- I just can't shower enough. I'm like, (sniffing) like, oh, I just feel like just a stinkier person. (upbeat music) Hey, Health Nuts. Welcome back to my channel. My name is Nikole. If you're new here, I am a
mummy of a now four-month-old while she's growing so
fast, little Miss Sage. And I thought it would be
really fun to just share a video talking about things I kind of wish I knew before having a baby and we're keeping things all positive but there's definitely
things that were surprising to me that I kind of wish I knew. Maybe you already know these things, maybe they are a shocker. We're gonna be talking about all the juicy and nitty gritty things
about having a baby. So before we hop in make
sure you are subscribed click that button down below so you do not miss a video
and let's hop right into it. So originally I was going to do 10 things and then I was like writing a
list and we ended up with 15. So we're gonna, it's gonna
be a little chatty videos, so make sure you have
like a snack and a drink and I'm probably gonna have
to break to feed Miss Sage. But we're gonna get through this and I have some exciting
things I want to talk about just in case you don't know already, I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna be that person like that best friend that
tells you these things that you wish you knew. So the first thing we're keeping
it really light and simple it is talking about baby clothes. Actually, my first two are
baby clothes, clothing related. And the first one is everyone told me, don't buy newborn clothes. They're not gonna fit in
it for more than a week or your baby might just be
too big when your baby's born and you won't even need them. So I honestly thought like I'm just not gonna buy any newborn. I'm just gonna buy zero to three months and that's all I'm gonna need, and then as I was like
nearing my due date with Sage, I realized that I don't
think I'm gonna have a 10-pound baby like I
thought I was going to 'cause big babies like run in my family. I was almost nine pounds. Was I almost nine or 10 pounds? I think I was almost 10 pounds. So we have big babies in the
family and I thought they, like my baby is probably gonna be big, I'm not gonna need small
itty-bitty baby clothes. And because I thought just in case, I wanted to have clothes
that actually fit her when we leave the hospital, I did buy a couple of newborn
things and guess what? She was in those clothes probably
for the first two months. Like she did fit into some of her smaller zero to three clothes, but I did use the newborn clothes and I'm glad I got them because honestly she would have been
swimming in everything. So just maybe grab a couple but I wouldn't just say no
to newborn clothes entirely. My next thing is another
clothing related thing and it is to buy Zippers and Footies. Let's say it again, Zippers and Footies. That's all you need in the newborn stage. Like yes, have some fun, like
two piece sets and stuff, but like for late night changes, even daytime changes and stuff, zippers and onesies that
already have the feet like the footies in them, you don't have to deal with
socks and stuff are ideal. Baby socks fall off, I'm not even kidding you
like every two seconds, like someone actually commented on one of my videos that
Sage didn't socks on and like her feet were gonna freeze, guys, like they fall off all the time. We keep our house really warm, they're disappearing all the time, they get lost in the dryer or in the wash like they get stuck in the belt, like they just disappear. So if you can avoid using
socks when they're really really tiny, just go for the onesies with the footies and get the zippers (baby crying) 'cause some of the snaps
are so hard to deal with. So that is my advice on baby clothing. You drool so much, look who
is getting so big.(laughing) Okay. We're going to
take a little break to feed this little one and
then we'll be right back. So after a little
intermission of feeding Sage she's just going down for a nap right now. So if you hear her fuss in the background it's because our bedroom
is right behind the camera. So my next tip is tracking naps. So this is something I
never really thought of. And I thought, Oh, you don't
need to do it in the beginning. And some babies, don't go
into like a regular routine until they're like six months. With Sage, I honestly
felt like after the first within like the first three to four weeks, we started kind of seeing like some kind of patterns with her. And we started just trying
to track when she goes down for a nap and her wake windows. And I had no idea what awake
window was before we had Sage. We didn't really do a lot
of research with napping. I just thought, Oh that's something for us to deal with later. And like sleep training. I had no idea what any of that is. And we're still not at that point yet. Like she's in a full-blown
sleep regression right now that four month thing
that everyone talks about. Yeah, we're in it. But the whole like wake window
I think is really important. It's just understanding
or just being aware of how long they're awake
for, and then putting them to bed before they get like
that crazy overtired feistiness. It's just what really worked for us. I feel like everyone does
their own thing, but I do feel like from the very beginning,
at least like after that like three or four week
Mark, we started just being more mindful of when
she was going to sleep and how long she was sleeping for. Cause I feel like in the
beginning they just fall asleep on you anywhere everywhere and you don't really
track it, which is fine. Like, I just think that's
like such a special time to be with them. But I did notice that she gets really cranky
