Nastya: One, two. One, two. Stop. As-Salaam-Alaikum friends! We landed in the sunny Uzbekistan! Here is a pop quiz in geography. Evsei: Bring it on. Nastya: What is Uzbekistan a capital of? Evsei: Nastya… Guys we landed in Uzbekistan’s capital – the city of Tashkent. Nastya: That is an awkward moment. Why don’t we toss the coin and go about our business? Evsei: Heads. Nastya: Tails. Well. Odyssey Evsei. Show it. Evsei: Call me No Limits Evsei from now on. This belongs to you. Nastya: This is yours. That was a terrible turnout for me, but there is nothing I can do. Evsei: Bye-bye. Uzbekistan remained as a country closed for tourists for a long time. We tried coming here five years ago, but Heads and Tails were refused an entrance. Uzbeks decided that they would not hide their beauty a few years ago. They opened the doors for Heads and Tails Shopping. We already have plenty of souvenirs from here. Let us do some traveling! Hello Tashkent! There is always this exciting moment when you are about to see your over the top ride! Will it be a racecar or a business class? Where are you? Is this for me? Are you seeing this Olezha? I’ll be damned! My apologies. This will not happen again. Let us go look. Rolls Royce Phantom. No introduction needed. The most luxurious car in the world! Only oligarchs, sheikhs and presidents can afford to ride it. What now? Why does it open this way? Ugh, okay. There is a button here that shuts the door! Holy mackerel! This is a spaceship! The only cars that you see on the road were all made here – Ravon, Nexia, Matiz, Damas. The only idiot riding a Rolls Royce is me. Local authorities decided to protect local car manufacturers. The duty tax you would have to pay for a foreign car is immense. You would have to wage 150% duty tax to drive my $150,000 Rolls. Having a hundred bucks for two days in Tashkent is so baller! That amount equals to around a half of an average monthly salary here. Evsei can enjoy his gold card all he wants, because Uzbekistan is not an expensive country. You can have a great weekend here for $100! Enough poverty for me. Where is the nearest taxi? Can you tell me how much you would charge for a ride downtown? Murat: Downtown is 15K. Nastya: Fifteen? Will you take me there for twelve? 12.5? Murat: Is it just you? Nastya: Yeah? Deal? I told you so! You can get to the city center quickly for just $1.50! Cabbies are also good for reference on where to go and what to do in Tashkent. Excuse me. What is your name? Murat: Murat. Nastya: Murat? That is my favorite Uzbek name! Can you tell me where can a tourist on a limited budget go to do something? Murat: Our parks are nice. Nastya: Murat can you recommend the best place to try pilaf? Murat: At the Plov Center. It is located in the TV Tower. That is where the tourists go. They have a very big boiling pot and serve assorted plov. Nastya: I accept the challenge! I ran into a small problem with my gold card. It turns out that Uzbeks still prefer the good old cash. Here are some tourist reviews. Finding an ATM in Tashkent is problematic. Withdrawing the money or paying with a credit card is extremely hard. Problem with the ATMs. Hardly any of them around. The first thing that a millionaire has to do after landing in Tashkent is withdrawing plenty of dough! Wait for me for a sec while I exchange the money. It is not like you have a choice. I still have to pay you. I am practically palming a million! It is 800 something thousand, but just look at that wad of cash! I only took out about $2,000! The smallest bill here is 1,000 som. The locals still go to the market with plastic bags full of cash. Nice pile. I feel like a rich rapper right now. Murat: We arrived. Nastya: Oh, so fast. Thank you so much. Sorry about the mess I made. Super awkward. Tashkent used to be a Soviet Republic’s capital. Everything here looks similar to our cities. Nine-story panel houses. A typical Soviet hotel. Perhaps each capital has a hotel named after a country – Hotel Uzbekistan. The Soviet Union is even on the roads. Check it out! You get the impression that the city is very young while walking around in the modern center. It is only when you see the monuments, antique Madrasa or ancient mosques you begin to realize that its age is venerable. Locals believe that Tashkent is over 2,000 years old! I could not tell you about the entire city, but the center is comfortable – wide avenues, very green, spiffy architecture. “Tashkent” translates as “City of Stone”. It is very hot here in the summer. It is hot here pretty much all the time. Therefore, people seek shelter from the heat in the parks where there is shade. Everything would be great if… There are so many trees in this park! So much shade! A true salvation for locals and tourists… and they are whistling at us again. You will not be able to take a stroll in the park with your camera out. Why can’t we film? Coordinator: Here is where it says that we have permission to film. Nastya: You cannot enter the subway. Coordinator: We do not have the proper paperwork. Nastya: