15 Stoic Lessons for Dealing with Disrespect | STOICISM

disrespect is a universal problem that each of us has faced at least once in our lives this often makes us feel excited or upset stoics have found a solution to this problem so in today's video we will look at 15 stoic lessons that will help you deal with disrespect lesson number one keep calm and don't answer when someone insults neglects or provokes you it is very tempting to get angry and take revenge but responsive actions will only the situation even more take a deep breath and pause when you feel that you have erupted after disrespect slowly count to 10 press your tongue to your pallet this technique will help to quickly con the nervous system remember that an aggressive reaction even if the impulse seems Justified usually worsens the situation in the long term it is better to get a hold of yourself first than to react if it is necessary at all in addition refrain from responsive actions at the most critical moments do not take revenge later when emotions Co down an attempt to playoff passively aggressively harming the other in response continues the cycle of disrespect as Mark averly said the best answer is not to be like the offender keep your principles and treat the other with dignity your example can help to improve the situation showing patience and self-discipline remain calm when you encounter disrespect this balanced force often discharges and transforms unstable situations better than reactive anger lesson two consider the source as senica said the one who is offended when the offense is not supposed to be a fo but also the one who is offended when the offense is intended is also a fool because a wise person does not pay attention to insults when someone insults or humiliates you take a break to think before reacting is their behavior a reflection of their own pain uncertainty or ignorance and not an accurate Judgment of you maybe they have unsolved problems that distort their reaction in such scenarios as customer service disrespectful Behavior often arises due to stress and not because you have a relationship with them do not take a fleeting interaction close to your heart sympathy for their suffering will help you forget about the offense in a broader sense think that people's perceptions and assumptions usually speak more about themselves than about the external reality or other people our subjective judgments are formed under the influence of our prejudices and past experience what people attack you often reflects what they attack themselves their disrespect does not necessarily mean a lack of dignity in you keep your inner faith in your value regardless of how others behave allow the insult to roll off your back preserving unwavering dignity and self-knowledge wise people people do not take insults close to their heart lesson three be a bigger person when you are insulted or treated badly take a break before reacting negatively take it as a test of your principles and resilience find in yourself the wisdom and strength to rise above the desire to take revenge respond with a Comal pressure not aggression you can set clear boundaries and protect yourself without falling into insults or meanness in return Express reasonable requests for change in Behavior but do not demand and do not command if disrespectful Behavior does not stop know that you need to temporarily or forever leave the situation and relations but do it honestly and not with an explosive Splash or passive aggressive farewell shots preserving self-control and respect when you are provoked you change not only the conflict but also your character every complex interaction is an opportunity to demonstrate principles of understanding patience and courage as Mark orelus wrote If you endure trials with a c Soul unhappiness is deprived of its strength and time disrespect loses its strength to disturb you when you meet it with kindness give an inspiring example Lesson Four focus on what you can control as epic teer said it is not important what is happening to you but how you react to it when you are insulted or badly treated do not spend energy trying to change another person or endless thinking about the situation you cannot dictate your attitude or behavior to him but you can fully control your reaction ask yourself constructive questions for example how can I cope with this while maintaining self-control and ethics what can I learn from this about myself and my principles what is the most worthy way to move on send your strength to the available sphere of influence remaining true to your value acting honestly calmly defending a fair relationship when possible and controlling the messages you tell yourself of course try to improve the situation with reasonable actions if possible but without being attached to the control over uncontrolled things such as the behavior of other people calmness comes when you focus only on what is in your power sometimes disrespect can be inevitable but you can always choose whether to react to it with wisdom principle or with concern and blindness your control begins inside lesson number five accept that you cannot please everyone no matter how kind skillful or wise you are some people will inevitably treat you disrespectfully or feel hostility towards you this is not in your power carefully study the reasons why someone treats you disrespectfully perhaps their behavior is due to completely different values worldview and experience and not to what concerns you personally remind yourself that people have the right to their preferences and opinions even if they differ from your own it is not worth perceiving the difference in taste as a personal insult there are countless many factors that do not depend on you of course think about the reviews to understand whether you have the opportunity to improve your behavior but not all criticism is fair and accurate figure out what reflects the internal problems of the critic and what are your own shortcomings as Buddha taught some will hate you others will love you this is not in your power do everything possible to treat everyone kindly but accept that you will not please everyone reconcile with this inevitability your value does not depend on how much you have pleased the whole world remain internally balanced following your conscience know how to manage your emotions when you are not loved but do not wait for Universal approval it cannot be forced lesson six think about