when she's over tired. So just being mindful of
like how long she's awake for how long she sleeps for. And that time isn't the
same every single day. But the wake windows are
good to be mindful of. Now, this one is really just related to mamas who are able
to, or are breastfeeding. So it doesn't apply to everyone. However you feed your baby
is amazing and special. And I don't want to take
that away in any form but I just want to say
breast milk is magical. I use it for everything. If she has a little scratch breast milk, baby acne, right now she's dealing with breast milk goopy eye, I breast milk. Like honestly, I'm
ready to take that stuff and do like a breast
milk face mask at night. I'm, I swear. It's like magical, just heals everything. And I just, I feel like it
solves all the problems. So if you are breastfeeding Cassius is coming to say,
hello, try breast milk. Because I swear it just,
it helps in every scenario. Next one is babies cry and nuts Okay. When Sage was first born there was definitely a
lot of crying going on. And I, you know, as a new mom I'm on social media and stuff and I'm seeing all these
other moms that had babies around the same time as me. And I'm like their babies
just look like so peaceful so happy all the time. Like what's wrong with my baby? That's honestly like what I thought. And at the same time, I
was also sharing moments with Sage on social media,
her just happy, not crying. So I'm sure everyone thought
that Sage just doesn't cry. And I just think it's this
really unhealthy thing. I think she's like crying
right now in the background. Perfect timing Sage. I think it's just really
important to understand that babies cry and it
does not always mean like, something is wrong. Sometimes it's just how they communicate. And sometimes they're just crying. Cause maybe because they're
bored, they're talking. I really don't know why
babies cry all the time. But like, as long as you're like, you know go through the list, are they hungry? Is their diaper changed? Are they tired? Sometimes they're just fussy. And with Sage, she has always
been a really alert baby. And she, like, we put her down in one thing she's only
really in there for like in the beginning, she'd be in
there like five, 10 minutes 10 minutes would be long. Trust me, and she'd start crying. And she really just
wants to be held a lot. And you know what, like looking back I'm glad I held her all the time because now she doesn't
just sleep on me anymore. Like, not just like she
will from breastfeeding her but not just like randomly
fall asleep on my chest out of the blue. So I do think it was a really special time with her to enjoy that. But yeah, like if your baby
cries, it's totally normal and I'm trying to show
more of that realness on my channel and on my Instagram,
because I think it's just like this unhealthy thing that us mamas or parents have in our heads
that like babies don't cry. And if your baby's crying,
it means they're a bad parent or that's at least what I
would tell myself in my head like my subconscious mind
would be like, you are failing as a mother, even though
I knew that wasn't true. That's how I felt. And I would constantly be like, Matt, Google why is she crying? Why is she crying? And like, it was the basic stuff. Check if they need anything maybe they have gas, upset stomach. Maybe they're just crying to cry. So don't freak out or feel like you're a bad parent if
your baby cries cause they do. And it's okay. My next point is days for
me have been really short and nights have been long
when we had a good stretch like a month stretch where
Sage was sleeping really really good. And I do feel like I was
in a more normal routine. But when they are not
sleeping throughout the night let me tell you those days go so quick. For me personally, I have felt like the days have been really short and the nights have been
long when Sage is not sleeping throughout the night. I feel like I'm someone
that loves daytime. I'm a morning person. And so a lot of times like I'm waking up in
the morning, still tired. And a lot of times I'll
try to get a morning nap in maybe an afternoon nap. Maybe I don't do all these naps on one day but a lot of times in that
first month I was napping I would say like right after dinner. And then I would like be up
with her for a little bit. And I just felt like my day was so short because I'd be having that
like after dinner nap. So my day felt like it was ending at like seven o'clock and I
just wanted to be up and stay up and watch movies with Matt
and just like enjoy my day. And I just felt like my
day was just consumed with breastfeeding,
trying to squeeze in a nap trying to take a shower or
trying to eat something. And before I knew it, it
was like nighttime again. And it's going to be a
long night ahead of me. So that's how I felt. I know they say days are long or they say days are long years are short. So I just wanted to kind of bring that to days have been really
short for me in nights. I've been long. So as someone who really
enjoys the daytime and mornings it's just been a little bit hard to like feel like I don't get enough of that but you know, I it's all,
everything is always changing which is another point
I'm going to get to. My next thing that I also
wanted to talk about. Cause this is something
that I felt pretty emotional about is that I do feel
like dads take or partners that aren't actually birthing the baby can take like a little bit longer to grow a bond with the baby. Even you yourself, if you're
the one that birthed the baby there's a lot of pressure
that once that baby comes out into the world that you
