Oh, Scott was some wonderful guy. He was 28, sorry. And he he was funny and he was adventurou. I didn't even know what
a hotshot was. Honestly, I didn't even know the danger of it. I didn't know. And and and he, Scott
explained
to me, said Mom, it's not. It's not that dangerous except for this type of situation. Or you know, and he he did include the weathr circumstance that happened that. I shouldn't tell this, but in high school he
was known as preppy. He and his girlfriend
were Biff and Muffy. If it didn't have an
alligator or
a polo pony on the shirt,
he didn't
wear it. Then he comes out here and it ws hard to understand why someone with a university degree would. Choose one of the hardest, dirtiest jobs that you can imag. We supported him in whatever
he wanted
to do, and I knew it wasn't the
safest occupation, but that's what he wanted to do. Being friendly to everybody did. He didn't meet a stranger and that's kind of the what was pasd on to the crew when they stopped at a restaurant or something. They thought they might be in fa while time with a crew
like that, but. Before they left, they said they were very nice, respectful, and that was kind of the hallmark of the crew. Andrew being the Sawyer, you kn, he had to carry not only the pa, he had to carry the saw
and it's tools. And you know, this is hard work. They were unique and I'm sure everybody in every crew, I'm not trying to make them a h. They were average guys. Well, Andrew was cute, but you know what I mean? I mean, they were average. Good men, you do it because
you love it. Certainly not because of the pa, certainly not because
of the medical. But you thrive sleeping
from the dirt, you thrive the camaraderie
of your crew, you thrive the challenge. And I had friends that lived up in Yarnell, so I used to go up there,
so I kind
of knew what the terrain was
and how it operated. Your nail was a place I'd never heard of before. You know, it's just it's such a
small little place off the beaten path. We knew we were running the risk of the fire coming to there as wel, but we thought, well,
if that happens then we'll just move again. Some of its packed. I started packin, you know my stuff just in case w the flames just right over ther, just beyond the rocks here, and that's pretty close. And then so I started screaming, telling everybody gotta
go, let's go. You know, because it
was right there. We could see the fire up in the hills and that was pretty start, to be able to see the tops of the mountains behind our home, you know, burning. I wasn't pac. Sentimentality. I was packing. You know, what do I want to stat a new life with if I have to? Precious mementos and all. Everything had to be. I just had to say goodbye. And all of a sudden it turned. Within like half an hour it turned just like that. We saw it blow up. Go up into the sky, turn purple and black and start blowing north. And a friend that was on the mountain watching said
that our house burned very quickly after that. Storm clouds came in and the con and when the column collapsed te was no way you could outrun tha. The one of the guys describes from the airplane up above that when it hit the Canyon came out. There was about a 400 foot flam. This little gate up here is the gate that we had to come through in the dark. It wasn't dark. Night time it was dark
because the fire that fell on top of us on that , all I knew was wind and fire. We were cutting a a fire break because we didn't want we did nt want the fire to come into the . And I told Mike Rookie I said get down off the hill, we're getting out of here. This mountain here, the fire came around on that sie from the came from West to east and it came from east to West. And it collapsed on us in the middle and it came through a a pass up here and it just came. It just came at us like
a giant fireball. I lost my part of my voice box and all my sinuses. But fortunately through
my training I learned I grabbed my
T-shirt and
I got water on it and I pulled
it up over
and had. If I hadn't have done that, they said it would have burned my lungs when I left there. I still didn't know
where my guys were, but what we had was an Arroyo. Right where they were cutting, there was a very deep one. It was about, I'd say 15 feet deep. They ran in the bottom
of the Arroyo and the fire went right over
the top of them. I mean like a sheet of fire. One of my firemen, his hair was on fire because he was ducking down and running and he didn't have his shroud on. I had to make it through that gate in the pitch black. I had gotten a text, actually from Scott. He texted me he whenever he went on
fires and
he knew I'd be praying and he
he texted
me about 4:00 o'clock and just
all he said was. The fire is running at Yarnell. About dinner time that night. Someone on TV said
that they couldn't make contact with the crew and and then about 5:00 o'clock lite before five we got a
phone call
but it was not it was a frightening
phone call and my husband turned
white as
a ghost when because he took the phone . It was from the. Fatherinlaw of one of the Blue Ridge Hotshots o were fighting the fire with the. It was their soup that rescued Brendan McDonnell and anyway he told us they were trapped
and in trouble. 7 How do you copy me? We did. Just kneel down the side of the bed and pray. We are preparing A deployment site and we are burning out around ourselves in the brush. And I'll give you a call when we are under the the shelters. OK, copy that. So you're on the South side of the fire then? OK, We're going to bring you the mean lad, OK? Division AB33 on air to ground. Division AB33 on air to ground. We're working our way around th. We've got uh, several aircraft coming to you. We'll see if we can take care of business for you. Division AB33, I need you to pay attention and and tell me when you hear the aircraft OK, because it's going to be a little tough for us to see you. So they are. They. Do they
deploy? They say. I'll never forget sitting in The Newsroom and heag firefighters in trouble, 19 shelters deployed. Yes, there were confirmed
fatalities. No. Early on we didn't
know how many. I was numb at first. I I was some of my friends were
saying it's
OK to cry. And I I I was numb.
