10 WEAK WORDS You Should CUT from Your Novel

what's up my friend Abbi here and welcome back to writers life wednesdays where we come together to help you make your story matter and make your author dreams come true a couple weeks ago we talked about line editing and I showed you a little behind the scenes look at my line editing process in that video I mentioned cutting weak words out of my writing but I didn't actually go into what those weak words are because that's a whole video in and of itself and so that's what we're doing today we're going to explore the ten weakest and most pathetic words that you should probably delete from your novel and I say probably because it's not always appropriate to delete a weak word yes you heard me right sometimes weak words actually work which is why in this video we are going to go through these words and as we go through them I'm going to show you examples from my own writing of when you should cut them and when you should keep them why does your story matter good question what if I told you that there's a science behind every great story I don't just teach you how to write I teach you how to change the world with your story and make your author dreams come true a couple of years ago I went on this huge editing research spree and found a bunch of weak words collected them from articles and videos and blog posts and just all over the internet all the weak words that you should look for in your novel compiled them into a giant list in my notebook and then sifted through to figure out which ones are actually worth spending my time on and now every time I sit down to edit a novel I'm on high alert for these ten words ready to chop them but not always there is a time and place to keep them and that's all we're gonna talk about right now please note when I cut these words I totally disregard all the times that they appear in dialogue I love realistic character voice and people in real life do not always use perfect strong words when they speak so if there's a weak word in dialogue I don't care about it I usually intentionally put it there because I love realistic character voice and most people don't talk like a college syllabus in real life okay so this video is to help you strengthen your prose and your descriptions and anything that isn't dialogue but you still have to take character voice into account here even with the narration so keep in mind how your character speaks and thanks and let's dive into the weak words first up suddenly use this word sparingly okay my rule of thumb is only use suddenly when something is actually sudden because technically everything happens suddenly but you're trying to make your reader sit up and take notice of this thing specifically so it kind of makes sense that if you use this word too much you lose your element of surprise okay it's like the boy who cried wolf suddenly we don't care about anything happening suddenly because everything happened suddenly kudos if you just noticed my unnecessary use of the word suddenly here's an example of where I could cut this word from my own writing I turn away suddenly heading for my bike a few kids ask me where I'm going but I pretend I can't hear them over the music if suddenly was removed from the sentence who literally changed nothing I turn away heading from my bike a few kids asked me where I'm going but I pretend I can't hear them over the music in this scene my character is annoyed so we already know that he's turning away suddenly without having to say suddenly now when should we keep suddenly when something sudden happens like in this scene from the same book when a fight breaks out and my character finds himself caught in the middle of it everything into chaos shouts and cusses my adrenaline spikes and suddenly every muscle in my body is on fire yes I will probably strengthen that sentence even more but I'm gonna leave suddenly alone so here's the verdict cut it when the action happens just as suddenly without you needing to say suddenly keep it when something is sudden enough to throw off your character and thus throw off your reader weak word number two then the problem with then is simple it's filler we know that one thing happens then another thing happens of course this is how cause-and-effect works we learn to Newtonian physics in first grade thank you very much technically you could preface every single sentence in your book with the word that there's something to keep you up at night here's an example of where it could cut then from my own writing he stares at me blinking as if I'm a ghost then he pulls off his headphones letting them drop around his neck look at that then there's literally no reason for it to be there he stares at me blinking as if I'm a ghost he pulls off his headphones letting them drop around his neck see how marginally better that is the sentence flows exactly the same but without interruptions when is it perfectly fine to use the word then when something actually changes then is a lot like the word but in that it's a bridge between two actions to show how those actions are different for example trees and sunlight blur around me then give way to a clearing here I'm describing the scenery changing so it works just fine in fact if I deleted the word then from this sentence it would sound weird so that's a good rule of thumb cut it if the sentence flows normally when it's gone keep it if it's bridging the gap between two actions and highlighting the difference we're number three is very and/or really we all know this rule don't say you're very tired say you're exhausted this is a great rule to write by because tagging very or really on to the beginning of a week descriptor doesn't make it any stronger here's an example of where I could cut very from my own writing after that she curls my hair for me it's actually really cute soft beach waves that touch my shoulders well I can think of a synonym for very cute after that she curls my hair for me it's actually adorable soft beachy waves that touch my shoulders better and here's an example of where really works just fine I try to find a way to thank him without really thanking him at all so be careful with this one and just trust your instincts cut it when you could use