12 Signs You Live with a Victim Mentality

hi everybody mark - hey soos here I want to take a few moments to share with you 12 mindsets that show and reveal that you are living with a victim mentality 12 signs you live with a victim mentality now the victim mindset is something that is very challenging for us to often admit we have but it affects us all in certain ways because it bumps up against us whenever we are being stretched whenever we are at an area of our life that we need to go to the next level but this victim mentality it's rooted in rejection it's rooted in a rejection mindset it wants to cap you off and keep you underneath limiting circumstances now all of us have gone through difficult situations some more traumatic than others there have been forms of trauma drama and abuse that have really taken a toll on our hearts and one of the things that we have to be aware of is that a victim mentality doesn't creep in because a victim mentality takes the negative experiences of our past and attaches them to our identity so that we become one with us so it's not that we went through something it now becomes a part of our identity and it becomes difficult to see ourselves outside of that the opposite of a victim is an overcomer but a victim mentality wants to keep you trapped and one of the primary ways you can detect a victim mentality is a victim thinks that there are no options and no choices left I've done everything and now I have no choices I have no decisions I can make I have no options so a victim mentality wants to be a rejection mindsets foot soldier to keep you and many of you are like on the verge of breakthrough you're on the verge of another level but oftentimes the last resort of the enemy's kickback is to use victim thinking in a situation especially that you've been conditioned to see there's no hope and maybe you have series in series stirrers of of traumatic and clusters of very difficult situations that have taken you out and have conditioned you to live in victim thinking before I get into that if what I say has been very encouraging for you and it bears witness with what you're going through or what your wanting to break through please subscribe to these videos share them get on our mailing lists you can go to mark de asis calm to make sure you do not miss a video an article or a podcast episode and would you help us by donating go to the top right hand portion of our screen on mark DeJesus calm click the donate you can do a one-time donation or you can become a regular subscriber now I want to get into the 12 signs that you live with a victim mentality now as I share these keep in mind that it doesn't necessarily mean you have all of them you have to have all of them you may have just have one of them and I know for all of us at least one of these will speak to you if not more and if they do speak to you get my book exposing the rejection mindset will help you to understand how to break free of this more and more and without further ado let's get into the 12 signs number one and this is important for you to understand you keep repeating the same set of reasons as to why you can't break free or experience good things you keep repeating the same set of reasons you have these reasons that you keep cycling through you cycle through the same story maybe it's the same story of things that happen to you in the past it's those constant hurts you keep replaying them to yourself and to other people or you keep cycling through all the reasons why you are stuck or why you are where you are now here's the thing when you share them they're very good reasons it's not that these things are like so far out there most of the time there's some legitimate reasons but it's a problem they're keeping you stuck it's influencing your story so that the story you carry just stays negative it stays disempowering and you can't break free I'm all about being honest with what we've been through I don't ignore it I ate pretend it's not there or just wash over it I'm all about being sober about what happened but we have to be very careful that the story doesn't continue in such a way that it now becomes something we're eager to take over and over and over again because what happens is the victims story becomes a protective mechanism even though it's gross and hurtful and terrible it's familiar it's what you know and the negative story that you keep repeating can prevent you from seeing a different story it actually becomes a protective mechanism and doesn't allow you to see the breakthrough story the breakthrough options and really the different thinking that you need to connect to when we break out of the victims story it's very uncomfortable because now we have to trust we have to give ourselves room to hope again we have to begin to be more positive be more hopeful and there's a lot of changes and oftentimes what we want this is something that's we really need to pay attention to we often want God to rescue us if your prayer is a constant prayer of God rescue me you may need to check the victim mentality because what you're missing as a believer is the power of God that's already available inside of you to think differently and make different decisions there's always a decision we could lean in to learn from there's always something that maybe I'm not maybe there's a different way I could look at this and maybe I see to give myself time to learn that okay so this is the big one up front is that you keep repeating the same set of reasons the story why you can't break free or why you can't experience good things number two is you constantly think others have an advantage over you and it's almost like you have a radar for this everywhere you go so for example if you see someone who has a breakthrough your victim mindset will look for the reasons why they have an advantage oh that's great they were able to overcome that stuff well they had a good family supporting them oh that person was able to get over that issue well they had some money they and I don't have money well oh that person came from a good family oh that person's married I'm not married or that person's in a good marriage we'll see my marriage is not very good it's not very supportive so what you do is you stack these great reasons and you look at other people's reasons you put reasons on them to say that's why they have an advantage over you and you kind of feel like you are the chief victim in your situation