just have this instant, like Oh my God, you are my world. I love you so much moment. And if that doesn't happen I think it can be really unsettling. And you just think
like, something's wrong? Why don't I love this baby
as much as I thought I would. Why don't I have those connections? And for me, I do feel like I
had that right away with Sage. But I know Matt, and he did express this to me and I did get upset about it but that was also because
I was very hormonal. But you know what? A lot of dads and partners experience this where they take some time to get to know that baby and create a bond. And I just want to say, I
think it's totally normal. Don't be upset if your
partner says that to you. Like Matt said to me he was just trying to be
like open with his feelings. And I totally got really
upset about it, but I was just like an emotional mom and him
telling me that made me feel like he didn't love Sage,
which was not the case. He's like, I love her. I just like, I feel like
I just don't know her yet. And you know, now they're
like two peas in a pod. I feel like she's like a mini Matt. But yeah, I just wanted to talk about that because I just think it can
be really like upsetting. If you feel like there's something a magical spark that's missing because I feel like it's totally normal. And a lot of parents go
through that and you know what, like they're growing, you
guys are growing together. You're learning each
other's personalities. And I think that bond takes time to get
really strong and like concrete. My next point is
everything is just a phase. The good times, the bad times everything is always changing. Nothing is constant. So if you have a really good week of baby sleeping really well, don't feel like that is like the new norm
next week might be horrible. And that's okay because
it's going to change. It might get better. It might get worse. I just think it's important
not to be like stuck on any specific routine with your baby because they are changing every single day which means your routine
is changing every day. And I think when you
come to terms with that it makes the next thing around the corner a little
bit easier to handle and take care of. All right. This next point is
something I actually talked about on my Instagram
stories the other day and had so many moms reach
out and be like, Oh my God that same thing happened to me. And I didn't even know
it was like pregnancy or postpartum related or just
moms were like, yeah, me too. And no one talks about it. So I kind of mentioned a little bit about being more smelly
in my postpartum video but like now I'm four months postpartum. And let me just tell you, you just smell you have a stronger body
scent after having a baby. I don't know if this is everybody but apparently a lot of people have it. And it's just not something
that I ever got told before having Sage. And like I said, it might not be everyone but I feel like it happens
to a lot of moms and yeah you're just a smellier person
and you know what, it's okay. Actually, it's kind of annoying,
but I'm dealing with it. So I just feel like I used to
be someone who like, I just wasn't super smelly and now
like I wake up in the morning and I honestly feel like I
just can't shower enough. I'm like, okay. Oh, I just feel like does a stinkier person,
I dunno, I notice it. I've asked Matt. And he, I mean, he's
like, I think like once or twice I've kinda noticed like
maybe yeah, stronger, small but like he is really
kind and it's like, no, no I don't notice anything,
but I definitely do. And yeah, I don't know. I just means I'm trying to
make sure I take more showers and put on that deodorant, but like there's nothing I can really do. I just like wanting to talk
about it because it's a thing and I didn't know this
and I'm just dealing with it and you know, it's
not the end of the world but it's just something
I never experienced before having a baby. And like now I'm all of
a sudden like smelling like this different person
and I'm unfamiliar with it. So I just wanted to point it out. So if you're feeling a little stinky just know we're all in
that same stinky boat. All right. Let's talk about food when you're pregnant and then postpartum. I feel like everyone always
thinks like when you're pregnant everyone has this like preconceived notion that like you just eat whatever you want. Honestly, for me, eating was like way less enjoyable
when I was pregnant. I honestly felt like I couldn't eat a
full meal and enjoy it. I would just feel so
stuffed and uncomfortable. I was always having to
eat like small portions or like easy to digest foods like oatmeal and soup and cooked foods like smoothies and salads were
like, not a fun time for me. And like maybe I overdid
it with like the fruit and the yogurt and the
cheese in the beginning. I kind of know I did. Cause those are like very
bloating, inducing foods. Especially if you eat a
lot of them, like I did but I just felt like I
could not enjoy eating. Like I did pre pregnancy
and then postpartum. I feel like that was the time for my for my appetite to shine. And I was just like eating
everything that first month. Because when you are
breastfeeding, you are so hungry like way hungrier than
you were during pregnancy. I think you actually
need more calories when you're breastfeeding than
when you did growing the baby. Which I never really knew. Yeah. After I had Sage, I felt like I was making up for lost time. And I was just snacking
one-on-one to snack. I was eating, I was having an ice cream like every single night and I loved it and I fully enjoyed it and
I did not feel bad about it. Now I'm back to like
eating my smoothies or drinking my smoothies and