I was in shock. Our entire crew was lost. We lot nineteen people in this wildfir. I had to have them repeat it toe a couple of times and it was li. Well, it can't be. I mean, this is just too horrif. You're not prepared. You just, you're just
so overwhelmed. You're just frozen by the horro. That's a hole in your heart that cannot be filled hands down per. So you just have to learn to live with this hole. When the number came in of how y of these Hotshots had perished , it became a different thing. But to lose a full hotshot crew was just unfathomable to us. It was. It was. This catastrophic feeling. And collectively it was just, Oh my God, this is when you find out what a tow, what a community is all about. And we learned so much
knowing that all of these guys were part of the Prescott community. Even though I felt like
I was prepared and I had seen a lot and talkeda lot and covered a lot of things, it was very, very hard. As the days went on, you started seeing tshirts
and hats from fire departments all
over the country. It was, I can't even
begin to describe this overwhelming sense
of grief and loss as a mother and as a wife and and and having sons as children. I did it just it overwhelms you. And I took it upon myself to call each and every one of them. And tried to be supportive and uplifting and let them know that our heart is breaking. I know their heart is breaking. They were still fire we had to put out through the town. We had evacuate the fire departt and so we were trying to figure out how to get that back in. But obviously everybody's in sh. That's what's really hard aboutu know that that event
is that, you know, there still had to be a firefig. Fires were still popping
up even quite
a bit. When the whole team left, there was still fires were. Stomps and things were
popping up
and so we were constantly going
all the time. Friends were comfort. The whole community of Prescott was a was such a it really that love that we felt really took really warm to me and help really helped us all. Sometimes we kind of protect ourselves byt going numb, as if it didn't hap, but yet we know in their mind that it is a tragedy with help. With family faith counseling, you have tools to when you have that moment of being overwhelme. I don't know how anybody does it without that. That moment changed the trajectory of your life. I just remember being extremely careful when I would question people that lived in the town. Because you didn't want to pry, you didn't want to push, but you wanted to, you wanted to do the. These firefighters justice by telling the story. I didn't meet one that
didn't want
to talk. I didn't meet one person that dt want to tell me the story of onf the Hotshots that they knew or t their kids knew and grew up wit. Everybody that you talked to had a connection. They were men who carried out tr duties with honor worthy of the name Granite Mountain Hotshots. How many people have ever had to do that? 19? It was like, what can you say? Our heart goes out to
you and the mayor, people of Prescott and
people of Arizona for the terrible tragedy
you have endured. Vice President Biden was there, myself and other dignitaries, and it was just so moving, just so shocking, so heartbreaking. All men are created equal. But then. A few became firefighters. Thank God for you all. Thank God for your willingness to take the risk you do. I was on the floor and firefighs were marching in. It was a memo. And as they were marching in, they were hugging this
one young man. Looked to be about 1819
and I couldn't quite figure out who
he was, why him? And we later found out
that he was
the 20th and every member of this
community feels blessed that he is with
us here today. It is my honor to introduce my brother firefighter
Brendan McDonough and immediately your thoughts
went to him. Of survivor's guilt, which we knew that he would hav. Why was I the one that
was the lookout? Why was I the one that survived? Why was I the one that would live to tell this story? Thank you. And I miss my brothe. And we're here today to
remember them now. I love my family. All of you that are out there. Thank you for supporting me. And then later this transition to a different kind of story where you had the partners, the spouses of the firefighters
fighting for benefits, no mail this I OK, well then I'll talk to them. And if you don't, I mean
to talk in here, then I'll talk to them. Thank y, City of Prescott, for supporting the Hotshot fami. How they didn't even give. Any time for her at all. It was appalling. All she wanted to say was 2 min. And I remember Amanda Marsh outside, just
right next
to the steps of the the Avapi
County Courthouse, famous Courthouse square, getting into a screaming
argument with another man over the
benefits that her husband and the other firefight, spouses or partners
were entitled to. The emotion was so raw. My husband, Eric Marsh, Jesse S, all of them would say we're working on Andrews benefits. We've talked to the city manager about Andrews benefit. We have been through enough. We have been through enough. Those people want to hear from you.