and it doesn't allow for the input you need to break out of it some people can even become narcissistically obsessed over their victim state like nobody knows how bad it is in my life and you become self consumed with your pain and you become one with it and now it becomes this impenetrable force that people can't speak into they can't encourage they can't give insight and then you don't become teachable of the steps that you can take to break out because people who are empowered as overcomers always realize there's always an attitude I can choose there's a way of thinking I can choose there's always a decision I can make no matter where you are in life there's always an attitude which is your state of mind of thinking which can include a strategy and a decision you can make in that moment but a victim mentality doesn't want you to see that number three is your negative inner life always is always blamed on what has happened to you so you're cranky because of work you're cranky because of other people you're cranky or you're in a bad place because your spouse you're in a bad place because of your environment it keeps you from taking personal responsibility it's like something outside of me is in charge of my disempowered situation so your pain becomes like this asset that you hold on to and it doesn't allow you to step forward it's like you want to but you don't really want to because if you really want to break free you have to let go of blaming you have to go let go of looking at your circumstance being the dictator in your life number four you believe there's a conspiracy of the world against you now this can come into play even with Christians that believe in spiritual warfare right which I believe in I teach on it we kind of go man the enemy's really on my tail right enemies really kicking up there's a lot of truths in that I'm not going to negate that but that can be used as a way to keep us in a victim mentality all the enemy just keeps oh man really under a lot of warfare all just keeps happening to me man and we start stacking that we are victims of the enemy's arrows and that starts to get us in believing lies that we don't see the greater is He that's in us than he that's in the world notice the language greater is he that is not up in heaven greater is He that is in you see a victim is looking for something outside and we can attribute that in our Christianity and it's an easy transition right God up there I pray to you beg come and rescue me whereas in Isaiah 61 the Bible says the opening of the prison to those who are bound it doesn't say the the the taking of the prisoner out of prison says opening of the prison God says the opening is there you need to step up now break off those chains and step out into your freedom right so this is very very important that we we start to we start to understand the premise of the greater is he that is in us I need to make decisions that are new but we can get this conspiracy we're just under this assault and that affects our story it affects our perspective and you can take even spiritual warfare terms and they now become disempowering listen I believe in all of it and I teach it but I want to teach it in a grounded way and beware of falling under oh I'm always under attack and now you're feeding this I'm stuck because of the warfare I'm under or maybe you have like a joke oh I'm job and job story is a pretty extreme story and there's a lot to learn I've personally met anyone who's actually going through job now there's things we can learn from job but beware if you start just quoting job all the time you're missing the overcomer message in your life so it's really important to understand number five you constantly replay the same painful stories of your past with little to no fruit of healing or growth I call this unruhe dem t'v sharing okay what I mean by that is that I believe in honest sharing and I do it I do it myself I go hey man I having a tough day today and just need to talk it out right but it needs to be fruitful and leading to a place where you start to go alright I can do this I'm gonna that's where sharing becomes fruitful right but in a victim mindset your sharing is is unproductive it's in loops that just keep repeating and there's no revelation there's no helpful conversation there's no movement now all of us need to go around the mountain a bunch of times over and over again till we learn and God's gracious and merciful I've gone around the same mountain hundreds of times okay but at some point I had to go wait a second I'm repeating the same patterns over and over again something's wrong with this thinking that's it might sound good but it's attached to victim thinking I need to attach to the now word of what God's doing in my life or I can get stuck if you find yourself telling stories if you're in a situation where a lot of times you tell the story of your past and people go yeah I remember you telling me that that's a nice way of them saying you're repeating your stories over and over again you keep sharing them it's just a good signal of awareness um the problem is is that you get attention with those painful stories that's a tough pill to swallow to go all right yep I'm doing that and often times it becomes your style of relating you relate to other people through the style of your painful past so it's like even when you meet new people within a few moments it's like you got to tell them that painful thing that happened you got to let them know because there's a there's almost like a case the enemy wants you to carry a almost courtroom case of hey I'm a victim this is why I've been through and you need to know that cuz that's where that's why I am where I am right now and it can have facts to it but it's not the truth that sets you free you following with me on this so far I hope so let's get to number six number six is you often speak of being stuck stuck is a word you use a lot you're stuck you're backed against the wall you're in a corner when you're stuck it's this is very very simple when you're stuck it just reveals you've hit a upper limit you've hit a limitation and what you need is you need new understanding and new decisions new application when you say I feel stuck it shows you're inexperienced in this area and you need to be taught and you need to learn and you need to become teachable for new insight new thinking new decisions that's what's needed but you got to want it jesus said