🌰Text To Speech 🍹 ASMR Cake Storytime || @Bailey Spinn || POVs Tiktok Compilations 2023 #42

$100 now or double it I'm going to take it I can get so many pumpkin spice lattes with that but then someone else could get $200 and they might need it more and I need my pumpkin spice whatever I'm going to double it three Lamborghinis I'm out of the game but you should take it what would I even do with three cars I don't have a license you could sell them driving scares me anyway dude I'm in so much trouble what why I got 10 houses and accidentally burnt one down you burnt a house down well yeah but it was only one out of the 10 so this is why we can't have nice things eight private jets that's not fair I want eight private jets where would I go the only place I walk to is the fridge you could go anywhere duh I just don't want to take it away from someone who might want it or need it more than I do okay whatever goody two shoes I'm going to turn one of my 10 houses into a water park hello Earth to Bailey I was asking if I should put a lazy river in what what does it say1 billion $1 billion if you don't take that you're an idiot I I don't know what to do with that much money I have $7 in my account right now dude you could get literally whatever you want I'm going to do it Bailey no don't why broke people should never laugh I have some bad news again oh God what is it this time I burnt down a second house how did you burn down a second house I left my tacos in the microwave too long so what did you get nothing I have nothing what why because all of this is insane I don't need that much money or 16 private jets you could have had 10 house houses like me you shouldn't even have the houses you keep burning them down maybe that's why they gave me so many whatever I'm fine uh what is it um there's no double it button anymore what do you mean there's no double it button that's the whole point of this it just says take it well finally you have to take something is it at least good yeah it's pretty good $100 billion [ __ ] what absolutely not I don't need all that money you're so boring I'd be on my way to the lambo dealership by now are you trying to go to clown college what no because you're acting like Boo Boo the [ __ ] fool take the money or I'll literally knock you unconscious and do it for you okay if you'll shut up $100 billion has been added to my account finally so what's the first thing that you're going to buy I think I'm finally going to get my mom a new car Bo you're so boring get yourself something she's been driving the same car for 20 years it's on its last leg if it still runs she doesn't need a new one right if you have so much money why don't you just give me some uh sure how much money 10 million even make a dent you have so much yeah yeah you're right um sure wait you're giving away money I want some too sure how much I want 50 million I want money ooh give me some you guys are getting money from her I want some can I have million uh-oh morning hun here's your breakfast for today Mom do you have eyes I can't eat this I didn't pick that your soulmate did oh that's disgusting can I just eat something else no you're only allowed to eat what they choose for you do you have a pencil I can borrow no Dam Dam I was just asking for a pencil sorry I'm so hangry my soulmate didn't give me any breakfast that sucks mine gave me a shochi board um is that a jar of mayo it's not even regular Mayo it's the vegan kind maybe they're a vegan I'm not eating a jar of mayo for lunch does this kid hate me can I have it I love Mayo e come on at least give me a side or something are you kidding me minced garlic bro thinks I'm a vampire you don't like garlic I eat it with a spoon you can have it it weirdo they haven't even given me any water who cares I only drink Dr Pepper I don't care about the rules I need water now no don't do that what what's going to happen you can only eat what they choose forever now your breakfast sweetie finally this Bagel isn't moldy oh just kidding it actually is I'm starving what if I just keep ignoring what they tell me to eat I wouldn't do that if I were you I wish I got a Shar coochie board sticking out your Gat for the Whistler what are you singing please stop it hurts my my ears sorry have you gotten any real food yet no they're definitely trying to kill me off good you're so annoying I think this is uncooked pasta you should try it maybe it's good no way dude I was just kidding why can't you just ignore your soulmate and eat whatever you want my mom told me not to a do you always listen to what your mommy tells you no refried beans come on M I'd slurp those up with a straw I can't do this anymore give me one of those grapes no haven't you learned anything why do it taste like up it switches your taste buds great I have to find them so that they'll give me real food before it's too late good luck you have nothing to go off of I don't know my arm is starting to look real tasty no your breakfast is here Mom this is a can of cat food yeah but there's cheddar in it you're married how did you and Dad find each other it took many many years I can't wait that long the only way to find out is to break into the factory I've never committed a crime but there's a first time for everything thanks more cat food what is wrong with you excuse me do you need something hi I'm here for a uh maintenance checkup oh go right on in that was way too easy hey what are you doing back here stay back are you threatening me with a bottle of FaZe I need to find out who my soulmate is that's what everyone says who doesn't want to do the work they haven't fed me in days why didn't you say that that's illegal looks like your soulmate is Jack Smith Jack that little B Jack I need to talk to you right now oh hey have you met my new girlfriend Macy girlfriend I've been feeding her five course meals all week so just curious what have you been giving to your soulmate then the trash from whatever my girlfriend has if you don't mind we're going to go eat some wagoo that's like $100 a piece my princess deserves the best so did you tell him no I didn't tell him I don't want him can I just like switch soulmates no dude you can't a single peanut what am I a squirrel at least it's edible this is the only real food he's given me in days you need to do something wait I should trick him seriously can't you just tell him like a normal person no hey Macy are you allergic to anything by chance I'm super allergic to peanuts oh my gosh I'm so sorry that sucks bye Jack I have something to tell you it's so important sure what's up your girlfriend just told me she loves peanut butter it's her favorite thing ever I didn't know thank you for telling me yes it worked this is the best day of my life you're insane hey I need to talk to you right now I'm kind of busy you set me up I did not set you up you told me that she loves peanut butter that's what she said she's deathly allergic to it oh I must have misheard her sorry are you insane where didd you even get that peanut butter the grocery store yeah right you were mocking me because you've always had a crush on me I do not like you Everyone likes me you are so delusional it's honestly Brave whatever that peanut butter wasn't enough I'm still hungry you should get lunch in a sec where's my food uh there's nothing there nothing I didn't even know you were allowed to do that how long can humans go for without food I think it's like 2 hours or something you just need to talk to him don't you think it's a little late for that there must be another way there is no other way with a magic potion you can turn the table so you choose what he eats are you I'm no one bye maybe I should listen to her are you insane you're probably hallucinating what is this it's the potion the old lady was talking about before why is it brown and chunky no balls you won't drink it what did you say wait dude I was kidding how did it taste oh my God that was foul wait it worked maybe the old lady was real and you weren't hallucinating I get to pick for him now that was so worth it you almost threw up soulmate eats raw fish or a hamburger you're not getting good food dog food or broccoli this one's payback for the cat food come on don't you think that's a little harsh like I haven't been starving for the past couple days you're going to make him sick good Jack could you answer number four for the class oh i e I'm so sorry my soulmate's been giving me rotten food all day dude I told you you have to give him water he was throwing up do I though yes that's like really bad no I don't think I'm done yet Jack if your soulmate is putting you in danger you can report it as an emergency then the turns will restore you can what yeah she is putting me in danger no one told me that I mean you did trust a random old grandma emergency reported [ __ ] you've dug yourself a hole this time I can't starve for the rest of my life I need my Chick-fil-A seriously that's what you're worried about just go tell him okay fine Jack you need to think about your soulmate why should I she was trying to kill me because if you keep not giving her any food she could die good I hope she does I don't want her actually I'm going to send her her lunch right now no don't pick anything why shouldn't I send my soulmate lunch because you should just give her nothing you just told me to feed her I changed my mind you know she was trying to kill you so just don't give her give