a stronger word keep it in cases of the very next day the very front the very back the very edge really they're really happening really consider etc and everywhere it sounds better with really very than without weak word number four is an was technically this is passive voice telling and not showing whenever you're telling me that something is or was there's no action attached to it the sky was blue or the sun is shining feels flat because it is flat it's stagnant and boring here's an example she was small and curvy wearing a lacy dress and holding a hairbrush in one hand the soft light was reflecting in her eyes and making her milk pale skin seemed to glow here's the cool part if I take out was I'm basically forced to give the sentence more action like this a lacy white dress hugged her small curvy figure and she held a hairbrush in one hand her milk pale skin glowed in the soft light and her eyes reflected in it yes you can describe inactive things like dresses and skin with active words but believe it or not there are actually some instances where it's better to tell rather than show when you need to deliver information quickly and seamlessly to the reader without slowing down the action of the scene like this the closest mall is 50 miles away so it's never a frequent outing it would be kind of weird to spend time making that an active sentence like the closest mall sits in a town 50 miles away it would just sound like to money Hooper too many words to describe something so simple and slow down the action of the scene so sometimes telling is actually okay cut it when you can show us what the subject is doing instead of what the subject simply is keep it when the subject is inactive and you need to convey the information quickly weak word number five started don't start to do something okay just do it there are very few instances where the words start to are actually necessary here's an example despite the murmur of the party guests and the muted chorus of an old Christmas album that has started playing the room is quiet to my ears that sentence isn't bad but it's a little muddy despite the murmur of the party guests and the muted course of an old Christmas album playing in the background the room is quiet to my ears much better so when can we say something started when something actually started especially when a character gets interrupted or it doesn't finish something that they start feeling no less angry I come to the logical conclusion that I should start walking there might be a town up ahead some place I could get fuel and come back for my bike my character here is stranded in the desert but hasn't done anything about it yet so I should start walking is perfectly fine here other times this might be clickable of something like it's starting to rain or just when you want to deliver information quickly to the reader without beating around the bush with descriptions so here's the verdict cut it when literally nothing changes if it's gone and keep it when something actually starts or when an action is interrupted or unfinished week word number six just not guilty of this one at all just is one of those words that's really easy to overuse it's just so convenient you know but most of the time it's completely unnecessary here's an example of where it could cut this word from my own writing I have no idea chances are I'm just overreacting Wow okay how about I have no idea chances are I'm overreacting yeah that's better but now of course you're wondering is there a right time and right place to use the word just yes but it's a little tricky so you have to play it by ear basically you have to ask yourself will it still make sense if I delete the word just 99% of the time the answer is gonna be yes but sometimes there is still that 1% you're gonna want to use just as a limiter like this dad is working late at the hospital so it's just me and mom like most nights so take your time with cutting the word just I know it seems totally unnecessary like it always deserves to die but not always so give it a fair trial cut it when nothing changes in its absence keep it as a limiter or an indicator of time week word number 7 is somewhat worse slightly this is like the finest stronger word rule except it's the other way around so chances are if you're if a character is doing something slightly or somewhat you're using a word that is too strong for what you're trying to describe or it's just a nuance so unnecessary why are you wasting our time with it here's an example of where I could cut this word from my own writing now plan B Jerome looks slightly terrified what's plan B strong word much yeah what I'm trying to describe here is mild apprehension nothing like terror by the way so let's fix it using some active voice now plan B Jerome glances up at me eyes wide what's plan B oftentimes you can remove the word slightly and the sentence works just fine without it like he leaned back slightly can just turn into he leaned back we do not need to know if it's a slight gesture or a full gesture you can also use slightly and somewhat in sentences where there is no weaker word to describe what you mean I feel someone responsible for this conflict after all I'm the one who brought up the topic that started the fight yes what my characters feeling is responsibility because she's the one who brought up the topic that started the fight but she can actually start the fight so she's not entirely responsible she's just somewhat responsible someone actually works there cut it if you can use a more accurate and intentional adjective instead keep it if it actually creates the most accurate description of what's happening week word number eight somehow can someone say missing information using the word somehow is a mark of lazy writing even if you weren't being lazy exactly when you wrote it it unfortunately comes across that way the reader feels like they missed something and they kind of did because there's a missing link in your chain of information here's an example Mary had her back to him stirring cream into her coffee at the counter but she somehow heard his footsteps on the stairs even over the noise so how exactly did she hear over the noise does she have some kind of super incredible