That is a wrap. You will run into problems at the market. Coordinator: We have the permission. Nastya: Let’s just walk away. Train your memory if you are going to Tashkent, because you will not be able to shoot freely. Guess I’ll just have to remember stuff. No photo! No video! No photo! No video Sasha! No photo! No video! Tashkent is a large and modern city, but it attracts very little tourist interest. People come to Uzbekistan to see the ancient cities. Therefore, I am going to Samarkand. Samarkand is one of the oldest cities in the world. All the caravan routes of the Great Silk Road led here. Samarkand looks like an illustration from one of Scheherazade’s fairytales. Today our adventure will take us to the times of that great past. When you own $100 in Tashkent you can forget about the “hostel” and go back to the dear “hotel”! Silver Hotel. It looks like a roadside motel on the outside. Let us see what is inside. Hello. How about a room for me? Receptionist: We happen to have one free room. It is a room for four, but we will only charge you for one person. The price is 218,500 sum, which is $26. Nastya: There were times in our travels when we paid $26 for a bunkbed. I will get my own room with four beds here. I think this is a great deal. We will take it. Counting money makes me tired. Let me take off my shoes. There are carpets everywhere. Friends, I think we got it made! Burgundy carpet with golden patterns, velvet covers, A/C, TV, closet. I was like, let me have a look! What is it like outside? The sun is shining or the moon is out? On the other hand, I have four beds! This bed will be mine, this one will be yours Sanechka, this one is for the backpack. Let my money rest on the fourth bed. There. My Rolls Royce took me to an ancient Samarkand in three hours. Thank you. No city was more important on the map on an ancient world than Samarkand. It was located right in the middle of the Great Silk Road. Caravans from all over Asia brought Fergana stallions, gems from Tajikistan, carpets from Turkey and Chinese silk of course. European merchants spent huge bags of gold on the exotic purchases. The amount of money that circled around here was unprecedented. “Samarkand” translates as “the Rich Settlement”. Samarkand was the center of the Great Silk Road. Registan was the heart of that ancient city. Amir Timur ruled Samarkand 600 years ago. He wanted to be the talk of the entire planet, so he ordered a construction of the world’s most beautiful capital. He spared no expense. The exteriors were finished off with mosaics. Look! The luxury is in every little tile of the mosaic. They used pure gold to decorate the interior! I get the feeling that even the air in here is made of gold. The best artisans from all over the world worked on the construction of Registan. There were no airplanes back then, so sometimes it took months for a revered craftsman to arrive from China or Turkey. There were no construction cranes or tile factories. Everything had to be made by hand. Therefore, construction was only completed by Timur’s grandchildren. This plaza astounds you with its grandeur even in the 21st Century! Should you visit Tashkent, you need to check out a local landmark – mahalla. Mahalla is a community. They were constructed by craftsmen to stick together for protection from enemies and to share food. These communities still exist today. Mahalla usually consists of one-story houses, some of which are 100 years old. Howdy. People are so friendly. What’s up guys! Hi! Hi! This is like walking around a large communal home. A long corridor with doors where the families live. These walls hide many stories and secrets belonging to many Uzbek generations. This only appears as a nice-looking old door, but it also has a story to tell. When a strange man would come, he would use the ring on the right to knock against the metal. Thus, a man of the house would come to the door. When a visitor was a female, she would use the ring on the left to knock on wood. Hence, a woman would come to greet the guest. That is the way it was. The three buildings around the plaza are Madrasas. Madrasa is a Muslim educational institution. In the middle ages, the young men would learn arithmetics, medicine, history, literature and astronomy. The major emphasis was put on the religion. The students would live upstairs and go to classes on the bottom floor. These chambers used to be the classrooms. These days they serve as souvenir shops. Look at how low these doors are. The reason for that is the inscription from the Koran above every entrance. Each person who passes through has to bow. This is way more than a souvenir shop! This is like a history textbook! Check it out. Uzbeks use these fingerbowls to drink tea and use this wide dish to eat pilaf. Uzbeks play these musical instruments. This attire is called chapan, an Uzbek costume reserved for holidays. Its design remained unchanged for a few hundred years. Those are the traditional Uzbek slippers. This is a traditional Uzbek embroidery. People used to select