her any food at all yeah you're right dude what was that I panicked okay I can help you listen Grandma last time you did this it got flipped around even worse I don't trust you and that potion tasted like [ __ ] that's what it was made of spray this on him and he'll fall in love with you this is just a bath and body work spray but it's magical Jack you should really try some of this it'll smell good on you ew stop wait you're actually really pretty oh thanks I should break up with my girlfriend and date you um I just want you to give your soulmate real food I'll do whatever you want so did it work oh it definitely worked hey guys what's up oh my God where did you come from I followed you can I have a kiss I would rather drink gasoline ew why am I so close to you what I forgot to mention it only last 10 minutes girl this is why I don't trust you e why are you so close to me because I'm your soulmate no you're not why are you lying to me right now what no I'm not lying I wouldn't be your soulmate if we were the last two people on Earth you can't ignore the soulmate say I don't care what the system says yeah cuz your plan worked out so much better than mine you got scammed by a grandma twice what is that is this a pill yeah Sherlock good one you should take it are you crazy I think he's actually trying to kill me off now you have no idea what it even is ew This is like a rotting Starbucks drink it's because you pissed him off so bad this isn't fair why do I get a shitty soulmate mine gives me steak for dinner hello ladies first of all whose grandma is this you need be on a leash I know some information no we're not doing this again it's about who your soulmate is I know who my soulmate is I forgot to tell you that he is not your soulmate ja is not your soulmate what what are you talking about you've been talking to the wrong person and you're just telling me this now well I guess it never came up Jack has a brother why does that make a difference because his brother is your soulmate but I found out that it was Jack he switched names with his brother in ordered to cover up the expulsion he got are you kidding me I do not kid Jack what is your real name uh it's actually Nathan why where is your brother uh I think he's like over there Hi I know this is weird but I think that I'm your soulmate hi I'm so sorry you must be so hungry yeah why were you sending all that stuff my brother spent all our money on food for his girlfriend that was all I had I'm so sorry no no it's totally okay I get it I would never treat my soulmate like that I'm so glad I found you me too expired May 1998 that's not that long ago wait don't use that why not it's just powder I heard that it burned a hole in one girl's face Are you seriously wearing that on your date tonight hey what's wrong with this it looks like you haven't washed it in a few days at least my clothes don't look like they're from Kmart ew did you just throw up mhm you have to cancel if you're sick but they're so hot hey I'm not going to be able to make it tonight I just threw up sorry why did my Dodge death count just just go up after I sent that text relax it was probably because of the Uber or something who do you invite over uh no one probably a Salesman oh hi I felt bad that you were sick so I brought you a drink how did you find where I live I didn't tell you I have my ways here the drink thanks take a sip I'm okay my grandma made it special for you okay I'll be sure to try it later have a good night I think my date is trying to kill me good you're such an annoying sister I think my date was trying trying to kill me good you're annoying I hope so this man is still on the loose for killing multiple women what's on the TV can you turn it up dude wasn't that your date you have to tell the police I can't I don't have any evidence of him doing anything there must be something I have to catch him myself no are you insane a little hey are you free tonight for a date send he said yes what kind of crazy person meets up with a killer hey this is such a nice restaurant I feel underdressed you are but whatever so what do you do for a living I'm an actor no big deal have I seen you in anything yeah it was tree number three in the Wizard of Oz why don't you have some water before dinner no I'm not thirsty so where do you live what is this an interrogation why do you care just curious your food looks a little Bland let me put some salt on it no I don't want salt on my food stop is your phone voice recording what no it's not yes it is I see it dude that was my phone sorry did you need that okay that might be enough brain cells for you to be normal right karma is my boyfriend I think you're just weird and en I'm just K anywhere else I be a 10 are you just speaking in song lyrics right now this sex to die for girl nobody wants to do that with your raggedy ugly dusty ass and I'm sure I've seen much hotter men but I really can't remember when hey are you calling me ugly right now I have a whole roster of hoes bleeding me dry like a goddamn vampire is it illegal to muzzle a person you're literally a freak but I'm still shaking ass in the deli they'd throw your cake out of the bakery there must be something normal in there all you lers pop your P welcome to cosmetology school today you'll be doing an ey shadow look can we use glitter sure you can use whatever you want let me see your look do you like it oh my God what the hell did you do to your face Picasso I like it you know what try some eyeliner instead it fixes everything okay and done oh of course you made it worse you don't like it no no I love it here how about a lipstick you can use that normally oh come on you look like a clown Oops why would you ever put that much on Kylie Jenner you do not look like Kylie Jenner at all she is so annoying dude who are you talking to next up is hair okay where did you even find a purple wig here this is my real hair don't be jealous I know for a fact that it's not your real hair what are you even doing you know what you're fired bch why are you the only one that's not normal every night at 8:00 p.m. you cried That You Belong With Me by by Taylor Swift how do you know that I've never told anyone I know everyone's deepest darkest Secrets it's just such a good song If you know Secrets what's mine you have a foot fetish what no I don't I don't believe this either what's my biggest secret you like to cover yourself in oil and slide around the floors like a penguin what who would do that then why is there baby oil in your backpack okay who put that there you could have easily made that up you put peanut butter on your no no do not finish that and you let the dog lick it off e I don't think I do anything that weird your guilty pleasure is to lick the floor of gas station bathrooms I would never do something like that I found a videotape of you doing it 4 hours ago what where who would like to see me I have to see this you can't read me cuz I don't have any secrets you killed both of your parents yeah and you're next the police are on their way hey [ __ ] you're afraid of trees I don't like the texture of bar what today you know everyone's fears instead of secrets yes I know what everyone fears I think that we could use this okay what's Marissa afraid of cockroaches a basic just like her oh my God who filled my locker with cockroaches what is wrong with you that's not very nice she slept with my boyfriend while we were together oh how about Mr Michaels he's afraid of his wife leaving him I don't know why she hasn't yet back me up okay Mr Michaels I swear I just saw your wife making out with the PE teacher yes I saw that too no how could she do this to me I have to go see her right now I feel like you are using me what no I'm not here have a lollipop this is a tampon close enough whatever suck on it what's my ex afraid of you oh haha you're so funny don't lie I do not have the ability to lie babe let's just get back together I'm sorry I smashed your car windows what's your weird Quirk today you're going to die in a plane accident what why would you say that you'll be sitting in seat 32A and you will get sucked out the side of the plane what the hell I am never going on a plane ever again oh good morning morning Bailey welcome to class your wife is going to murder you after you cheat on her I am not cheating on my wife how dare you yes you are and with a student how do you know that which one of you [ __ ] is sleeping with the teacher dude why are you being so weird you're going to die by falling off of a cliff that doesn't sound like me at all you hung onto the ledge to try to look cool but you actually fell oh yeah that does sound a lot like me are you feeling all right you'll die by Drowning inside of a kitty pool huh that's so embarrassing how much water was in the pool it was only 5 in of water I'm such a loser if you know how people die what about me I'm not picking anything up from you because I'm a vampire and I'm going to live forever one of my front teeth is fake yeah this one right in the front I was always a little bit of a rebel when I was young but this one time I got too crazy I loved being outside when I was a kid I had a bike scooter penny board and roller blades one summer day I was riding my scooter down the driveway as I always did and this was a very steep Drive driveway here's a representation of the slope typically I would go down the slope and then ride into the road I don't know what I