hearing capabilities but somehow isn't necessary here we all know how people hear things let's just cut this word Mary had her back to him stirring cream into her coffee at the counter but she heard his footsteps on the stairs even over the noise when is it okay to say somehow when a character is missing information I'm a big supporter of writing in deep point-of-view ok never leaving the protagonists mind for a moment and seeing everything through their eyes so if they don't know all the information for sure then it's perfectly okay to use somehow like this my bedroom door opens and I can somehow sense that it's grandma my protagonist is blind so she doesn't actually know who just opened her bedroom door but she knows her grandmother's so well that she can just sense when she's in the room so that is a perfectly fine use of this word cut it when you're just being lazy by avoiding information and keep it when your character is missing information or can't make sense of something weak word number nine seem show don't tell that's a good rule to write by and chances are if you're saying that something seems a certain way you're just weaseling your way out of the action yes the point-of-view character is perceiving something but how exactly are they perceiving it through action ha I thought so example we can drop you off at the park and you can rejoin your class she still seems apprehensive but only replies sound like a plan how does she seem apprehensive what exactly is my protagonist noticing about her that screams apprehension I don't know the reader doesn't know nobody knows so let's fix it we can drop you off at the park and you can rejoin your class she hesitates rubbing the side of her neck sure sounds like a plan nothing a little nervous body language can't fix this sometimes however it is perfectly fine to use the word seem especially when a character knows something intuitively but they don't know how they know it they just have a feeling about it example although I shouldn't judge I can't help but notice that her friendliness seems insincere so here's the verdict on seme cut it when you can show us how the character perceives what's happening and keep it when your character's intuition is telling them something weak word number 10 definitely this one is pretty much always useless it's like the narrator is just insisting what they believe is true but in a totally dry way that just slows down reading time here's an example from my own writing I'm in danger of crying happy tears again and I definitely don't want to become an emotional basket case in this car look how useless it is look how you literally don't notice when it's gone I'm in danger of crying happy tears again and I don't want to become an emotional basket case in this car when is it okay to use definitely when a character is previously unsure about something but now they're convinced could I have the wrong theater no way I checked three times to make sure I was correct and I've been to premieres before so I'm familiar with how they go down there is most definitely no premiere happening tonight so earlier on in the scene my protagonist wasn't sure if the premiere was happening but now after the confirmation that it is not happening it makes sense for him to say definitely there are other times when this word is 100% okay to use so follow your gut cut it when it contributes literally nothing to the sentence and keep it when contrasted with previous doubt so we just went over the 10 words but this is kind of like a bonus bonus word that's not really a word it's just more of like a type of word adverbs aka anything ending in ly it's one of those more subtle ways that passive voice sneaks its way into your writing here's an example of how adverbs make prose super bland josephine smiles sympathetically of course we forgive you speak for yourself mom cuts her off bitterly turning away from us both yes you can see it but it's not snapping in your face so let's change the adverbs to verbs and see what happens Josephine gives me a sympathetic smile of course we forgive you speak for yourself mom snaps turning away from us both so much better of course adverbs aren't always bad and you're absolutely not going to want to delete all of them it's impossible to avoid adverbs altogether but you just want to make sure that you don't have too much of one thing to comb my manuscript for adverbs in my final round of copy edits I use the app Hemingway I talked about Hemingway in my last editing video it's an awesome free app that highlights adverbs passive voice hard to read sentences and convoluted words super helpful okay boom that's it those are the top 10 weakest words that you should chop from your novel but not always so don't get to trigger happy with your delete key I know it's fun to mercilessly chop words from your book but you have to remember that some weak words actually work it depends so edit smart okay now it's time for you to talk to me comment below and tell me which one of these weak words are you most guilty of using mine is definitely just I use just way too much it just sounds nice you know smash that like button if you liked this video and be sure to subscribe to this channel if you haven't already because I post writing videos and publishing videos and editing videos every single Wednesday and I would love to have you here in the community also be sure to check out my patreon because that's where we go beyond videos and take storytelling to the next level the patreon community is not only the best way to support I'm doing here on YouTube but it's also the only way to connect one on with me and get better guidance on your story so go to patreon.com/scishow and happy word chopping and Rocco Mary had her back to him stirring cream into her coffee at the counter but she heard his footsteps on the stairs even over the noise that's the scene with like a chainsaw going in in the background because somebody's chopping up a tree outside not the noise of her stirring cream into her coffee which sounds never mind

Channel: Abbie Emmons

Views: 392,104

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Id: q-fTxypPFRU

Length: 19min 25sec (1165 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 11 2020