whether criticism is Justified STS know that we all have shortcomings and opportunities for growth be thoughtful even about disrespectful reviews when someone attacks you or ridicules some features of your character do not react reflexively take a break and analyze the reviews rationally when the emotions go away ask yourself can this criticism emphasize the true weakness in me even if the criticism sounded harsh evaluate its usefulness is there a place for improvement or dignity that should be cultivated in connection with the shortcomings they pointed out make an honest self-check before rejecting criticism of course not all reviews are accurate or worthy of integration use insight to determine what comes from their own problems and what comes from your true shortcomings think about the wisdom and motives of the sources before fully accepting their criticis ISM thank those who give constructive feedback even if it hurts lesson s think about whether criticism is Justified even in offensive comments there is an opportunity for growth if you are looking for a lesson with humility our enemies often point out weaknesses which friends keep silent to be kind STS know that we are all imperfect and can improve every day even out of disrespect you can extract wisdom if you listen to it treat feedback with rational insight and do not deviate from criticism considering it simply unfair lesson s remember that we all make mistakes the feeling of anger and the desire to take revenge is natural when you are insulted or treated badly that the stagnation of resentment rarely benefits in the long term it energetically binds you to the person who offended you ask yourself does insignificant disrespect really deserve the reason for your constant worries and desire to take revenge is it not better to Simply forgive the incompetent behavior that was not deeply malicious and move on as markia said the best answer is not to be like the offender but to wish him well forgiveness demonstrates courage and principle of course some manifestations of disrespect Crosser boundaries that require responsibility or removal from your life use wisdom to distinguish unhealthy Behavior patterns that require setting boundaries from simple misunderstanding that justifies Mercy but in small disputes a short memory often serves as happiness as epic Teeter said we must control our anger and restrain it in narrow frames so that it does not become our Master avoid inflated conflicts respect yourself and wise people know that all people sometimes speak or act improperly but kindness patience and forgiveness heal confessions renew your spirit letting go of minor offenses lesson 8 surround yourself with people who respect and support you conduct a thorough check of your relationships in Social Circles do some people treat you disrespectfully or are humiliatingly they do not appreciate your dignity think about limiting contacts with those who cause you the worst feelings even if it is impossible to completely disconnect from communication for example with difficult family members try try to reduce the time spent together to a minimum if possible communicate only for a short time and in controlled conditions manage your impact fill your life with those who treat you with Elementary decency encouraging your growth those who are voiced by your values do everything possible a good company lifts the mood of all your beings of course do not forget to sympathize even with toxic people but take care of your energy relationships should expand the opportunities of both sides and not exhaust one of them you teach others how to treat you what you endure surround yourself with those who see your light and do not cast a shadow on it life opens up in geometric progression when you allow some connections to retreat to free up space for full relationships that correspond to your higher self lesson 9 do not gossip and do not complain about disrespects statements often make you focus on the negative and give the situation more power over you of course share disrespectful incidents with close people who will give you healthy support and help you see the future but do not endlessly tell everyone about it who will listen to you this strengthens the negative when you have a desire to curse or complain first take a break think about whether this really contributes to your growth or is it just a spread of toxicity often you can find the best application of your time and energy expressing discontent can easily turn into a bad habit if you do not respect it but as senica said we suffer more often in our imagination than in reality excessive complaints intensify resentment instead pay attention to constructive actions look for lessons in difficulties and do not just talk about grief neutrally assess the experience as an opportunity to demonstrate in communication such virtues as forgiveness courage and patience avoid words that inflate the importance of disrespect beware of prejudices related to the confirmation of facts when you sympathize with those who agree only with your point of view look at the situation more broadly expressing resentment can give way to emotions in the short term but will make you stuck in the victim's position treat the difficulties philosophically within yourself and do not intensify the negative lesson 10 keep an emotional distance from those who treat you badly when someone insults you understand that this is more about his problems and character then about your value as a personality their opinion comes from their subjective point of view not from some absolute truth do not take a tax close to your heart keep your inner faith in your own value and principles regardless of others their disrespect does not actually reduce your value remain on the basis of self- knowledge and do do not look for confirmation from them of course no one likes it when they attack him but you can cope with the consequences for your spirit as Mark aelius advised choose so that you are not harmed and you do not feel harm do not feel harm and you will not be harmed do not allow the shortcomings of others to become your own allowing them to penetrate your perception of yourself you fully control your dignity and the inner World external factors cannot penetrate your mind and heart without your consent keep your spirit elevated inaccessible to unreasonable criticism lesson 11 maintain your integrity and value when you are insulted or treated badly it is