was thinking but I decided it would be very fun to take a sharp turn onto the sidewalk spoiler alert it was not a good idea I had done this turn a few times before so I wasn't really worried I should have been well I go down the driveway and make this turn you can probably guess what happened I went face first into the sidewalk the impact was right here and I thought I just had a cut or something I start crying and I go inside my mom takes one look at me and notices that my tooth in the front is just missing where did it go I don't know I have a tooth now because it's the dentist fixed it funny enough you actually have to get the tooth replaced every 10 years this is my second tooth because I pulled out the first one of eating a piece of Taffy the moral of this story is don't be like me ever today is the day you have to pick a job for the rest of your life can I be a princess sure if that's an option I'll be right back don't choose anything while I'm gone okay hey Li sis what options did you get I got billionaire and then janitor you should pick genitor they do really cool things oh I'm definitely going to do that sweetheart what happened to your choices oh I already picked one how do you even make a bathroom this dirty Bailey come on now you're being moved into a new house to clean oh thank you this is the house you'll be cleaning that's a hotel no it's just a mansion hi you must be our new maid wow I didn't realize they could be so beautiful thank you excuse me your wife is right here I'm Richard and this is Carissa you'll be living in in the pay is $1,000 an hour is that all right yeah yeah that's great could I talk to you separately of course you better stay the [ __ ] away from my man I'm sorry what stay away from my man or I'll stab you I swear if you make the bathroom smell that bad again okay sorry I won't everyone can't see me or everyone can't hear me I feel like I could use being invisible for a day I am so glad Bailey's not here today I genuinely hate her me too she's so annoying thake ass [ __ ] why is this there a dick on your face what what do you mean class settle down and get that off of your face ass hat hey who said that Mary huh what the answer is 76 where is that voice coming from I'm a Genie and I'm going to get you 100% on this test really thank you so much can people still feel if I hit them ow what the [ __ ] quiet we're testing Marissa why did you answer in the shape of a Christmas tree because the magic Genie told me to do it this way wow okay how about we take you to get some help hey sis oh my God what is that smell that McDonald's bag has been in here since like 2012 I think that just burned all the hair off the inside of my nose yes I was not done being invisible bro I just matched with the finest girl on Tinder does your girlfriend Bailey know that no of course not dude why would you pour that on me it looks like I Pissed My Pants it wasn't me where did that laugh come from I can't believe the teacher thought I was crazy yesterday the genie was real ow [ __ ] why would you push me I didn't push you you little [ __ ] all right everyone today we will be having a pop quiz everyone please take out a pencil and okay who did that it's not funny no one's by the light switch we have a pretty people can't die oh my gosh I'm too young to die I can take your order when you're ready can I just get a number six of course is that all yeah uh we give out a free dum dum with each order thanks hey what can I wait weren't you here yesterday too you remember me I don't think I could forget let me guess you want to get a number six how did you know I have no idea it must have been luck and here's your dumb Dum have a good day thank you a look it's my favorite customer stop you're making me blush so what's your name if you don't mind that I'm asking it's Bailey I don't mind my name's lcas you should try the number one instead it's my favorite you know what sure enjoy the dumb D and have a good day you too I can help who's next oh hi where's Lucas he moved to a different location he doesn't work here anymore um do you think you could tell me the new location that he works at no I can't disclose that information sorry could you move if you don't mind there's people online behind you wait but what about the free d Dum with e Jor I'm sorry we don't do that here I'm never going to be able to find him again there's like 300 locations just in in my area are you excited to start your new job today yes I can't wait to meet everyone you'll be amazing don't worry thanks hi everyone welcome to your first day on the job I'll give you guys a few minutes to get to know your co-workers um excuse me have we met before I'm not sure I don't think so I'm sorry it's just that you look really familiar for some reason maybe we met before or something well anyway my name is Bailey I go by my middle name will it's nice to meet you nice to meet you okay everybody it's time to get started with the workday see you later yeah of course wo did you design that by yourself uh yeah I did it's beautiful you have a lot of talent thank you I appreciate that now that I think of that I definitely remember you from somewhere I'm sure we'll figure it out at some point hopefully this is going to bother me for the rest of the day we were lucky enough today to get a catered lunch for every single one of you they have Dum [Music] Dums um Bailey is something wrong Lucas dude I got tickets to a rock concert tonight want to come with I don't know rock music isn't really my thing G no wonder your innocence is 100% wait I'll come with you great but you're not wearing that my outfit is fine I like being comfortable you're going to regret that tickets please oh honey Disney on Ice is next door actually I'm here for the rock concert oh okay then go ahead you sure you don't want the outfit give it to me you look so cool and where did you get the boobs shut up Jessica I didn't know that you were coming oh my God hey guys lucky you we have two extra backstage passes you want them we'll take them come on guys let's meet the band uh Excuse Me Miss I think that you dropped this oh uh thank you dude that was the lead singer of the band what does the paper say it has a phone number and it says call me for a good time dude you have to call him no way that's out of my comfort zone oh no wonder your score is so high you're no fun come on let's just go watch the show wait guys I can't call him because I'm a virgin what we can't hear what you're saying I'm a virgin yeah no [ __ ] we could have guessed that ourselves you never know maybe he doesn't want to hook up with you he wrote call me for a good time what else does that mean either you call him or I'll do it for you fine I'll call him after the show thank you guys so much for the support have a great night don't look at me like that I'm going to call him hello who is this hi this is the girl from backstage oh good I was hoping that you would call come meet me in my dressing room backstage ah yeah sure oh hey come on in I wanted to talk to you hi what's up so have you ever thought about becoming a singer before I I mean I was in chorus but not really our lead singer had a family emergency and she's going to be gone for 3 weeks hang on a minute are you asking me to be in the band kind of I want you to come to our tryouts later this week your Style's cool I think you'd make a great addition okay maybe I will bro oh were you guys EES dropping yeah we had to you are definitely trying out guys I don't even know if I can sing or not do you want to get your innocence score lower or not guys I can't sing this song this has a bad word in it you're not a toddler you can swear you're freaking out about nothing that was so good okay I guess the worst they can say is no okay this is actually actually happening I'm really scared you practice for this you're going to be just fine next in line for auditions please wish me luck Sis I swear if you make the bathroom smell that bad again okay sorry I won't everyone can't see me or everyone can't hear me I feel like I could use being invisible for a day I am so glad Bailey's not here today I genuinely hate her me too she's so annoying fake ass [ __ ] why is there a dick on your face what what do you mean class settle down and get that that off of your face ass hat hey who said that Mary huh what the answer is 76 where is that voice coming from I'm a Genie and I'm going to get you 100% on this test really thank you so much can people still feel if I hit them ow what the [ __ ] quiet we're testing Marissa why did you answer in the shape of a Christmas tree because the magic Genie told me to do it this way wow okay how about we take you to get some help hey sis oh my God what is that smell that McDonald's bag has been in here since like 2012 I think that just burned all the hair off the inside of my nose yes I was not done being invisible bro I just matched with the finest girl on Tinder does your girlfriend Bailey know that no of course not dude why would you pour that on me it looks like I Pissed My Pants it wasn't me where did that laugh come from I can't believe the teacher thought I was crazy yesterday the genie was real ow [ __ ] why would you push me I didn't push you you little [ __ ] all right everyone today we will be having a pop quiz everyone please take out a pencil and okay who did that it's not funny no one's by the light switch we have a pretty people can't die I'm Too