a bride based on the look of that tablecloth, not by how many followers you have on the Instagram or by how long your legs are. Although Madrasas became supermarkets a long time ago, they can tell you more than you would expect. The City Hall is the center of the city. The center of Mahalla is chaikhona. It is not a regular teahouse. This is a closed cozy courtyard. Man: Hello! Nastya: Hello. Man: Please come in. Nastya: This is where the elders play backgammon, have evening conversations and discuss mahalla’s problems. Tell me something interesting about this community, traditions, origins. Man: Our mahalla has a man who is considered a Father. Everyone listens to him. His word is the Law. Nastya: If you want to build something, you can just ask. In case you are approved, they will even help with the construction. Man: All of us chipped in to build this. Someone helped financially. Someone else brought the bricks here. Another man made the roof. Nastya: An elder has the unlimited authority in mahalla. Could he tell people whom they should marry? Man: Absolutely! Mahalla elder has to be present when you give away your daughter. Nastya: You must invite your entire mahalla to the wedding. It is disgraceful to do otherwise. One wedding invitation includes everyone. They read it aloud at the elders’ gathering. I will have that honor today. Hurmatli? Man: It means “respected”. Nastya: Sizni azis fanglarimis. Fanglarimis? Sadikzhon vazhamilohol. Vamin nikoh tui lari. Munasabati bilan 2018. October 7th. kuni suat at 7AM. Awesome! I am honestly fascinated, because I have rarely seen such communities where the people are so united. I want to wish you to continue to pass your traditions to younger generations and a long life to this chaikhona. We gather here now, they will gather here after us and continue to share this experience with their children, grandchildren and beyond. A toast to you, your traditions and this chaikhona. You are terrific people! I have done everything that any tourist could do in Samarkand. I walked around, visited a souvenir shop and took some pictures. It is about time I did something that a rich man would! I requested a personal laser show for $2,000 right on Registan Square! Hundreds of bystanders flocked here as well. I can’t just ask them to leave. This is more than just special effects. This show contains all of the Great Silk Road’s history! The birth of Samarkand and Uzbekistan. I feel like the whole magnitude of history and the scale of this place just collapsed on top of me! It is amazing how they were able to mix cutting edge technology with such an ancient city! This is super awesome! Every other tourist who comes to Uzbekistan travels to Samarkand. Almost a million people visited it last year! No wonder there are hotels on every corner. More hotels. Even more hotels. I chose a hotel with an eastern flavor – Emir Han Hotel. As salaam Alaikum. Receptionist: Wa Alaikum Salaam. Evsei: I need the best suite that you have. Receptionist: Of course. Here is your key. Evsei: Thank you. Receptionist: Have a nice stay. Evsei: Oh yeah! I walked around inside of an eastern fairytale all day. Now I will spend a night inside one. Everything shines and glimmers! Everything is gilded! This looks like a bedroom of a Samarkand’s princess. Why does it have to be pink? Why? Nastya will ridicule me. I call that style an exquisite tackiness. A gypsy baron would be delighted, but a Swedish designer would shoot himself on the spot. At least it is soft. Hello. There is a cult of food in Uzbekistan. Eating tasty and filling food is the main Uzbek entertainment. If you think that Italians or French like to eat well, you must have never seen an Uzbek feast! A wedding for a thousand guests is nothing to brag about! Let us store up on digestion pills and declare the second day an official belly feast! Owners of the gold card are not the only ones who can afford this celebration. In Uzbekistan, you can eat until you full without worrying about the money! Uzbek morning begins with tea. There is a saying in Uzbekistan – where do you get your strength from if you do not drink tea? I will tell you everything about Uzbek teatime. Let’s start by learning how to say tea in Uzbek, this is not hard – choi. They usually drink three kinds of choi. People would never pour you this much choi if you were their honored guest. The host always honors the guest by attending to him as often as possible. They do not use regular cups to drink choi. They use these fingerbowls. At first, I thought it was just a cup. Evsei showed what Uzbeks drink for breakfast. Try guessing what they eat. Fried eggs? A sandwich? Oatmeal? Perhaps pilaf? Pilaf is the correct answer! The best place to try it in Tashkent is Plov Center. This is a Pilaf Empire! They prepare it in giant pools that are two meters in diameter. This is a Pilaf Ocean! I’ll be damned! There are over 200 varieties of pilaf in Uzbekistan. The kinds depend on what you need. For example celebrations, weddings. Names are also based on the city where