stuff, still ice cream. But I just wanted to point that out. Like not everyone enjoys
eating while pregnant. I honestly just felt like I
just had to kind of suck it up and be like, it's not forever. I'll eat what I want, how
much I want after baby's out. But definitely eating
while pregnant was like not a fun time. It was just like, you have to
eat because you have to eat. But not because you enjoyed it. Does that make sense? Speaking of postpartum,
let's talk about healing. One thing I never really thought about was the fact that like
your stomach and like I said this is just my experience. I don't know if this is
everyone's experience but my stomach was quite sore. So obviously like your
vagina's going to be sore. Like baby's coming out
and everyone's like, Ooh like that's going to be sore
after, but you know what? No one talks about your stomach. Your muscles have been stretched out. Your stomach inside of your stomach actually
has an open wound. So this is something I had no
idea about until I gave birth. I gave birth to the placenta
and the midwives were or the midwife was like
doing a placenta tour which is when they like show you it and where baby was and all that. And she was saying like,
you know, you need to be careful these next couple
of weeks really take it easy because you have an
open wound in your body. So she was basically telling
me where the placenta is attached in your body leaves like an open wound when
it exits your body. I had no idea. I thought it was just like
floating around in there and it goes out, everything goes out and like, there's nothing,
no damage in your stomach. If, if you know what I mean. But apparently there is a wound that I know that sounds weird. Like yeah, open wound in your stomach. And it doesn't like sting or anything but it definitely feels like
achy after my stomach just felt like tender and sore for like
weeks after giving birth. And that's why it's so
important to make sure you're resting those
first couple of weeks. And then even now four
months postpartum, like still like I find near the top
were like where my ribs are. Cause your ribs do actually flare out. Which is another thing I didn't realize. Like they just stay like that for a bit. Like mine are still not fully down but the muscles like in
my abdomen are still sore. And like, I just never thought that like a stomach is
something that was still going to be sore, I guess, postpartum. So everyone is different but I definitely felt
uncomfortable in my stomach. I would do a lot of like massages and stuff with some oil
to help just like stretch and soothe those muscles. But just something to keep in mind. Your stomach is another
thing that may be sore and definitely needs to
heal post partum post birth. Yeah. Like even after you
push up the baby, they're like all the nurses and
stuff have to like push and prod on your stomach
to help like get everything out and make sure like that there's no like,
like hemorrhaging or anything. And even that sensation
was so uncomfortable. Like it wasn't that it
was like super painful. It was just like a little
queasy and uncomfortable. And honestly it was like
my least favorite part about postpartum was just like everyone pushing all
my stomach every few hours it was just uncomfortable. And then I just felt like I was just sensitive
and tender in that area. But yeah, just something
I never thought about. Yeah. So if you're feeling like a little sore and
stomach, muscle aches and stuff I feel you like literally I
feel you still is a little achy and I'm hoping, I don't know
how long it takes to heal but I'm just like taking
my time with recovery giving myself a little massage and hopefully things will
repair and come back together. Like literally I want
my muscles to come back. All right. Let's talk about the fourth
trimester because yes everyone knows now the fourth trimester it's like just continuation of pregnancy. But what I didn't know is that there's like new symptoms that pop up after I gave birth to
say my skin was so itchy. Like my neck, my chest, I read
a couple of different things. Like some people said it's hormones. Some people said it's like
just your immune system like balancing out again. I don't know. But it was so annoying. Like I just, all the time
itching my neck, my chest and it wasn't like a rash or anything. It was just itchy. So that was something new. Definitely. A lot of pregnancy symptoms went
away after I gave birth. But just things like I talked
about being smart smelly, hair loss. I kind of knew about that. But yeah, the itchy
skin was something new. Those were like the main
ones that I noticed, but just you know, it's good to
just be aware that yes certain symptoms will go
away, but new ones may pop up and it's just your body
kind of like readjusting and balancing to all these
like changes in your hormones. And there's just a lot going on. So yeah, I think it's just your
body like regulating itself and getting used to a new
version of yourself without maybe but still with all these baby hormones. Let's talk identity crisis, or
like mourning your old self. I've talked to a lot of mamas about this and it's not something
I really was like aware that I was dealing with. But I think with, especially
with your first kid a lot of parents will say
that it's a hard transition. You go from like, it
just being the two of you you have a certain life that
you've been used to living. And then all of a sudden
like this, you are a mom and you have so much
responsibility, everything life as you know, it has changed forever. You just, yeah, you have