Young To Die hey who's that girl over there oh her we call her silent Beauty she can't say anything why don't we go say hi no you cannot be seen with her whatever guys hey uh my name is Ethan I really like your hair here you remind me of the purple Teletubby so let me guess you don't have any words don't worry I can speak for you then oh hell no you did not bring her over here she is not sitting with us why not she's cool no she's not she's just a weirdo wait whoa whoa whoa don't leave I'll come sit with just you instead not them I just wish you could speak up for yourself she's awful you're the only person who's ever been nice to me wa what you can speak I thought you had zero words no I have infinite what you have infinite words but everyone thinks you can't speak I convinced everybody that I didn't have any words but I do but why won't you talk to anyone if you have words do you see how mean they are I've been recording them recording them what are you going to do with it don't worry about it how long have you been doing this it started freshman year I decided I was not going to speak at all and no one ever figured you out nope they're kind of dumb you can't tell anyone that I can actually speak okay I promise I am not going to do you want to help me expose them expose them like how I know all their secrets cuz they think I can't tell anybody would we be like Bonnie and Clyde then yeah I guess you could say that this sounds like fun deal deal wait what even is your name it's Bailey that's it's pretty how are we going to do this don't worry I already have it figured out pick a number for what each number gives you a different amount of prize money so I don't know what I'm going to get no that's the whole point it's a gamble well two is my favorite 69s I can't even buy anything with that that sucks I got $300 it's fine I bet I'll have better luck next time is that a Louis Vuitton bag yeah I bought it with the money that I won this morning so did you buy anything good I don't need to buy anything I wouldn't be able to live without my Chanel bags let's see if I do any better this time $3 wow that's tragic aren't you upset about it no I'm fine I only got $11,000 this morning I got 3,000 really that's still a lot of money yeah but it could have been more it's not fair you should be grateful that you got any everyone is about to be the last round okay just going to go directly in the middle um are you okay what did you get nothing play hot seat for a million dollar dude you have to play me and all my friends are what does that even mean it gives you a question and you have to answer within 30 seconds what if I don't want to answer it then you're out and you don't get the money just play fine you're right what's my favorite color seriously is this what it's going to be they get harder as we go on pink wa that's a quick change of pace well what is it okay when I was seven I ran over a mom's leg with my bike and then I left her there you're the one who broke Miss cat's leg have you ever lied to your parents oh yeah definitely I'm sorry Bailey did you just say that you've lied to us what no I didn't who was the last person you kissed don't be shy tell us who it was it was Michelle [ __ ] like my best friend Michelle seriously these are not bad at all okay but don't speak too soon wao I told you they were going to get worse no of course I have never killed someone oh I have what dude relax I was just kidding are you sure what the [ __ ] do you mean am I sure yes have you ever punched someone in the face oh absolutely I punched a lot of people when did you do that you don't know everything about me you better watch out no I have never punched somebody do you know why your mom is single yeah her ex-husband cheated on her yeah duh that's exactly what happened do you know what this is talking about no I don't know anything I don't know what you're talking about no I don't know who with I think we should just drop out of the game it's too much why are you you getting suspicious all of a sudden I'm not being suspicious what did you know that your mom cheated with the pool boy [ __ ] you weren't supposed to know no I didn't know that seriously let's just quit sis what does this mean I told you I have no clue you definitely know something I didn't even know that the pool boy was dead that's because he's not he's definitely alive still no I don't know how he died Bailey you need to stop playing this game now just don't answer the next question really cuz I don't think I'm done yet seriously I'm warning you where was I on June 17th um I don't know oh right that's when mom made me go to the community pool instead of ours dude come on it's not funny anymore stop someone killed him I have to find out the truth you are going to regret this I don't know who killed the pool boy well [ __ ] I told you to stop how did you only get one brain cell today it's like there's no thoughts in your head do you just think of Sparkles and rainbows yes Bailey you got a zero on your test you just wrote slave for every answer on this one you didn't even write anything you just drew a smiley face you look so pale here put on some blush um what are you doing that is definitely not how you're supposed to use it it goes on your face you know what yeah you're doing great sweetie try this lip gloss instead okay no you just have to twist to open it none of these things things are edible they're for your face not your teeth you need to wipe that off drink this to get it off your teeth what the [ __ ] you're supposed to drink it out of the top okay what please please stop doing that I will be right back don't do anything stupid while I'm gone okay what who gave her a lighter she lit her hair on fire you got two brain cells it doesn't look like the second one is doing much hey Bailey you have to listen to everything I say today okay okay guys this is my life-size Malibu Barbie doll give them away oh my God I want one she even has some signature slogans roast beef I don't think that's one of them how about we try a different phrase are you my daddy sorry she must be malfunctioning or something let's just try a nice normal one boobies okay seriously what are we fourth graders H she can do some tricks too show them um why is she making that face ew what the [ __ ] so if she's like a robot doll she must be smart what's the capital of the US Barbie land um no that's not the capital Mommy milkers why is she looking at me like that I will kill your entire family finally you got brain cells today the Eiffel Tower has 1,710 steps [ __ ] what watching TV Burns 10% more calories than sleeping wait a second tell me another fun fact flamingos can only eat with their heads upside down you're like a walking encyclopedia follow me right now that sounds delightful first to guess how many Jelly Beans Are in this Ferrara gets to keep it so how many jelly beans are inside the car 1,425 789 that's exactly right enjoy your new Ferrari wait can you do my homework too done how did you finish that in 2 seconds huh what else do you know a pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes okay maybe let's not repeat that one how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop 364 this is so cool you know everything human corpses can continue to move for a year after after death okay someone turn her off now you can't be stupid again today you have to lead us in the debate those seven brain cells better do the work bro she cannot compete she's as smart as a toenail hey Bailey what you doing magic yeah we're screwed I'd like both parties to present themselves to everyone Hi I enjoy sleeping and eating dude what this is going to be such an easy win I love pineapple on Pizza give me your thoughts on saving the economy I believe we should replace currency with with selfies interesting take how would that work sexy selfies are worth more than ugly selfies wow that's brilliant if you could elect one person to become president who would it be Taylor Swift good job that was the only right answer Bailey has won the debate for her team this has got to be a prank where are the cameras oh of course you would get 69 brain cells we have to go come on slay Bailey you're giving a tour to the Freshman today give me one Margarita I'mma open my legs let's not encour encourage the Freshman to do that is our tour guide okay why is she biting a makeup brush carrot and cottage cheese I'm scared to go to high school because I'm ugly and everyone bullies me that's so real aren't you supposed to tell me it'll be better does that mean you think I'm ugly du what you don't have to yell so does this school have a mascot I'm just Ken sweet I want a Mojo Dojo Casa house does everyone in high school act like this Bailey I'm going to have to revoke your position as tour guide this is so sick and [ __ ] twisted um what is that a crystal okay please leave I don't want to go to high school did she just dab hey yo she got the moves Mom can you come pick me up yes finally you're smart again a cockroach has the ability to live for one year without its head okay anyway come with me I have an idea welcome to Jeopardy today's contestants are Bailey and Steve what do you call a group of giraffes what is a tower yes that's correct what is the largest type of a frog what is a Goliath frog that is also correct what is the name of the dragon that helps mul who is Mushu looks like we have a winner I didn't even get to answer