to the man at the Pool of Bethesda who had a victim mentality do you want to be healed and you have to ask that for yourself do I really really want this otherwise the being stuck feeling stuck it's gonna win over number seven you don't take in the encouragement the helpful feedback or instruction so there's one or two things you do if somebody encourages you you could feel better for the moment and then you want to keep going back to that person so you keep relaying those victims stories to get that feeling again all it makes you feel good thank you for praying for me every time you tell them they pray for you let me pray for you every time that they tell you something encouraging but over time it exhausts them but here's the truth when somebody gives you an instruction or an insight do you take it meditate on it and apply it or do you realize what I felt good in that moment I'm gonna repeat my story again this goes back to your sharing it but you're not listening if you feel stuck you need to listen to the people who talk to you because they'll stretch you at times they even make you angry because they'll poke at something that feel like I've already done that I've already done that I've already gone through those things I've already done those steps and maybe you have and maybe we just need to return to them or maybe need to return to them again with a new mindset okay number eight you feel powerless quite often to do anything about your circumstance you just feel like I'm too tired I'm too weak I don't have it in me you might think I'm too old I'm too far gone I've been through too much so then you believe you have no energy to do this you believe you can't break free number nine your story is disempowering you but it feels normal to you it feels safe the truth is the victims story can make you actually feel good because it's familiar but it's killing you and I encourage you look at the story you're living in what's the narrative what's the self-talk how do you respond to your situations because usually we do with the story that we're carrying right so are you living by an empowered story you may need to sit down and actually write out here's what I've been through here's where I am and here's what I'm headed and here's what I am saying yes - in God's Way of thinking in my life okay number 10 you constantly feel you get the short end of the stick you constantly feel you get the short end of the stick and when stuff happens where you're ignored or you don't get the breakthrough you go c-c keeps happening to me it's the victims story that wants validation it's rejection that once wants you to feel rejected rejection wants to be rejected that's why I teach so much in the rejection mindset because it's the game changer it uproots the victim mindset breaks you free to go wow I can make decisions now I have the ability to choose I can beloved I can Know Who I am I can live powerfully it's a whole different ballgame but the victims story is always out to keep you thinking I get the short end of the stick number 11 you tolerate abusive and negative relationships you tolerate relationships that are even disempowering so you don't make decisions for boundaries you don't stick up for yourself and you use those abusive actions that other people do to say see they keep doing this to me so that's why I am where I am and and and the difficult thing is you can actually keep people around you that don't challenge you I watch many people their friendships go to the limit where the friendship is now a sharpening challenging one and most people find a way to sabotage and back away although that person was to this that person was to that and really what it was it was a sharpening moment to break the victim mentality and go I need to step up into being an overcomer I do have choices I do I can decide I can choose my attitude right now and add my attitude as a choice my attitude is not under the power of somebody else I have the ability to choose it okay number 12 and this is really really important because this identifies how much our victimized history can affect us you do not know what you want you know you talk about your marriage and how it's limiting and so forth and someone asks you well what do you want and you go I don't know I don't know how to answer that what do you want out of your life let me ask you that right now what do you want for your future if you don't know how to answer that with clarity in a way that involves your decisions then you're listening to a victim mindset so victim thinking life oh it is always just happening to us and we're just trying to react when you become an overcomer you set the tone this is where I'm headed this is what I'm gonna think on this is what I'm gonna focus my attention on so sometimes victims will say we I do know what I want but what they share is a like lottery kind of situation where something falls out of the sky or it is a god rescue me kind of thing it's a god changing the circumstance for you rather than it's where God is taking the place of your ability to decide you know those scriptures talk about choose you this day who's gonna have the upper the edge who's going to have the dominant influence over your thinking choose you get to choose what are you gonna listen to what are you gonna focus on what's gonna be the narrative that you're gonna be living by and so sometimes people say well I just want whatever God wants no that's a Christian cop-out because again God is giving you ability to decide where you're going to head so if any of this has spoken to you please take a moment get exposing the rejection mindset to experience love know who you are and empower your relationships that's what I'm all about but the rejection route will prevent you from it it will keep you under limitation it will keep you under twisted belief systems and it will keep you separated from the power of what God's love can do in your life and so if you've liked this 12 signs you live with a victim mentality please go to my website mark - hey Zeus calm would you take a moment to support us to support this work and I look forward to sharing more and more empowering videos to help you with everything that you're going through and learning to be an overcomer god bless you

Channel: Mark DeJesus

Views: 83,297

Keywords: Victim Thinking, Victim Mentality

Id: 1TIkyD4043I

Length: 21min 4sec (1264 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 20 2019