very tempting to betray your principles in response maybe humiliate them in response undermine their reputation or even humiliate yourself to get approval but such reactive tricks only further reduce your value instead of playing their game firmly stand on your your own continue to demonstrate kindness understanding and Justice even if another person does not reciprocate you during an annoying conflict do not allow their behavior to pull you down as epic teer said dare to call you to God and say use me in the future at your discretion I am of the same opinion I am one with you for the future as you wish I am of the same opinion I am one with you I do not refuse anything that seems good to you believe leave in your higher purpose of course be ready to analyze your behavior to understand if you have opportunities for improvement but do not give up on your basic principles and do not allow unethical Behavior go for compromise in superficial issues but not in the soul remaining true to your wisdom and conscience you earn self-respect and integrity they will become your reliable anchor in any violent conflict a rational decision to argue shows true strength and maturity Lesson 12 be polite and professional but if necessary defend your interests behave politely and show elementary respect for those who treat you badly go step by step over time but do not allow harmful Behavior to remain unpunished in the name of maintaining peace paity leads to the opposite results when you are disrespected first politely say please do not talk to me like that or these comments were offensive and and reasonable give them the opportunity to realize and correct their behavior initially assume good intentions be firm and fair when setting boundaries of course immediately distance yourself from any interaction that leads to verbal and physical aggression do not be distracted by etiquette but even in this case it is better to disperse while maintaining your Authority in principles find strength in the embodiment of the main dignity for yourself and all people thanks to principled courage and high Mutual care many conflicts can be transformed lesson 13 realize that you cannot force others to respect you when you are treated disrespectfully there is a temptation to explode or concede trying to force respect through intimidation or flattery but these strategies undermine the sense of selfworth even more true respect cannot be forced understand that the choice of other people to be polite or not ultimately stems from their own judgments and inner State your attempts to control their behavior from the outside will only lead to disappointment and loss of personal power instead focus on self-respect maintaining your own standards of honesty regardless of how others act Give an example by demonstrating principled unrationed I cannot teach you violence because I do not believe in it myself I can only teach you not to bow your heads in front of anyone even the value of your life Stand Tall when you maintain calm and ethics despite bad treatment you earn self-respect thanks to courage and kindness the dignity inherent in you shines brightly enough to inspire others if conditions permit first of all bring it up in yourself lesson 14 focus on the positive moments when you are insulted or treated badly it is easy to feel sorry for yourself and focus on the negative but focusing on the victim syndrome will lead to even more Misfortune not to resolve the conflict equality is gratitude make a list of your positive qualities and valuable contribution remember all the people in your life who love respect and support you review your achievements and opportunities think about the positive qualities of a disrespectful person most likely his shortcomings coincide with good intentions and virtues in those areas about which you have no information take into account the fundamental human dignity accept the fact that you have gifts that you can offer and deserve respect just for what you are but let go of the attachments to receive it from everyone peace comes from within not from the need for confirmation concentration in the world during the dark gives perspective and protects from distorted thinking be proud of your virtues but at the same time sympathize with those who cannot fully appreciate them at least for now as Carl Yong said I am not what happened to me but what I decided to become your circumstances do not determine your value Shine without losing hope look at life's ups and doubts if you are involved in a conflict or are treated badly remember how you overcame similar trials in the past even if at that moment they seem destructive to you you are stronger than you think this will also pass consider difficult situations as an opportunity to demonstrate the principles of understanding resilience and mercy Under Fire how you react determines you more than what happens be Noble as great which you admire think about how insignificant random disrespect will seem to you in 10 years do not overestimate the importance of one of all events that shape your life maintain perspective of course take take reasonable steps to establish healthy boundaries and observe justice but do it patiently focusing on the general picture temporary conflicts should not distract you from Higher Goals treat trials with the wisdom of a person who has overcome great trials if you feel that any of these stoic lessons have found a response in you today do not hesitate to start a stoic discussion in the comments we welcome stoic discussions because it was they who were advised by great stws such as Mark Aurelius and senica if you like the video don't forget to like it and if you want more of this content subscribe and click on the Bell thank you for watching and as always I hope that you will find peace and Tranquility in the stoic path [Music] oh [Music]

Channel: 📜ROMAN STOIC📜

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Keywords: Roman stoic, stoicism, stoic, what is stoicism, stoicism philosophy, Marcus Aurelius, practical stoicism, stoicism quotes, stoic philosophy, philosophy, Seneca, paths of wisdom, stoic wisdom, ancient wisdom, iron mind, wisdom, Marcus Aurelius meditations, life lesson, mind, mindfulness, discipline, stoic meditation, stoic quotes, stoicism 101, modern stoicism, meditate, Epictetus, disrespect, faced disrespect, faced disrespect roman stoic

Id: 2xXzZ29nfzw

Length: 21min 2sec (1262 seconds)

Published: Thu May 30 2024