it was created – Fergana, Tashkent, etc. Which plov is this? Chef: Celebratory Tashkent plov. Nastya: I see the meat over there on the table. Some eggs. Chef: We make it in one pot. Nastya: Does it all go inside? Chef: Yes. Nastya: Awesome. Chef: It all cooks in one pot. Nastya: Incredible. They begin making plov at 5AM. Only men are allowed to make it. They throw giant chunks of beef in the pots. Add selected Khoresm rice and yellow carrots of “mushak” variety. Yellow is the carrot’s natural color by the way. Orange colored one was an artificially developed strain. Then they add peas of “nohat” kind and Samarkand raisins. They let it fry, boil and stew for a couple of hours. Long lines begin forming here by 11AM. The aroma is simply fantastic! Smells incredible! You need to make your way to Plov Center early. People buy plates, pots and even huge basins of plov. There is barely any left by the lunchtime. Can you give me a large one? I decided to buy a double portion. 42,000 amounts to five dollars. $5 I can manage. A celebratory Uzbek pilaf is about to burst into my mouth! Let us go! I do not taste the fat at all, which is surprising. You could swim in the pool of oil inside of that pot. Very tasty. I decided to see some more culture while my breakfast is digesting. Do you know what the most expensive souvenir in Uzbekistan is? A carpet made of silk! They are famous for their durability. Even two semi-trucks would not be able to rip it apart. They come with a 50-year guarantee! Hence, they are priced accordingly. There are still places in Samarkand where they make carpets using 700-year-old technology. It is time to see the real magic! I am about to show you how this turns into that. Meet a silkworm! It will come from this cocoon. They gather the cocoons before a butterfly can get out of not to damage a silk thread. After that, they boil and begin to unwind them. A single cocoon produces a silk thread that is one kilometer long! This is what the cocoon looks like after processing. Silk thread is very durable. It makes for a cloth that is immune to the moth. They color silk thread in these pots. They only use 100% natural dye. Lazurite mineral dust delivers blue color. Dyer’s madder provides brown. Pomegranate peels are used for red. This is where the thread turns into carpets. Their hands move so deliberately fast! They look like sawing machines! I want to understand this process better. Excuse me. Is it possible for me to try tying the knot somewhere? We hook the thread. Let it go underneath. We take the second thread. Hook it. Right? Seamstress: Yes. Evsei: Did I just tie it? Seamstress: Yes! Evsei: Really? It took me a minute to tie one. A local seamstress can tie at least twenty of them in the same amount of time! How long does it take to produce a carpet like that from scratch? A half of year you guys! Six months of somebody’s life can be lying around on someone’s floor! I will look at the carpets differently from now on. I decided to keep exploring the local cuisine. Tashkent’s largest and oldest Chorsu Market is the best place to do that. People were selling goods here 300 years before Christianization of Kievan Rus’. The size of the market is impressive. It is huge, because it has to fit all of Uzbekistan’s harvest. Uzbekistan boasts an abundance of riches! It has anything that your soul could desire – vegetables, fruit, greens, meat, pickled veggies, spices, barberry, watermelons, nuts and dried fruit. Hello. What is that? Local Tyson: It is a raisin. Nastya: Why is it? Local Tyson: It is the largest one! Nastya: This is the largest raisin! Just what the doctor ordered! Local Tyson: That was my best one! Nastya: The small one does not taste as good as the large. Our viewers always get on us for tasting food at markets and never buying anything. It is about time we change that! I am in Tashkent in the middle of a melon season. Most people know that Uzbekistan is famous for its melons. It would be blasphemous not to taste some! Howdy! Can I taste your melon? Vendor: Of course! Nastya: Yummy! This is very tasty! Vendor: Fifteen for the large one. 10K for the small. Very sweet! Nastya: Super. There are piles of unidentified stuff here as well. These white balls are salted cheese. This is a kind of a local snack. Ancient travelers would bring them along on the long trips because they are filling and have a long expiration date. Are those the rocks? Vendor: Clay. Nastya: Clay? What is it for? Vendor: For calcium. Nastya: Calcium? Can I try it? Vendor: Of course. Why not? Nastya: Do I just take a bite out of it? These rocks are the edible clay. It is filled with minerals and useful microelements. That is the reason they give it to the pregnant women. Anton Lavrentiev told you about it the last time around. That got a lot Uzbeks upset, but you cannot blame a guy for his natural reaction. It tastes like chalk. Interesting. Two thousand for some clay. A great toast. Hi there. Vendor: Hello. Nastya: What is that? Vendor: This is hasib. Intestine sausage. Nastya: Guts? Can