- Do you want to gain muscle instantly? Then try Red Cow Muscle Solution. This doesn't look healthy. Just in my mouth? Okay. Nothing happened. Of course it did, stupid. Call now. (whimsical music) This one's for all of
you who always wished, "Why can't they make a highly suggestive workout tool for me?" The Shake Weight is a
phallic looking object that was initially marketed towards women as an oscillating dumbbell that claims it increases the impact of exercise. At nearly $20 per Shake Weight, plus shipping and handling of course, these things sold rapidly in no small part due to the viral
commercials that had people laughing so hard, they
must have been dying to know if the product was even real. In the first year that it was released, the Shake Weight made over $40 million for Fitness IQ and the
man behind it, Ben Kunz. In 2011, Consumer Reports released a study in which they found that doing
the Shake Weight routines actually burned less calories than simply walking at a reasonable pace. So don't waste your money
looking like you're, you know. Just go for a walk instead. Just in case you didn't feel nerdy enough with those pens in your pocket or purse, now you can wear that ballpoint around your neck like a real playa. What's that, you want more? You got it. Boom, it's a digital clock, too. Nailed it. Marketed to those who are always dropping, breaking, or otherwise losing their pens, the Magnescribe Pen is a
writing tool that connects to a circular clock you
wear around your neck. Simply by pulling it out of its dock, you can be writing in seconds, like, you know, two
seconds sooner than it was if, you know, you had it
in your purse or pocket. The commercial makes it seem like this thing is essential for your life. Why glance at your watch or phone when you could awkwardly
draw up the string around your neck and turn the
tiny clock to face you? Sounds like a good idea to me. The commercial also fails to address what happens when you
ultimately lose the pen that belongs in the magnet pendant. Well, you just gotta buy
another one, obviously. Have you ever returned from
a nice walk and thought, "Man, I wish that walk
could've been more difficult and full of embarrassing mishaps"? If so, do I have the perfect solution to your too solid walking problem. Toning shoes. This new footwear is
keeping people on their toes with different styles such
as rocker bottom sole, curved soul, and collapsible heel sole, and by promising to aid
in burning more calories with each step, improving muscle strength, and bettering overall balance, while making walking, of
course, more difficult. But of course, studies show
that they don't do those things. At all. In fact, on May 25th, 2011,
Consumer Reports revealed that most types of
toning shoes just created increased risks of
injury to their wearers. Twisted ankles, muscle
tears, and even broken bones were becoming common,
with some of the injuries actually requiring surgery to fix. Stick to normal shoes, people. There are no shortcuts. Ugh, isn't preparing pasta such a chore, all that boiling and waiting patiently? And don't you just hate all those dishes that you have to do after you cook it? Well, lucky for you, the Pasta Pro is here to make your life much easier. Basically a pot with
holes in the top of it for straining the water, this thing's gonna revolutionize how you soften your noodles. Just boil, dump, and
then do everything else you'd normally do. Of course, the Pasta Pro barely decreases any amount of dishes that you have to do, merely eliminating the strainer, which you probably eliminated anyway if you use the lift
the pod lid just enough for the water to spill out
but not the noodles approach. Still though, how can you go without it? The best part of this as seen on TV item is the commercial itself, which expresses the product's versatility, which allows it to be used on either a gas or electric stove top. You know, like pretty much
every other pot in existence. So. Want to improve your strength,
dexterity, flexibility, but without actually working for it? Try the Power Bracelet. This company, whose CEO
and PR team by the way, must go through a lot of undergarments with their pants constantly
catching on fire, created some plastic wrist
accessories that promise you an increase in physical
attributes simply by wearing them, or, at least they did. That is, until they were
forced by an Australian competition in consumer commission ruling in 2011 to retract their claims. They also had to apologize
and pay out around, I don't know, somewhere around the tune of $57 million for false advertising. The false advertising claimed that the enhancements occurred due to holographic technology, which was basically a sticker
on the front of the bracelet. How people believed the company's lies, I'll never understand, but many did, and shelled out around $30 per unit, and they sold a whole lot of 'em. There's a sucker born every minute. It happens all the time. A happy newlywed couple are
settling down for the night when suddenly one of them
farts, ending the bliss forever in the stench of the possessed element that is now hovering around them. Next thing you know, they're
in a bitter custody battle as the divorce papers get finalized. If you don't want this to happen to you, then you've got to get
