>> A STORY IN FIVE WORDS. [APPLAUSE] >> Greg: THIS STORY IN FIVE WORDS, "MEN HATES HIS SECRET SANTA." JOE, A CHRISTMAS LOVING EMPLOYEE -- THE WORST -- WENT ALL OUT FOR SECRET SANTA THIS YEAR BUT WAS STARTLED TO DISCOVER THE GIFT FOR HIM WAS A CHEAP BOX OF CHOCOLATES. WITHOUT THE EX-LAX. HE NOW SAYS HE'LL NEVER PARTICIPATE IN SECRET SANTA AGAIN. DO YOU THINK THIS IS AN OVERREACTION? >> Joe: A LITTLE BIT, FOR A GROWN MAN, TO BE THAT MAD ABOUT SECRET SANTA. I FIND THERE IS A FOOLPROOF WAY TO DO IT. I WAIT UNTIL THE PERSON LEAVES AND TAKE SOMETHING FROM THEIR DESK AND WRAP IT UP. [LAUGHTER] THEN WHEN THEY OPEN IT AND SAY, "I THINK THIS IS MINE," I SAY, "I KNEW YOU WOULD WANT SOMETHING LIKE THAT." >> Greg: VERY GOOD. TYRUS, THIS GUY -- >> Tyrus: HE'S A THOUSAND PERCENT CORRECT, GREG. WITH HIM IN SPIRIT. I KNOW HIS PAIN. DON'T LAUGH, THIS IS ABOUT YOU, TOO. LET ME TALK TO MY REAL FRIENDS. [LAUGHTER] SECRET SANTA, I PARTICIPATED THIS YEAR. I HAD ONE OF OUR PRODUCERS. I KNEW HE LIKED HORROR MOVIES SO I WENT OUT AND I GOT HIM A BOOK ABOUT HORROR MOVIES. IT WAS A PHENOMENAL BOOK. YOU SAW IT, IT WAS RIVETING. YOU KNOW WHAT MY SECRET SANTA GOT ME? GUESS WHAT? A BAG OF CANDY, AND IT WASN'T THE COOL KIND OF CANDY, IT WAS LIKE THE HERSHEY'S THAT NOBODY WANTS. NO PEANUTS IN THEM, AND YOU HAVE TO OPEN EACH ONE UP INDIVIDUALLY. >> Greg: I HATE THAT! >> Tyrus: BOO THAT MAN! I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHO HE IS, BUT HIS NAME WAS JOE, BUT NOT THIS JOE. ON TOP OF THAT OUTRAGE, APPARENTLY THE WHOLE "GUTFELD!" CREW GOT CHEESE BOXES! FROM GREG! I DIDN'T GET IT! AND NO, HE DID NOT KNOW I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT. >> Greg: [LAUGHS] >> Tyrus: SO HERE'S THE DEAL. I WILL NEVER EVER PARTICIPATE. THERE WILL BE NO SECRET SANTA. I WILL LEAK NAMES. THE "GUTFELD!" TEAM IS JEALOUS OF MY AWESOME GIFT GIVING POWERS. THEY EVEN DO THE CHRISTMAS PARTIES ON FRIDAY WHEN THEY KNOW I FLY HOME! SO I'M DONE WITH CHRISTMAS. DONE. >> Greg: AWW. >> Tyrus: RIGHT? I'M THE VICTIM HERE. THANK YOU. WHERE'S THE CHEESE BOX, GUTFELD? TOO LATE! [LAUGHTER] >> Greg: I HAVE AN IDEA FOR SECRET SANTA, EMILY. EVERYONE SITS IN A CIRCLE IN THE EACH HAND $20 TO THE PERSON ON THE LEFT. >> Emily: I LOVE THAT GAME! >> Greg: IT'S UNDER $25. >> Emily: TOTALLY. IT WORKS. >> Tyrus: EXCEPT FOR ME, I'LL GET $5. [LAUGHTER] >> Emily: I WANT TO TELL YOU YOUR BOOK WAS AMAZING AND SECRET SANTA IS TOTALLY ABOUT THE GIVER, AND THE PERSON WHO GAVE YOU THE CHOCOLATE JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I'M SURE, AND MEANT WELL. >> Tyrus: I TRIED THIS WITH EVERY PERSON EVERY DATED AND THEY'RE STILL MAD AT ME. >> Emily: MY GIFT, WHICH ALSO TELLS WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU, IT HAS TO DO WITH COFFEE. I WORE MY COFFEE AND A LITTLE THING ABOUT ANGELS, BECAUSE OF MY FAITH. I FEEL SEEN AND LOVE. FOR YOUR ADVICE, WHOEVER HAS YOU NEXT YEAR SHE DOES GIVE YOU YOUR MIRROR AGAIN THAT GOT STOLEN BY THE WEEKEND TEAM! >> Greg: YES, THE EVIL "FOX & FRIENDS WEEKEND" TEAM. KAT, THIS GUY SEEMS VERY NEEDY. >> Kat: I HIT THE GUY SORRY, TYRUS. I KNOW EXACTLY WHO THIS GUY IS. HE WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND SO THAT HE COULD BE LIKE, "I WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND FOR YOU!" NOBODY IS ASKING YOU TO DO THAT. IT IS SECRET SANTA AT WORK. IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. HE NEEDS TO CALM DOWN. HE IS SOMEBODY WHO GIVES PERFORMATIVELY SO HE CAN THEN SAY "I WAS WRONG." WE WANT TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, A FAMILY, OR A DOG? >> Tyrus: HIS CHOCOLATES WEREN'T INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED, EITHER. I JUST LIKE TO POINT THAT OUT. >> Joe: NOW I FEEL BAD THAT YOU GAVE ME TWO OF THOSE CHEESE BOXES.