anything congratulations Bailey you won $2 million the dollar bill was invented in 1862 do you know which lottery ticket is the winning one that one oh my God you're right we just won the jackpot of $10 million it's like you're a robot Scotland chose the Unicorn as its national animal uh that's cool I guess humans spend an average of 1 year on on the toilet in their lifetime ew how are you so smart but so stupid at the same time fro Loops are all the same flavor despite their different colors what my whole life has been a lie four brain cells are you kidding me you're basically a toddler spaghetti this is going to be a long day is there even like a single thought behind those eyes I smell like beef okay so the answer is no Bailey put the fire down right now bad bad girl oh my God please please do not cry it's fine I'm sorry okay everyone will need to draw a portrait for their art final lay the house down everyone please show me uh Bailey you literally made handsome Squidward see why don't you try again and just draw the first thing that comes to your mind right now murder okay maybe not that seriously how do you even keep getting a lighter put it down o you're smart can you please take my midterm for me I'm going to fail in 5 years you're going to start balding um what how do you know that I know everything in the universe like you can see into the future am I finally going to get a boyfriend no but you will adopt 13 cats are you kidding me I don't want to die alone please tell me that you're lying I'm incapable of lying everyone I'm selling psychic readings for $20 am I going to have my dream job in 5 years you'll be living in your parents basement with a receding hairline my hairline can't recede I already have a big forehead can you tell me something cool about the future Taylor Swift will be elected president in 2030 sweet come is my boyfriend what kind of job am I going to have you'll go fire on Tik Tok for using Gorilla Glue to glue a wig down wait that's such a good idea it'll saay forever then what about me where will I be you'll be dead what you've got to be kidding why would you say that I'm just kidding I thought that you couldn't lie or am I Bailey thank gosh you're here is there a tampon in your nose take that out right now put on this apron and get to work we need you CH cha cha chaa stop messing around put your apron on the right way is butter a carb I'm losing brain cells just talking to you hi can I please get an iced latte I like apples and bananas wow that's great um are you going to make my coffee I don't want that you just took a sip out of it oh sorry dude what the [ __ ] do you guys have any Baristas that aren't insane could I get a number six please are we even real okay I came here for food not an existential crisis yummy yummy is this a joke are you trying to poison me right now because I will call corpit on you let me speak to your manager okay 1 second what are you doing hi I'm the manager oh you think you're so funny huh I'm going to give you guys one star on Yelp you are acting like a child an ugly pimply [ __ ] hello finally are you going to be normal today I'm Peppa Pig and this is Daddy Pig nope you're still weird today you're babysitting the neighbor kids you can take a ride on my big green tractor I feel so sorry for them hey what are you holding you put this up your okay let's not tell the kids that where' the baby come from I don't know I looked up pictures on Google and it was really scary what's 2 + 2 oh six I'm not good at math but I definitely don't think it's six can you get me a drink I'm thirsty um that's peanut butter at this point I feel like I'm babysitting you can we play Barbies together no no that is not how you play with a Barbie you have to be nice to her oh my God Mom can you please come home right now I'm so scared how do you even even get the Barbie to stay like that Abracadabra I think your six brain cells are just doing the cotton I Joe in there hello and welcome to your Harvard interview hola Mio Bailey you're bilingual that's amazing I seem to have lost my pen do you have one I could borrow how did you fit a lamp into your bag you're a wizard Harry and you have a sense of humor great you are K we love people that support mental health tell me something about yourself bill bill bill bill bill NY the science Sky oh my gosh I'm a huge bill NY fan too slugs are just divorced snails I've never thought about it that way it's true do you have any other talents I want to ride I want to ride horseback riding I love it of course you do what is your greatest strength gaslighting persuasive we would love to offer you a spot at Harvard in the fall do you want to play mermaids I've been waiting for that question my whole life I don't exist um what what are you doing next oh hi could I have a let me take a guess you want the number three again yes how did you know that you come in here every day and get the same thing I'm a woman of habit you should really Branch out and try something new number four is great you know what fine I'll take number four instead I didn't catch your name I didn't get yours either it's Jake nice to meet you Jake miss your order is ready oh I haven't even ordered yet it's you again I already made you a number three maybe I was going to order something else today you weren't though were you you don't even know my name so what did you put on the bag I put Jane D that's what you do for someone you don't know hey Mom I got your food again you got me the number three right I didn't like that number four yes of course I got your favorite have you been seeing any of the news channels about what there's a killer on the loose in our town he's a handsome young man who calls his victims Jane Doe I heard that he's dangerous so stay away from handsome young men okay I won't talk to any handsome suspicious men okay great your total today is 549 I only have a five I'm sorry that's not enough I can pay for it for you hey wait you're the guy from the cafe and you're the Myst serious Jane Doe who won't tell me your name yeah that's me I can't let you buy this for me it's overpriced Anyway come on it's not that big of a deal it's only $5 I got you thanks are you like stalking me or something what no why why would you say that how did you find me here it's a small town there's only so many places to go I got to get going wait what's up do you want to hang out sometime I would love to hang out are you uh free tonight I'm free tonight too that sounds great awesome I'll pick you up at 7:00 how did you only get one brain cell today it's like there's no thoughts in your head do you just think of Sparkles and rainbows yes Bailey you got a zero on your test you just wrote slave for every answer on this one you didn't even write anything you just drew a smiley face you look so pale here put on some blush um what are you doing that is definitely not how you're supposed to use it it goes on your face you know what yeah you're doing great sweetie try this lip gloss instead okay no you just have to twist to to open it none of these things are edible they're for your face not your teeth you need to wipe that off drink this to get it off your teeth what the [ __ ] you're supposed to drink it out of the top okay what please please stop doing that I will be right back don't do anything stupid while I'm gone okay what who gave her a lighter she lit her hair on fire you got two brain cells it doesn't look like the second one is doing much hey Bailey you have to listen to everything I say today okay okay guys this is my life-size Malibu Barbie doll give them a away oh my God I want one she even has some signature slogans roast beef I don't think that's one of them how about we try a different phrase are you my daddy sorry she must be malfunctioning or something let's just try a nice normal one boobies okay seriously what are we fourth graders H she can do some tricks too show them um why is she making that face ew what the [ __ ] so if she's like a robot dog she must be smart what's the capital of the US Barbie land um no that's not the capital Mommy milkers why is she looking at me like that I will kill your entire family finally you got brain cells today the Eiffel Tower has 1,710 steps [ __ ] what watching TV Burns 10% more calories than sleeping wait a second tell me another fun fact flamingos can only eat with their heads upside down you're like a walking encyclopedia follow me right now that sounds Delight first to guess how many jelly beans are in this Ferrara gets to keep it so how many jelly beans are inside the car 1,425 789 that's exactly right enjoy your new Ferrari wait can you do my homework too done how did you finish that in 2 seconds huh what else do you know a pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes okay maybe let's not repeat that one how many licks is it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop 364 this is so cool you know everything human fores can continue to move for a year after death okay someone turn her off now you can't be stupid again today you have to lead us in the debate those seven brain cells better do the work bro she cannot compete she's as smart as a toenail hey Bailey what you doing magic yeah we're screwed I'd like both parties to present themselves to everyone Hi I enjoy sleeping and eating dude what this is going to be such an easy win I love pineapple on Pizza give me your thoughts on saving the economy I