so much responsibility. You're now taking care of this human. Your time is no longer yours. Like there's just a lot going on but you are now before
anything else, a mom or a dad. And I feel like that can be a
lot to sometimes just absorb and take in and like, yes,
you're still your own person. And yes, you can have other hobbies and likes and things
outside of Parenthood. But at the same time, like
that is now your new focus especially during those early years. And it can be a lot to take in. And like a lot of people
find it hard to kind of just wrap their head
around this like new person that they are now. And honestly, like, I feel
like I've coped pretty good. Like, I mean, I definitely have struggled with like the work-life balance and that's something I'm
just still navigating around because I love being a mom and I love my job and
what I do here online. And you can have more than
one thing that you love. And obviously I love Sage more than work but like I love the two things and I wouldn't be whole and
happy if I just was like I don't have time to
work and do what I love which is just connect
with you guys online. Like, I truly love what I do here. And it brings me joy. It brings me purpose. And a part of me would be missing if I felt like I could no longer do that. This next one is Parenthood
is a full time job not a side hustle. And what I mean by that
is like, yeah, okay. We know like taking care of a baby is a lot of work, but like I guess in the back of my mind,
I always thought like, yeah you can still do what to do. And then like take care
of baby in between. And like, no, the baby is like the the 40 hours a week, if not more job. And then like anything you want to do
is like just an accessory. It's that side hustle to your main job which is now being a parent. Whatever you think you're
going to be able to balance when you become a parent I'm just like half that, like whatever you're getting 10 now just cut
that in half or in a quarter. And that's what you're
going to be able to get done at least in that first little while. And that's okay. I think if you're aware of
that, it's easier to adjust. We quickly realized that we
were going to get way less done than we thought we were gonna get done. And that was just the matter of the fact. And you know, now I feel
like we're adjusted. We're kind of into a routine. Things do get better. Like baby starts to sleep more, things do start to get a
little bit more predictable. So you can like plan your day around it. She goes to bed a lot earlier now. So we have a little bit of
time just the two of us, you'd really do have way less time. And your main focus is the baby. And anything you want to get
done is like just the side the side of fries, the
baby is the hamburger the main course. Last but not least pelvic floor changes. And it honestly feels different
now to Pee to urinate. Like I knew that your
pelvic floor is basically this like little, not little it's like this like muscle that
just holds everything up. Like all your organs, the
baby, while you're pregnant. And it basically goes through a lot of trauma if you're having a vaginal birth and actually maybe any
birth even C-section I'm not quite sure, but
basically after you give birth you need to help like restore
and repair your pelvic floor. Cause it's really important
for like exercising for not peeing your pants when
you jump like so many things. And so I highly recommend
seeing a pelvic floor physio. So you can do exercises and stuff to help strengthen
your pelvic floor after birth. But one thing I did not notice is like it's different now to urinate. Like I feel like I stop
to pee all the time but it's harder to like fully eliminate if you know what I mean? Like I'll pee and it's like
hard, like to get it all out. And then like, I think I did. And like, I swear I have to
pee like 30 minutes later. It's like, I never peed. Yeah. I dunno. It's just weird. Like the feeling of peeing is different. I'm sure this is something that's going to like
feel a little bit easier as I continue to do my pelvic
floor exercises, but it's just like a different sensation
and yeah, sometimes it's like it's still that like mind
and muscle connection. I think I'm still working through definitely in that like first month I probably peed my pants a couple of times. Just like, not like
peed, but like a little little tinkle here and there. Like, Oh, like you just
have no muscle control. And like now four months postpartum like I have control
because I had been working with my pelvic floor physiotherapist but I still find it just
like the muscles don't work. Like they used to. So anyways, we're still
working through it and I know it's probably going to
like improve and get better. But yeah, just something I
thought I would mention there you have it, 15 things. I wish I knew before having a baby. I hope this video was helpful. Maybe you're pregnant watching this. Maybe you just had a baby. Maybe you're like 15 and not planning on having a baby until you're 30. And you're just like
curious on what's going on. I hope you enjoy today's video. If you are a parent
watching this and you have your own things that
surprised you after baby came leave them down below in the comments. I am super interested what
you guys have to offer and don't forget to subscribe,
click that red subscribe button down below. I have a full mommy life
playlist, if you want more baby and mommy videos like
this, check that playlist in the input box down below. And I will see you guys in my next video. I feel like I've been
sitting here chatting for way too long. I'm gonna grab my water. So I'm going to hydrate Sage is sleeping and I hope
you guys have a fabulous rest of your day. Bye guys. (upbeat music)