OK? I understand he has been horrific in dealing with him. He's been uncompassio. Exaggerations with the truth do bother me because. I'm a human being just
like everybody else. I'm not even sure what the benes are for Miss Ashcraft. We've never covered parttime employee. It would be extremely expensive and very difficult to do. So I get it. You know, I know what box they checked. Yeah, I have a health insurance business. I get it. I get employee rules. But somebody has to say we have your back. At that moment, they felt like y were being mistreated
after everything. They've been through. After the sacrifice
of their partners, their spouses, they felt like they were being cast aside. I don't know if it brought
it all back, but it never let it end. And in truth, this never ends. It was. I've never been
in a war zone, but with all the the blackened limbs and the and it was, it was really eerie and pretty pretty depressing. It just broke my heart. And of all the things that continue to haunt me, it's 19 men losing 127 structures. It took
a while to build back and get all through the shk of the fire and just losing the. It was so erratic it went. I like to describe it as an oct, the arms of an octopus. It just hit this house, but not that one and that house, but not that one. We were all bound by
that common loss. We had built numerous houses in our married life and. We knew what it meant and we jut decided we didn't want to have to do that again. This is the same spot. It was a it was a small two-bedroom house and it just burned to the ground. We've been Jim and I had our we grieve differently you know and everybody kind of grieves very, very differently and that was a that was a learning experience and and Jim you know we. We had our time times that we ft a little distant from each othe. But you know he we got a healin. You know Jesus heals the broken hearted 10 years you live it still every
day. I still haven't opened my Christmas ornaments. That box I tried once and I sai, can't do that. We stayed. We we didn't even ever. We didn't consider moving. We didn't consider moving. We move from one house to another but not out of town. And I know some some of the fams have a have difficulty
coming back here. This is where my children
were raised. This is the elementary school, this middle school, the high sc. How I thought about moving,
but how do you, how do you walk away from that? How do you walk away
from those memories? I can't go somewhere else and make more memories with Andrew. His childhood memories are here. Seriously. A couple years after the traged, we thought about moving back ho. And as time went on, my wife sa, well, our son lived here, he is buried here and a lot of r friends have moved on
and passed away. And so she got to the point she didn't want to go back home. That this was home. I think faith as well as supporf family and friends and when I tl one I someone I don't have a fa, the firefighters, if you're talking to one of the, they say, yeah, you got a famil. It's us. People come in here all the
time and
and say I just remember where
I was that day. We started this a little over five years ago and we've been. It's been a lot of work. It's been good work. It's been good work. It's bittersweet. You're reminded of the tragedy, of course. And then you're also grateful that something like this is available to the public. May Granite, Mountains,
Memory be known. But don't forget they were good rock solid men. Look at the way they died. None of them ran. They all stoo. If you listen to the audios. You hear the saws going, they were bust in their*. They were doing exactly what they were trained for. This road basically was my lifeline. I'm. I'm happy to walk on it and see that it's flowers are growing and trees are budding. As you look at it now, you think well what burnt down? Everything you see burnt down. You say yarn now or you
say the hot shots. Immediately you go to that plac. And it hurts. It still hurts. It still hurts today. Yeah, this town will at this pot is on the, on the map as alwaysl be where the 19 or fall have fa. My tearing up tells me that there's a lot
of grief still around and enormous gratitude
for what those guys putting their
lives on the line. And that's what, you know, we hold in our hearts, is that they're dedicated to doing what they had to do, you know, and it isn't worth their lives. But it happened. And what do we do with it? I don't grieve for the
house any longer. I don't grieve for the
things any longer. I have many wonderful memories. But I do grieve for the 19 men. It's embedded in your mind, and it'll be there till I pass . I'm honored to say that
my son was
on it. Would I take it all back to have him back? Yes, I would.