believe we should replace currency with selfies interesting take how would that work sexy selfies are worth more than ugly selfies wow that's brilliant if you could elect one person to become president who would it be Taylor Swift good job that was the only right answer Bailey has won the debate for her team this has got to be a prank where are the cameras oh of course you would get 69 brain cells we have to go come on slay Bailey you're giving a tour to the Freshman today give me one margarita I'mma open my legs let's not encourage the Freshman to do that is our tour guide okay why is she biting a makeup brush carrot and cottage cheese I'm scared to go to high school because I'm ugly and everyone bullies me that's so real aren't you supposed to tell me it'll be better does that mean you think I'm ugly du what you don't have to yell so does this school have a mascot I'm just Ken sweet I want a Mojo Dojo Casa house does everyone in high school act like this Bailey I'm going to have to revoke your position as tour guide this is so sick and [ __ ] twisted um what is that a crystal okay please leave I don't want to go to high school did she just dab hey yo she got the moves Mom can you come pick me up yes finally you're smart again a cockroach has the ability to live for one year without its head okay anyway come with me I have an idea welcome to Jeopardy today's contestants are Bailey and Steve what do you call a group of giraffes what is a tower yes that's correct what is the largest type of frog what is a Goliath frog that is also correct what is the name of the dragon that helps mul who is Mushu looks like we have a winner I didn't even get to answer anything congratulations Bailey you won $2 million the dollar bill was invented in 1862 do you know which lottery ticket is the winning one that one oh my God you're right we just won the jackpot of $10 million it's like you're a robot Scotland chose the Unicorn as its national animal uh that's cool I guess humans spend an average of one year on the toilet in their lifetime ew how are you so smart but so stupid at the same time fro Loops are all the same flavor despite their different colors what my whole life has been a lie four brain cells are you kidding me you're basically a toddler spaghetti this is going to be a long day is there even like a single thought behind those eyes I smell like beef okay so the answer is no Bailey put the fire down right now bad bad girl oh my God please please do not cry it's fine I'm sorry okay everyone will need to draw a portrait for their art final slay the house down everyone please show me uh Bailey you literally made handsome Squidward see why don't you try again and just draw the first thing that comes to your mind right now murder okay maybe not that seriously how do you even keep getting a lighter put it down oh you're smart can you please take my midterm for me I'm going to fail in 5 years you're going to start balding um what how do you know that I know everything in the universe like you can see into the future am I finally going to get a boyfriend no but you will adopt 13 cats are you kidding me I don't want to die alone please tell me that you're lying I'm incapable of lying everyone I'm selling psychic readings for $20 am I going to have my dream job in 5 years you'll be living in your parents basement with a receding hairline my hairline can't recede I already have a big forehead can you tell me something cool about the future Taylor Swift will be elected president in 2030 sweet come is my boyfriend what kind of what kind of job am I going to have you'll go viral on Tik Tok for using Gorilla Glue to glue a wig down wait that's such a good idea it'll saay forever then what about me where will I be you'll be dead what you've got to be kidding why would you say that I'm just kidding I thought that you couldn't lie or am I Bailey thank gosh you're here is there a tampon in your nose take that out right now put on this apron and get to work we need you cha cha cha cha stop messing around put your apron on the right way is butter a carb I'm losing brain cells just talking to you hi can I please get an iced latte I like apples and bananas wow that's great um are you going to make my coffee I don't want that you just took a sip out of it oh sorry dude what the [ __ ] do you guys have any Baristas that aren't insane could I get a number six please are we even real okay I came here for food not an existential crisis yummy yummy is this a joke are you trying to poison me right now because I will call corporate on you let me speak to your manager okay one second what are you doing hi I'm the manager oh you think you're so funny huh I'm going to give you guys one star on Yelp you are acting like a child an ugly pimply [ __ ] hello finally are you going to be normal today I'm Peppa Pig and this is Daddy Pig nope you're still weird today you're babysitting the neighbor kids you can take a ride on my big green tractor I feel so sorry for them hey what are you holding you put this up your okay let's not tell the kids that where did the babies come from I don't know I looked up pictures on Google and it was really scary what's 2+ two oh six I'm not good at math but I definitely don't think it's six can you get me a drink I'm thirsty um that's peanut butter at this point I feel like I'm babysitting you can we play Barbies together no no that is not how you play with a Barbie you have to be nice to her oh my God Mom can you please come home right now I'm so scared how'd you even get the Barbie to stay like that Abracadabra I think your six brain cells are just doing the cotton ey Joe in there hello and welcome to your Harvard interview H Mio Bailey you're bilingual that's amazing I seem to have lost my pen do you have one I could borrow how did you fit a lamp into your bag you're a wizard Harry and you have a sense of humor great you are K we love people that support mental health tell me something about yourself bill bill bill bill bill n the Science Guy oh my gosh I'm a huge bill KNE fan too slugs are just divorced snails I've never thought about it that way it's true do you have any other talents I want to ride I want to ride horseback riding I love it of course you do what is your greatest strength gaslighting persuasive we would love to offer you a spot at Harvard in the fall do you want to play mermaids I've been waiting for that question my whole life I don't exist um what what are you doing you have to keep blinking girl I'm trying I'm kind of forgetting how to Blink what how many did you get two you cannot let them run out hey Bailey look at me no why you're just staring at the wall I know you're going to make me try to Blink and I literally have two so don't do it class today for home we're going to be cutting up some onions are you kidding me can I opt out of this activity no it's a mandatory grade I feel sick fine okay thank you honey what's wrong you look like a deer in headlights have any blinks you need to take some eye drops I can't take eye drops those will make me blink your eyes are irritated you need to hey wait I'll give you some blinks I have a lot oh my gosh thank you okay I think they're transferring right now oh my gosh you're a lifesaver does this mean I can get your number now that was fast and forward why are you still making that face what face shocked you have blinks oh I forgot you almost ran out of blink be careful oh it's fine no one even knows what happens when you run out um I do you die what I cannot believe that you didn't know how do you know that I thought it was obvious that everyone knew whatever you do don't run out of blink you're freaking me out 10 9 8 guys what's going on in here Billy's about to use all of his blinks at once stop don't do it annoying [ __ ] if you run out of blinks you die what I only have five BLS left wait guys don't panic everyone calm down crying will use up your blinks uhoh we're all going to die guys please there must be another way we can just not blink what if everyone just kept their eyes closed how is everyone going to see if our eyes are shut it's better than Totally Running Out of blinks there is no way this is going to work okay open your eyes how many blinks did you lose it only went down one that means it works everybody close your eyes everyone's just going to start running into the walls well it's better than everybody dying huh I guess so I think that it's this Wick oh that looked like it hurt everyone we need your attention now I wonder what this is about you don't die when you run out of blinks you just can't see so you're aive what no I didn't know but you told me that haha sorry I lied April fools it's not even April get her guys please it was a mistake I can take your order when you're ready can I just get a number six of course is that all yeah uh we give out a free dum dum with each order thanks hey what can I wait weren't you here yesterday too you remember me I don't think I could forget let me guess you want to get a number six how did you know I have no idea it must have been luck and here's your dum dum have a good day thank you a look it's my favorite customer stop you're making me blush so what's your name if you don't mind that I'm asking it's Bailey I don't mind my name's Lucas you should try the number one instead it's my favorite you know what sure enjoy the Dum Dum and have a good day you too I can help who's next oh hi hi where's Lucas