I try it? Vendor: Sure! Nastya: This is a popular Uzbek dish – hasib sausage made from horse’s intestine, rice and tripe. Sounds appetizing! Vendor: You do not have to make that face. Nastya: This dish is charming. Why did I have to eat the whole thing? I think I am good. Vendor: Why is that? Nastya: I have a kilo of fat in my mouth! Vendor: You will be all right. Nastya: My mouth is negated with fat. There was this one particular bubble of fat. F**k! The one that popped in my mouth. I will not buy that. Not for myself. Is this what you like to eat? Woman: Yes. Nastya: It tastes good to you? Woman: Sure does. Nastya: Can I buy this for you? Deal! I insist! Woman: Thank you. Let my feast continue! Plov is a trademark Uzbek dish, but on the back of “the business card” it says shashlik. Holy mackerel! Shashlik is an ancient dish. It was probably introduced on the day a man learned how to make fire. Uzbeks did not follow a global trend of eating burgers and fries. They continue to enjoy shashlik. They came up with dozens of varieties! Of course, I will taste it! Let us kick things off with a shashlik roulette. This has to be beef, but there is a weird aftertaste. Can you please tell me what else is in here besides beef? Lamb fat. This is a shashlik with a quale egg. It has an egg inside, so it is less fatty than a regular shashlik. This is something light-colored. Looks like chicken, but I am not sure. Waiter: A delicacy. Evsei: That word frightens me. What kind of delicacy is it? Waiter: It is a bull scrotum. Evsei: Is that a popular delicacy around these parts? Waiter: It will improve your men’s health. Evsei: Did you ever try this? Waiter: Sure did. Evsei: That will make two of us then. Here comes the lamb. Great combo of olives, black pepper and beef. A large sandwich made from meat and fat on the skewer. This is the most famous shashlik in Samarkand. It is called Napoleon, because it has layers just like the famous cake does. The meat is very thinly sliced. That gives it an amazing crust. It really melts in your mouth. Some ribs. Sorry. I do not think this is how you eat it. This is salmon. Awesome spices. Is that another delicacy? Waiter: No, this is just fat. Evsei: This is very good. The spices are magical. Salt and pepper. Even eating a piece like that is too much fat for me. I have never had that before. Uzbekistan is the only place where you can taste twenty kinds of shashlik! I went back to Tashkent to finish off my Uzbek weekend in accordance to the local traditions – have a grandiose feast at an expensive restaurant! As salaam Alaikum. Hostess: Make yourself at home. Evsei: Thank you. Wow. Are you kidding me? Is all of this here just for me? A moment like this makes you want to become a good-looking prince from an eastern fairytale with good manners. Too bad I am not fit for that. Let me just eat then. I thought that they could not surprise me with anything! Then they brought me shourpa soup inside of a quince. My second dish was a roast baked inside of a pumpkin. I think I overestimated my abilities. I need a friend’s help and I know exactly who to call! Evsei SMS: How are you? Why no answer? I have a Rolls! You wanna hitchhike together when we finish filming? Why are you silent? You read em but never answer Nastya SMS: I am working Evsei. Evsei SMS: Are you hungry Nastya? Nastya SMS: What do you have? Evsei: I have everything Nastya! Uzbekistan is strange that way. On one hand, you receive enough impressions to write five eastern fairytale books. Mosques… Palaces… People! On the other hand, people are wary of the strangers. Almost as if we could see something that we should not. Nastya: That is a wrap. You have plenty of things that you should show to the outer world! The only idiot riding a Rolls Royce is me. This will not happen again. Nastya: I have a kilo of fat in my mouth! Evsei: That will make two of us then. Evsei: Why does it have to be pink? Nastya: That is an awkward moment. The small one does not taste as good as the large. Welcome! Nastya: Not too shabby Evsei! Evsei: Welcome to our table! Nastya: I wanted to ether you as usual, but you seemed to have figured out how to please Auntie Nastya! Evsei: True that. Make yourself feel like a queen. We have lamb, sweets… Nastya: Have a seat, have a seat. I get it.
I will figure it out. Why don’t you tell me about Tashkent? Evsei: I was in Samarkand. Nastya: Right! What was good there? Evsei: Everything! It was like walking around in the 13th Century! Nastya: You do not say! Evsei: Historic streets, ancient mosques. Nonetheless, there were light shows, modern hotels and awesome rides. That is pumpkin by the way. Nastya: I adore pumpkin. Evsei: How did it go for you? Nastya: Top notch. The top of all tops. Beautiful, colorful. Pilaf was insane! Evsei: Wow! >>Nastya: Extraordinary! I do not know how to dance eastern dances, but they do it so well that I wanna join in! Dear friends, I want to say that we will see you in the next city as I am doing this marvelous dance! Come on! Come on! That is Tashkent for ya!