the Marriage Blanket. This ridiculous product
sells for just $29.99 plus shipping and handling, and promises to protect your union from the bodily functions you experience by insulating you against
each other's odors. Made from activated carbon fabric, which apparently is
what the military needs to protect soldiers from
chemical weapon attacks, the Marriage Blanket
absorbs your flatulence and saves you from a nasty divorce. Of course, a real
partnership could survive a little poopy gas, but
don't go tellin' that to all those potential customers. To them, it's just silly nonsense. Legit though, how bad
your farts gots to be to make me wanna get a divorce with you? Less Taco Bell, more veggies. As ripoffs go, few are more
clearly not worth your money than those which promise
you healthier life and the chance to shed those
excess pounds without exercise, like by simply, you know, taking a pill. However, that's what a number
of TV commercials advertised for companies like
Enforma Natural Products, who in April of 2000
was ordered to settle up with the Federal Trade
Commission's charges and pay $10 million in consumer redress after misleading customers
with their products. Their products included
Exercise in a Bottle, Fat Absorber, Fat Trapper,
and Fat Trapper Plus. Calling these products miracle drugs, the people behind these lies actually had the nerve to try it again, this time falsifying scientific studies and violating the court
order by advertising and selling new products,
Acceleron and Chitozyme. In case you didn't know, there's no pill that can make you lose weight. It's all proper diet and exercise. Unless it's a laxative, in which case, you'd probably lose a
little bit of weight. Sorry, that's gross. Man, when you gotta go,
you gotta go, am I right? But when you're about to
tee off on that 10th hole and that urge to pee creeps
up on ya, what do you do? What's that? You wanna find a toilet, outhouse, or bushes like a normal human being? Why on earth would you do that when there are products
like Uroclub to assist you? This incredibly ridiculous
secret pee pee reservoir makes the perfect gift
for golfers who can't be more than eight feet from
a bathroom at all times. Grandpa, lookin' at you. The Uroclub looks like a normal golf club, except the end of the grip
unscrews to reveal a tube that's ready to receive your three wood. By covering your crotch area
with the provided green towel and putting your business inside the club, relieving yourself is exactly
the same as using a facility, only more complicated and obvious. Ever wonder why your dad takes a really long time before putting? Yeah, now you know. When it comes to false advertising, it seems like sometimes hiding
the lies in a hint of truth makes the advertisers sleep better. Take Sauna Suits, or the
more modern Sauna Shorts, for example. These things promise to strip
you of those extra pounds by making you sweat more, but
they're far from a good idea. Now, the truth is in the sweating part. The suits and shorts keep the heat in, increasing your body heat,
which makes you sweat. Now, while yes, you lose water weight while you sweat excessively,
it's a temporary fix. The first thing you have to do
is drink water to compensate, and that's just going to
bring the weight right back. What's worse is using Sauna Suits, shirts, or any similar style of
attempted weight loss can do some real damage to your body. Excessive sweating can
lead to severe dehydration, which in turn can lead to organ failure. This one's not just a
ripoff, it's life-risking, but hey, if you wanna lose some pounds, sometimes you just gotta ride the snake. Don't you just hate it when
you're doing your business, you know, dropping the
kids off at the pool, you know what I'm sayin', and there's absolutely
nothing to do but sit there and wait for nature's
movements to be over with? Sure, you could read my book,
Mind=Blown or a magazine or get back to those texts
that you've been putting off, but there's got to be something that, while spectacularly unnecessary, will give you something to do and maybe even teach you something. Well, yes, there is, the Potty Putter. Though now widely considered
a gag gift for avid golfers, this bathroom distraction
had a real TV commercial teasing it would take
some strokes off your game for only $19.99. The ad actually promised
to make you healthier by not rushing your business, claiming with the Potty Putter, you'll take time to play with your putter. Of course, the whole thing
is incredibly awkward as nobody puts in a squatting position, and if you do, they're
probably pooping their pants and you should get
authorities immediately. But hey, thank you guys
so much for watching this, and if you got a laugh out of
it or you learned something, any of the above, drop a like on it. And of course, don't forget to
subscribe if you haven't yet. I'm going to have a brand
new video for you tomorrow at 12 west coast time,
three Eastern Standard Time, so make sure you come by then. Have a great day. Make sure you're smiling today, baby. Don't go buying any of these products, and I'll see you then. Peace.
I knew a girl that SWORE the Shake Weight worked. She would actually get mad when you made fun of it.