he moved to a different location he doesn't work here anymore um do you think you could tell me the new location that he works at no I can't disclose that information sorry could you move if you don't mind there's people online behind you wait but what about the free dum dum with e Jor I'm sorry we don't do that here I'm never going to be able to find him again there's like 300 locations just in my area are you excited to start your new job today yes I can't wait to meet everyone you'll be amazing don't worry thanks hi everyone welcome to your first day on the job I'll give you guys a few minutes to get to know your co-workers um excuse me have we met before I'm not sure I don't think so I'm sorry it's just that you look really familiar for some reason maybe we met before or something well anyway my name is Bailey I go by my middle name will it's nice to meet you nice to meet you okay everybody it's time to get started with the workday see you later yeah of course whoa did you design that by yourself uh yeah I did it's beautiful you have a lot of talent thank you I appreciate that now that I think of it I definitely remember you from somewhere I'm sure we'll figure it out at some point hopefully this is going to bother me for the rest of the day we were lucky enough today to get a cater lunch for every single one of you they have Dum [Music] Dums um Bailey is something wrong Lucas no we can't just print more money that's not how it works but why not I want to be rich I can pause time or I can teleport what I want to do both of those I know what I should do [ __ ] I'm going to be so late time to see if this works I made it and what time to spare whoa Bailey where did you come from what do you mean I've been here the whole time you definitely weren't nope I was here it's like you appeared out of thin air you guys are all crazy I was literally sitting here the entire time anyway we can't be friends with you anymore your outfit totally clashes with ours what are you guys sixth graders looks like someone needs a haircut I didn't mean to cut off this much why are you missing a chunk of hair Bailey did you cut my hair no I did not you're literally holding it oops She's A Freak she probably has like a hair fet fish now you can be funny with no pants on it's so small ew Josh why did you pull your pants out why does it look like that it looks like a shrimp today I'm going to try to do a full face of makeup using this filter I do not have a mirror in front of me so we're just going to be going off of this I don't know if this Foundation is going to be able to cover up my Sick Beard it's even worse if I turn my head up I got 3 hours of sleep last night so I need this honestly the cheekbones are already snatched just now notice that the nose is lopsided okay something in my tooth has that been there the whole time time I'm putting on a lot cuz I want to be blushing to the gods can't forget the nose oh I fear that may have been too much why did I just notice that there are no eyebrows yes we will not be doing my eyebrows at all the beard is transferring onto my hand they're coming for me it won't even line up oh no go filler in I don't know what that looks like round number two oh why is it glitching you think this lip color will go with my beard why are they lopsided this is the best way to do it what happened here okay guys I think that it's time for the reveal in three 2 one I'm processing both of these wings are just tragic eyebrows are also throwing me off I definitely made my lips uneven I'm gonna have to go fix this but let me know which filter I should try next I don't know why I do this to myself but let's do makeup with this filter on if you didn't believe that I'm not using an extra mirror I am so committed to the bit I need more Foundation because my head is so big right now bombastic side I is my body completely normal do you guys think the Contour is going to help no such thing as too much blush I'm going to need a lot for this nose got to set it because I'm greasier than a McDonald's chicken I want to have contoured like Kim K can't even tell what I'm doing need to fix the front make sure they stay up all day I don't know if that's good or not want so much blush that looks like Barbie threw up on me and now I will be a disco ball oh my God my nose uh I will never forget my freckles oh no why does my finger look like that I have to do eyeliner this is not going to go well for me I feel like that looks kind of good side is way harder this one's definitely not as good this lipstick smells like a crayon it's giving fish from fishtails I think that was everything okay reveal in 3 2 1 okay hang on it's not that bad gets a lot worse if we zoom in though look at that eyebrow how did I even do that but like from a distance it's kind of good let me know which filter I should do next is this some kind of joke I'm not being called ugly forever decline sis I already accepted my name the first one really what was it Sandra isn't that pretty like that girl from Greece that's so cute my first one was ugly oh well you accepted it right no why would I accept it I mean it's true you are ugly be careful don't run out of choices please I'm sure the next one's going to be better than that anything is another one short stuff I'm not even that short I'm fact three the third one better be good hey Mom do you know what happens when you run out of name choices we don't know some people think that you die oh uh why are you asking I've already declined two of them they were terrible you cannot decline the third one whatever you do please don't be fat please idiot my last one cannot be idiot I can't take that this name is your final option you have to accept it I don't want to be called idiot for the rest of my life you really don't have a choice at this point well what really happens when you run out of names no one's ever run out but you could die that seems a little dramatic I don't think you should be the one to find out I'm going to do it please don't kill me I'm okay good what happened with your name um hello what happened to the name it picked one for me instead your reaction's making me think it's not good it says car accident that's not even a name there's got to be some way I can change that right not that I know of car accident become nameless you should just become nameless I don't know if I want to have no name forever well what is the other option being called car accident there has got to be some way I can change it myself I know where you can go bro where did you come from don't worry about that you need to go to this address alone you want me to pull up to a random sketchy address alone I promise they can change your name for you okay I'll do it at the door the password is cheese cheese really okay um oh hello what's the password uh cheese oh yes come right this way so what do you want I need to change my name like really badly I can do that but you're going to have to pay pay like how much money no not with money the only way to get a new name is to steal one from someone you know what my mouth tastes like salmon who eats fish for breakfast oh my God I don't think that's why are you chugging water like a toddler are you okay no I think my soulmate's doing something that I really don't want to be a part of what could they possibly be doing never mind I thought this was Cherry why does it taste alcoholic who does shots at 2:00 p.m. bro get a grip oh my please don't tell me that was the devil's lettuce is my soulmate Chuck Bass I'm so confused your soulmate is really putting you through it huh I am going through it and I'm afraid of what's next my soulmate just ate Mochi it was so good oh this one's really weird it tastes like um like a metal a little bit why would they eat metal oh my God sis did you forget to flush the toilet again it stinks she's not even home what is that do they live on a a farm oh why does it smell like that I'm just going to do this for the rest of the day hey guys what's up dude why are you plugging your nose like that you don't want to know you can't just hold your nose for the rest of the day yes I can and I will I won't talk to you if you keep doing that I regretted that immediately what are you freaking out about it smells like pee it's not your soulmate's fault they're probably just walking outside but I have to deal with it too not the fish again oh I know what they're doing they're a freak what the f I can't do this anymore why is it spicy you are being so dramatic I'm going to throw up headphones what I don't want these wait do these let me hear what my soulmate is hearing I love being nosy the total today for your hemorrhoid cream is 100 I don't think I was supposed to hear that conversation maybe it'll be better this time bro did you ever get that crazy rash on your ass figured out I think I'm going to put these away my soulmate was looking at engagement rings for me an engagement ring but you haven't even met yet I heard him tell the seller he was buying it for his soulmate so has your soulmate said anything fun I don't know I haven't put them on yet are you crazy put them on right now you have to hear what they're doing okay oh yeah baby that's the spot ah what what were they saying is it bad I'm got to go I'm going to go wash out my ears with bleach no the capital of the US is not the United Kingdom then why do they both have United in the name I can read people's minds or people can read