer you know how do we how do i how do we end this thing there's no better place to end it than at the cross that's where pain needs to be managed that's where hurt needs to be healed it has to happen at the cross this is not the place for answers this is the place for healing I some of your hurt has answers some of it does not I don't know I'm not a psychologist I don't understand it I just know that if you're willing to go to the Lord if you will bring your hurt the process of healing can begin will it end no it's a process of healing let it begin but let it be according to your faith if you're willing to believe God God can move in great ways God can move in great ways but you must have the faith you must put your faith in the Lord so this is your opportunity as we worship the Lord we're gonna close in one final song and in your time but it's just one song so let it be during that song you get up and you come down and you take communion okay and you ask the Lord to meet you where you're at let's pray Jesus I thank you so much for your word and I pray Lord Jesus that you would do a work of healing we thank you for the cross we can't earn something that you've given freely and we're not even meant to just feel bad Lord in this moment I pray that this wouldn't be about just feeling bad feeling bad doesn't fix things it might be the beginning but it's definitely not the end the end of it all is forgiveness and so I pray that as we come and partake of communion that we would do so with the confidence and the joy that you have paid it all and we can bring our hearts to you broken and shattered and you heal I pray Lord that we would do that according to our faith Lord I pray for you to do a great work now we thank you for your body that was broken in your blood that was shed and we remember you now in Jesus name [Music]

Channel: Calvary San Diego

Views: 1,199

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Calvary, Chapel, San Diego, Pastor, Jesus, Lord, Church, faith, Christian, Christianity, Bible, Study of Bible, life of david, phil metzger, 2 samuel 13

Id: tkMi-HB55WQ

Length: 52min 10sec (3130 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 17 2017