my mind [ __ ] that's an easy Choice hey babe oh hey God I love boobs boobs boobs boobs uh is something wrong oh no nothing's wrong have you done something different to your hair today I did not brush it this morning it looks like a bird's living in it excuse me what I said that it looks good yeah thanks I wonder what Miss Matthews is thinking about Miss Matthews I was wondering what I got on my last test I'm just a freak you got a 4% this is not funny Bailey it wasn't a laugh it was a sneeze you see how do I tell my girlfriend I got her sister pregnant you got my sister pregnant what how did you know that I'm a psychic I sense that you're a [ __ ] ass oh no oh no did you eat my leftovers when I told you not to M so yummy you're so annoying I told you I was going to eat that gobble gobble what are you a turkey you are not funny stop what is wrong with you Gizzy gobbler did you just call me a Gizzy gobler okay blink if you need help ooh too spicy have you blinked at all today thank you for the gift am I in a simulation right now Gizzy gobler please please stop calling me that anything but that why why are you moving your arms like that is that a dumb [ __ ] excuse me I am not are you being possessed or something M I love ice cream okay that's it I'm calling the police right now play hot seat for a million dollar dude you have to play me and all my friends are what does that even mean it gives you a question and you have to answer within 30 seconds what if I don't want to answer it then you're out and you don't get the money just play fine you're right what's my favorite color seriously is this what it's going to be they get harder as we go on pink wo that's a quick change of pace well what is it okay when I was seven I ran over a mom's leg with my bike and then I left her there you're the one who broke Miss cat's leg have you ever lied to your parents oh yeah definitely I'm sorry Bailey did you just say that you've lied to us what no I didn't who was the last person you kissed don't be shy tell us who it was it was Michelle [ __ ] like my best friend Michelle seriously these are not bad at all okay but don't speak too soon wao I told you they were going to get worse no of course I have never killed someone oh I have what dude relax I was just kidding are you sure what the [ __ ] do you mean am I sure yes have you ever punched someone in the face oh absolutely I punched a lot of people when did you do that you don't know everything about me you better watch out no I have never punched somebody do you know why your mom is single yeah her ex-husband cheated on her yeah du that's exactly what happened do you know what this is talking about no I don't know anything I don't know what you're talking about no I don't know who with I think we should just drop out of the game it's too much why are you getting suspicious all of a sudden I'm not being suspicious what did you know that your mom cheated with the pool boy [ __ ] you weren't supposed to know no I didn't know that seriously let's just quit sis what does this mean I told you I have no clue you definitely know something I didn't even know that the pool boy was dead that's because he's not he's definitely alive still no I don't know how he died Bailey you need to stop playing this game now just don't answer the next question really cuz I don't think I'm done yet seriously I'm warning you where was I on June 17th um I don't know oh right that's when mom made me go to the community pool instead of ours dude come on it's not funny anymore stop someone killed him I have to find out the truth you are going to regret this I don't know who killed the pool boy well [ __ ] I told you to stop no choose a life to live I don't think I should get on the submarine so princess it is my princess or a cupcake in this dress Princess come on we need to get going now to what your speech of course in front of the whole Kingdom I can't I think I'm sick don't be foolish let's go first you start out with your song and then you give the speech it's so simple please welcome princess be hello everyone I would like to start us off with a song wake up in the morning feeling like P did grab my I'm talking okay okay that's quite enough and that will be all for the song portion now give them your announcement yes everyone the announcement is that I'm pregnant no no oh my God that's not the announcement what is wrong with you right now I told you I wasn't feeling very well you have made this whole Kingdom a laughing stock I don't think I'm cut out to be a princess an artist or a p star I don't know what that means artist it is hi are you the artist for today I think so great you'll be doing a portrait of my daughter yeah I can definitely do that you are so pretty we'll be paying you $100,000 for this piece okay let's [Music] begin voila I am all done amazing let me see it okay here you go what the [ __ ] is that what do you mean I got all the details and everything even the bracelet you're wearing absolutely not it looks like a kindergartener did it do it again fine I'll do it again is this one more close to your liking what is wrong with you you're fired so can't believe that girl didn't like my painting a high school teacher or an assassin I don't think I can handle 30 high schoolers let's hope that I have good aim sick I look cool at this time hey we have a very important job for you me yes you must kill this 27-year-old CEO but he didn't do anything wrong it doesn't matter a rival company paid us to kill him take this all you have to do is dump it in his drink the payout for this job is $1 million okay I'm not even old enough to go into a bar ma'am ID please I'm here for the city safety inspection oh I am so sorry about that ma'am come right in thank you that should not have been that easy hi it's is this seat taken no no it's not would you actually mind watching this drink while I go to the bathroom of course it would be no problem hey I'm back how about we do a cheers to meeting tonight yeah cheers wait a second your brain cells must be at Disneyland Yeehaw country Bailey unlocked we're meeting mom's boyfriend today so you can't be weird Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy we're [ __ ] hey my name is Mt nice to meet you that was the cringiest thing ever I'm happy to be here stranger danger ow you punched me in the face it was a ghost we just watched you do it okay guys how about we just eat dinner instead Behold The Magic of the spork dude what we don't even own a spork ooh shiny okay are you kidding it's not for your hair you use it to eat who am I kidding you're as smart as a toenail it doesn't taste very good every time I interact with you I think I lose 15 brain cells um what the hell is on top of your head head where did you get that the depths of Hell okay I think I have to go home you got infinite brain cells that is not fair I'm sorry please take these flowers as a gift you didn't have those 1 second ago where' they come from I can make anything appear out of thin air would you like something else yeah can I have a Chanel bag here you go one Chanel bag this is the coolest thing ever hey wait could you give me5 billion no I cannot create money hi we'd like to return this bag for cash okay you'll be getting back 4,100 but we did not actually buy shut the [ __ ] up right now right now never mind can you get me a laptop I already have one how did you know I wanted it I can also read mine are you kidding me what am I thinking about right now the Taco Bell Mexican pizza that sounds so good right now hey could you like spawn me and a boyfriend no that would be a miracle and I cannot do that [ __ ] can you at least try to spawn me a boyfriend sure thing there you go are you kidding me that's a frog I can only give you someone equally as attractive as you are are you calling me ugly right now precisely okay then make me beautiful of course Tada dude I look like handsome Squidward sorry you did not specify who would want to look like this how much money is in my bank account you have $420 okay damn you don't need to say it that loudly can you give me a drink I'm thirsty here you go no that's ant killer are you trying to tell me to drink it drink up [ __ ] okay now you're just starting to scare me what's my crush thinking about hooking up with a teacher I knew he was too friendly with the Spanish teacher oh hey Bailey uh what are you doing are we about to eat a five course meal or something hungies ew what the [ __ ] that was so cringy feed me girl you are old bring your own lunch to school do you even have anything with you why do you have that here put it down alcohol is cool but have you ever had someone care about you me neither pass the bottle you must have something is that toilet paper are you serious you're cute jeans please anything edible is that a bra ew who is that your mom's oh you're so funny don't put it on your head you don't know where that bra has been girl back I say back somebody sedate her finally at least you have a drink who the hell drinks like that is this like a glitch in The Matrix or something because I don't understand can you just be normal uh excuse you

Channel: vanklomk

Views: 1,689,781

Keywords: Cake Storytime, Text To Speech, storytime, asmr, text to speech, cakestorytime, asmr cake, cake storytime tiktokCake Storytime, slime storytime

Id: DGT9bumbmAE

Length: 77min 21sec (4641 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 17 2023